All the Time
by 21hrhn21
Summary: What if Spencer hadn't moved to LA until she and Ashley were seniors? Spashley, AU
1. Ashley Davies, Meet Spencer Carlin

**A/N: Alright, so this is my first story on _this _FF account, but not my first story on in general, so I'm not as new to this as I probably seem. Even so, I have really absolutely no idea what I'm doing and just felt like writing a Spashley story. I don't know where this is going or what this is even about, I just thought of an opening to the story and started writing. So...no idea what's going to happen. But I'm a fast updater, so I expect this thing to start taking shape pretty fast. Also, if anyone has any suggestions for a good direction to take this story in, I'm open to them. **

**The title of this story has been taken from Owl City's _The Saltwater Room_. I don't own that song, or South of Nowhere. **

* * *

"Mmm…" I hear the girl in front of me moan as I press my body more firmly against hers, curling the fingers that are buried deep inside of her. My thoughts are hazy and full of lust, but a small part of me is nagging at the back of my mind, telling me that I need to get out of this bathroom stall and go find Kyla before her drunk ass ends up passed out on the dance floor in the middle of the club. "Harder…"

I let out a breathy laugh next to her ear, but I think she is probably at least as drunk as Kyla is, if not more, and she doesn't even seem to hear me. She does react to me obliging her request, though, and as soon as I finish bringing her to her peak, I make my way out of the bathroom, straightening my clothes and hair after wiping my fingers off on my much-too-short skirt. Hey, whatever gets me one-night stands with girls like the one in that stall, right?

I have only done one shot and had one beer, which is very little for me, but I hadn't really expected anything different. As much I love to party, Kyla is wild enough that she could never be the designated driver. So that just leaves me, unless we bring Aiden along for the ride. Tonight, he isn't here. It's just me and my half-sister, partying it up like we do every free night we get.

From what I can tell, Kyla has gotten her party on plenty enough for one night, and is passed on a stool with her forehead pressed against the bar. I'm just thankful that it isn't the dance floor she's lying on.

"Kyla." I nudge her roughly, and she groans. "Kyla! C'mon, we're going."

"I'm nah ready…" she mumbles without sitting up.

"You look ready to me." My arms slip under her armpits, and I slide her off of her stool and hold her up, supporting her from behind. Even at eighteen years old, she still has no common sense when it comes to knowing when to stop drinking. Even _I _can tell when I'm borderline "too drunk to function".

It takes five minutes to get her to the passenger's seat of my car, and by the time I'm starting the vehicle itself, she is passed out again, drool trickling out of the corner of her mouth. I wrinkle my nose disgustedly, glancing down when my cell phone rings from my pocket.

"What do you want, Aiden?" I ask, my voice taking on a slightly whiny tone.

He laughs on the other end. "Just wondering if you two were home yet. Turns out my dad had to work late and had to cancel, so I'm free to come pick you two up if you need me."

"Thanks," I reply dryly, "but even if I was so drunk that I couldn't drive home, which I'm not, you would get here and we'd have to leave my car here because nobody would be here to drive it back home. And there's no way I'm leaving my brand new Porsche here overnight for someone to vandalize." I scoff. "Do you even think before you call me to have these conversations, Aiden?"

Aiden sounds a bit sheepish as he replies. "Sorry. I was just trying to be nice."

I sigh, unable to be mean to him when he uses that tone with me. "Yeah. I'm sorry too. It's just that Kyla snores when she's asleep and she's drooling all over the seat next to me, and…" I trail off with another sigh.

"One-night-stand not as satisfying tonight?" Aiden asks knowingly, and I glare at nothing in particular, hating that he knows me so well.

"It's only been recently that I've been feeling like this," I insist, but anything else I had been thinking about saying is suddenly impossible to recall. I am silent for a moment. "I just…I don't know. It's not enough anymore. Maybe I'm not gay after all."

Aiden lets out a laugh at that. "Don't be stupid. You're definitely into chicks. You're more into chicks than I am." I hear him clear his throat suddenly. "Don't tell anyone I said that."

"Okay, if I'm definitely gay, and definitely like having sex with girls, then explain why it's been almost a month and nobody I sleep with anymore feels as good as sleeping around used to feel."

"I don't know. Maybe you just haven't had a one-night-stand with the right girl yet."

Now it's my turn to laugh. "Great advice, Aiden. Sleep with a bunch more girls until you find the right one."

"Well, it's not like you'd listen to any other suggestions I might have."

I shrug to myself. "Yeah, you're probably right," I admit. "Anyway, it's late and we have school tomorrow, so I better get home and put Kyla to bed. I'll see you at school."

"You mean you're going tomorrow?" Aiden jokes, and I roll my eyes in response.

"Bye, Aiden." I lower the phone from my ear, hanging up and sticking it back into my pocket, then shift the car into drive and start forward just as Kyla lets out a particularly loud snore from beside me.

My name is Ashley Davies, and this is my life.

* * *

Kyla doesn't want to go to school the next day because of her killer hangover, and it's not like my mom is around to make her, considering we live alone in a house we bought with money from a rather large trust fund, so it looks like it's just Aiden and I today.

I say that because Kyla and Aiden are really my only two friends, unfortunately. Being a lesbian skank who hates the head cheerleader is a good way to ruin your high school image.

Aiden is in my grade, but we only see each other between classes and at lunch. I'm pretty sure he is slowly ruining his reputation by sitting with me every day at lunch, so it means a lot to me that he does. I would never tell him that, though.

Aiden and I used to date three years ago, back in freshman year. This was back when I was still confused about my sexuality and was still experimenting with both guys and girls. Now we're just the best of friends. Even today, I still tell people I'm not into labels, but I'm pretty sure I'm gay. I mean…yeah. All I have to do is take a look at one hot girl, and I know I'm gay. Definitely…completely…okay, who the hell is that?

"Ashley," Aiden says teasingly, snapping his fingers in front of my face, and I quickly move his hand out of the way without taking my eyes off the blonde across the lunchroom. "What are you staring at?"

"_Her_," I emphasize, gesturing to the girl. She is standing in line to get food, so all I can see is her back, but her perfectly straight blonde hair and her hot body are what catch my attention.

Aiden laughs for some reason. "That's Spencer Carlin, Ash. She's new today. But I doubt you're going to get her to sleep with you."

I give him my best "Are you kidding me?" look. Of course I'm going to sleep with her! I'm Ashley Davies. If I want to sleep with someone, I do, and absolutely nothing will stop me from sleeping with this-

Ah shit, she's sitting down at Madison's table. Game over. I have no chance.

_"No," _I tell myself quickly, inwardly, hoping to dissuade myself from giving up. Instead of staring at her body, I'm staring at her face now, and it is just as amazing as the rest of her. She has these bright blue eyes that twinkle when she laughs, which is what they are doing right now, and I can already imagine what they will look like darkening with arousal as she lies beneath me, squirming-

This is the point where I shift uncomfortably in my seat and cross my legs, quickly squashing that train of thought before I lose it in the middle of the lunchroom and…well, I don't know what I'd do if that happened. Probably kidnap the poor girl and drag her into a bathroom stall to have my way with her whether she liked it or not. "Spencer," I say carefully, testing the name out, and I finally tear my eyes away from her to look over at Aiden. "Isn't that a guy's name?"

Aiden shrugs. "I don't know. Guess not."

"Hmm." I put my elbow on the table and my hand on my chin, trying to seem nonchalant. "I'm going to sleep with her," I say calmly, and I can feel the truth in my words as they roll off of my tongue. I can feel it. I _am _going to have sex with this girl.

"I hear she's straight."

"Has that ever stopped me before?" I point out.

"She's also a cheerleader."

I wrinkle my nose with disgust. "Already? I thought it was her first day."

"Apparently her family moved here last week, and she and Madison met over the weekend. She's only just now enrolling in our school, but by the time she started today, she and Madison already knew each other. I guess she must cheerlead, and Madison thought she was good enough."

I sigh. "Stupid Kyla. I knew we shouldn't have spent all day Saturday at the mall. Maybe if we'd gone somewhere else, I could've gotten to this chick before Madison did." I wave his earlier comment away with my hand. "Oh, well. I don't care that she's a cheerleader. She's got a hot body and a cute face, and I'm already incredibly sexy, therefore once she is drunk enough, I will look like a goddess to her and there is nothing to stop me from taking advantage."

Aiden raises an eyebrow at me. "You're going to jail one of these days, you know."

I merely scoff, rolling my eyes and then focusing them in on Spencer. And when I do…she is staring back at me.

I can feel the electricity when our eyes meet. Seriously. The way this girl is staring at me, I can tell she's into me. And I am _definitely _into her, even though she's probably more of a bitchy cheerleader type like Madison.

Speaking of Madison, I have just realized why Spencer is staring at me. It's because Madison is, too, and her lips are moving fast next to Spencer's ear. Planting the seeds with practically every bad thing she knows about me. Fuck. Maybe Spencer's not into me, after all.

I force a smile and wave (like that's actually going to make her forget everything Madison is telling her), and she raises an eyebrow slightly, like she is not expecting for me to have noticed her. Of course I noticed her. She is the most beautiful girl I've ever seen.

Okay, when did I become such a sap?

Madison catches me watching them, and stops talking for a moment. We exchange brief glares, and then she smugly whispers something else into Spencer's ear. My eyes watch Madison's lips and I watch them form the word "slut".

Yeah, like she has any room to talk.

"She's ruining my chances," I growl to nobody in particular, but Aiden answers.

"Spilling your whole life story to Spencer?" he guesses, his eyes following mine to Madison and Spencer, and I nod my head angrily. "Well, that's Madison for you."

Aiden and Madison used to date, too, after I told him I was into girls and we broke up. I broke up with him, not the other way around. He was actually okay with me liking girls, and still is. Especially since when we go clubbing and he can watch me make out with them on the dance floor. He won't admit it but I know that's why he goes with Kyla and me to all of those clubs. He _did _break up with Madison, though, and now she hates him, which also makes it easier for him to sit with me every day. His reputation is already considerably trashed.

The bell rings, signaling the end of lunch, and I jump up quickly to go put my tray up, letting myself be jostled by the group of people all trying to rid themselves of their tray. Aiden will go onto class, as I know from experience, so I am alone to hang out by myself until my next class starts. It's my least favorite, too. Contemporary Literature, meet Boring as Hell. Oh, you two already know each other?

I don't usually go to my locker before this class, because I never do my work in there anyway and don't need to get a notebook or textbook out, but I decide to try and pay attention today to try and take my mind off of Spencer. See? She's already a good influence on me, making me do my schoolwork and all. We're perfect for each other. I'd probably even have sex with her more than once, and that's saying something, coming from me.

I have just gotten my locker open when I notice that Spencer's locker is just a few down from mine. She's four, maybe five lockers away, and she is not with Madison, thankfully. Nobody else is really close by, so the silence is kind of awkward since it is just the two of us. As she is closing her locker and preparing to go to her next class, I pluck up my courage and plant my feet in front of her, holding out my hand.

"Hi, I'm Dashley." I wince. "Davies. I mean, Ashley. Ashley Davies." Wow, what the hell was that? Way to fuck up your introduction, idiot.

She raises an eyebrow at me, and I don't blame her for thinking I'm weird, but she takes my hand anyway and shakes it. Tingles shoot up my arm and I nearly jump, and I could swear that for a fleeting moment I saw her look just as surprised as I did.

"Spencer Carlin," she nearly stutters, and she is so incredibly adorable that I want to kiss her right then and there. But I won't. And I have to let go of her hand. Mine feels cold and empty as soon as I do. "…I've heard a lot about you," she finally says, and if she is trying to make casual conversation, that's a funny way of doing it. Must be the cheer-bitch side of her kicking in.

"All bad, I'm guessing?" I reply, having had time to regain my cool, and now I'm more relaxed than she is. No more stuttering or messing up my name.

She nods, biting her lip, and my eyes are immediately drawn to the action. Her eyes flicker up to mine, and a part of me tells me to look away from her lips as she silently assesses where I'm looking. Her cheeks pink and she quickly stammers out, "U-Um, I have to go to my next class, so…I'll s-see you later."

My heart sinks as I realize I have successfully scared her off. Of course Madison has told her I'm gay. I'm probably lucky Spencer even talked to me in the first place.

When I get to class, I am surprised to see Spencer standing at the front, talking with my teacher about something, and my eyes are practically glued to her as I walk to my seat, sitting down and putting my Contemporary Lit book on my desk. My teacher, Mrs. Yorke, actually interrupts her own conversation with Spencer to look over at me.

"Ashley Davies, I'm appalled. You've decided to bring your book today!"

Hate the class. Love the teacher.

I give her a thumbs up while Spencer spins around, looking shocked to see me in here. "You know me, Mrs. Yorke. Always dedicated to my studies." I wonder if Spencer can hear the sarcasm.

Like school actually even matters to me, anyway. I have millions of dollars in the bank. I only agreed to stay in school because Kyla said she was going to, and I couldn't just ditch Aiden, considering I'm his only real friend except for Kyla.

Mrs. Yorke smiles at me, then turns back to Spencer, muttering something else, and then abruptly addresses the whole class with Spencer at the front of the room. "Alright, everyone, calm down, stop talking. This is Spencer Carlin. She's a new student." Someone wolf-whistles and I look around for the perpetrator. Spencer is _mine_. Nobody else gets to whistle at her but me. Spencer blushes like crazy and I suddenly can't stop thinking about how much I would love to make her blush like that. I am slowly getting the impression that she's the kind of girl who would blush if someone talked dirty to her. Which I'm good at doing. "She's going to be in this class with us for the rest of the year."

Hell yes. Please tell me I did not just imagine that. And that I'm not imagining the fact that the only empty seat in the classroom is the one right next to me.

"Okay, Spencer, before you go sit down, why don't you tell us something about yourself? We all did this at the beginning of the year."

She's right. We did. I told them that I can lick my elbow. Then they all tried to do it. My Contemporary Lit class doesn't exactly contain the brightest crayons in the box.

"Um…" She struggles for a moment, then takes the easy way out. "I'm a cheerleader."

Ugh. I wanted to know something big. Or something that would help me figure out a way to get her naked and beneath me. Preferably on a bed. Or I guess against a wall is okay, too, but for some reason I don't want my first time with Spencer to be like that. A bed would be better. The second time can be against a wall.

Look at me, getting all ahead of myself. I still have to have a real conversation with her.

Spencer takes the seat next to me, avoiding my eyes as Mrs. Yorke hands her a textbook.

"Alright, class, open your books to page 72 and read from there to page 84, then do questions 1-5 on page 85," she instructs when she is up in front of the class again. "And after that, I want a paragraph on what you think the theme of the story is."

This is our class's cue to groan, but Spencer simply opens her book and gets to work without a single complaint. Apparently, she's a _good _student. Whatever. She clearly doesn't belong in here, but I don't want her switching out.

Feeling bold, and a little blunt, I take out a sheet of notebook paper and make my intentions known, writing a note and folding it up and tossing it over to her when our teacher isn't looking.

She looks up from her textbook and raises an eyebrow at me again, and I motion for her to open it, just in case she has forgotten what to do with notes people pass you. She rolls her eyes, but follows my instructions, scoffing quietly when she sees my message. Her reply is on my desk a second later.

**Are you gay? **is my question.

**No. **is her response.

I write back, and so does she. Eventually, ten minutes have passed with us just passing notes, and our first real conversation is documented on paper for me to read. I scan the rest of our note, absentmindedly contrasting our handwriting. Spencer's is neater.

**Bi?**

**No.**

…**Straight?**

**Wow, you're smart.**

**Thanks.**

**Madison hates you.**

**I've noticed. Thanks for pointing it out.**

**She says you're a slut and that you got pregnant even though you're gay, and then you got an abortion. And now you're on drugs and you're an alcoholic.**

**She's full of shit. **

**I figured. Nobody can be **_**that **_**bad. But how much of it is true?**

**Well…I'm not into labels, as far as sexual orientation goes.**

**Yeah. **

**What's that mean?**

**What's what mean?**

**Yeah. What do you mean by that? Are you…**_**okay **_**with it?**

**It's fine. Just stop staring at me like I'm a piece of meat. It's flattering and all, but uncomfortable for me. **

**Whatever. Anyway, I did get pregnant, but I didn't get an abortion. My best guy friend and I were dating at the time, and we were going to keep it, but I had a miscarriage.**

**I'm sorry.**

**Yeah. I was only fifteen, though, so I wasn't ready to have a kid anyway. And I'm not on drugs, at all. I'm also not an alcoholic, but I drink sometimes, just like everyone else does. **

**That's good to know. That you aren't a druggie, I mean.**

**Wanna be friends?**

**Huh?**

**You know. Me and you. Friends. **

**Like…friends? Or…**_**friends**_**?**

**Friends, you dork. You know, like what you are when you aren't fucking but you aren't strangers either?**

**Madison would kill me.**

**No, she wouldn't. She's secretly terrified of me. That's why she spreads the Ashley hatred around the school. It's her defense. Fight the power, Spence. **

**Spence?**

**Ever heard of nicknames?**

**Sorry. My family usually calls me that.**

**Maybe I'll be a part of your family soon ;)**

**You're funny.**

**Was that sarcastic? It's hard to tell on paper.**

**Yes. It was.**

**Aww. **

**I have to do my work now.**

**Nonsense. I never do my work.**

**Some of us have squads we have to get good grades to stay on.**

**Pssh. I would get good grades if it meant I got to stay **_**off **_**the cheerleading squad. But fine. Here's my cell number. Text me so I have yours.**

I grin as my phone buzzes with a text message, easily smothering the noise, then opening the phone.

**I've never had a gay friend before.**

I have a feeling I am going to like this girl for more than her body.


	2. The One Thousand Dollar Chicken Suit

**A/N: Chapter two! I like this one better than the first one. And no, Aiden and Kyla aren't dating. I'm planning on giving more background on how Spencer basically not existing during Ashley's junior year affected things in the next chapter.**

* * *

Spencer is surprisingly nice to me, considering it's painfully obvious that I just want to get into her pants, and after having daily conversations with her for a week, I am starting to think that's she's not as bitchy as I originally thought. In fact, she's not bitchy at all. She's kind of sweet.

Ahem.

Anyway, so it has been a full week since her first day of school, and although I haven't made any progress in the sex area, I have inched my way into the friend zone, which means it's only a matter of time before she lets me take her to a club. Then, once she's drunk, I'm in.

I know that sounds awful, but it's not like she'd remember it in the morning, anyway. It would be utterly painless for her and completely heavenly for me.

Erm, she'd be a good fuck.

What's wrong with me?

I hardly know this girl, and every time she raises her eyebrow at me, my heart flutters. Every time she gives me one of those shy smiles that would look forced on anyone's face other than hers, I can't help but grin back a little too widely. And every time her hand accidentally brushes mine or even when she randomly bumps me hard in front of Madison in an effort to look like she isn't friends with me, my fingers twitch because I just need to _touch _her. Not even in a sexual way. I just want my hands on her body, anywhere.

"How's it going with Spencer?" Aiden asks me at lunch on that next Monday, and I can hear the amusement in his tone. "Gotten her to sleep with you yet?"

I glare at him, bouncing one leg impatiently. My class with Spencer is next, and I am almost always anxious at lunch now because of it. "You know I haven't," I retort. "It's only been a week. Great things take time."

Aiden rolls his eyes. "Admit it, Ash. She won't give it up to you."

"Ooh, a girl who won't sleep with Ashley?" Kyla pipes up, sliding into the seat on the other side of me and looking across the table at Aiden. "I didn't know one existed, other than me, of course."

Aiden smirks at me. "You mean you haven't told her about your everlasting quest to get Spencer Carlin into your bed?"

Kyla nearly chokes on her food. "Spencer Carlin?" she echoes incredulously, looking over at me with wide eyes.

"Shut up, Kyla," I tell her, crossing my arms. "She's cute."

Kyla manages to recover, then surprises me by laughing. "I wasn't surprised that you like her. I think she's cute, too, and I'm not even gay. I'm just surprised that you think you have a chance. That girl's a walking chastity belt."

"What is happening to the world?" I sigh out, shaking my head. "I thought you two had confidence in me."

"Not when it comes to sleeping with Spencer," Aiden supplies. "Her older brother, Glen, is helping out with our basketball team. He graduated last year, and he's always telling us about how we all better leave his little sister alone because she's an innocent little virgin and she'd never sleep with any of us anyway."

I roll my eyes. "Spencer's not a virgin."

"How do you know?" Kyla points out, twirling a strand of her hair around her index finger. She looks like such a ditz right now.

I glance over at Spencer for a moment, watching her talk to Madison, and then return my gaze to Aiden and Kyla. "Because I can just tell. Remember that time Bobby Santos was bragging about how he'd slept with some girl last year, and I called him out on it in front of everyone? I have virgin-dar. It's like gaydar but with virgins."

"What does it say about me?" Kyla asks, grinning.

"I don't know. I'm afraid to test it; it might explode from the sheer power of your nonvirgin-ness."

"Funny."

"Anyway, back to Spencer." I furrow my eyebrows, an idea formulating in my head. "You know what? Give me until four weeks from today. I bet you I will have slept with her by then."

Kyla scoffs. "Sorry, sis, but I'm not betting on whether or not that poor girl can resist your advances for twenty-eight days."

"Aiden?" I address him with a challenging smirk.

"How much?" he replies, all-business.

"Umm…how about…if you win, I'll give you one-thousand dollars, and if I win…you have to wear a chicken suit to school for a whole day."

Aiden smirks right back at me. "Definitely a deal."

* * *

"No book again, Ashley?"

"No, ma'am."

Mrs. Yorke sighs. "Share with Spencer."

I have been pulling this shit for the past three days and nobody has seemed to notice that anything is off. Well, Spencer notices. I can tell by the way she looks over at me and rolls her eyes while I scoot my desk closer to hers. I wonder if she knows that I do this just to sit near her. She probably does.

Alright. If I'm going to win this bet, I'm going to need to up my game a little bit. This is going to take precision, concentration, and tact.

"You're cute," I lean over and whisper into her ear. She drops her pencil abruptly, looking a little surprised and more than a little embarrassed, then leans over to pick it up.

"Um...are you hitting on me?" she whispers back a moment later. I blink. What am I supposed to say to that?

"Er…yeah?"

She raises an eyebrow at me, and, predictably, my heart flutters. "Don't." And now It's somewhere in my stomach.

"Why not?" I ask her.

"I don't like girls."

I scoff. "Well, you say that _now_, but-"

"I don't like girls, Ashley," she hisses angrily all of a sudden, glaring at me. "Okay?"

I raise my hands defensively, trying to hide the fact that my feelings are seriously hurt. Other than Madison, I have never had someone flat-out tell me they didn't like me before. "Alright."

A few minutes pass while we work silently, and-well, why _Spencer _works silently. I just sit there. Anyway, it is during this period of sitting that my eyes find Spencer's left hand, then one that isn't writing at the moment. It's really pretty. Just like the rest of her. It looks like she bites her nails, though, but I don't mind. Nails dig into your back. They hurt.

Her skin looks smooth, and while I normally wouldn't be this bold after only a week of knowing someone I'm trying to sleep with, I have a bet to win, so I reach forward and discreetly place part of my hand on top of hers. It feels great to touch her.

She stops writing. We are both silent for a moment, and I am nonchalantly trying to write with my left hand. It's pretty hard, and doesn't look natural at all. Plus I have no idea what our assignment is anyway, and, looking down, I realize I have written Spencer's name. Okay, this is turning into an obsession.

Spencer's other hand is reaching for mine all of a sudden, and she delicately picks my hand up, moves it over a few inches, off of hers, and then drops it onto my desk with a soft thud. And then she goes right back to work. Despite the fact that it was a rejection, it was a hilarious one, and I can't help but chuckle. The corners of Spencer's lips twitch upward for a fraction of a second.

"Why don't you ever talk to me outside of class?" I ask her all of a sudden, giving up the flirting for today.

"You know why," she says easily, without looking at me.

"Well, I thought maybe it was because of Madison, but then I figured you weren't that shallow," I tell her, and if I'm not mistaken, she looks a little guilty. "It _is _because of Madison, isn't it?"

"She controls whether or not I'm on the squad," Spencer mumbles, and yup, that is a guilty face. "If she sees me hanging out with you, she might kick me off."

"Why do you even like her?" I question, rolling me eyes. "She's such a bitch."

"I don't-"

"Girls!" Mrs. Yorke cuts in, giving me a look that tells me she probably knows this is somehow my fault. "Get to work."

Spencer goes back to writing, and I go back to pretending to write.

"I don't like her," she whispers a moment later. "But she's the cheerleading captain and I have to hang out with her."

"And what about me?" I reply, glad she can see how evil Madison really is.

Spencer rolls her eyes without looking over at me. "You're okay."

Hey, if I can flirt with her verbally and physically, get rejected twice, and still be "okay", I must be doing pretty well.

* * *

Four days later, it is Friday, and Kyla and I have our usual plans for the weekend: getting drunk and having sex. With other people, of course. Ew.

We haven't called Aiden yet to ask if he wants to go with us tonight, but as I'm applying lip gloss that I know will probably only be kissed off anyway, I ask Kyla, "Do you think I should invite Spencer?"

"I thought she wasn't into you."

I scoff. "Please. She was just saying that."

"You're in major denial, Ashley."

"Shut up, Kyla. You don't know anything about her."

"And you do? You've hardly known her ten days."

"But I talk to her every day, anyway. You don't."

"I've _seen _her talking to people. Talking to boys. _Flirting _with boys."

"So? Doesn't matter if she's straight. It's not like I'm looking for a relationship." Relationship with Spencer? That'd mean lots of sex, but also kissing affectionately in public, holding hands while we walk down the halls, whispering mushy stuff into each other's ears all the time…

I screw up my face, trying to picture it, but Kyla interrupts me before I can. "Of course you're not, Ashley," she replies, sounding a little aggravated. "You never are."

"Well, you're no angel, either," I point out, catching her accusatory tone. "You're probably going to either get drunk, get laid, or both tonight."

"So are you."

"But I'm not the one trying to act all innocent."

"I wasn't, either. I'm just saying. She's straight, and she obviously doesn't want you messing with her."

"Why do you even care?"

"Because you could get yourself into a huge mess with this one." I can't believe Kyla's trying to be all wise all of a sudden, because normally, she's an idiot. "Yeah, sure. Most girls do give it up to you without a decent fight. But can you really see Spencer sleeping with a _girl_, let alone a girl she's only known a few days?" My eyes cloud over, and that's enough of an answer for her. She mutters something under her breath and goes back to doing her hair.

"Okay, okay," I finally concede, coming out of my daydream and focusing on Kyla. "I won't invite her, then. Should I call Aiden?"

"Will we need a ride home?" This is her way of asking me how hammered I'm going to get.

"…Yeah."

* * *

Okay, so here's where I'm at right now. I skipped partying last weekend because Aiden had a basketball game and I promised him I'd go, and then Saturday night Kyla some kind of dance recital that she dragged me to, so my nights were all booked up. That means I'm seriously sexually frustrated at the moment and I'm also in the middle of a large dance floor full of hot drunk girls, but _Spencer _will not get out of my mind the one time that I actually want her out. It is so wrong for me to feel like I'm cheating on her by sleeping with someone else, because we're not even dating and she's still pretending not to like me, but that's basically how I feel.

Someone wraps their arms around me from behind and pulls me backwards against them, and when I can feel that it isn't a girl, I am immediately in ass-kicking mode, until the guy rests his chin on my shoulder and I can smell the familiar scent of Aiden's shampoo. "Are you drunk?" I ask him, wondering why he is so close.

"No, but I figured you could use a dance partner, since you don't seem to be finding one on your own."

"You idiot," I snap in response, elbowing him away. "If you want to find me a dance partner, go get Kyla. I don't want every girl here seeing me dancing with a guy."

I turn and glare at him, and he grins sheepishly. "Kyla's drunk."

"Already? We've hardly been here an hour."

"Yeah. I left her in a booth. I think she should be okay for a little while."

I scoff. "Just go sit with her. Give me a few minutes and we'll leave."

He nods, listening to me for once, and I am immediately scanning the dance floor for someone who looks like they'd sleep with me. I'm not in the mood to sort through people and analyze behaviors or anything tonight, though, so when my eyes land on Kelly, it is both a relief and a disappointment.

Kelly is gay. About two years ago, she started hitting on me at this very club, and I agreed to go out with her for a night, knowing it was a date, which I was fine with. What I wasn't fine with was her driving me to some make-out spot and trying to put the moves on me with some cheesy one-liner. We haven't talked much since then.

"Kelly," I acknowledge dryly, planting my feet in front of her and crossing my arms.

She turns towards me from her seat on a bar stool, raising an eyebrow. "Who are y-? Wait. Ashley Davies."

"Yeah," I reply, and she smirks. Okay, never mind. This was a bad idea.

"What do you want from me?" she asks. Like she doesn't already know.

"Nothing," I tell her quickly, already turning away. "I just recognized you and thought I'd come say hi." This just makes me sound like even more of an idiot, but I have hardly taken a step when a hand grabs mine, pulling me back and turning me around. When I'm facing Kelly again, she's no longer sitting down, and we are way too close for comfort.

"I never thought I'd see the day where Ashley Davies was shy," she comments, sliding her other hand down my arm, and my eyes fall to the spot she is touching me at, my eyebrows furrowing. "So…" she begins carefully, and I wish she would stop touching me. "Do you want to go to the bathroom or something?"

The day I sleep with Kelly is the day LA runs out of lesbians, I decide, shaking my head and pulling away from her before she can do anything. I'm not _that _desperate, yet. "Bye," I say quickly, ducking back into the crowd and weaving through until I spot the booth Aiden and Kyla are at.

"That was fast," Aiden tells me as I plop down in the seat across from him and my unconscious sister. I glare at him.

"I can't believe I considered having sex with Kelly," I reply.

"Kelly? _Kelly _Kelly?"

"Yeah, the one that tried to get me to sleep with her a couple years ago on our first date," I confirm, sighing. "Let's just go. I'm not going to find anyone here."

When we leave, I feel even more frustrated than I did coming into the club. We are halfway home when I realize that Aiden's attendance was completely unnecessary, because I hardly drank anything, either.

What is Spencer Carlin doing to me?

* * *

I am at my locker on Monday, after lunch, when Spencer walks up to hers and begins to enter her combination. "So I heard from Aiden that you two went clubbing Friday night," she tells me nonchalantly, without looking at me, and I wonder how much she knows.

"You talk to Aiden?" Now I that I think about it that sounds exactly like something Aiden would do: interfere with our bet by making friends with Spencer.

"A little." I look over at her to see her smiling to herself. "He's kind of cute."

"Yeah, well try looking at his face after you've just told him that he's knocked you up. He isn't so cute, then."

Spencer doesn't look like she knows whether to laugh or not, but I smile at her to let her know I'm joking. "So…you two dated, then?" she questions.

"Yeah. For a while, actually," I tell her. "He's a good friend, but not worth your time as a boyfriend. You could do better."

"What, like…you?" Spencer retorts sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

"Exactly," I reply lightly, trying to sound like I'm joking, like she is not the reason I had an awful, sexless weekend. She laughs for about one second before her expression suddenly changes completely and she glares at me like she hates me. Bipolar, much?

"Hey, chica, how was your weekend?" Madison asks, approaching Spencer from the direction I had my back to. That explains the weird behavior, at least. Spencer looks away from me and over at Madison, forcing a smile.

"Okay. Glen got an offer from another college, asking him to play for them, but I think he's more into coaching than playing, now."

"Good," I hear Madison tell her. "You're brother's incredibly sexy."

Ew. I haven't seen or met Glen yet, but I'm pretty sure that if I had a brother, it would bug me to hear my friends call him sexy.

I must have scoffed or something on accident, because Madison suddenly turns towards me, a deep frown on her face. "We have to get your locker moved, Spencer, before you catch whatever she has."

I smile back at her sarcastically. "Don't even start with me on diseases, Madison. It's not like I want to talk to either of you, anyway." Spencer gives me a grateful look at that, and I try not to smile. "I don't have time for bitchy cheerleaders."

"You wish you were good enough to make the squad," Madison retorts haughtily. Ugh. I don't know how Spencer stands her.

"The day I try out for cheerleading is the day Aiden wears a chicken outfit to school," I reply, using the first thing that came to mind. Unfortunately, I have now accidentally condemned myself to either paying Aiden one-thousand dollars, or trying out for cheerleading. Well, hopefully Madison will have forgotten about what I just said by the time I win the bet.

"Really? It won't be long, then," Madison says, smirking, and although her statement is meant to insult Aiden, I have to say that for once, I completely agree with her.

The bell rings, signaling that class is going to start soon, and Madison gives me the finger and then says goodbye to Spencer, sauntering off to her class with her hands on her hips.

"Sorry about that," Spencer apologizes as we head to our only shared class. "I saw her coming and I had to cover up that we were talking."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" I ask her, amused.

She blushes, and it is barely noticeable. But I do notice. "I guess not." We sit down in our desks and take out everything we will need for today (I conveniently forget my book again), and Spencer looks over at me with a sigh. "I really am sorry, though. I practically ignore you all day, but you've been the nicest to me out of anyone here for the past two weeks." She eyes me for a moment. "Even if you have been a little _too _nice."

I grin at that. "I'm just a friendly person."

"That's what you're calling it?" She does that little thing with her eyebrow that she reserves for when she thinks I'm being weird, and it only serves to make me happier.

"Well, that's what I asked you on the first day, wasn't it? If we could be friends?"

"Yes, but most of the time it just seems like you're trying to get in my pants."

Ha. Told you she knew. "Me? Psh. I don't like girls. They're icky."

"Are you making fun of me?"

I twirl my pencil between my fingers absentmindedly, feeling quite pleased with myself. "Maybe."

She shoots me an aggravated look, then wrinkles her nose and shakes her head. "You don't care much about sexual orientation, do you?"

"I think there's a fine line," I tell her, a little distracted because she is tapping her own pencil against the corner of her mouth. "There's gay and straight and bisexual and people who want to experiment and people who'll experiment when they're drunk, and people who just don't give a shit who they're sleeping with as long as they get some, and people who are a combination of two or more of all the things I just listed. So a lot of people can be a lot of things. You never know."

"So which of those are you?" she asks, and I smile over at her.

"Like I said: I'm not into labels."

"I wouldn't have guessed, after everything you just said."

"Yeah, well…" I trail off, then smirk at her. "What about you, then, Spencer? How many of those categories do _you _fall into?"

She looks a little caught off-guard, then flushes, avoiding my eyes. "Maybe I'm not into labels, either," she mumbles, totally stealing my line, but I'm too busy grinning at how cute she is to really care.


	3. Oil Distraction and Strange Interactions

**A/N: Well, I am majorly ahead on this story right now, and have about eight chapters written. The next chapter was actually going to be chapter three, but then I decided that I needed more detail before we got to that point, so I added this chapter in here, which means that all the info on Ashley's life before Spencer will be coming up next chapter instead. I'm going to try and keep a steady updating schedule of about one chapter per night, but I guess if I get enough reviews asking for more chapters, I could post an extra or two :P **

**Otherwise, this'll be the only one until around tomorrow night. Enjoy!**

* * *

Wednesday, Madison and Sherry make plans to go shopping after school, and Spencer informs me that she doesn't want to go, and needs a ride home since they are her usual ride.

"Sure," I agree. "But why don't you want to go shopping?"

She rolls her eyes. "Because it's Madison and Sherry. Would _you _want to spend a whole afternoon with them?"

I laugh. "I see your point. But does that mean you'll spend the afternoon with _me_, instead? I'm free and Kyla will be off with her friend Chelsea, so I need someone to hang out with."

She thinks about it for a moment, and I try not to act too much like her answer is important. "Yeah, I guess I can try and put up with you for an afternoon."

"Great! Wait until you see my car."

Six hours later, we are driving down the highway in my Porsche Convertible with our hair blowing in the wind, and Spencer is trying on my sunglasses and pulling impressions that are supposed to be me acting sexy.

"I sooo do not do that," I tell her, glancing over at her as she lowers the sunglasses ever-so-slightly and puckers her lips at me seductively.

"I bet you do," she argues with a grin, pushing the sunglasses back up her nose and tilting her head to the side slightly. "'Hi, I'm Ashley Davies,'" she mimics, making her voice lower and more raspy, like mine. It's kind of hot. "'You're sexy, I'm sexy, let's go have sex in the disgusting club bathrooms!'"

"Stop that," I command, snatching the sunglasses off of her face and trying not to smile while she giggles next to me. I'd told her about that, obviously, but it was nice to listen to her tease me about it, since she'd seriously disapproved at first.

"'Hi, I'm Spencer Carlin'", I say, my tone laced with innocence. "'Nobody could ever guess this because I'm so sweet and harmless, but I'm secretly into girls, especially sexy ones named Ashley…'"

"You wish," she mumbles, embarrassed, and I wrinkle my nose at her teasingly, then slide my sunglasses back on and return my attention to the road. She's right. I totally do.

"So where are we going?" she eventually asks.

"I haven't decided yet," I tell her honestly. "Where do you want to go?"

She grins. "Let's go bowling!"

"Umm…no. We're in LA, and you want to go bowling?"

"Yeah, why not?"

I stare at her for a moment, trying to figure out if she is serious or not, then shrug. "Well, alright. I guess we'll go bowling."

The closest bowling alley is fifteen minutes away, and when we get there, Spencer realizes that she didn't bring any money, so I make her let me pay for her. It's not like I'm about to have a shortage of cash anytime soon, anyway, and paying for her makes it feel even more like a date. At least to me, it does.

Apparently, Spencer used to bowl a lot with her family back when they lived in Ohio, so I already know I'm going to lose, considering I never bowl. I could break a nail. Plus, have you seen the shoes?

"Can I get some bumpers up in here?" I ask the lady behind the desk, and she looks me up and down for a moment, smacking her gum.

"Bumpers are only for children ten and under," she recites, and I glare at her, then turn and stomp back to our lane, where Spencer is laughing at me as she enters "Spence" and "Ash" into this electronic thing near our seats.

"No bumpers?" she asks me, raising an eyebrow.

"They won't let me. I might throw the ball too hard and break them, I guess." I shrug. "At least you're free to kick my ass, now."

"Nonsense," Spencer insists, scrambling to her feet and then going to find us bowling balls to use. She comes back with two nine-pound ones, and I eye them suspiciously, wondering how much they will hurt if they drop on my feet. She puts them down on the little rack next to the lane, bending over to do so, and I avert my gaze quickly. Now is not a good time for her to catch me staring at her. "I'll teach you how."

"How to what?" I ask dumbly.

"How to bowl, of course. Look, I'm up first, so just watch me."

Ha ha. I have an excuse to stare at her now.

She grabs one of the bowling balls and takes this professional-looking stance a few feet behind the lane, and I don't see what she does after that because I'm too busy watching _her _and not what she's doing. The ball knocks down seven pins, and she shrugs, turning back around to face me. "Guess I'm a little rusty."

Spencer and oil. Mmm.

"But anyway, you saw what I did, right?"

"Huh?"

She sighs, whining, "Aaaash…come on, watch me this time!"

"Alright, alright." I force my eyes to follow her arm and not her body, and she swings it back and lets a second ball go. It looks like it's going into the gutter, but then it curves back in at the last second and knocks the remaining three pins down.

"Are you kidding me? I can't do that," I tell her, standing up while the pins reset. I am standing by the rack a moment later, staring down at one of those nine-pound bowling balls apprehensively. "I'm not even sure I can lift these things."

"Sure you can. You lift heavy things all the time," Spencer tells me, and I think she is taking another stab at my sex life. Her smirk confirms it a moment later.

"You know what, Spence? One more crack like that and I'm chucking this thing at your pretty little head," I tell her, smiling sweetly, and she just mimics my expression, even adding in a cute little wave.

"Good luck," she teases.

I drop the ball on my foot on the first try. It's worth it, though, because after that, Spencer helps me with every single throw, touching my arm and my hand and guiding it into the right motion. I'm pretty sure we both spend most of the time blushing for the rest of the afternoon.

* * *

The next day, Spencer and I are back to being normal again, acting like we didn't practically go on a sort-of-date and flirt and tease each other and touch a whole lot (which was super distracting, by the way, especially when she was giving me instructions and I had to try and pay attention).

I am walking down the hall at the end of first period when I spot Spencer and Madison talking about something, though Spencer doesn't seem to be too into it. I consider rescuing her, but Aiden turns the corner at the other end of the hallway, practically coming out of nowhere to stand next to Spencer. She greets him with a grin, and Madison looks a little disgusted. My expression probably looks close to Madison's.

"Hey, Spence…" That's _my _nickname. And her family's. But not his. "…I was just wondering if you were busy this afternoon."

Madison scoffs, and I am mentally cheering for her to do something, _anything _to make Aiden to go away. "You're seriously friends with this loser, Spencer?"

"Um…we talk sometimes," Spencer replies nonchalantly, and I am proud to see that she is just as ashamed of Aiden as she is of me. Um…never mind. Disregard that sentence.

Anyway, Madison has just put her hands on her hips and rolled her eyes, and it looks like Aiden is rolling his eyes right back. "Whatever, Spencer," Madison says. "I refuse to be around people like him."

No! Madison, come back! Don't leave them alone together!

Too late, she is leaving, and Aiden is turning to Spencer to continue their conversation. "Anyway, I was thinking we could go grab a bite to eat, or…I don't know. Whatever you want to do. Interested?"

Spencer opens her mouth, but before she can say anything, I jump in between them out of nowhere, not really sure how I got to them so fast. "Hey, guys!" I exclaim, forcing a smile. Aiden looks like he wants to kill me. Spencer just looks at me like I'm weird. I'm used to both looks. "What's up?"

"Uh, not much," Spencer says quickly, avoiding my eyes, and I can almost swear that her cheeks are a little pink. "I have to go to class, but I'll see you two later. Bye!" She scurries away from us and I lose sight of her relatively quickly, turning back to Aiden. We scowl at each other.

"I called her first, and we have an agreement," I tell him. "No liking the same girl."

"It's not my fault she's cute," Aiden replies, leaning against a locker nonchalantly. I bet he thinks he's cool. Idiot.

"You're interfering with our bet, too," I point out, crossing my arms.

"Well, that's an added bonus, isn't it?" he says, smiling as he pats the top of my head a couple of times. My scowl deepens. "Now run along and play while the big dog gets his girl, Ash. I'm sure there are plenty of other girls around here that you can take advantage of."

* * *

"Please tell me you're not _actually _interested in Aiden?"

Spencer smiles over at me mildly, looking up from the textbook we are once again sharing. "Jealous?" she whispers.

"_Yes_," I emphasize, and no matter how many times I say things like this, I have a feeling that she thinks I'm joking. "Very jealous. _Now_ will you stop talking to him all the time? He's a jerk."

"I thought you were friends with him?"

"I am. But he's still a meathead. Totally not right for you."

"Well, I'll be the judge of that, won't I?" she points out, and I let out a long, quiet sigh, reaching up to rub my temples.

"I know him better than you do, though," I reply. "I _dated _him. He's an awful boyfriend, he doesn't even-"

"Use a condom?" Spencer cuts in.

"Harsh," I tell her. That would've hurt if it hadn't been three years since I was pregnant.

"Sorry. I'm just kind of stressed out right now, even without all the dating and all that." She smiles at me. "Yesterday helped, though. I had fun."

Her smiles are contagious. "Me too." I look away quickly in case I am blushing again, clearing my throat. We are both silent for a moment. "My toe's a little sore, though."

"But your bowling skills have improved, right?"

"I don't know. Maybe we should go again sometime so you can check?" I see her smile a little out of the corner of my eye.

"Definitely."

* * *

The better part of my Friday is spent stalking Aiden, preventing him from being alone with Spencer for more than a few seconds at a time, and I think it is clear to Aiden and to Spencer _exactly _what I'm doing. By fourth period, I have interrupted Aiden asking Spencer out for about the fifth time, and she has to pull me aside, most likely to lecture me. I feel like a toddler that has misbehaved. It's embarrassing.

"Ash. What are doing?"

I look down at the ground guilty, tapping my foot against it to a rhythm that is in my head. "Talking to you and Aiden."

"Yeah, well you've been _talking _to us every time Aiden gets within shouting distance of me. We both know he's trying to ask me out on a date, and we both know you're trying to stop it. You have nothing to worry about, okay?" I look up at her hopefully as she continues, feeling a bit like a puppy, now. "Nothing that happens between Aiden and I will come between our friendship, or your friendship with Aiden. We won't let you turn into the third wheel or anything like that."

Fuck.

"But-"

"But, nothing," she cuts in, putting a hand on my shoulder. The tingly sensation I get feels like it is mocking me, now. "I just want you to try and be supportive of me. I don't date very often and I'm really hoping Aiden and I will work out. Besides, I usually take things really slowly, anyway, so I'm probably not going to say yes at first. I'll wait until I get to know him better." She looks at me nervously. "You're okay with this, right?"

It takes a moment to find my voice, and when I do, I am ashamed of what I say. "Um…yeah." I smile weakly. "Sure."

That weekend, once again, I can't bring myself to have sex with any of the girls I meet.


	4. A Not So Minor Setback

"Kyla, come help me with my homework," I demand around two weeks later on a Sunday night, peeking into her room and glaring at her when I realize she has headphones on and cannot hear me. "KYLA!"

She glances up from the book she is reading (Kyla can read?) and pulls off the headphones, raising an eyebrow at me. Spencer's eyebrow raises are better. "Hmm?"

"I need help with homework, and you took this class last year, so you have to help me. Plus, it's your fault I'm even still in school in the first place."

"If you wanted to, you could drop out, you know," she points out, and I choose to ignore that, walking over to her and pulling her to her feet.

"C'mon. It's Physics. You're good at that, aren't you?"

"Um…no?"

"Help me anyway."

Kyla is the only person I see every day. Our shared house is almost as big as the one we used to live in with my mom, but only has two bedrooms and four bathrooms. The extra space is because of the huge kitchen, living room, and my own little personal band room where I keep all my guitars and microphones and stuff. Kyla also has a small room that she likes to use as a dance studio. Plus, we have a room to eat breakfast in and a room to eat dinner in.

Neither of us really ever liked my mom much, so as soon as we were both eighteen, we got the hell out and put our trust fund money to good use. Our dad died about a year ago, and just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, it turns out he cheated on my mom eighteen years ago. Thus, Kyla. I hated her at first, but we get along a lot better now. We certainly argue enough to be sisters, but I love her. Aiden was dating Madison last year and didn't get to spend much time with me, so that only left Kyla to help pull me out of the depression I was in after my dad died. She became my best friend. And even though I'd never tell her that, I think she knows. And I think I'm her best friend, too.

"I'm not doing your homework for you, you lazy bitch," she tells me after glancing briefly at my assignment. "Do it yourself."

"Then I'm not driving you to Ego this weekend," I snap in response. She totaled her car two months ago and has been too distracted since then to go get a new one.

"I'll just get Aiden to do it, then," she says easily, crossing her arms and leaving my room.

"I'll tell him not to!" I call after her, but it is pretty much useless, considering Aiden will listen to Kyla over me. Apparently, he thinks she's scarier. A part of me can understand where he's coming from, but I still have to disagree. I can be pretty intimidating.

Sighing in aggravation, I pull out my phone and text my only salvation at times like this.

**Do u have Physics?**

It takes a couple of minutes, but Spencer's reply finally comes. **Not until next semester.**

**Well, I have homework and I don't want 2 do it.**

**Then don't.**

My eyebrows furrow. I hadn't thought of that. **Good idea. Thanks.**

**Glad 2 b of assistance. Btw, do u have Aiden's number?**

**No.**

**U liar. **

**Y do u want it?**

**Y do u think I want it?**

**So u can start dating him and go off and get married and leave me all heartbroken and alone?**

**Very funny, Ash. Give it. We've already been out on 2 dates and he's way 2 shy 2 ask for it, and so am I. **

What?

**You've been out with him?**

**Yeah, once a week and a half ago, and again Friday night. Didn't he tell u? **

**No.**

**Oh…well, I'm sure it just slipped his mind or something. Anyway, can I have his number?**

**…I don't think so.**

**Ugh. Fine. I'll get it from Kyla.**

At that, I give up texting and dial her number. "Hello?" she answers innocently.

"You talk to Kyla now, too?" I ask incredulously. "What're you doing, moving in on all of my friends?"

"Afraid they're going to like me better than you?" she asks, jokingly.

I sniff delicately. "I just liked how we had our own little thing going. Just the two of us."

"Well, I'm trying this new thing where I make friends with people other than you and Madison. Aiden happened to introduce me to Kyla and said she was your half-sister. I'm not purposely just making friends with your friends."

"But…" I begin hopelessly, trying to put my thoughts into words. "But haven't you realized how much of an idiot Aiden is, yet?"

Spencer laughs. "No, he's sweet, Ash. Madison's surprisingly supportive of me and him, even though she says he's kind of a loser. I think I actually like him, and it kind of seems like he likes me."

I am seriously considering strangling Aiden right now. And apparently, Spencer has been taking all of my recent advances over the past month as just friendly jokes or meaningless flirting, which means I am completely back to square one with only one week left to go until I owe Aiden one-thousand dollars. Okay, sure, I'm still trying to sleep with her, and I have a bet on it, but I definitely care about her more than Aiden does. He probably just wants the money. Hell, I'd pay him _two_-thousand dollars just to stay away from Spencer. "But you've hardly known him a month."

"I've known you a month, too."

"But I'm trustworthy."

Spencer laughs at that, and I can honestly say that my feelings are deeply hurt. "_You're _trustworthy, but Aiden isn't?" I am still getting the feeling that she thinks this conversation is totally playful and not serious at all. "Just give me his number, Ash. I'd get it from Kyla tomorrow, anyway."

I am silent for a second, just breathing into the receiver while Spencer waits patiently. "No," I finally say, and even I can hear the own pain in my voice, so I know she can hear it, too. I hang up the phone a second later, and I don't pick up when she tries to call me back.

* * *

"Ashley."

I increase my pace ever-so-slightly, squinting my eyes in concentration as my first-period class comes into view.

"Ashley!"

Almost there…

A hand grabs mine and spins me around, and I glare up at Aiden, my lips forming a thin line. "Go away."

"Spencer says you hung up on her last night when she asked for my number."

"You're an asshole," I tell him, tugging out of his grip, but he has grabbed me again less than a second later. "I knew you liked her, but you've already gone on two dates with her and didn't tell me?!"

"Listen, Ash. Yeah, it started out as a way to ruin your chances, but Spencer's a really nice girl. I like her, and I didn't want you interfering again."

"Well, so do I. And I liked her first!" I retort, knowing I sound immature, but at the moment I don't really care.

"Ash." He gives me that sympathetic look that I got a lot right after my dad died, and I hate it. "She's straight."

"Shut up," I command, pulling away again. "I don't want to talk to you. You can sit with her at lunch, too, if you like her so much." I turn away from him and storm into the classroom without giving him a chance to reply, and even though I am mad at him, I'm pretty sure he knows how much he's hurt me.

* * *

"Ashley, don't you think you're taking this a little too hard? So you're going to lose a thousand bucks. We have plenty more."

I tear my eyes away from Spencer and Aiden, who are sitting together with Madison (who has conveniently chosen _now _to decide that Aiden is no longer a loser), and glare at Kyla instead. "You can't be serious."

Kyla looks taken aback. "What do you mean?"

"I'm not upset about the stupid money. God, Kyla, you're supposed to _get _me." I pick my tray up and storm away from her, and it feels like I'm doing that a lot today, especially after the three times Spencer has tried to talk to me so far, not to mention the whole Aiden incident.

"What am I not getting?" Kyla asks, popping up on my left as I give my tray to one of the waiting lunch ladies.

"Why I'm upset," I spit out, walking quickly to try and get away from her, but she keeps up, even when I leave the lunchroom to take a walk down the halls.

"Then tell me. Why are you upset?"

I clench my fists. "Because he stole Spencer from me."

"But if she wasn't ever yours in the first place, then how could he-?"

"She would've been mine," I insist, cutting her off. "We've been getting along really well. She was going to crack soon."

"Well, if she has to 'crack' in order to be yours, then she's not really yours, anyway," Kyla points out, and I hate that she can be so stupid and still always be right about stuff like this. I sigh, stopping in my tracks, and then turning to rest my back against the lockers. I look over at Kyla, who is watching me carefully.

"You know it wasn't _all _about getting in her pants, right?" I ask her.

"It wasn't? I thought this was about the bet."

"I _just _said I didn't care about losing the money, idiot," I snap, and Kyla flinches. "I just don't want her with Aiden. I want her with me."

"Like…in a relationship?" Kyla questions dubiously.

"I don't know," I reply honestly, sighing. "I just don't want to see her with anyone else. Especially not Aiden. He started talking to her so that he could win a bet, for God's sakes!"

"Oh, yeah," Kyla begins to reply, and I can already hear the sarcasm in her voice. "Who on Earth would try to get someone to like them in order to win a bet?"

I really hate when Kyla makes sense.

* * *

"See you later, babe."

I can hear the sound of Aiden pecking Spencer on the lips, and I swear my heart rips in two. The whole school is buzzing with news about how Aiden Dennison asked Spencer Carlin out during lunch, and she said yes. My talk with Kyla is fresh in my mind, but that doesn't mean I'm going to be all "oh I'm so happy for you now let me stand aside while my heart breaks" around Spencer. This is war. Me against Aiden.

Okay, it's war starting tomorrow. Today I'm still pissed off and hurt and not in the mood to talk to Spencer.

Once Aiden is gone, Spencer and I both continue with our normal business of getting our stuff out of our lockers, and the silence is extremely awkward. "Ashley?" she finally says, hesitantly, and I slam my locker shut without replying, brushing past her and towards stupid Contemporary Literature class.

The bell rings just after everyone is seated, and I can sense that Spencer wants to say something to me as Mrs. Yorke begins to call roll.

"Look, Ashley," she whispers gently, and I don't look at her. "I'm sorry. I didn't know that Aiden never-"

"Ashley Davies."

"Barely here," I reply dryly, but Mrs. Yorke smiles at me.

"Looks like you've decided to bring your book again, Ashley."

I nod, tapping on my textbook to emphasize the fact that it is there. "Yup. No need to share with anyone."

Spencer doesn't try to talk to me again after that. In fact, she doesn't talk to me for the rest of the week, until Friday.

With the weekend on the horizon and three days left until Aiden officially wins the bet, I am putting some books into my locker before Mrs. Yorke's class, when Madison walks up to Spencer and asks her, "Hey, Aiden, Sherry, and I are all going to go hang out at this new club that's opening up Saturday night. You're going with us, right?"

Spencer's gaze flickers over to me for a second, but I am just staring into my locker silently. The idea of Spencer going clubbing with Aiden makes me sick. "Um…no, actually. I'm going to be busy. With Ashley and Kyla."

Excuse me? I do not recall making these so-called plans.

"Aren't we, Ashley?"

I look over at her, trying to hide my surprise, and she shoots me this look that tells me I better go along with it. "Yeah."

"Please don't tell me you're seriously friends with her," Madison deadpans, and although I am completely taken aback by the fact that Spencer has exposed me as her dirty little friendship secret, Spencer looks like she has done it on purpose. I suddenly understand that this is her way of making everything up to me. It's a start.

"Yeah, actually. She's been nothing but nice since I got here, and Kyla's sweet, too. I get along with both of them really well."

"They're losers, and Ashley's-"

"I know Ashley's not straight. The whole school knows it, Madison, thanks to you. But she's still my friend, and I'm going to spend Saturday night with her and Kyla. Alright?"

Madison's eyebrows furrow, like she is processing this, and I can't help but smile softly when Spencer exchanges looks with me. "But…if people see you with her, they'll think you're…like her."

"I'm dating Aiden, and that's their problem, then. C'mon, Ashley. We're going to be late for class." She grabs my wrist and takes my textbook from me, putting it back in my locker and then pulling me off towards our classroom. Once Madison is out of view, she lets go of me, and doesn't say anything.

I let out a soft sigh as we enter Mrs. Yorke's class. "Why did you do that?"

"I owed you," she tells me, and I guess it is a nice answer, but I was looking for something else. I don't know what, specifically, but something else. I force a smile anyway, hoping she can't see through it, and her genuine smile in return proves that she can't. "So…wanna be friends?" she questions, turning in her seat and leaning forward slightly.

I look her up and down playfully for a moment, as though it is a hard decision, then reply, "Like, friends? Or…_friends_?"

She giggles, returning her attention to the front of the room, and as soon as she is not looking at me, my smile fades. I know that to her, it looks like I am okay with just being platonic, and I approve of her dating Aiden now and apparently have thrown away all of those inappropriate thoughts of her and just want to be friends. To Spencer, everything is alright.

To me, nothing is.


	5. Ego

**A/N: Alright, I know I said one a night, but I put chapter four up earlier today and decided that it couldn't hurt to just add another chapter before tomorrow. Plus, the end of this one makes a good cliffhanger to torture you guys with for a day :P**

**Here's chapter five!**

* * *

That night, Friday night, is when it occurs to me that Spencer never specified _what _we were going to do on Saturday night. What reminds me of this is that Kyla walks into my room while I am watching television and asks me, "Hey, Ash, are we going out tonight or what?"

Clubbing. Kyla and I go clubbing on Friday nights.

We could go clubbing on Saturday night. With Spencer. Two days before the four-week deadline.

Oh, this is too perfect.

"Um, I'm actually not feeling too good tonight," I tell her, putting a hand on my stomach and wincing. "I think there was something funny about today's lunch. But…" I pretend to brighten. "Hey! Spencer and I are actually getting along now, and she wanted to hang out with us tomorrow night. Maybe we could just go then, and take her with us?"

Kyla stares at me for a moment, and then rolls her eyes. "Do you really think I'm that stupid?"

I frown, sitting up. "I was hoping. Please, Kyla? Aiden completely screwed me over, so I think I should get a shot at turning the tables. If nothing happens tomorrow night, I'll leave them alone to be the happiest fucking couple on Earth. Spencer's mentioned before that she's never been a real LA club, too, and she actually gave up going to one with Madison, Sherry, and Aiden in order to hang with us. So we could go to a club, too. It'd be perfect."

"Perfect for you to try and get Aiden into a chicken suit," Kyla snorts, and I glare at her. "Alright, relax. Whatever. None of this is any of my business, anyway. If you want to ruin your friendship with Aiden just to have sex with some girl you hardly know, fine with me. But don't come crying to me all upset when both she and Aiden hate you in the morning."

I roll my eyes, trying not to let her get to me. Once she has left the room in a huff, I pull out my phone, dialing Spencer's number. It rings a few times before she answers. "Hello?"

"Hey Spence, it's Ashley. You still want to hang out tomorrow night, right?"

"Of course. You're my best friend."

That throws me for a loop a little bit, because I always thought even though she didn't like Madison, she still considered the head cheerleader to be her best friend. The fact that _I _hold that position instead is bittersweet. Then again, there _is_ the possibility that she just feels guilty about this past week and is lying to make me feel better.

"O-Oh. Um…well, your best friend wants to show you the night life in LA tomorrow, so do you mind going to a club called Ego with Kyla and me? Kyla already said she'd go." Okay, so I was paraphrasing a little bit. Whatever.

"A club?" Spencer repeats, and I can't help grinning at her naivety.

"Yeah, I want to take you to a real club. Alcohol and crazy dancing and all. Are you cool with that? I promise I can protect you," I tease, and I hear her scoff on the other end.

"I can take care of myself," she insists. "I'll definitely go, but you'll have to pick me up at my house pretty late at night. My parents wouldn't be okay with me going, so I'll have to sneak out."

"Looks like someone has a naughty side, after all," I point out.

"Who, you?" she jokes, and before I can reply, she says, "Oh, Aiden's here. He's having dinner with my family tonight. I'll see you tomorrow, alright Ash?"

"Yeah. Sure."

She hangs up, and I am left to be pissed off that a great conversation with Spencer can be ruined with the mention of just one name.

* * *

"Which one's sexier?" I ask, holding up two shirts in front of Kyla. She barely glances at them.

"The blue one."

I toss the blue shirt to the side and head into my closet to change into the red. "Reverse psychology, Kyla," I call to her. "Reverse psychology."

I have a full-length mirror in my closet, and I look extremely sexy, if I do say so myself. I have on my usual clubbing attire: a short skirt and a shirt with a low neckline, but I also spent nearly forty-five minutes on my makeup and it has paid off. Plus I painted my fingernails and toenails this really dark red to give them that kind of dark sex appeal, and curled my hair so that it is even more curly than usual. I don't think I've ever put this much effort into looking good before. Kyla is unfazed, though. I think she's more focused on the reason I'm doing all this: to get Spencer interested after she's had a decent amount of alcohol.

Okay, if I start to think about what I'm about to do too much, then I start to get a little disgusted. So I push thoughts of having sex with Drunk Spencer to the back of my mind and focus on coaxing Kyla into the car so that we can go pick Sober Spencer up.

Before I can pull up to her driveway, I see Spencer creeping across her front yard towards my car. I guess she was watching for us.

The second she has slid into the back seat and slammed the door behind her, I step on the gas, and we are on our way to Ego.

"Wow, you two look really pretty," Spencer compliments us, and when I look into the rear-view mirror, I see that her eyes are lingering on me. I try hard not to smile, and even harder not to compliment her back. I have to play the role of "perfectly innocent best friend" until the time is right.

Spencer looks amazing, but she always does, so it's not a surprise. Kyla doesn't say anything for the entire car ride to the club, so Spencer and I make small talk, and I purposely steer her away from the subject of Aiden or Madison any time she gets too close. I don't think she notices.

"Here we are," I announce, parking next to the club, and as soon as I am out of the car, I can hear and feel the base pumping from inside Ego. Spencer stares at the building with wide eyes, and I laugh at her, grabbing her wrist and pulling her forward. Kyla follows behind us, subdued, and I have to admit that she is being a major mood-killer. I'm sure Spencer and I can lose her once we get inside.

Kyla and I are regulars, so we can get alcohol pretty easily even though we are underage, and I tell the barman to start a tab and give Spencer whatever she wants. After that, I leave her to her own devices for a little bit, not wanting to seem too clingy, and head for the dance floor, my eyes already sweeping the semi-familiar crowd for a hot girl to dance with. Sure, Spencer matters more to me than anyone else here, but it'd be suspicious of me to not go along with my normal routine. Besides the sex with random girls, of course. I haven't done that since I met Spencer. I haven't had sex with _anyone _since I met Spencer. But tonight's my lucky night. I can feel it.

Remember that girl I took against the wall the last time I _did _have sex with anyone? I can see her right now, dancing in the middle of the crowd, her hands in her hair and her skirt riding up so I can almost see her panties. She was completely drunk when we did it, so I know she won't remember me. She's a safe choice to dance with.

Sometimes it scares me how much I know about these kinds of situations. It makes me wonder about how many other girls or guys are as familiar with this routine as I am, and how many of them are going to be looking at _Spencer _throughout the night. It makes me want to go back and find her and make sure she's okay, but I have to be calm and collected, and so I decide that Kyla would never just leave her alone, so she is probably fine.

I focus my attention on this girl, grinning at her as she presses herself up against me, dancing like I used to dance with girls I didn't know. It isn't the same anymore, though. My smile feels fake. And I can't stop thinking about Spencer and what she is doing.

Almost like she is answering my prayers, Spencer comes stumbling towards me out of nowhere, her eyes unfocused and a silly smile on her face. It's hardly been fifteen minutes and she's already hammered.

The other girl has already gone off to go dance with someone else, and I smile for real this time, grabbing Spencer's hand and pulling her to me. "You're drunk," I tell her, and she giggles, pressing her forehead to my shoulder and nodding her agreement.

"You're Ashley," she slurs, and I talk to her some more as we just stand there in the middle of the dance floor, trying to get a feel for how drunk she is.

"What's two plus two, Spence?"

"Mmm," she murmurs, like she is thinking of a delicious food, and I decide that yeah, she's gone.

"Want me to show you how to dance?" I whisper in her ear, and she shivers. God, I love this. I love having this effect on her, because it's the effect she _always _has on me. "First, I have to turn you around like this." I separate us slightly, and she raises her eyes to look at my face as my hands come to rest on her hips. I completely forget about turning her around.

"You look really pretty, Ash," she whispers, and I can hardly hear her over the noise of the music and the people. "You always look pretty."

"Yeah?" I ask, encouraging her, wanting to hear more. I should've gotten Spencer drunk forever ago.

"Yeah," she breathes out, her eyes going in and out of focus. "I really like you. I like…you're pretty." I grin because Spencer is clearly an adorable drunk, but it quickly disappears as she lifts a finger and trails it down my cheek, her skin brushing mine lightly. "Do you like me?"

"Yeah." It's not like she'll remember this in the morning, anyway. I swallow heavily as her finger slips to below my chin, my eyes locking with her dark blue ones. I can't tell what has darkened them, the alcohol or arousal. I hope it's both. "I never _didn't _like you."

She bites her lip cutely at that, the shade of blue in her eyes lightening slightly as she smiles. "Good."

There is a bit of intelligence coming back into her expression, and I wonder if she is beginning to sober up already. The bar is all the way across the club, though, and besides, I can think of a more fun way to get her back into that haze. So I follow through with my earlier motion of spinning her around, then whisper in her ear, "I'll show you how we dance in LA." I pull her back against me, and her breath hitches slightly as my arms slide around her, holding her in place as we slowly find the beat of the techno song that is now playing.

I'm used to dancing with girls that know what they're doing even when they're drunk, so dancing with Spencer is a completely different experience. Her movements are already unsure and hesitant because she has probably never gone clubbing before, and when you throw in that she's drunk, she basically has no clue. It's not a turn-off, though. It's actually kind of cute. I never thought I'd be attracted to girls like that, the cute and innocent ones, but here I am, falling harder for one than I've ever fallen for anyone else, even Aiden.

Aiden.

Well, that just rained on my parade. I hadn't thought of him once since we'd gotten here, and it has to happen now, while I am grinding on his girlfriend and she's practically panting in front of me.

_"Forget about him," _I tell myself, and Spencer lets out a soft moan as my thigh slips between her legs. All thoughts of Aiden are gone in a billionth of a second. Even if Spencer is dating him, she is mine tonight. Her body quivering against mine as I grind my thigh between her legs is proof, and her whimper is like the signature on an invisible contract. "Do you want me to do that again?" I whisper in her ear, and while under normal circumstances, I would be saying that to be sexy, but in this case, I just really want to know before I do anything else.

Spencer tilts her head back and presses herself more firmly against me, so I take that as an affirmative and repeat the motion, disguising it as dancing in a maneuver that takes a lot of practice. I _have _had a lot of practice, but I almost feel like it has all been some kind of divine preparation for this moment. For me and Spencer. "A-Ash!" she gasps out on a particular grind that I guess feels better than all of the others, and I can't describe what that feels like, to know that she is high on alcohol and lust and _my _name still comes out of her mouth. Not Aiden's. Mine.

Her hands reach back and find my hips, helping pull me tighter against her as she grinds back against me. That's enough to actually get to me physically, and I withdraw my knee from between her legs, taking note of her whimper before I spin her around so that she is facing me again. I need to see her face while I'm doing this, need to look into her eyes…

What I thought would be a good idea turns out to be an awful one. I guess I could look at this entire situation, the big picture, and maybe describe it that way, but that's not what I'm talking about. I'm just talking about looking into her eyes, looking at her face.

Her cheeks are pink and flushed from the alcohol and from what I've been doing to her, her lips are parted slightly to let out sharp puffs of breath, and her eyes…her eyes are what get me. They're fluttering open and closed every few seconds, dark blue with what I know is lust, and they're still so incredibly unfocused. As much as I want her, I don't want my first intimate moment with Spencer to be like this. I don't want her to ever be dancing and flirting drunkenly with _anyone_ in some dirty club, including me.

I can't do this.


	6. Waking Up Is Hard to Do

**A/N: This chapter ends on a bad note, but don't worry, a lot happens next chapter to turn things around. Hope this was worth the wait!**

* * *

"Ash," she murmurs, leaning in, and I barely have time to register that she is going to kiss me before my hand is pressed against her shoulder, forcing her away.

"Don't, Spencer. You're drunk."

"And you're hot," she tells me, her tone still breathy. "And sexy and…and I'm so we-"

I cover her mouth quickly, not wanting to hear what else she had been about to say. I am not even thinking about how Kyla had disapproved of me bringing her here, or about how Madison will probably tease Spencer for hanging out with me, or even about how upset Aiden would be to know his girlfriend practically cheated on him with his best friend. This is just about Spencer and me. "I need to get you home," I tell her, but she is persistent, pushing my hand away from her mouth.

"You don't want me," she accuses, and I feel stupid for even considering that maybe she is sobering up. She is more drunk than Kyla was the last time she passed out in that one booth.

Right about now, I'm definitely hoping that Kyla hasn't been drinking tonight. I can't handle the both of them.

"C'mon, Spence. I need to take you home."

"Fuck you," she spits out, and I jump a little, hurt at what she's said and surprised that she just cursed like that. "You…you got me all…" I feel her sway as I lead her through the crowd, and tighten my grip on her hand, slowing our pace a little without turning around. "…And didn't even…you took your leg away before…" She stops in place suddenly, nearly yanking me back in the process, and I turn around to see what is wrong just in time to see her lean forward and puke all over the dance floor.

Party over.

It doesn't take long to find Kyla, who is completely sober and bearing an "I told you so" expression on her face as I throw money down on the bar. We both proceed to support Spencer from either side as we make our way back to the car.

"Told you this was a bad idea," Kyla mutters, groaning under the effort of holding Spencer up.

"Not now, Kyla," I retort. "We can't bring her home like this."

"So she stays at our house?" Kyla suggests, having mercy on me, and I nod my agreement.

"She'll probably get in trouble for sneaking out and staying over at a friend's house without permission, but that's better than getting in trouble for sneaking out and coming home wasted," I rationalize, and Kyla grunts her affirmation. Spencer abruptly grows heavier as she loses consciousness completely, turning into dead weight, but luckily, we are only a few feet away from the car, and it doesn't take too long to get her there and lay her down in the back seat. Kyla offers to drive, and I ride in the backseat with Spencer's head in my lap, staring down at her closed eyes. Something tells me I'll never forget the way they looked ten minutes ago.

* * *

I wake up the next morning to the sound of a surprised squeak and a loud thump, followed by a long bout of rustling as my comforter is yanked off of my bed, and then heavy breathing. When my eyes flutter open and I blink the sleep out of my eyes, the first thing I am faced with is a red-faced Spencer, standing up at the edge of my bed and staring back at me while she is all tangled up in my blanket. "Hey, Spence," I mumble, rubbing at my eyes as I sit up slowly. "Feeling better?" I open my eyes again to see her eyes darting from my pajamas, to her own fully-clothed body, and then I remember what happened last night. My comfortable half-smile fades slightly, but I catch myself in time, laughing instead. "Oh, you think something happened last night?"

She stares at me for a long moment, and then finally releases her grip on the blanket, letting it fall to the floor in a pile. "Didn't it? Didn't something happen?"

My eyebrows furrow. How much does she remember? "You got so drunk that you threw up, and Kyla and I had to practically drag you to the car," I offer. "But that's totally normal for your first time." She looks relieved, and I allow myself to frown. "Did you think something happened?"

Spencer looks embarrassed for a moment, then gestures towards my bed. "Well…I mean…I just…I woke up next to you and in your bed, so…"

"So we couldn't bring you home wasted, and there are only two bedrooms here. It was either stick you on the couch, or in a bed with one of us, because Kyla and I didn't want to sleep on the couch either."

"Oh," she replies lamely, looking around my bedroom for a moment. "Your room's nice." Oh, that's right. This is her first time here.

"Yeah." She already knows about the trust fund. I told her the first time she got a glimpse at my grades a couple of weeks ago. She'd been wondering why I never try in school. Plus, with the car I have, it's painfully obvious I have money. I examine the room with her for a moment, awkwardly, then my gaze moves back to her, and we look at each other. "Did you really think I'd take advantage of you while you were drunk?" I ask suddenly, the idea just now popping into my head. Okay, so I _did _take advantage of her while she was drunk. But she'd been suggesting we had sex.

"No!" she defends quickly, realizing she's offended me. "I…well, I'm assuming that you drank last night, too, so if we'd both been drunk…"

That lessens the blow to my integrity a little bit, and the corner of my mouth quirks upward. "So I can finally stick you in one of those categories I mentioned, Spence. You just admitted you'd experiment if you were drunk."

"Did not," she retorts, crossing her arms. "I just-"

"Wouldn't have been surprised if we'd slept together last night?" I am amused. She's embarrassed.

"No…I mean…yes…but not because you're a girl. Just because you're you and you like girls and we're such good friends and all. You know. I wouldn't just sleep with any girl."

"I'm special?" I tease, and she flushes for a moment, rolling her eyes.

"Go ahead, Ash. Feel free to flatter yourself."

"Okay."

We are both quiet for a moment, and then she sits down on the edge of my bed, looking over at me carefully. "I feel like you're not telling me something." Why does she have to be so damn perceptive? "Did something else happen last night?"

I debate whether or not to tell her the truth for at least ten long seconds, and I can tell she knows I am thinking something over. Finally, I shake my head. "No. You just drank, blew chunks, and we went home."

"You're lying. Just tell me what happened. Did I do something? Did I kiss someone?" she guesses, and I shake my head dumbly.

"Wait, which question are you answering?"

"You didn't kiss anyone," I tell her, not sure how much of the truth I'm going to tell now and how much I'm going to leave out.

"But I did something. I got drunk and did something stupid, didn't I?" She sighed. "I knew something like that would happen. I almost warned you not to let me drink too much, but I just got so excited when we got there and I totally forgot and now-"

"It wasn't stupid," I interrupt flatly, and she looks over at me.

"So I did do something, then."

"Look, can we just forget about-"

"No. If I screwed up somehow, I need to go ahead and tell Aiden. He deserves my honesty, so if I cheated on him, he needs to know how and under what circumstances, and with whom."

I lean forward, letting out a deep sigh and putting my head in my hands. "Aiden doesn't deserve to know shit," I mutter, and I feel the weight on the bed shift a little as Spencer leans toward me.

"What?" she asks.

"Nothing."

"No, not nothing. You said something about Aiden."

I look up suddenly, anger taking over as my eyes focus in on hers. "And you said absolutely _nothing _about him last night, you know that? Even when you were totally hammered, you remembered _my _name and told me _I _was pretty and said _my _name when…" I trail off, because I have no idea how to finish that sentence, and even if I did, I wouldn't. "If you like Aiden so much, why weren't you thinking about him when you were drunk and I…I mean, as drunk as you were, you probably couldn't even tell the difference, but you still said my name."

"What are we talking about?" Spencer asks me incredulously, her voice quiet and her eyes wide. "I thought you said we didn't kiss."

"We didn't."

"And we didn't have sex."

"We didn't," I repeat. "We just…danced once or something, and then you puked and we left."

"Okay, well every time I ask you about what happened, there's one more event in the story that wasn't in there the last time. So are you sure there isn't anything more to add?"

"How much detail could you possibly want?" I growl out, angry that she doesn't know that "dancing" is like club code for "practically screwing on the dance floor". There's no way I'm explaining it to her.

"I just want to know what happened."

"Well, you go ahead and go to school tomorrow and tell Madison that you got drunk and danced with me at a club, and she'll tell you what happened, okay?"

"Stop it, Ashley. Do you have any idea how scary it is to not remember a whole night of your life?"

I laugh sarcastically. "No, Spencer, I have absolutely no experience with drinking."

She groans, rubbing her temples, then says, "Just tell me the truth."

Something inside of me snaps. "Alright," I begin calmly. "You want the truth? Here's the truth, from the very beginning. I used to go to clubs all the time and have sex with random girls. You showed up, I thought you were cute, and I stopped having sex with other girls because…I don't know, I just couldn't do it anymore. But I told Kyla and Aiden that sexual orientation didn't matter and that I figured I could get you to sleep with me in less than four weeks. That was…three weeks and six days ago, today. So Aiden and I made a bet on it, and _that's _why he started talking to you at first, to get you to like him so I would lose, and it's also why I started flirting with you so much. But then we both started actually liking you, a lot, and now it's not even about the bet anymore, it's just about both of us liking you and wanting to be with you. Last night was like my last shot to get back at Aiden for…I don't know, I felt like he was taking you from me because I was into you way before he was. But yeah. The plan was for you to get drunk enough that you'd be like all of those other girls who just sleep with whoever when they're drunk. Then I'd get to sleep with you, it'd break Aiden's heart, and I'd win the bet, too. But then I ended up promising Kyla that if nothing happened between us last night, I'd leave you and Aiden alone. So, let's just pretend nothing did, and I can follow through with that. You won't have to worry about me messing with you anymore." I finally let myself look at her.

Her fists are clenched at her sides and her face is red, and she closes her eyes the second mine met them, letting out a deep breath. "I am so furious right now," she manages to get out, and even her calm tone makes me wince. It is like watching a volcano prepare to explode. "But I want you to tell me what happened last night."

"I don't-"

"Ashley."

I shut my eyes, the explanation coming out in a rush. "I didn't want to seem too clingy so I left you alone with free access to the bar. I went to go dance with some girl and you showed up a few minutes later, completely out of it, and started leaning on me and calling me pretty and saying you liked me and…and then we started dancing and…I mean, you know what _dancing's _like, right? Like, club dancing? Really close up and intimate and there's grinding and…and pretty soon my thigh was between your legs and you were moaning _my _name and I didn't want to stop but then I looked into your eyes and I knew I couldn't go through with it anymore. Then you got pissed off at me for stopping and-"

Spencer cut me off there, laughing dryly. "Okay, I was having trouble believing you at the dancing part, but there's no way any of the other stuff is true. You're full of shit, Ashley."

I fall silent, glaring back at her, and then abruptly yell, "KYLA!"

My half-sister is in the room in a second, looking around like she thinks there might be a fire. Instead, she finds Spencer and me arguing in our pajamas.

"She asked for the truth, and I was trying to tell her, but she doesn't believe me," I explain. "Tell her I'm telling the truth."

"About last night?" Kyla asks, and I can tell she is weighing her options. "Well, what's the argument about? I didn't see much. I just saw you throw up, Spence. And I heard you yelling at Ashley. Your exact words were 'fuck you', and then you were slurring all these broken phrases. There was something about not wanting Ashley to take her leg away, but I didn't really get it at the time." She pauses, blinking suddenly, then looks over at me as she wrinkles her nose. "Geez, Ash, really? While you two were _dancing_?"

I ignore her, looking back over at Spencer. "See? It's true. If it had been up to you, we would've had sex. I shouldn't have gotten you drunk, and I shouldn't have done like a hundred other things that I did, but there was a point last night where you wanted to have sex with me. And I want to know why. Why did you say my name when there were a thousand other names you could've said, including your boyfriend's?"

"Maybe because you were the one doing all that stuff to me?" Spencer suggests, using sarcasm to cover up her embarrassment, and I see right through it.

"That's contradictory," I point out, glad I am thinking more clearly than she is. She probably has an awful hangover. "That means you'd have to have been thinking rationally enough to know it was me, and you didn't stop me. So either you knew it was me and didn't stop me, or you didn't know it was me and said _my _name while for all you knew, Aiden could've been the one touching you. So, which is it?"

"Yeah, pick one," Kyla encourages, switching sides completely for some reason. Last night, she was all about Spencer and I having nothing to do with each other.

Even though I am glad Kyla isn't angry at me for last night, I still look over at her, raising an eyebrow. "Hey, Kyla, do you think you could leave us alone for a minute?" I ask, and she pulls a face, but leaves the room. She'll probably be listening in, anyway, but I really just don't need her input right now. I turn back to Spencer, who seriously looks like she could punch me in the face right now. "Look. I know you're angry. But you told me to tell you the truth, so I did. And now I'm asking you to do the same."

Spencer is silent for a moment, and finally leans over, so that our faces are much closer and she is at my eye-level. "Don't ever talk to me again," she says evenly, then straightens up and leaves the room. I can hear her asking Kyla for a ride home in my car, and a few seconds later, the front door opens and then slams shut.


	7. Imagine Me and You

**A/N: Introducing...the first chapter in forever that actually ends on a _good _note! (Whoo.)**

**Enjoy the Spashleyness while it lasts, because pretty soon...nah, I'm totally kidding. It mostly just gets better from here. Or does it? Hmm...**

* * *

I mope all Sunday, and Kyla brings out the chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream to try and cheer me up. By two in the afternoon, we have watched two movies together and the ice cream is almost gone. Kyla and I are snuggled under a blanket together until she gets up to put the third movie in. "Alright, so we've already watched _Finding Nemo _and _Juno_, and you're still a big blob of depression, so maybe we should watch a love story?"

"Doesn't _Juno _count?" I argue.

"No, it just has a happy ending where two people get together. It isn't really a love story." She digs through the back of my movie collection, pulling out a few more DVDs and examining them. "Hey, what about this one? It's called _Imagine Me and You_. It's a love story, _and _it's two girls. Perfect!"

"I know what it is, Kyla," I deadpan. "I own the movie. And I don't want to watch a love story anyway. Let's watch something sad."

"No, look. It's about love at first sight, isn't it? It's romantic. It'll cheer you up." She puts the DVD in.

Ten minutes later, she has to take it out because I have cried through the first eight minutes of the movie.

* * *

"Eight-hundred, nine-hundred, one-thousand," I finish, placing the last bill in Aiden's hand. He has obviously gotten over our last argument now that I'm giving him one-thousand dollars, and he has this grin on his face that I'd really like to slap off, but slapping someone in the middle of a lunchroom is never a good idea. You never know what kind of crazy stuff could get started. Instead, I ask, "Have you seen Spencer today?"

Aiden shrugs. "No, actually. She was supposed to meet me this morning but I never saw her, and I can't find her between classes either." His grin returns as he puts the money in his pocket. "But don't try to change the subject. So you're telling me that you and Kyla took her out to a club Saturday night, she got completely smashed, and _still _wouldn't sleep with you?"

That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Aiden's still my friend, after all. I hadn't been trying to ruin his relationship with Spencer when I told her the truth, actually. She just asked for the truth, and I was pissed off and frustrated, so I gave it to her.

I shrug. "Yeah. Guess she must really like you or something." If I can't save my own relationship with Spencer, I might as well save Aiden's. So I'm not going to tell him that by the end of the night, I was actually the one telling Spencer no. He thinks it's the other way around.

We turn to head out of the lunch line and towards our table (I guess Aiden is sitting with me now that he's forgiven me), and we are just about to sit down when Aiden is spun around. I straighten up in time to see Spencer glare at him as she shoves her hand into one of his pockets. Out comes the money, which she waves around in his face for a moment, before throwing it down onto the floor. He looks shocked, then bends over to pick it up, and I wince, almost feeling sorry for him because I think everyone witnessing this knows that is a huge mistake.

He barely has time to straighten up before Spencer slaps him, just like I wanted to. The whole lunchroom is watching them now. "So Ashley was telling the truth, then," she hisses to Aiden, and I see him clench his fists as soon as that sentence is out of her mouth. Crap. "You started talking to me so you could win money? You're just as bad as she is. But at least Ashley had the decency to tell me what was going on, and to throw your stupid bet away at the last minute because she thought I was more important than that. We're over, Aiden."

She storms away without even looking at me, and I'm trying to figure out where she's at with me right now, because she was angry yesterday but sort of semi stuck up for me today.

At least Aiden's feelings towards me are clear, because he's glaring at me like he wants to kill me. Which he probably does. Kyla even looks scared for me. "You told her about our bet?" he asks quietly.

"I thought she deserved to know," I reply calmly, and I think my tone sets him off even more.

"Bull shit, Ashley! This is _exactly _what you were hoping would happen, isn't it?"

"No, actually."

"You see someone, and if you're interested enough, you will ruin _anyone's _life to get to them. Even one of your best friend's."

"Don't you think you're being a bit too dra-?"

"What the hell did she mean, anyway? You threw our bet away?" He snorts. "It wouldn't surprise me: you probably had her in the palm of your hand. That's all you do, manipulate and control people until they do whatever you want them to do."

"Okay, but you weren't even there, so I don't really think you have a right to just-"

"Fuck you, Ashley," he spits out, and as he stomps away, I am thinking that too many people have said that to me lately. I turn back to Kyla with a sigh.

"Nobody listens to anything I have to say anymore."

"You do tend to get ignored sometimes," she admits with a shrug, and I am silent for a moment, just mulling over everything that's happened.

"Do you think she ever liked me?" I finally ask. "She used to blush around me a lot, and she let me hold her hand in class once for like five seconds or something."

Kyla looks amused for a moment, and I see a brief flash of a smile before she goes back to picking at her food. "Probably. Nobody can resist Ashley Davies."

I have an awesome sister.

* * *

After lunch is locker time with Spencer, but I guess she must have went to her locker after she stormed out of the lunch room, so it is just me this time.

"That was quite a show," comes Madison's voice from behind me, and I just sigh, not in the mood to talk to her.

"Yup."

"So…I was going to kick Spencer off the squad, but now that she's not friends with you anymore, I think she can stay on. Just thought I'd let you know."

I close my locker, then turn around to face her. "Why are you here? Spencer's obviously already gone to class."

Madison smirks. "Are you sure about that? Because I saw her heading towards the gym with Aiden. They're skipping class together."

"Oh?" I ask, quirking an eyebrow as I lift my backpack up over my shoulder. Then I proceed to head towards the gym, instead of towards my next class.

"Hey!" Madison calls after me. "That doesn't mean you can go after them!"

"Says who?"

Fortunately, Madison doesn't come after me, and I am at the gym just before the bell rings, which officially makes me late. Not that I care.

I am half-expecting to walk in and see Aiden and Spencer having make-up sex or something (have they had sex yet?), and so it is a pleasant surprise to see Spencer all by herself instead of with Aiden, sitting down with her back against a wall and her knees drawn to her chest. She looks over at me as I enter, looking too tired to argue with me. That's a good thing, though, because I don't want to argue with her, either. "Skipping's not allowed, you know," I tell her, forcing a smile as I sit down next to her on the ground.

"What are you doing here?" she mumbles.

"Madison said you came here with Aiden. But…" I look around. "I don't really see him anywhere."

"We fought again and he left. I didn't feel like going to class."

"So…you got to talk to him, then."

"Mhmm." She sighs. "We're not getting back together, which I'm sure you'll be happy to know."

Yeah, I'm happy about it. But I'm not happy seeing her like this. "I didn't mean to break you two up."

"Well, what did you think was going to happen?" she asks, glaring at me. "That I was going to be fine with my boyfriend getting paid money for keeping me from sleeping with you?"

"No, but…" I sigh. "I guess I wasn't thinking at all. You wanted the truth, so I gave it to you. And I know you probably hate me now but-"

Spencer scoffs, looking over at me. Her expression has softened a little. "I don't _hate _you, Ash. I was just...hung over and scared and angry yesterday. And not even at you, at myself, for…" She shakes her head. "Never mind."

"For what?" I press, wondering why she would be angry at herself. For getting drunk during her first time at a club? "It's okay, you know? It's normal for everyone to get a little…overwhelmed the first time they go clubbing. Especially if they're not used to drinking."

"No, it's not that," Spencer groans out, tilting her head back so that it is resting against the wall while she stares up at the ceiling. "I just…I tried _so _hard to like Aiden, you know? But it didn't even hurt, breaking up with him. What hurt was that it felt like he was pretending to like me. After what he told me a few minutes ago, though, and from what you've told me before, I know that he wasn't pretending. But I was. I didn't tell him that, of course. He thinks we're staying broken up because I'm mad about the bet."

"I thought you said he was cute, though? You kept telling me about how you liked him and then you asked me for his number and-"

"He _was _cute. And I thought I did like him. But it was just…different from what I expected. I don't know. I just didn't really like being with him. I avoided him sometimes, and I _hated _lunch with him and Sherry and Madison."

"Well, that's understandable," I admit. "Nothing's fun when Madison and Sherry are around."

"No, you don't get it." I didn't even know there was anything _to _get. So she doesn't want to date Aiden. Neither do I. It's normal. "It's… I'm _supposed _to like being with him, you know? I mean, _you _don't know, because you're-"

She cuts herself off to close her eyes and groan again, and my eyebrows furrow.

"Are we talking about the same thing here, Spence? Because I'm talking about you just finding _Aiden_ gross, not…_all _of them…"

This is followed by the most awkward silence I have ever experienced, and Spencer breaks it first. "I just…I _can't_, you know? But you _don't _know, because you _can_."

My heart is going haywire at the prospect of what she is insinuating, but on the surface, I'm calm. "You can be whatever you want to be, Spence." I put a hand on her arm, but she pushes it away. I try not to look too hurt.

"Don't try to act like you understand."

That makes me a little angry. "You don't think I went through exactly what you're going through right now? It wasn't a picnic, you know. Everyone at school made fun of me for it. They still do."

"And I don't want that to happen to me," Spencer tells me.

"Maybe it won't," I suggest, trying to make her feel better. "What makes you think you're…_you know_…anyway? Okay, so you don't like Aiden, and you think most boys are gross. That could just be because you aren't ready to date yet. You flirted with me when you were drunk, which is totally excusable when you really think about it, since you were drunk anyway. And that's the only evidence there really is, so this could all just be a fluke." I don't believe half of what I'm saying, but at this point, I just want her to be happy again.

"No," Spencer disagrees, shaking her head. "There's something else. I tried to ignore it, or brush it off, or…I don't know, but…" She trails off, and I wait patiently for her to finish, realizing that this is one of those things that Spencer can only coax out of herself. It's not something I can get her to say.

I shift in my seat while I wait for her to finish her mental argument, matching her position by pulling my knees up to my chest and staring straight ahead at the opposite wall of the gym. I'm glad there's no gym class this period or this would be seriously weird, she and I sitting here like this.

Spencer actually being gay is hard for me to fathom. This whole time, I thought I was working with a straight girl who could possibly be a little flexible if she really wanted to be. But actually _gay_. I mean, even if she is gay, it doesn't mean she'll like me, but I certainly wouldn't mind if she did. In fact, I'd be ecstatic. And mind-blown. And a little bit pissed off that she didn't tell me sooner. But that's one stereotype I hate: that just because someone is gay, they like every single person of the same gender, no matter who it is. And that's totally not true. So if Spencer turns out to be gay, I'd never assume she likes me. I'd hope, but I'd never assume.

"Whatever it is," I finally say, deciding maybe she does need some input from me after all, "it's not going to affect what I think of you in any kind of negative way at all. You know that, right?"

She nods without looking at me, and it seems like I have said the exact thing she wanted to hear, but at the same time, I think I have just made her lose her nerve, because she stands up, forcing a smile as she offers me her hand. "Maybe I'll tell you later."

"Okay," I agree, not wanting to push her into anything, and once I am up on my feet, we look at each other awkwardly for a moment. I scratch my head. "So…um, do you want to skip for the rest of today? We could just get my car and go, and nobody would ever notice."

"I don't know. Where would we go?"

"We could go bowling," I suggest with a grin, already pulling her out of the gym and towards the school parking lot by the time she gets a response out.

"Okay."

I let go of her wrist once we get to my car, leaning against the driver's side door for a moment, watching her. "So…" I say carefully. "You might be gay?" She avoids my eyes, looking embarrassed, and it occurs to me that _I _should be the embarrassed one. I basically poured my heart out to her Sunday morning. She knows how I feel about her and how I got up to that point. But she's still willing to skip school with me.

I grin at her to let her know that I'm okay with whatever she wants to say or not say, unlocking the doors to my car. We get in, and pretty soon we're on the highway again, with the top of my Porsche down and the wind in our faces. It feels just like it did the first time we did this, back when things were much simpler, when I thought she was cute and we were just getting to know each other. Before she had that stupid fling with Aiden.

"How does it feel, being gay?" she asks me as she tilts her head back and closes her eyes, letting one of her arms hang out to the side. The wind pushes it back slightly, and she stretches her fingers apart, letting the air blow through the spaces between them. I have to remind myself to pay attention to the road.

"It's nice," is all I can really say. She laughs for some reason.

"Thought you weren't into labels."

I roll my eyes. "We both know I'm gay, Spence. I was just trying to make a point. People shouldn't have signs stuck up on their foreheads unless they want them there."

"So you'd want a sign that says 'I'm gay' stuck to your forehead?" she asks, amused.

I glance over at her. "I guess that depends on who'd be reading it."


	8. A Change of Heart?

**A/N: New chapter! And...well, that's really all I've got to say right now. **

**Er...I don't own South of Nowhere. **

* * *

When we've finished our game of bowling, and I have done all of my rolls without Spencer's help (and lost miserably), I plop down next to Spencer, who is sipping on a Sprite that she insisted on buying with her own money. She also paid for our shoes and our game. I'm planning on sneaking money into her purse later on. "So, Spencer Carlin. Tell me something I don't know about you," I command, crossing one of my legs over the other and trying not to stare at my ugly bowling shoes.

She swallows her drink, pauses, and then says, "I have an adopted brother named Clay. He's Glen's age, and he went to a college across the country so I haven't seen him since summer. He should be back for Christmas next month, though." She looks over at me. "What about you? You seem like you'd have a lot of secrets. Not that Clay's a secret, but…you get what I mean."

"Well…" I debate with what to tell her, since although we are friends, there are only a few select facts we know about each other. "Like what?"

"I don't know. Anything." She grins suddenly, and I can sense the playfulness radiating off of her. Is that even possible? Apparently. "Tell me what you thought of me when you first saw me."

I wrinkle my nose. "No, you don't want to know that."

"Sure I do." She leans in close, then whispers, "You were thinking about having sex with me, weren't you?"

I flush, wondering if maybe Sprite isn't the only thing in her drink. "Spencer…" I warn, my cheeks going pinker, and she notices them.

"I'm right, aren't I?" she teases, trailing a finger down my arm, and the atmosphere has suddenly changed completely. It's way too hot in here. "I remember the first time I looked at you, and you looked back. Your eyes were all dark, kind of like they are now." She leans in just a little closer, and I swallow, convinced she's just messing with me, but then her face inches forward and she shifts towards me in her seat.

Something makes me push her away before she can kiss me, and I blurt out, "Stop it, Spencer. I don't want to just be your little experiment."

Whoa, where did that come from? I've been trying to be her little experiment for the past five weeks, now. It's practically been my life goal since she got here.

Spencer looks just as surprised as I feel, and she blinks rapidly for a moment, then sets her drink down next to her, staring at me. "You don't?"

Now that I have actually said it out loud, it doesn't feel like something I need to take back. It feels like something I should've said a long time ago. "No, I don't." Yeah, she knows I like her, and yeah, she knows I want to have sex with her. But this changes everything. It almost sounds like I want a relationship. It _does _sound like I want a relationship. "I don't want to be the first girl you kiss if it's not going to mean something."

Her eyes search mine for a moment, and I feel more vulnerable than I ever have before. "You don't?" she repeats quietly, and all I can do is shake my head and swallow anxiously. I really don't see how we can go back to normal after this.

I feel her tug on my hand, and then her arms are wrapped around me and she is hugging me tightly even though our positions make it hard to do. I can smell her shampoo.

"That's all I really wanted, you know," she mutters into my shoulder, and my mind is a little hazy at the moment with her body pressed against mine and my face in her hair. Plus I'm a little dumbfounded that she is being this intimate with me, even though she knows how I feel. She knows _exactly _how I feel. "I really like you, Ash," she adds just as softly, and I am reminded of when she said those exact words to me while we were dancing at Ego and she was drunk.

"Is your drink spiked?" I ask apprehensively, and I can feel her body shaking against me as she laughs.

"I'm totally sober. Promise."

"Okay." I surprise myself, actually, because at the moment, I'm not thinking about what this hug means or whether or not Spencer likes me the way I like her. Right now, I just know that she needs a friend.

* * *

"So what's it like?"

I look over at Spencer quizzically, releasing the straw of the milkshake in my hand so that I can speak. After bowling, Spencer and I decided to buy a couple of milkshakes and go for a walk for a while. "What's what like?"

"You know…dating girls."

I laugh, and Spencer looks embarrassed. "Sorry," I tell her quickly. "That's not why I was laughing. I just…I don't really know what it's like to date girls. I mean, _really _date them." I shrug. "I've had a few flings and plenty of one-night stands, but no real relationships." I grin at her, taking a quick sip of my milkshake before I add, "I can tell you what it's like to _sleep_ with girls, though."

Spencer scoffs, spotting a bench in the distance and heading towards it. I follow behind her obediently, and sit down next to her on it a moment later. "No thanks, I'm good." We are both silent for a while, drinking our milkshakes, and Spencer eventually asks, "How did you know you were gay?"

I furrow my eyebrows, trying to think back to three years ago. "How did I know I was gay…?" I clear my throat. "It's kind of a long story."

"We don't have anything else to do."

I raise an eyebrow, then nod, taking a deep breath."Well, I was dating Aiden at the time, and I realized that even though I loved him, I'd never really been that into our relationship. And Aiden and I always got along really well and were really good friends; he was even my best friend at the time. So I didn't know why I wasn't that interested, even when things got really serious between us. Then he got me pregnant, so I felt like I _had _to be with him, and after I miscarried, I just felt like I wasn't obligated anymore, so I ended it."

I take a long drink from my milkshake, until it makes that weird slurpy noise that means I've reached the bottom. "And while we were dating, we'd be, like, having sex or something, and I'd start thinking about girls, and I was always checking out girls when I went to clubs and stuff. But of course I wasn't gonna _tell _him that. In the end, though, when we broke up, he asked me why I didn't want to be with him anymore, and I just kind of blurted it out on a whim, but after I said it, I realized it was true. So that's how _I _found out. But I don't recommend you going back to Aiden, breaking up with him later and saying you're gay, and then analyzing if it feels right."

"Um…thanks?" Spencer offers unsurely, and I roll my eyes at her, holding back a smile. "But how am I supposed to know, then?"

"I don't know," I tell her honestly. "Nobody else can tell you whether or not you're gay, though. It's totally your call." I turn towards her, raising an eyebrow. "Okay, so do you ever look at a guy and think, 'oh, he's cute'?"

"Yeah," she replies, clearly wondering where this is going.

"What about girls? Does that ever happen with them, too?"

"No. Well…yeah. Sometimes. It's complicated." She sighs. "It's like…when I think about dating guys, it's like there's something…missing."

"Like boobs?" I offer, and she rolls her eyes, leaning forward to knock my milkshake out of my hand. "Hey!"

"This is serious. I'm trying to figure out my sexual orientation, here."

"Okay," I say, turning back to her and abandoning my milkshake. It was nearly empty, anyway. "So you feel like something's missing with guys. What about with girls?"

She thinks for a moment, then sighs, looking over at me. "If I like checking out girls, and I…have a thing for a girl, does that make me gay?"

I raise an eyebrow. "Hypothetically?"

"Sure."

"Well…if I didn't know a girl, and she asked me that, I'd assume she was at least bi. But that's just me. I wouldn't take it to heart."

"You know I'm going to."

"Don't," I tell her again, looking over at her seriously. "Like I said: it's something you have to decide for yourself. Just think about it. And know that I'm here if you ever need me. Okay?"

She chews on her bottom lip for a moment, looking out at the busy LA street in front of us, then nods her agreement. "Okay." She leans over all of a sudden and kisses me on the cheek, and her lips feel warm against my skin, especially as cold as the weather is this time of year. I know I'm blushing when she pulls away.

"Spence?" I ask, after another long pause. She's gone back to drinking her milkshake by now, and has to stop in order to reply.

"Yeah?"

"That…erm…wasn't really hypothetical, was it?" I ask, but it sounds more like a statement. We're both silent again, and it isn't long before another slurpy sound signifies the end of Spencer's milkshake. I hear her sigh as she sets her empty cup down, and she glances over at me briefly before she replies.

"No. It wasn't."

* * *

I'm not sure what Spencer and I are now.

Aiden is still pissed at me, and at lunch today, he actually walks over to Madison's table and sits down with Madison and Sherry. Kyla watches him with me for a moment, her mouth stuffed with food, and we both jump in surprise when Spencer sits down on my other side, giving me a bright smile. "Hey."

"Hey," I say, smiling back, and Kyla raises an eyebrow at us from across the table.

"Someone's getting along now," she comments. I was too busy floating to my room last night to answer her questions about where I'd been, so she hasn't been updated yet.

Ahem. Forget I said that. Ashley Davies doesn't float. She walks. With purpose.

"Yeah," I reply shortly, resting one hand on the bench between Spencer and I, while the other picks up the cheeseburger on my tray and lifts it to my mouth. Spencer eats her food silently for a moment, and I nearly spit out my food in surprise when I feel a warm hand being placed over my own. My eyes flicker down to where her hand is covering mine, and it takes everything I have to control myself and act normal. Kyla watches us suspiciously for a moment, and then drops her own cheeseburger in surprise as her eyes widen.

"Oh my God. You two had sex."

Spencer chokes on her food, and I _do _spit mine out this time, shaking my head quickly while Spencer coughs next to me. "No, no," I breathe out hastily. "We haven't done anything like that."

"Then why is Spencer sitting with us?" Kyla asks, and my eyebrows furrow. She has a point.

"Well, I can't sit with Aiden, can I?" Spencer points out once she has recovered. "Besides, I wanted to sit with you two."

"What about Madison? Won't she kick you off the squad?" I ask.

Spencer shrugs, chewing on her bottom lip for a moment, and then she whispers, "Well, maybe…but I'd choose you over cheerleading any day." Her cheeks flush as soon as she's said it, and I'm sure mine go dark too and that I'm smiling like an idiot even though I'm trying not to let it show. I can't describe how happy I am right now.

It's clear that Kyla heard, too, because her eyes go wide again and she shoots me a questioning look from across the table, pointing between Spencer and me discreetly. I smile slightly, shrugging. "No sex?" she mouths, and I shake my head. "Kissing?" I shake my head again. She raises an eyebrow disbelievingly, and I shrug once more, then look away from her and over at Spencer, who is eating quietly again. She is too shy right now to look back at me, so I take another bite of my cheeseburger calmly, turning my other hand over beneath Spencer's so that it is palm-up, then lacing our fingers together.

I'm not going to pressure her about her sexual orientation or Aiden or what we are or anything like that, I decide. Right now, holding her hand feels good enough to last a lifetime.


	9. Meet the Parents

Even though I'm not sure what is going on between Spencer and I, I assume that whatever it is, she wants to keep it a secret, so it is a little surprising when she reaches for my hand in the middle of Mrs. Yorke's class instructions for the day, examining it curiously as she turns it over in her own hands. Our desks are already pulled together in preparation for sharing Spencer's textbook.

"What?" I ask her, smiling as I watch her play with my hand.

"I just never noticed how small your hands are," she whispers, and it occurs to me how much I have changed since Spencer got here. Six weeks ago, if some girl had told me I had small hands, I'd take it as an insult or something and we'd have started shouting at each other. Now, it almost makes me blush. Half the stuff that comes out of Spencer's mouth makes me blush, anyway. "They're smaller than mine." I feel her run her fingers over my calloused fingertips, and I answer her unspoken question.

"I play guitar."

She nods her understanding, brushing her thumb across my knuckles and opening her mouth to say something else, but she never gets the chance.

"Spencer, as interesting as I'm sure Ashley's fingers are, I'd appreciate it if you would both start today's assignment," Mrs. Yorke says, and the class literally explodes with laughter.

Me. Lesbian. Fingers. Haha. The worst thing is that Mrs. Yorke is cool enough that she probably realized exactly what kind of reaction her words were going to cause.

Spencer flushes red and releases my hand, hurrying to find the right page in her textbook, and I retract my hand and grab my pencil, playing with it just to do something with my hands while I am waiting.

* * *

This goes on for two more weeks, and it's seriously killing me. I can only do the whole no-pressure thing for _so _long, you know?

We aren't dating, but we aren't just friends. We're holding hands when nobody's watching, but we aren't when people _are _watching. And we aren't kissing, not even on the cheek anymore, or having sex, but we're hugging, and touching in all the places that are deemed at least semi-innocent. And because of a stupid promise I made to myself, I'm not pushing her into anything. I haven't even asked whether or not she likes me as more than a friend, because it is clear that she does. But I don't want her to feel like she has to decide to be gay, and I don't want to put any pressure on her to label herself or our relationship. It's a weird feeling, because I'm normally the one who wants to be unattached and noncommittal. But commitment would be really nice right now.

I have shared most of this with Kyla, so she understands where Spencer and I are at right now, and has advised me not to push until I just am going to explode if I don't get answers. Aiden and I still aren't talking, and neither are Kyla and Aiden or Spencer and Aiden, as far as I know. I could've sworn I saw him holding hands with Madison the other day, so maybe they are back together.

Spencer was kicked off of the cheerleading squad about three days after she and Aiden broke up, but it honestly didn't seem like she cared very much. Rumors are flying around school about her and me, but we just tend to ignore them, and most of the time, we keep our hands off of each other so that nobody has any reason to suspect there is anything going on between us. Still, there are rare incidents like the one with my hands in Mrs. Yorke's class.

The one thing I really want to do is meet Spencer's family. I haven't even seen Glen yet, but I have heard that he is really nice and loves working with the kids in our high school, so hopefully, he'd like me. I get along with most people, as long as they're nice to me, so I'm sure the same principle would apply to me and Glen. Clay is supposedly really smart and really nice, so I can't wait to meet him too. I think Spencer might introduce me to him over Christmas break in a couple of weeks. Spencer doesn't talk about her parents much, though. I've asked, but her answers are always short. I feel like there's more to them that she isn't telling me about. Aiden has met them, of course, but I can't just waltz up to him and ask him about Spencer's parents.

"Hey, Ash, can you pass me a napkin? I think I got ketchup on my face."

I look over at Spencer, and sure enough, there is a smudge of ketchup on her cheek. I grin at her, and Kyla snorts into her cheeseburger, and then groans because her food is pretty much ruined now. I laugh at her, letting my hand brush Spencer's as she takes the napkin from me, and the familiar tingle that shoots up my arm makes my eyebrows furrow. Kyla has given up on eating, and is watching my face as it forms an expression that is all-too-familiar to both of us by now. It's the look that's always on my face when something special happens between Spencer and I and I realize I can't do anything about it because we're not labeling us. I sigh quietly, splitting my sandwich in half and handing some to Kyla, and she shoots me a half-sympathetic, half-grateful look.

"Spence?" I finally ask quietly, just as she is about to take another bite out of her hotdog, and she looks over at me, setting the hotdog down. I guess she can hear the seriousness in my tone.

"Yeah?"

"I really…I mean, I've been wanting to say this, but…" I sigh again. "You know I really like you, right?"

She smiles at me cutely, a slight pink tint spreading across her cheeks. "I like you too, Ash."

"But…what does that mean?" I ask her, and I vaguely register Kyla excusing herself to go throw her food away. I reach forward to touch Spencer's hand again, and the tingling sensation comes back. "Does it mean that you feel this every time we touch, too?"

Spencer's eyes fall to my hand, and she looks a little uncomfortable, then lowers her voice to reply, "You know I do, but…"

"I'm not trying to pressure you into anything," I tell her. "That's the last thing I want to do. But I don't like being in this limbo, in the middle, where we both feel like this but neither of us does anything about it. I tried to give you some time, but I really like you and I can't wait any longer. What are we, Spence?"

I watch her eyes dart around the lunchroom for a moment, and then she pulls her hand out of mine. I close my eyes, letting out a deep breath and scolding myself for ever thinking it was a good idea to confront her. "Not here, okay?" she murmurs, and that's enough to tell me exactly what she is thinking: she's afraid people are going to find out.

In a way, that makes me feel better, because I know that there's nothing she doesn't like about _me_, and that the only reason she might not want to be with me is because she's afraid of being judged. On the other hand, though, it's extremely disappointing, because I can fix a problem she has with me_. _I can't do anything to fix other people, or to make her feel more comfortable about openly being my girlfriend. Even though we're not technically dating right now, anyway. We haven't even gone _on_ a date.

Kyla comes back once she sees that we aren't talking anymore, and I can tell she knows it didn't go well. When she tries to meet my eyes, I carefully look away.

* * *

"Just tell me what I can do to make you more comfortable," I tell Spencer as we are leaning against my car in the parking lot after school. Now that she doesn't talk to Madison anymore, I give her rides home on most days. "Anything. Just say it and I'll do it." She has me so whipped even though she's not even my girlfriend, but I'm not thinking about that right now.

"It's not you," she insists, leaning towards me and taking my hand. "It's me."

"Are you worried about what people around school will think?" I ask her. "Because I can understand that. And I'm willing to keep us a secret until you're ready."

"That's…part of it," she says carefully.

"Then what's the rest? We'll find a way to get around it."

"There is no way around it," she assures me, but I don't really listen, because I'm Ashley Davies, and I can get away with anything. She has this little inner debate for a few minutes while I watch her patiently, then sighs, meeting my eyes. "Are you busy tonight?"

For a second, I think she is asking me out on a date, and I shake my head quickly, the corners of my lips tugging upward.

"Do you think you could come over and have dinner with my family? I've told them a little about you. They know we're friends."

I already know her family is a sensitive subject with her for some reason, so I simply nod, smiling at her gently. "Sure. I'd love to meet them," I agree, trying not to look too hurt that she just called us friends. "I have to go pick Kyla up from her dance classes at about six, so I can give her the keys and let her drive the rest of the way home once we get to your house. So…I guess I could be there around six-thirty. Is that okay?"

"That should be fine," Spencer agrees, and she glances around for a moment, making sure nobody else is in the parking lot, then leans forward and presses a gentle kiss to my cheek. I'm a little embarrassed when my whole face goes red, but I guess she thinks it's cute or something, because she giggles when she gets a good look at me.

"Great," I reply dazedly.

* * *

"If you total my car like you totaled yours, I swear to God I will tear you apart," I mutter to Kyla as we pull to a stop in front of Spencer's house, glaring at her as I climb out of the driver's seat and she gets out of the passenger's.

"Relax, Ashley. That was _one _time. I'll be extra careful," Kyla promises. "Call me when you need me to come pick you up."

I sigh, running a hand through my hair. "Alright. Keep your phone with you so I don't have to keep calling over and over again."

"Gotcha," she replies, slamming the car door behind her once she's sitting behind the wheel of my Porsche, then shifting into drive and stepping on the gas. My car shoots forward and speeds down the road, leaving a cloud of dust in its wake, and a large part of me is seriously worried for Kyla's safety, but I wipe the thought from my mind and turn towards Spencer's house, gulping as I make my way to the front door and ring the doorbell.

Spencer answers the door and slips outside to join me, and I wonder why she doesn't just invite me inside. "You asked what my other issue was," she reminds me quietly, and I nod.

"Yeah."

"Well…you're about to find out," she warns, and I nod again, not really sure what else I can say.

"Alright. Bring it on."

She lets me inside, then, and leads me into the kitchen. I am greeted by an older version of Spencer that is clearly her mom, a dark-haired man that must be her father, and a blonde boy that looks just a little older than Spencer. "Glen," her brother says, offering his hand and blatantly looking me up and down. It's hard to keep a straight face. Sorry buddy, I'm Spencer's.

"Hi, I'm Arthur. It's great to meet you," Spencer's dad adds, and I shake his hand next.

"We've heard a lot about you," Spencer's mom agrees, skipping the handshake and pulling me in for a hug. "I'm Paula. It's so nice to finally have you over. We've been telling Spencer that we want to meet all of her new friends as soon as possible, but it's been almost two months since we moved here and the only other person we've met besides you was a boy named Aiden." She spaces out for a moment, and I raise an eyebrow uncertainly. "He was a very…handsome boy."

Glen pretends to make a gagging noise, and I grin at him, liking her family already. "God, I hate that kid. He's on the basketball team, and he's such a jerk. Spencer was right to dump him." He gives his little sister a thumbs-up, and Spencer forces a smile.

"So are we all ready to eat, then?" Arthur asks, and he lifts up a giant platter of meatloaf and begins to carry it to the table in the next room over. I wonder if Spencer told him meatloaf is my favorite. Either way, this family rules.

"What were you talking about?" I mutter to Spencer as we trail in behind the rest of her family. "They're awesome!"

"Mhmm," she agrees noncommittally, and I wait for everyone else to sit down so that I can see which seats are left. There is an empty one next to Spencer, so I sit down there.

"Has Spencer ever told you about her brother Clay?" Arthur asks me, and I nod.

"Yeah, I hear he's really smart."

"He went to Harvard," Paula says proudly. "He's very smart. He made straight A's all through high school. If Spencer tries hard enough, she can, too."

"Spencer's a straight A student?" I ask, looking over at her for confirmation. She nods shyly. "I didn't know that."

Okay, so maybe the issue is that her family's all weird and pressure-y about grades. That's not so bad. I can handle a girlfriend with parents like that. It's fine.

"Spencer's a genius," Glen says with a hint of sarcasm, rolling his eyes. "I don't see how. I failed at least one class every year of high school."

Or maybe that's not it.

Arthur laughs, and Paula smiles slightly, but then they all hold out their hands and close their eyes, and it only takes me a second to catch on before I quickly grasp Spencer's warm, smooth, perfect hand in one of mine, and Glen's rough, sweaty one in the other. Ew.

Arthur blesses the food, and I wonder absentmindedly if her family being religious is the problem. I'm not that religious, but it's not a big deal if they are. I can respect that. Maybe she thinks it'd be a problem for me since I don't go to church.

I smile to myself, convinced that I have found Spencer's "issue" and that it is actually no big deal, then start eating along with everyone else. "This meatloaf is amazing," I say to Paula, and she laughs, shaking her head.

"Oh, honey, if I had cooked that, you'd be in the hospital right now. Arthur's the family chef."

Spencer's dad and I exchange grins, and our conversation soon turns to Paula's work. She's a surgeon, so her job is pretty interesting.

"And meanwhile, I sit around all day and counsel people," Arthur adds to her story, and I set my glass of milk down, wiping my mouth off with a napkin to be polite.

"Oh, I think that's a great job, Mr. Carlin. You both help people, but in different ways."

"Well, thank you, Ashley, but you can call me Arthur."

"Okay…Arthur." It feels kind of weird, because nobody's parents have ever been this nice to me before. I've never been able to call an adult by their first name to their face.

I look over at Spencer, smiling proudly because I want to silently convey something along the lines of "See? Look how great I'm doing", but she doesn't meet my eyes. Now that I think about it, she's been really careful about not looking at me too much throughout the entire dinner.

"So what is it that makes you so special, Ashley?" Paula asks me suddenly, smiling as she looks from me to Spencer.

"What do you mean?" I ask her curiously, tilting my head to the side.

"Well, like I mentioned earlier, the last person Spencer brought home was a boyfriend. Are you her best friend, then?"

Spencer is definitely looking at me _now_, and I don't really have much time to figure out what she wants me to say, so I go with the safest answer. We aren't telling kids at school, so I probably shouldn't tell her parents. "Yeah, actually. Spencer and I are really good friends."

"Well, I'm glad she's found someone she can get along with. You were hanging around with that other girl for a while, weren't you, Spencer?" Arthur asks, looking over at her. "Madison, right?"

"I didn't really like her, though, dad," Spencer points out, looking the most relaxed she has been since I got here. "I just had to be friends with her to stay on the squad. And you already know that once I stopped hanging out with her, she kicked me off."

"See, those are the kinds of girls I'm always telling you stay away from, Spence," Arthur tells her wisely. "And if that boy you were dating is hanging around with her, too, then Glen is probably right. You were right to break up with him, for whatever reason." So her family doesn't know about the bet. Phew.

"What about you, Ashley?" Paula asks me suddenly, her eyes twinkling. "As pretty as you are, I bet the boys are all over you. Do you have a boyfriend?"

I see Spencer tense beside me, and I don't know why I do, but I disregard it, focusing on Paula instead and forcing a laugh. I have to admit, I'm a little flattered by the compliment, even though I know I'm hot. "Oh, no. Boys…they aren't really my thing."

"Oh, don't worry about that," Paula tells me, waving a hand at me dismissively. "Everyone matures at a different pace. You're only a couple of years older than I was when I had my first boyfriend."

"Er…" Alright, yeah. So this is a little awkward, and more than a little embarrassing. "Sorry, that's not what I meant. I'm gay."

The whole table goes silent, Glen drops his fork in surprise, and I'm suddenly aware of what Spencer's "issue" was.

I am eating dinner with a family of homophobes.


	10. I Think I Might

**A/N: Here's chapter ten! In case anyone's wondering, I'm still writing this story (and updating it) daily, so right now, _I'm_ about at chapter seventeen or eighteen, although I'm just going to stick to posting one chapter a day. This way, I'll most likely have something every day for you guys, instead of posting everything all at once and then making you wait. I do have a better idea of where this is going, and although I'm not sure whether or not it _sounds_ like a lot, seven chapters is a long way to be ahead, which means a lot has happened between where I'm at in the story, and what you guys are reading right now. It kind of feels like I can see the future :D**

**Anyway, hope you guys like this chapter as much as I like reading reviews! (hint hint)**

* * *

"Why didn't you tell me?" I mutter angrily as I storm off of Spencer's front porch, away from the most awkward dinner of my life and into the cold, pulling out my cell phone to text Kyla so that she will come get me. "Why did you invite me over, and let me find out when I blurted out that I'm gay in the middle of dinner and your mom and Glen looked at me like I'm some kind of freak?!"

"I didn't know _how _to tell you," Spencer tries to explain, hurrying after me to the end of her driveway. She doesn't dare get too close to me in case her family is watching, and I don't miss how much distance she is keeping between us. "I couldn't. I didn't know what to do." Her bottom lip trembles for a moment, and I shiver slightly as the November wind whips my hair around. It's doing the same thing to hers, and there are brief moments where I can't see part of her face. "Ash, I…I think I'm gay. And I'm scared."

I stare at her. Hard. "Don't say that to try and make it up to me, because if that's-"

"I'm not," Spencer tells me, her voice sounding like she is pleading with me. I guess she is. "I never told you, and I said I would; that other reason that made me think I was gay. It was because every time I looked at you, I felt something different, that nothing I felt like with a boy could even come close to. And I tried to ignore it, and dated Aiden, and acted like I didn't notice how you felt about me. And that was wrong. I'm sorry."

We both don't say anything for a while, and I open my mouth, pause, close it again, and then finally ask, "You liked me the whole time?"

"I don't know. I think so," she breathes out, and I furrow my eyebrows.

"So when you were drunk, that night…I was right about that? About why you said my name?"

"_Yes_," she sounds relieved, and I think she thinks I understand. I don't know if I do.

"Then why didn't you say anything?" I shake my head briefly, and then glare at her. "The _whole _time? So we could've been dating as early as before you dated Aiden?"

"I wasn't ready, then," Spencer explains, taking a step towards me, and something tells me that this is as close as she's willing to get to me in front of her house. "And I'm still not sure if I'm ready now. You saw my family in there. I mean, my dad's understanding enough, but…my mom and my brother would hate me if they knew. And it goes against everything I was taught. I'm worried about feeling guilty for being with you. That's why it's something we can't get around; something you can't fix."

I glance over at her house briefly, and then walk over to Spencer, grabbing her hand and pulling her around to the other side of a car in the driveway, so we can't be seen by anyone that might be watching. I guide her backwards gently until her back is resting against the side of the car, and my hands move to her cheeks while our bodies are pressed together. Her breath is warm against my face, and I can see it in the cold every time she exhales. Her eyes are considerably wider, but after a moment of just standing there with me, she relaxes, and her hands slide down to rest on my hips. Even as close as I am, I can tell she wants me closer. I can feel every dip and curve of the front of her body. "Does this feel wrong to you?" I ask her quietly, and her eyes flutter closed as I kiss her forehead.

"No," she breathes out in a whisper, and my thumb slides against her cheek for a moment, and then moves out of the way so that I can kiss there instead. I linger for a moment, not wanting to take my lips off of her skin, then rest my forehead against hers.

"What was that?" I coax gently, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear.

"No," she repeats, her eyes still shut, and it comes out a little louder and a little firmer. "It doesn't feel wrong."

"It doesn't to me, either," I tell her. "So how can it be? You have no reason to feel guilty, Spence."

She opens her eyes at that, and when they find mine, I feel like I'm being sucked in. I've never fallen so hard like this for anyone else before. I would seriously go the ends of the Earth and back for this girl.

"And anyone who says it_ is_ wrong is just jealous because we're too busy dating each other to date them," I add, grinning, and she laughs lightly, her breath tickling my face.

"What about the girls?" she asks.

"They're all secretly lesbians," I assure her, resting my head on her shoulder, and she laughs again, wrapping her arms around me and tugging me closer. It's literally freezing out, and we're the only thing keeping each other warm.

Eventually, I pull away enough so that we can look at each other, and then kiss her cheek again. "Spencer," I blurt out suddenly, "I hope you know…I mean, you're different…from any of the other girls I've been with. You're important to me. You're not just a one-night stand or a fling," I finish, squeezing my eyes shut with embarrassment, because I'm not used to saying anything like that, anything that personal, to anyone. I feel like an idiot until she raises a hand to my cheek, running her fingertips across it lightly. My eyes open at the contact, and I bite down on my bottom lip when I see the warm look she is giving me, then lick my lips nervously.

"Ash…"

I watch as she leans in slightly, our breath mingling and our eyes meeting as her next breath comes out shaky and nervous. Even in the darkness, I can see her eyes darkening, and I can tell by the way she's looking at me that she's expecting me to kiss her. It occurs to me now that if I don't, it'll be the third time she's tried to kiss me and I've denied her.

"Spencer," I murmur, meaning for it to sound like a warning, but it sounds more like I'm pleading for her to just hurry up and get on with it. Her eyes flutter shut at the sound of my voice. "What are you doing?"

Her breath is even warmer the closer she gets, and she licks her lips, then whispers, "I think I might kiss you."

"Don't," I force myself to say, and she pulls away slightly at that, opening her eyes. She looks confused. "Not unless you mean it," I finish quietly, watching her for a reaction. I'm pretty sure I'm holding my breath.

Without warning, she leans forward and closes the distance between us, pressing her palm to my cheek and pulling me closer, and my hands are immediately at her neck and her shoulder as electricity and warmth flow into me, starting at my lips and spreading to my toes. I feel like I was put on this Earth solely for the purpose of kissing Spencer.

A swooping sensation in my stomach makes me gasp as our lips part and our tongues meet, and my mind goes a little hazier when Spencer moans into my mouth and tangles her hands in my hair, growing more impatient and kissing me furiously. Her breath is hot in my mouth, and her tongue feels even better than I could've imagined it would (and trust me, I've tried). We are well past the innocent first kiss stage, and I don't realize this until we are alternating between tugging on lips with our teeth and sucking on tongues, but Spencer tastes too perfect for me to ever want to stop. Breathing? Not necessary. Everything I need to survive is in Spencer's mouth.

We are so lost in each other that a loud screeching sound only_ almost_ breaks us apart, but two loud honks that are distinctly from a car finish the job, leaving us both wide-eyed and breathing heavily while we cling to each other. "I want to be with you," Spencer whispers, sending my already-pounding heart into overdrive, and I let us rest against each other for another moment, before a third honk startles us both and we jump apart. I peek around the car and see my Porsche parked in front of Spencer's house.

"That's Kyla," I tell Spencer, swallowing as I focus on her again. I feel like I'm being rushed at the one time in my life that I've just wanted to take things slowly and talk, and Kyla is really pissing me off right now. "I have to go. But first, please tell me what we are."

"Whatever you want us to be," Spencer replies, smiling slightly, and I grin back at her, giving her another kiss.

This one is more like a normal first kiss, and we're both smiling into it, but it is interrupted by yet another honk, accompanied by an, "ASHLEY! YOU IN THERE?!"

I groan, pecking Spencer on the lips one more time, then another, and a third time, until she finally giggles and pushes me away. "Go, Ashley, before the whole neighborhood comes outside to see what's going on."

"Okay," I concede, letting go of her regretfully. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye," she replies, smiling, and I smile back, then take off towards my car before Kyla can honk the horn again, getting into the passenger's seat and slamming the door shut. Immediately, I let out a sigh, closing my eyes and leaning against the back of the seat.

"Geez, you took forever," Kyla complains. "Where were you?"

My smile widens, and I know I am the perfect picture of content as I breathe out, "Making out with Spencer."

The car has just started moving forward, and Kyla immediately slams on the breaks, causing another loud screech to echo throughout the neighborhood. "What?!"

"Go," I command, smacking her arm. "I'll tell you about it on the way home."

* * *

Do you ever get that feeling after you've had an important conversation with someone, the one where you're thinking about it later on and realize all the stuff you wanted to say but forgot to? That's the feeling I have right now, as I'm driving with Kyla to school and she is rambling on about clothes or shopping or both. I don't know. I'm not paying attention.

"So how exciting is it that you're going to see Spencer today?" she eventually asks, and when she says Spencer's name, I look over at her.

"I see Spencer every day at school," I point out.

"You know what I mean," she replies, rolling her eyes. "For the first time since you've _kissed _her?" She laughs suddenly. "God, Ashley, that's the first time I've ever had to ask you about seeing someone after you've kissed them. You used to be such a slut. Have you slept with _anyone _since you met Spencer?"

I scoff. "Of course I have. You're just always too drunk to notice."

Lie.

"Well, you're not going to _keep _doing that, are you? You're actually going to try the whole relationship thing with Spencer?"

"If she wants. I have to talk to her about it today. But last night she said that what we are is basically my call."

"That's totally an invitation to be her girlfriend."

"I don't know. You didn't see her family last night."

"The homophobic ones?"

I glare at her. "No, the ones who smiled when I told them I was gay and offered to leave so Spencer and I could have sex."

Kyla sticks her tongue out at me. "Well, whatever. You have Spencer, so now we need to find me a boy."

"Okay, but I don't think Aiden's going to work, especially since you two dated for like a week and it didn't work out and he's currently with Madison all the time. And you can't date Glen, because I know you've mentioned he's cute, but that'd be too weird, with me dating Spencer. So who's left?"

Kyla sighs. "Guess I'll just have to start dating chicks, then…"

"Funny. Maybe you're just meant to be single your whole life."

"Way to depress me, Ash."

I grin at her as we pull into the school parking lot, getting out of my car and slamming the doors shut. "You know what depresses me? Showing up to this hellhole every day."

"You can drop out," Kyla reminds me. "But let's see how often you get to see Spencer if you don't go to school." She brightens suddenly, pointing across the parking lot. "Speaking of Spencer, there she is."

I follow Kyla's finger to see Spencer climbing out of the passenger's seat of the car we kissed against last night. Apparently, it's Glen's car, because he's the one dropping her off. "Should I go talk to her?" I ask, but when I look over to where Kyla was just standing, she isn't there. A second later, I spot her running across the parking lot towards Spencer, waving her hands wildly to get the blonde's attention.

Kyla is officially insane.

She takes Spencer completely by surprise and nearly tackles her in a hug, though I'm pretty sure Spencer doesn't know why they're hugging. _I _don't know why they're hugging; Kyla used to want Aiden and Spencer together. But so far she's been supportive of me and Spencer. A little crazy supportive sometimes, like now, but supportive nonetheless.

When I finally get over to Kyla and Spencer and my eyes meet Spencer's, neither of us really says anything. It's kind of awkward.

Kyla pushes us towards each other, effectively upping the awkwardness, then grins, stepping back and telling us, "Anyway, I have to go to class, so you two have fun!"

We both stare at her back as she practically skips off to class, and Spencer scratches the back of her head, while I bite my lip.

"She had a lot of coffee this morning."

Spencer nods her understanding. "Oh."

There's another short silence, and Spencer brushes the toe of her shoe against the sidewalk we're standing on.

"So, uh-"

"Are you-?"

We both pause at the same time to let the other speak, but neither of us does, and a fleeting thought tells me that maybe I should just skip the awkwardness and kiss her right here, but there are people around, so that wouldn't be a good idea. When she doesn't say anything, I decide to continue with what I was going to ask.

"Are you okay with last night?"

She glances at me shyly. "Are you?"

"If you are."

She clears her throat, and then seems to gain some confidence. "I'm _really_ okay with it."

"And your mom?" I ask tentatively.

"Definitely wouldn't be okay with it." She smiles at me. "But what she doesn't know won't hurt her, right?"

I grin back at her, nodding my agreement. "Right. But…I think I should explain something to you that I should've explained a long time ago, or at least last night. About that bet-"

Spencer's hand is covering my mouth before I can finish, and she raises an eyebrow at me. "I get it, Ash. You were stupid. And you already lost all those hundred-dollar bills to Aiden, so you shouldn't have to lose me, too."

I scoff. "Well, now I just feel like I've paid Aiden one-thousand dollars for you. It was worth it, though."

Spencer laughs. "But would you be saying that if you didn't have a huge trust fund backing you up?"

"Yes," I tell her defensively. "I would."

Spencer eyes me curiously for a moment, then suddenly asks, "So what if you'd slept with me that night? What if you'd won the bet, what would've happened with Aiden?"

"He'd have to have worn a chicken suit to school for a day," I tell her, and she laughs.

"Who came up with that, Kyla?"

"Nope. Me." We both look over at the school as the warning bell rings for first period, and Spencer immediately begins to pull me towards the school, saying something about not wanting to be late for class. I'm too busy staring at our joined hands to pay attention.

We are outside the door to her classroom, saying our goodbyes as friends because other people are around now, and I bite my lip, debating with myself for a moment before I say, "Spencer, another thing…I just think you should know that I'm not…I don't have a very good past, and I just think that maybe if you knew about it, you'd-"

"Still like you anyway," Spencer cuts in quietly, looking into my eyes. She glances up at the clock in the hallway, and then steps away from me as kids flood into classrooms around us. "I have to go, but I'll see you at lunch, okay?"

"Yeah," I agree nodding, and almost as soon as Spencer has gotten into her classroom, the late bell rings, and I am left standing alone in the hallway, sighing aloud to myself.

Guess I'm skipping class again.

* * *

I do show up to second period, and third, but they both go by extremely slowly, and when lunch finally rolls around, I am tired of pretending to do assignments, and anxious to see Spencer.

I have to remind myself not to act overly happy to see her, because we're in the middle of the lunchroom, and I think I have overestimated my ability to keep this a secret, because it's only the first day and I'm already having problems.

Spencer is sitting way too close and it is driving me crazy every time our arms and legs brush, and I think Kyla notices, because she looks like she wants to laugh at us.

"You two are being too obvious," she finally comments, and Spencer and I both look up at her simultaneously. "If you're trying to keep it a secret, that is. Which I'm assuming you are." She takes a bite out of a piece of bread, and then speaks through it. "But if you aren't, then whatever. Keep doing what you're doing."

I don't really think Kyla realizes what she's just done, but Spencer and I do. She's basically forced an ultimatum on us: moving away means we're a secret, and staying close means we're going to tell everyone. I stay put, because I know this is basically Spencer's choice, and she hesitates for a second, then scoots over a little, away from me. Yeah, it hurts a tiny bit, but I force a smile to let her know it's okay, and that I understand.

Because I do.


	11. Authors Note

**A/N: Hey guys, sorry I haven't been updating these past two nights. My parents had a fight and are getting a divorce, so things have been pretty hectic recently and I haven't found time to really do anything with the story at all, let alone touch up chapters and get them ready to post and all that. I'm really sorry to have to do this, but I have to postpone the story for now, because I don't know how long it'll be before I update again. Thanks to everyone who has been leaving me positive reviews; I really appreciate your support. I hope everyone can hang in until I find the time to continue this story, and I'm sorry for the wait!**


	12. Christmas with the Carlins

**A/N: Alright, sorry this took so long, but the place I've been staying for the past week didn't have WiFi which rendered my laptop completely useless for anything internet-related, and I only just got home so now I can start posting chapters again. I don't know how often it'll be due to all the recent crazyness, but I'll try to keep updating every night. In the meantime, here's chapter 12!**

**Also, someone asked about whether or not I have an idea of how long this story's going to be, and right now I can tell you that I've got about 40,000 more words typed up (including what I'm posting right now) and that I'm nowhere near done, so I really don't have any idea when I'll end this or how long it'll turn out to be, but it's definitely not going to be over anytime soon. **

* * *

Another week passes before I _actually _gather enough courage to ask Spencer to be my girlfriend. We've been way too paranoid to kiss again since the night at her house, but besides the lack of kissing, we both kind of had this mutual understanding, like we were already dating anyway. So actually dating is a small step in reality, but I think it's a big step for both of us emotionally. I, of course, am Spencer's first girlfriend, which is a big deal for her, and she's my first big relationship since Aiden, which is a big deal for me.

I had to ask her in front of Kyla, because we were dropping her off at her house after school and I couldn't walk her to her front door or else her family would see me. They're not preventing us from being friends, but I can tell they don't approve, either. And that's just of our friendship. I can't imagine what they'd think if they knew we were dating.

Anyway, we were in the car, and she was about to get out of the passenger's seat (Kyla was in the back), when I just sort of blurted it out and it came out all stutter-y and everything. I'm pretty sure my hands were so sweaty that I had to wipe my steering wheel down with a napkin later on. Kyla actually laughed, but I didn't really care because Spencer was already grinning at me and nodding.

That was yesterday.

Today is the first day of Winter Break, which means that I have two weeks off from school, and one week until Christmas.

Even though I have a ton of money, I always have a small list of people to buy gifts. It's usually just Kyla, Aiden, a gag gift for Madison because honestly we have a huge love/hate thing going on, maybe Chelsea (that's Kyla's friend; she graduated last year) if I've talked to her recently or Kyla makes me get her something, and something obligatory for a few distant family members, including my mom. But this year, I have Spencer, and I'm also probably going to get something for her family, because it certainly couldn't hurt. Plus, Aiden and I still aren't talking, so I'm not sure if I'll get him something. Maybe a lit fire cracker.

Kyla wakes me up and offers me a mug of hot chocolate, knowing that unless she comes bearing gifts, I don't like to be woken up early on days where we don't have school. When she sits down on the edge of my bed and offers to fluff my pillows, though, I know something is wrong.

"Kyla, what aren't you telling me?" I ask her as I take my first sip of Kyla's hot chocolate. It tastes surprisingly good for something Kyla has made all by herself.

She bites her lip and has the decency to look guilty as she blurts out, "Chelsea invited me on vacation with her family, and I said yes. We're going to be in Seattle for the next two weeks."

I stare at her. "You're leaving me here alone during Christmas?"

"No. You have other friends." I think by other friends, she means just Spencer.

"Spencer's going to want to spend Christmas with her family, not running off with me," I snap, and Kyla shifts uncomfortably.

"I'm sorry. I already told Chelsea I'd go."

"How long have you been planning this?"

"Just a couple weeks. Spencer already knows I'm going, too. I've just been working up the courage to tell you before I leave tomorrow." She smiles at me next, though, and my eyebrows furrow, wondering what she could possibly be happy about at a time like this. "But…you won't have to spend Christmas alone, if it makes you feel any better."

"Well, who the hell am I going to spend it with?"

"Spencer."

"I already told you, she's going to want to spend it with her family, not with-"

"Surprise!" Kyla randomly shouts, jumping up and throwing her arms out to the sides like she is expecting a hug. Please, bitch. The only part of her that will be getting a "hug" any time soon is her neck, and my hands will be doing the hugging. I blink, and we stare at each other silently. I think Kyla is waiting for me to get something. My eyes widen in surprise all of a sudden.

"Are you serious?!"

Kyla grins again, nodding her head vigorously. "Surprise!" she tries again, and I jump out of bed this time to throw my arms around her. "She asked her family last night, then called and told me that she got them to agree to let you stay with them over Christmas break. Her dad was fine with it, and Glen agreed because he thinks he can 'turn you back', and eventually, her mom had to give in, too. She wanted to tell you, but I couldn't keep it a secret, as depressed as you looked just now. So…you're spending Christmas with Spencer!"

The second I release her, I am racing around my room, trying to figure out what I need to pack, and Kyla is laughing at my eagerness, continuing to fill me in on details and give me advice. "I think Spencer was going to call you later today to tell you, so you could be spending your first night there tonight, or you might have to wait until tomorrow night. I'm not sure. But you better be careful, too, Ash, because her family doesn't know you two are dating, remember? Plus you've never spent the night there before, so I wouldn't try anything with Spencer until you're sure you can get away with it without being walked in on. Oh, and don't forget to be super nice to her whole family, because if they start to hate you even more than they already do, it's going to be hard to live with them for two weeks."

"Thanks, Kyla," I reply dryly, sifting through dozens of outfits inside of my closet. "So do you think I should go for the sexy clothing for Spencer, or the more conservative stuff for her family?"

"Definitely conservative," Kyla tells me, joining me in the closet. "You're less of a threat to them that way. Plus, your Spencer's 'best friend', remember? Why would you need to wear something sexy?"

"Ugh. Okay. You're going to have to help me with this. Spencer and I aren't going to be cooped up inside all day, though, so I have to have _something _to wear when it's just the two of us without her family. And just think," I smirk in Kyla's direction. "Fourteen nights of sleeping in Spencer's bed with her."

Kyla scoffs. "What, are you going to try and have sex with her right under her parents' noses?"

"No," I defend, rolling my eyes. "I'm just saying. And I don't want to pressure her or anything, either. We haven't even kissed since that one night, so I'm pretty sure it's going to be a while before anything else happens."

Kyla stares at me for a moment, and then shakes her head, going back to looking through clothing. "You are definitely not the Ashley Davies I used to know."

"Is that a good thing?"

"…It's nice."

* * *

Spencer calls me at a little after two o'clock, and all of my bags are already loaded into the trunk of my car by now (but she doesn't know that).

"Hello?" I answer, trying not to sound too excited.

"Ash?" she asks, making sure it's me, even though nobody else besides maybe Kyla would be answering my cell phone. She sounds just as excited as I'm trying _not _to sound.

"Kyla already told me," I can't help blurting out, and she groans on the other end, sounding completely put off. "But it's okay! I'm totally excited; I've already packed and everything."

"I wanted to tell you myself so I could hear your reaction," Spencer complains.

"Well, I can fill you in," I suggest. "I squealed, jumped out of bed and spilled some hot chocolate, then hugged Kyla, and then ran around my room, trying to figure out what to pack. I'm so happy we get to spend Christmas together."

I can almost feel Spencer smiling on the other end. "Me too. It sucks that you'll have to sleep on the couch, though."

My train of thought comes to a screeching halt. "Huh?"

Spencer bursts into laughter all of a sudden, and I glare at the phone, hoping she can feel it like I can feel her smiles. "I'm just kidding, Ash. Well…I'm not, but I can sneak you up to my room every night after everyone goes to sleep."

"What about mornings, when they see I'm not on the couch?"

"We'll figure it out," she promises, and I can't help but grin to myself.

"Okay. When should I come over? I can be at your house in five minutes, if you want."

"Could you really?" Spencer asks hopefully.

"Yeah, I mean…like I said, if you wa-"

"Hey, dad!" I hear Spencer call, her voice sounding a little farther away. "Can Ashley come over right now?" There is a short pause, and then she is back by the phone again. "He said it was okay!"

"Alright," I reply brightly. "Just let me say goodbye to Kyla and then I'll be right over."

* * *

Spencer greets me with a big hug and even a kiss on the cheek, which I have to say is pretty daring of her considering it's right in front of her family. It takes everything I have to act like it's no big deal, and I think she realizes what she's done, because she's careful to keep her distance from me while the rest of her family greets me again.

"Ashley," Paula says curtly, shaking my hand this time, and I force a smile, feeling much more comfortable when Arthur takes over and pulls me into a bear hug. It feels good, especially since I haven't hugged any type of father figure in a while.

Glen surprises me by pulling me into a hug, too, and he slides his arms around to my back, pulling me closer so that my face is buried into his shoulder. "Hello, Ashley," he murmurs, and I don't say anything, patting his arm awkwardly. His hands slip a little lower on my back.

"Whoa," I say quickly, pulling away and scowling at him, while Glen has this smug grin on his face, Arthur looks amused, and Paula looks stoic. Spencer is glaring at Glen like she might kill him in his sleep tonight, but one look from me gets her to hide it.

"Anyway," Arthur finally says, gesturing towards the front door. "Why don't you go inside, Ashley? Glen and I will bring your stuff up to Spencer's room."

"She's sleeping on the couch, though, remember?" Paula reminds him, and Arthur nods noncommittally.

"If Spencer doesn't want her in her room."

"I don't mind sleeping with Ashley," Spencer pipes up, and I'm pretty sure if I had been drinking something, I would've either choked on it or spit it out.

Eventually, the argument is abandoned altogether without anything being resolved, and Spencer pulls me into the house with Paula following in behind us, while Arthur and Glen go and get my bags.

"Okay, you didn't get to see my room last time, so come on," Spencer tells me, already pulling me up the stairs to her room.

"What are you, twelve?" I can't help asking when I get my first look at her bedroom.

"My mom likes to think so," she replies, sighing.

"Yeah, I mean…the flowery pillows…the pink walls…the stuffed animals…" She is nodding along with me until I say, "…the Kelly Clarkson poster…"

"Hey, whoa," she cuts in, putting a hand on my arm.

I look over at her and deadpan, "You like Kelly Clarkson?"

"…Maybe."

"You're eighteen, and you like Kelly Clarkson?"

Spencer coughs uncomfortably. "Well, I'm actually _seventeen_, but…" She trails off, and I bite my lip for a moment, then look over at her.

"You know I'm eighteen, right?"

"I figured…just now. When you assumed I was eighteen."

"Oh." Well, this wasn't something I'd considered. She's a minor; I'm not. Kyla, Aiden, and I are all eighteen, so it never even occurred to me that Spencer might not be. "When's your birthday?"

"It's in May," she tells me, sitting down on the edge of her bed and looking down at her lap. I stand here for a moment, watching her, then turn around and sit down next to her on the bed.

"Hey, you know that doesn't matter to me, right?" I ask, and when I think about it, it really doesn't. This just means we probably shouldn't risk having sex until she turns eighteen. Especially since her mom doesn't like me anyway, and definitely would hate me even more if she knew I was with Spencer. "So we just won't risk anything by having sex. I definitely don't want your mom walking in on us and then trying to send me to jail or something," I joke, and she forces a smile.

"Aren't you, like, a sex addict or something along those lines, though?"

I raise an eyebrow at her. "Very funny. I've gone two months without it. I can go five more, and I wasn't planning on rushing anything, anyway."

She tilts her head to the side, smiling for real this time. "All of that just for me?"

"Oh, don't think you won't have to make up for it later."

"I could start right now," she suggests in a slightly huskier tone, smirking at me, and I raise an eyebrow again at this.

"Spencer Carlin, this is definitely a side of you I haven't seen before."

She giggles, leaning in like she is going to kiss me, and I'm pretty sure she is, but then her bedroom door swings open and we jump apart quickly as Glen and Arthur enter, carrying all of my bags. Spencer's hands are immediately in her lap, and I run a hand through my hair as I sigh, exchanging looks with her briefly.

"Here we are," Arthur says as he puts my bags down, and Glen follows his lead, neither of them looking like they are suspicious of us in the least. I take a mental note that Spencer's family doesn't knock and store it away for future reference.

"You guys should seriously consider redoing Spencer's room, Mr. C.," I tell him, surprised at how normal I sound. I actually wish they'd both get the hell out of here so that I can be alone with Spencer. No offense to Mr. Carlin. And I guess Glen is okay, too, other than the fact that he tried to grab my ass a few minutes ago. "Spencer's a big girl now."

Arthur laughs, straightening up and smiling at me. "You'll have to take it up with Paula, Ashley. That sounds like something fun you and Spencer could do together sometime while you're here with us, though."

"Yeah, I'm sure there are plenty of fun things for us to do together," I reply. "Right, Spence?"

She nods, leaning forward slightly and resting her hands on her cheeks. All of her actions are calm, but I know she's actually hiding a blush, and I smile to myself. _"Ha. That's for the sleeping comment," _I think, smirking inwardly. "Anyway," I continue, turning back to Arthur, "I guess I better get settled; unpack and all that."

"Of course. Spencer's closet has some extra room. Hopefully everything will fit in there, and if it doesn't, you're welcome to use Clay's closet until he gets here."

"Oh, that's right, I get to meet Clay," I reply brightly, recalling seeing pictures of her adopted brother around the living room the last time I was here. "When's he getting here?"

"In about three days, I think," Arthur tells me, and then he pulls me into another comfortable hug. I could definitely get used to them. "It's great to have you, Ashley."

"No, thanks for inviting me," I insist. "If it weren't for you guys, I'd be spending Christmas alone this year."

"Just make sure you get us nice presents," Glen cuts in, and Arthur smiles at me as he pulls away, leaving the room a moment later. Instead of leaving, Glen follows me back to Spencer's bed, oblivious to the way I'm looking at Spencer _and _to the way she's looking back at me. "Like, I could think of something you could give me right now, if you want…"

"A shove out of here?" I reply distractedly, and Glen laughs, which I'm not expecting.

"Uh…no. I have specific instructions from mom not to leave you alone with Spencer unless her bedroom door is open."

It takes a lot for me to get myself to not only not look upset, but also to scoff like that's a ridiculous idea. "Why? Just because I'm gay doesn't mean I have a thing for your sister. That's such a stereotype," I tell him, rolling my eyes and turning my back to Spencer so that I am facing Glen. "I mean, sure, I won't deny that she's cute…" Glen looks a little grossed out, and I bend my arm at the elbow so that one of my hands is behind my back. "But I would never actually _date _her," I finish, crossing my fingers behind my back, where only Spencer can see them.

"Like she'd date you anyway," Glen counters with a sneer. "Spencer's as straight as an arrow. She's dated guys her whole life."

"Then we don't have a problem," I reply easily. "So you can close the door on your way out."

"Whatever," Glen retorts, and as he storms out of the room, I have a feeling he is angry because I'm more likely to like his little sister than I am to like him. Not that I care, though, because my mind is elsewhere as soon as I realize Glen has actually shut the door. I turn around, looking over at Spencer, who is chewing on her bottom lip and staring at the closed door. After a moment, she stands up and walks over to it, reaching forward and turning the lock, then spinning around to face me.

"Won't your parents come up here and see that the door's locked?" I ask her, hating to have to be logical right now, because I really don't _want _to be.

"Um…" she thinks for a moment, then walks over to me, brushing my hair out of my eyes and moving in closer. "Well, we're busy unpacking right now, which should take a while," she tells me, and I raise an eyebrow. "And we're taking out a lot of your clothes, so we'd hate for someone to walk in and see your more personal articles, like bras or panties…" Okay, I'm not gonna lie. Hearing Spencer say the word "panties", especially when her face is this close to mine, is definitely a turn-on. "And…the reason our faces are so flushed is from all the lifting we've had to do to put all of your stuff away." She smiles at me, and I bite my lip, trying hard not to grin. "Does that cover everything?"

"The basics," I agree, nodding. "But you haven't explained why you won't be able to take your eyes off of me once your parents come back, or why they will have heard you moaning my name," I tease, and Spencer rolls her eyes, purposely stepping away from me.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," she says innocently, walking over to my closet. "We have to put your clothes away."

I glare at her back, watching her bend over to unzip one of my bags. I can't figure out whether or not this is part of her teasing me. "That was mean."

"Well, it's not my fault you have a dirty mind," she counters. I continue to scowl at her, and she turns around briefly to wink, having mercy on me. "Maybe later, Ash."


	13. B Is for Boundaries

**A/N: I decided to post a new chapter a little earlier today, and I might update again later tonight, just depending on how things work out.**

**I also meant to include this information in a note at the end of the last chapter, but since I forgot, I'll just go ahead and say it now: **

**I did a bunch of research on California law before I typed up the last chapter because I wanted to make everything as accurate as possible as far as Spencer legally being a minor and Ashley being an adult, and here's what I found. Ashley wouldn't get into _huge _trouble if they had sex and someone found out, because they are less than three years apart, but it could still be considered a misdemeanor or there could be some probation or a fine involved, which means it's really just not something that would be a good idea to risk (at least in my opinion). I thought it would be interesting to add this element to the story because I actually haven't ever seen it mentioned in any others (other than the ones with the huge age differences), and plus it throws a wrench in how Ashley normally does relationships now that she has to wait for Spencer to turn 18, which I thought would be kind of fun to write. So, now you guys have more background on the whole minor/adult situation.**

**Also, I completely made up Spencer's birthday because I couldn't find it anywhere online, and Ashley's is supposedly on April 21, but I'm changing it for this story. I don't know when Kyla's or Aiden's birthdays are either so they're not accurate here as well.**

**Anyway, on with the actual chapter...**

* * *

I feel like Spencer and I are at this point in our relationship where it's _almost _like we're a real couple, but we're just not quite there yet. Or, we are, but…it's hard to describe. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that we can't tell anyone other than Kyla that we're dating, or maybe it's because Spencer and I both have our own little quirks and issues that make dating a little weird for us. But, to me, dating someone is when you can walk up to them and hold their hand or kiss them on the cheek and say mushy stuff and know that they're okay with it. And even when we're alone, Spencer and I aren't up to that point yet. We _haven't _kissed each other since that night against the car, there's hesitation before we grab each other's hands, and awkwardness if we do, and I'm definitely not the sweet-talking type. And, like I said, this is just when we're alone. With her family, we're just friends, so none of that comes close to happening, anyway.

We're fine when we're not being awkward. Everything's normal, then; we flirt, we tease, we laugh, and we talk, but that's stuff I do with Kyla, minus the flirting. Spencer's my _girlfriend_, not my sister. Thank God.

We've just finished dinner with Spencer's family and are up in her room again (with the door closed, thank you very much), and it is my first night at her house, and I am thinking about all of this and glancing at Spencer every few seconds. She's lying down on her bed, reading, and has these glasses on that make her look even more adorable than she already normally does. I'm sitting cross-legged on the bed next to her, chewing on my bottom lip and trying to convince myself to let her know what's bothering me.

"Spencer?" I finally ask, lacing my fingers together and resting them in my lap. She looks up from her book and focuses those big, blue, innocent eyes on me, and…wait, what had I been about to ask her?

"Hmm?" she asks, sliding backwards on the bed slightly so that she is sitting up.

Oh, right. The awkwardness. "Do you feel weird around me?"

Her eyebrows furrow, and she smiles nervously. "No…" She looks scared all of a sudden. "Why? Do _you_ feel weird around _me_?"

"I don't feel like a real couple. I mean, sometimes I do, but…" I sigh, and her eyes are glued to me as I shift positions. "We're not…I…we don't…_do _anything, you know? That friends wouldn't do. Besides flirt, and it never really leads to anything, and I want it to sometimes, you know?"

Spencer looks like she doesn't really know what to say, but she finally tells me, "Well…that's probably because we're keeping us a secret. I'm sorry if you don't think we're a real couple because of it, but I'm not comfortable coming out to everyone. I won't be comfortable for a while."

"That's not what I mean," I reply, scooting closer to her, then hesitating for a moment, before my hand latches onto hers. I groan once I realize what I've done. "See? Like that. It's not about whether or not we're a secret; it's the same when we're alone, too. I can't tell what you're okay with. I don't want to make you feel weird, because you're still adjusting to this, and whenever _you _hesitate over touching me or something, I don't know if it's because you think I won't be okay with it, or if it makes _you _feel awkward, or if it's just because you're worried about being caught."

Spencer stares at my expression for a moment, and I'm sure I look pretty anxious, then turns and sets her book down on her nightstand, taking off her glasses and setting them down, too. "Let's talk about it, then," she says reasonably, her eyes focusing on me again. "What are you okay with me doing, Ash?"

"Whatever you're comfortable with," I tell her honestly, and she looks a little frustrated for some reason. "What?"

"If you say that, we won't get anywhere. I didn't ask what _I'm _okay with. What are _you _okay with, as far as touching, holding hands, kissing…?"

"I'm…" I pause, and it doesn't take me long to come up with another honest answer. "I'm okay with everything."

"Well, I'm not eighteen yet, so you can't be okay with _everything_," she points out, smiling, and I flush. "But I get what you mean. That means I have to set the boundaries." She bites her lip. "Are you okay with that?"

"That's exactly what I wanted," I tell her honestly. Finally, I'll know exactly what I can and can't do with Spencer.

"Okay. And this only applies to when we're alone," she emphasizes, and I nod as she takes my hands in her own, intertwining our fingers. "You can do _this_," she tells me, holding up our joined hands. "And you can touch anywhere above the shoulders, and my hips, my stomach, and below my knees. And that's all _above _my clothing." She puts my hands on her hips, letting them rest there. "Anywhere else, you have to get permission first, until I'm more comfortable with it. So no hauling off and squeezing my butt without my consent."

"I'll try not to."

"Good. And…kissing." She pauses. "You can kiss anywhere above my collarbone, and that's it for now, unless it's like my hand or arm or something. I'm not sure why'd you kiss my arm, though."

"Oh, I don't know. I like your arms," I tell her, running my fingertips down one absentmindedly. "So this is _whenever _we're alone?"

"Well, it depends on the circumstances, of course, but…yeah."

"And what about in public?"

She looks a bit uncomfortable at that. "Well, there are so many different situations, so I couldn't even begin to predict all of the possibilities. How about…you just follow my lead in public? If something's okay, I'll make sure you know," she promises, and I nod, overall pleased with how this has turned out. "Feel better?" she asks me, and I smile at her, leaning forward to kiss her forehead.

"Yeah." I scoot even closer to her, shifting so that I'm leaning back against the pillows. The side of my leg is pressed against the side of hers, and it feels good. I tilt my head so that it's resting on her shoulder, lacing our fingers together and resting them on my thigh. "I was just thinking about earlier today, when you were about to kiss me, before your dad and Glen came in. I wanted to kiss you, too, but I wasn't sure if that was okay. And I didn't want to _ask_, because…I don't know, that just kind of ruins it for me. Kisses are supposed to be either spontaneous and surprising, or gentle and loving, and the way I wanted to kiss you was _definitely _not gently, therefore it had to be spontaneous and surprising. So I couldn't ask."

Spencer is silent for a moment, before I feel her turn her head and look down at the side of my face. "You think too much."

I sit up, raising an eyebrow at her. "I think that's the first time someone's ever told me that. And it'll most likely be the last time."

"No, it won't be. You're smart when you want to be, Ash."

"Oh yeah? Like when?"

"Like…whenever you want to get out of doing something. Or when you're coming up with an excuse in order to avoid getting caught for something you most likely actually did do."

"Yeah?" I ask, grinning.

"Yeah. But don't get a big head."

"Well, look who's talking. Your big head is full of random school crap that you won't need to know in ten years."

"Not recently," Spencer says, shaking her head. "I haven't told my mom yet, but I got a B in one of my classes on the report card we just got." She looks over at me, raising an eyebrow. "Guess which class?"

I bite my lip, guilt creeping into my chest. "Um…math?"

"No…"

I struggle to remember what other classes she has, besides the one she shares with me. "Uhhh…a class you don't have with me?"

"Nope."

"I'm sorry," I say quickly. "I know I didn't do my work, but I would've if I thought it was affecting your grades when I bugged you or talked to you or…anything else I did."

"You didn't do anything, Ash," she tells me, rolling her eyes. "Well…I mean, you _did_, but it wasn't your fault. I couldn't think with you right beside me every day. And it was only an 88, anyway. I'm sure my parents will be fine with it. Or…my dad will. But he'll console my mom. And besides, one B during my senior year isn't going to ruin all the A's I've gotten before that."

"I distracted you?" I ask her, letting a smirk creep onto my face now that I know she isn't upset or angry. "You thought about me in class?"

"Shut up," Spencer mutters, pushing me away lightly, but I keep going anyway, enjoying making her squirm.

"Were you daydreaming, Spence? Thinking about all of the naughty things you knew I'd do to you if I got the chance?" I press, walking two of my fingers up her arm. She slaps my hand away, blushing furiously as she stares at me. I give her my best seductive look. "_Pondering _what it would be like to kiss me? Wondering what it would feel like if-"

Her lips are on mine before I can register that she has even leaned forward, and we are both still for a moment, before my eyes flutter shut and I gently return the pressure, cupping her cheek in one hand. Spencer tries to deepen the kiss, but I just smile against her lips and pull her body in closer, letting my other hand rest on her waist. I am definitely planning on savoring this, in case it takes another two weeks for us to kiss again, but then she says my name in this tone that's halfway between a moan and a whine, and suddenly I'm not taking it so slowly anymore.

Spencer can feel me trying to deepen the kiss, and she keeps her lips pressed together in some kind of sick, twisted revenge against me for doing the same thing. Not fair, Spencer.

I break the kiss, because as much as I like Spencer's lips, I really love her mouth, too, and being this close to tasting her but being denied at the last second is beyond aggravating. And all I have to do is pull away enough to give her a look, and she knows.

"Just giving you a taste of your own medicine," she says lightly, sliding a hand up my arm and squeezing my shoulder. I tilt my head to the side, raising an eyebrow.

"I don't think you know who you're dealing with, Spencer Carlin."

"Why don't you tell me, then?"

"Nope," I reply, pushing her backwards carefully until she is lying down on her bed. Before she can ask me what I'm doing, I crawl over to her and plant my butt on her upper thighs, straddling her. She looks a little surprised, but it doesn't seem like she thinks I'm too heavy, so I figure we're good to go. I lean forward until my face is hovering above hers, keeping myself steady by pressing both hands to the mattress on either side of her head, and give her my best smirk. "_You're _gonna tell _me_."

She raises an eyebrow. "Oh, I don't think so."

"I dooo…" I sing out, propping myself up with one hand and letting the other slide down her side. Her shirt has ridden up a little, and I brush my thumb across the exposed skin before my hand reaches her hip.

"Ashley," she reprimands, and I'm sure she's thinking about the rules we've set. Okay, so that wasn't the tone of voice I expected her to be saying my name in, but it works.

"You said my name," I tell her, and I know I probably sound a little distracted considering she just licked her lips and I'm kind of thinking about how much I want her tongue in my mouth now. Sorry to be blunt, but I tell it like it is.

She grins at me all of a sudden. "Did you know that there are guys named Ashley?"

Okay, don't see where this came from, but whatever. "Did you know that there are guys named Spencer?" I tease, and she swats at my arm, embarrassed.

"Shut up."

"You know," I begin, reaching down to thread my fingers through some hair that has gotten close to being in her eyes, brushing it out of the way. "That's one of the first things I noticed about you. I was basically like, 'Who the hell is that hot chick?', and Aiden told me your name was Spencer." I smile at her, then kiss her gently, and she is smiling back by the time I pull away. "And I said, 'Isn't that a guy's name?'"

She scoffs, hitting my arm again and sitting up. I refuse to get off of her, so she lets me stay there, but I bet she secretly likes having me so close. I know_ I_ like being this close to her.

"You thought I was hot?" she asks shyly, and I can't help grinning at the look on her face.

"I thought you had a hot body. But you'd definitely be more on the cute side," I tell her, and her pout is way too dramatic for it to be real.

"I can't be hot?"

"No, I've already filled that position," I explain. "So you have to be the cute one."

"Well, _I _think you're cute," she replies, squeezing my hand, and I can't help but wrinkle my nose at her disbelievingly. Me? Cute? I don't think so.

I shift on top of her slightly, and then raise my eyes to hers again, biting my lip to avoid grinning too widely. I always feel like an idiot around Spencer, because I'm constantly smiling. "You wanna know the first thing I noticed, after your body?"

"What?"

I lean forward and rest my forehead against hers, ignoring how tempting it is to kiss her. "Your eyes," I tell her, looking deep into them even as I'm saying this. "They're so big and blue and they twinkle when you're happy. I could get lost in them forever."

Her eyes close a moment later, and I'm a little upset that I can't look into them until my mind registers that she's kissing me. When she pulls away, I can tell she doesn't want to, but we're stuck between talking and kissing and we want to do both at the same time. Clearly, it's impossible.

"Do you wanna know what I thought about you the first time I saw you?"

"Yeah," I reply, biting my lip.

"I thought that you were really sexy, and that it sucked that you had all of those things wrong with you. The ones Madison was whispering into my ear."

"Oh, so even Straight Spencer Carlin thought I was sexy?" I ask her, smirking, and she rolls her eyes at me, then reaches around me and hooks her hands behind my neck, resting her arms on my shoulders.

"And when I met you and we passed that first note, I thought I was going to have to beat you off with a stick if you ever made a move on me."

I laugh, and then look around us for a moment, faking surprise when I'm facing her again. "No stick?"

"Yeah, it's under the bed. I'm just waiting for you to fall asleep."

"Nice." I grin. "Okay, what about the time we went bowling together? The first time. What did you think of me then?"

She licks her lips and gets this faraway look in her eyes, and I can tell she is thinking back. "Well…we had that conversation about labels that one day, and that got me thinking. And when we went bowling…" Her eyes come back to the present, and look into mine. "I think…the moment I started falling for you was when you dropped the bowling ball on your toe. Before I went through my 'Aiden denial' phase."

I laugh, pushing her playfully. "You did not." She nods, contradicting me. "Seriously? When I dropped the bowling ball? That was like the dorkiest moment of my life."

"I did," she insists, giggling. "It was hilarious. And you were always so comfortable and confident around me, and that was the first time you weren't."

I tilt my head to the side expectantly, reaching up to rest my hands on her outstretched arms. "What was it like, then? Did a light shine down from heaven and were there angels singing in the background and were you, like, all smiley and stuff?"

"No, it was more of an 'oh shit, she's a girl' kind of feeling."

I gasp. "Spencer!"

"Ashley!" she mocks.

"Glen!" comes a third voice from just outside Spencer's bedroom door, and that is the only warning we get before it opens and Glen pops his head in.

I am off of Spencer so quickly that even I'm a little amazed at my own speed, and Spencer looks over at me with wide eyes, a little shocked, too.

"Someone's at the door to see you, Spencer. Nobody'll tell me who, but mom's all giggly so you better get downstairs soon and see who it is."

He closes the door a moment later, and Spencer and I both breathe out sighs of relief as soon as he is gone. "For a second I thought he'd been listening in on us the whole time," she admits.

"Me too," I agree, getting up off of the bed and tugging her off, too. "Come on. Maybe Clay got here early as a surprise."

"Oh, I hope that's it," Spencer replies excitedly. "Anyone else would just be disappointing, especially if they're staying with us. I want as much privacy as possible."

We head downstairs and see the front door halfway open, with Paula talking to whoever is on the other side. Glen and Arthur are nowhere to be found.

I decide to wait on the stairs, figuring if this is some kind of family thing, I shouldn't get involved, and Spencer is almost to the front door when Paula notices her coming. She turns and smiles, and I get this feeling in my stomach all of a sudden that tells me this won't be a good thing. "Look who's here to see you, honey." She opens the door the rest of the way, and, standing in the doorway, a bouquet of roses in his hand, is Aiden.


	14. Lessons from the Beginner

**A/N: This chapter is dedicated to the fact that I have no school today because of bad weather. =D**

**(I'll still post another tonight, though.)**

* * *

Spencer looks all kinds of surprised, and I'm sure I do too, but Aiden doesn't even see me on the stairs. His eyes are already focused intently on Spencer, and a second later the two of them are talking in hushed whispers. Once Paula decides to leave them alone, Aiden raises his voice, and I can hear him better.

"It's been three weeks, Spencer…when are you going to forgive me? You forgave _Ashley _the day after you found out about the bet!"

"I wasn't dating Ashley," Spencer replies through gritted teeth, and I'm not sure if I should join the argument or just leave them to it, but I'm leaning towards the former, because I really don't want to leave my girlfriend alone with her ex-boyfriend when he clearly still has feelings for her. "And what are you doing here, anyway? Aren't you with Madison?"

"I broke up with her yesterday. I can't stop thinking about you, Spence. I still want to be with y-"

Unable to sit here and watch Aiden try and win Spencer back, I clear my throat delicately, and Aiden immediately falls silent as his eyes slide upwards to me. Spencer looks like she'd forgotten I was here.

"What's_ she _doing here?"

"It's nice to see you too, Aiden. Now can we just go back upstairs, Spence?"

"She's spending Christmas Break with my family," Spencer murmurs to Aiden, and my eyebrows furrow. We don't owe him an explanation, so why is she giving him one?

Aiden looks between us for a moment, and I join them at the front door with crossed arms. "Neither of us wants you here, Aiden. Spencer's…" I trail off, wanting to tell him that she's moved on, but that wouldn't be fair to Spencer.

Aiden laughs dryly. "I think Spencer can speak for herself, Ashley. It's not like you two are together, so you don't have to get all possessive."

"I'm not being possessive," I argue. "I'm just telling you to get the fuck out of here. There's a difference."

"You don't live here. I'll leave when Spencer tells me to leave."

He's still standing there with those stupid roses in his hand, and I look over at Spencer expectantly. She's chewing on her bottom lip nervously, and even as she raises her eyes to meet mine, I know that my silent command is for her to choose. She sighs, and then turns back to Aiden. "Just go."

Aiden looks caught completely off-guard. "What?"

"Things have changed a lot in the past three weeks, Aiden. I'm not getting back together with you."

"Why not?" he retorts.

Spencer and I both turn slightly as we hear footsteps approaching from behind us, and it looks like Paula has come back to see what's going on. Spencer groans quietly, then grabs my wrist and tugs me outside with her, shutting the front door behind us so that we're alone outside with Aiden. "It's complicated," she says, and I know that this is her way of avoiding telling him.

"Okay," he prompts, his voice going all soft and gentle now that he knows he's on thin ice. I feel like punching him in the face for trying to play Spencer like this. "Then we'll talk about it, Spence, and-"

"Don't call her that," I snap out of nowhere, glaring at him. "You've been calling her that since the first time I saw you talking to her, and it pisses me off."

"Go inside, Ash, this has nothing to do with you," Aiden retorts, brushing me off, and I'm standing between him and Spencer before I really have a chance to think about it.

"Oh, please. This has _everything _to do with me."

"Ash…" I hear Spencer plead from behind me, and I close my eyes and suck in a deep breath, then let it out slowly.

"Fine." I open my eyes. "I'll go inside." I turn to leave, but Aiden grabs my wrist all of a sudden, tugging me back around, then releasing my arm so roughly that it makes me take a step backwards. He glares at both of us.

"What, are you two fucking now? Is that it?"

Spencer runs a hand through her hair and turns away from him, too stressed out to handle this, and I have to remind myself to stay calm as I reply. "No, we're not." I glance over at Spencer, watching her sit down on her porch steps with her head in her hands. It's too late, and we both know it. Aiden knows something's up, and will already tell everyone, anyway, so it's better if I just get it all out in the open. "We're dating. Spencer's…" I want to say she's gay, but she hasn't even come right out and said it completely, yet, so there's no way I'm going to take that opportunity away from her, for her to say it when she's ready. Aiden knows what I was going to say, anyway. And the first thing he does is laugh.

Seriously. He _laughs_. Then he starts shaking his head, and takes a step away from me, looking back and forth between us with this grin on his face, like he knows something we don't.

"Do you think that's funny, you little fu-", I start, storming towards him, but Spencer is up in a second, latching onto my hand to hold me back.

"Stop, Ash," she breathes into my ear, and it amazes me how quickly I relax. I just want Aiden to go so that Spencer and I can hold each other and move on to worrying about what's going to happen when Aiden tells everyone about us. "Forget about him. You have me." I genuinely don't think she said that to spite Aiden, but I'm kind of hoping it hurt his feelings. He doesn't look too affected, though, when I finally look at him again.

He looks between us for another moment, amused, and then says, "You have absolutely no idea what you're getting into, Spencer. Not only is this completely going to trash your reputation if everyone finds out, but I've dated Ashley. I know her. She completely screwed me over, and she's screwed over everyone she's dated since. You won't be any different." His expression turns bitter. "She'll get bored of you, or cheat on you with some random girl she meets at Ego."

"That's not true," I growl at him. "I haven't even looked at another girl since I met Spencer."

"Uh, that's not what Kyla told me," Aiden replies pointedly, crossing his arms. My eyebrows furrow. Kyla? I haven't told Kyla…uh oh. "Because according to her, you said that you've slept with plenty of people since you met Spencer, and that Kyla was just too drunk to notice."

I can feel Spencer's eyes on the back of my head, and I swallow heavily, not sure who I'm talking to when I say, "I didn't mean it."

She pulls her hand from mine the second the words are out of my mouth, and I turn around quickly to see her glaring at me. "What's that supposed to mean?" she asks. "You said that? Was it true?"

"No, it wasn't true," I tell her hastily. "I did say that, but that…that was just Kyla, I-"

Aiden moves over to stand closer to me, and Spencer's eyes shift to him when I can't find the right words to defend myself. "Anyway…thanks for letting me stop by, Spencer." I want to claw his eyes out. And Kyla's. I didn't even know she was talking to him, let alone telling him stuff like _that_. "But I guess I better get home. And I won't tell anyone about you and Ash, since your reputation's the one on the line, but remember who warned you once she's broken your heart."

"I'm not going to br-" I start to defend as Aiden turns to head back to his car, but Spencer cuts me off with a sharp, clipped version of my name. I let out a sigh, closing my eyes for a moment. "Spencer," I say when I open them. "Just let me explain."

She stares at me for a second, examining the pleading expression I know is on my face, then grips my wrist, tugging me back inside. Her mom tries to ask us what happened, but Spencer snaps something at her and pulls me up the stairs to her room. The part of me that's paying attention registers that something seems wrong with her voice, and when she's closed the door to her room and locked us inside, I can see that she is crying. I feel like shit.

"Spencer…don't cry," I mutter weakly, and she glares at me, crossing her arms.

"You know, I really hate when people say stuff like that," she tells me, sniffing. "'Don't cry.' Like I can control it. If you want me to stop crying, then say something that'll make me stop, Ash."

"I'm sorry," I blurt out immediately. "Nothing Aiden said was true. I mean…the stuff about him and about the other girls I dated was, but I'm telling you the truth: I haven't slept with anyone since I met you. I haven't been able to take my fucking mind off of you long enough to even acknowledge any other girls."

"I don't mind," she says, wiping at her eyes and avoiding mine, "if you had sex with some girl before we started dating. What hurts is that you would tell me you didn't."

"I only told you that because I really _didn't_," I insist, getting frustrated. "It was like locker room talk. I didn't want Kyla to make fun of me. I didn't want to sound…" I trail off, and more tears slide down Spencer's face as she fills in the blanks for me.

"What? Whipped? Do you think you're just some…_slave _that I like having under my control?!" She sits down on the edge of her bed, shaking her head to herself. "I just turned my whole life upside down for you, Ashley, you know? I could've ignored the whole gay thing, and ignored _you_, and…and acted like everything was fine with Aiden and forgiven him for making that stupid bet with you, but I did what you said and I listened to what I was feeling, and look where I am now. You and Aiden hate each other, my mom doesn't like you, and I have to keep us had a secret from everyone I love, because if I tell them, they won't love me back anymore. I've given up so much to risk being with you, and you can't even give up your stupid pride!"

I avert my gaze to the ground while she catches her breath, running a hand through my hair and biting my lip. These are not things we should have to be worrying about after one fucking _day _of officially dating. "What do you want me to do?" I finally ask her, and all that does is earn me another glare.

"What do you _think_ you should do, Ashley? Instead of just asking me all the time, try to just be in a real relationship. What do you think you can do to fix this?"

God. Spencer's never even dated a girl before, and she's coaching me through the process already. "I could…tell Kyla I'm whipped?"

"No. Try again."

I sigh. "I don't know what you want from me, Spencer."

"Ash."

"_Okay_," I groan out, shutting my eyes tightly so I can think better. If _I_ was in Spencer's shoes, what would I want right now? If my ex-boyfriend showed up at my door with flowers after I realized I might be gay, my girlfriend was ashamed of falling too hard for me, and I had to keep a relationship a secret from my family…

"I…could go chew Aiden out for you," I suggest weakly, and Spencer just closes her eyes, covering her face with her palms and shaking her head. No, that's wrong. That's what _I _would want if I was in Spencer's shoes. What would Spencer want?

I swallow, clenching and unclenching my fists for a moment, before I walk over to her and sit down beside her, looking over at her nervously. "Do you…need a hug?"

She is burying her face in my neck a second later, letting me pull her in closer while my skin muffles her sobs and I rub her back softly. And I wonder, for the first time since I've met Spencer Carlin, if maybe she could be the one to teach _me _a thing or two about being in a relationship.


	15. PDA

**A/N: Um...well. I don't think I've ever not had anything to say between chapters before. Hmm. Here's the next one :)**

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* * *

**

I think we fell asleep on Spencer's bed, and Arthur must've tucked us in and managed to convince Paula to let us sleep together, because when I wake up, then first thing I breathe in is the familiar smell of Spencer's hair. God, I wish I could wake up like this every morning.

When I try to move around without disturbing her, I realize that my legs are tangled with hers and my arm is wrapped around her, and that if we were asleep like this the whole time, whoever got a look at us would definitely be suspicious of our relationship. I make a mental note to watch for glares from any of Spencer's family members today, then lean forward, kissing the back of Spencer's neck.

She shifts against me, sighing into her pillow, and I reach up to rub her shoulder until I can feel her stirring. She shuffles around a little, getting comfortable again, then abruptly rolls over so that we are face to face, and her eyes flutter open slowly. I smile lightly at her, brushing her bangs out of her eyes while she wakes up. "I'm not ashamed of you, you know," I whisper, because I was too busy consoling her to say it last night, and she blinks the sleep out of her eyes, then smiles back at me tiredly.

"Good morning to you, too," she mumbles, and I grin back at her, leaning in to kiss her gently.

"Better?"

"Mmm…a little."

I wrinkle my nose at her, brushing my thumb across her cheek as I tell her, "I have to go Christmas shopping today. Kyla and Chelsea have to have their presents mailed to them by Christmas, so if I don't hurry up and buy them, I won't be able to send them in time."

"Oh." Spencer pauses to yawn for a moment, then props herself up with one elbow, staring at me. "Can I go with you? I have presents to buy, too."

"I have to buy your present," I point out, pinching her cheek playfully, and she swats my hand away with a giggle.

"You're getting me something?"

"Did you not expect me to?" I counter, raising an eyebrow.

"I don't know. Maybe not after the way I freaked out last night."

My smile fades as I sit up, looking down at her seriously. "You didn't freak out, Spence. I shouldn't have lied to Kyla."

She rolls her eyes, sitting up too and resting her chin on my shoulder. "Okay. Let's not do the whole 'your fault, my fault' thing, especially not this early in the morning. I just want to have a good day today."

"Okay." I grin at her again, deciding to just let last night go. "Want to know a really good way to wake up in the morning?"

"Let me guess: kissing you?"

I frown. "Okay, that's creepy. We've only been together two days and you're already reading my mind."

"Yeah." She leans forward and pulls me to her, brushing her lips against mine. "So we've been dating for two days. But I've been paying attention for a whole lot longer."

* * *

After (an awkward) breakfast with Spencer's family, the two of us leave to go Christmas shopping together. Yeah, I let Spencer go with me, because I'm having trouble saying no to her at the moment. Plus, it's a whole day with Spencer, without her family around. How can I turn that down?

"So who do you have to buy gifts for?" she asks me as we enter the mall, and I look down at the list I have in my hand. I always forget someone every year, so this time, I have all the names written down.

"Well…you, of course, everyone in your family-"

"Wait, you're getting my family gifts?"

"Yeah, why not? They're letting me spend Christmas at their house; it's the least I could do, and I also want them to like me, so a little bribery couldn't hurt. Anyway, then there's Kyla, Chelsea, my mom, some cards for other family members, Madison, and…I'm debating over Aiden."

"You should get him something," Spencer tells me. "I don't want to be the reason you stop talking to each other." She raises an eyebrow suddenly. "Madison?"

I shrug. "Old habits die hard, I guess. We were best friends freshman year, until I 'turned' gay." I look over at her. "Anyway, who's on your Christmas list?"

"You," she replies easily, "and my family, of course, which includes my grandmother. I'm going to get Aiden something, too, so-"

"A restraining order?"

"No, probably a punching bag or something."

I grin. "And you could glue my face to it, too. I bet he'd love it."

Spencer rolls her eyes, smiling as we enter a small music store. "I'm probably going to give Kyla something, so you'll have to help me out with what she likes. And I was _going _to get Mrs. Yorke something, because she was my favorite teacher so far this year, but then she had to go and make that finger comment and ruin it."

I laugh. "Oh, yeah." Spencer blushes as I wiggle my fingers in front of her face, shoving my arm away and heading deeper into the store. I grin at her back, then turn and look through some nearby CDs, trying to find one Kyla might like. I already know that I'm getting Chelsea an art set, since she's really into that kind of stuff, but other than that, I'm totally winging it here. I have no idea what to get Spencer, either.

Shit. What the hell am I going to get Spencer?

I decide that there's nothing in here I want, and go to look for her. When I find her, she's standing in one of the aisles, holding a CD in her hand and staring down at it with furrowed eyebrows.

"What'cha looking at?" I ask, popping up next to her, and she jumps in surprise while I try to get a good look at the CD.

"This," she mumbles, sounding a little embarrassed, and I take the CD from her, reading the front. It's my dad's band.

"Oh." We're both silent for a moment while I turn the CD over in my hands. "This was the last one he made, before he…" She nods her understanding before I finish. Everyone knows who Raife Davies is, and everyone saw the news when he died. That's how I found out about it. It's indescribable, hearing about my father dying over the news. It's the worst thing that's ever happened to me. Even worse than being hated by most of the student body and by my mom. "Spence, I think he would've really liked you," I finally say, and I know she doesn't know how to reply, so I smile at her to let her know it's okay. "Anyway, there's nothing in here I really want. Have you found anything?"

"No, it's okay. We can go."

* * *

Three hours later, I have found presents, or at least know what I am getting, for every single person I wanted, _besides _Spencer. We've split up because she needs to get me something, too, and about ten minutes into shopping exclusively for Spencer's present, my phone buzzes with a text message from her.

**I'm done. Hbu?**

Already?

**Not even close.**

**Lol. Alright, call me when u r done. And don't over-think things.**

**K. **

I sigh, putting my phone away, tapping my foot and chewing on my lip. I'm literally standing in the middle of the mall, eyeing different stores and trying to figure out which one to go to. Jewelry! Aha. All girls like jewelry. I think. Ugh. Shouldn't I know this kind of stuff?

I head into the jewelry store, looking for something that catches my eye, and, to my relief, something does. "Um…how much is that?" I ask the man behind the counter, pointing to a golden necklace with a heart-shaped pendant at the end. I know I can afford it, but this is the easiest way to let him know I'm interested.

Once I've officially bought it, I tell him I want to get it engraved, and he says, "You'll have to schedule an appointment to get it done." Okay, so that's a little annoying, but whatever.

"Alright, when can I do that?"

"We're all booked up until after Christmas."

I blink at him, then glance down at the small box in my hand, inside of which is the necklace I've _already _bought, before he decided to give me this information. I force a smile. "Alright. I'll come back after Christmas, then." It takes everything I have not to throw a fit or get angry at him, and I stalk out of the store feeling like an idiot. Spencer's gift to me is probably amazing, and mine's going to just be some necklace that I can't get engraved until later.

The only thing I have left to do before I meet Spencer, is to go and get her a best friend gift to give her in front of her family, and then I'll be done.

* * *

We meet up at the food court for lunch, and the first thing Spencer asks me is, "How'd it go?"

I sigh. "Alright."

"You know it won't be a big deal to me if the gift isn't_ perfect_, Ash," she tells me, and I nod, not completely convinced, but glad that she's trying to make me feel better. "I mean, you could get me…a pair of socks, and I'd still-" She pulls a face. "Never mind, actually. I'd be pretty disappointed if you gave me a pair of socks."

I groan, leaning over to rest my forehead against the table, and I can sense the anxiousness in Spencer's tone as she asks, "You _didn't _get me pair of socks, did you?"

I can't help but laugh at that. "No, Spencer. But I might as well have."

"…A pair of shoes?"

"No. No clothing." I think. Jewelry isn't clothing, right?

"Then it'll be fine," she assures me, rubbing my back.

"Yeah?" I ask hesitantly, sitting up to look at her, and she gives me a half-smile, hesitates for a moment, then leans forward and presses a gentle kiss to my lips, in front of all the people eating around us. I know this is a big step for her towards going public with our relationship, and it makes my heart warm over as I kiss back.

"Lesbos," coughs a boy about our age as he walks past us, and I pull away from Spencer, biting into my bottom lip as I look at her face. Her eyes are still closed for a moment, and she turns away from me once she's opened them, planting an elbow on our table and a palm on her cheek. I can tell that she's hurt.

"Just ignore it," I mutter, and she gives me a barely visible nod, keeping her eyes locked on her food as she goes back to eating. She's totally closed up on me.

I look over in the direction the boy was walking, and see him with a small group of teenage boys. Most of them are glancing at us every few seconds, grinning and high-fiving and doing a bunch of the other stupid things that make me dislike boys so much. The one from earlier is in the very center of it all.

"I'll be right back," I whisper to Spencer, and I know she's watching me as I stand up and head for the group of boys.

Their smiles are dying by the time I near them, and I even hear one whisper, "Dude, she's coming over here…"

"Ash, don't."

"This'll just take a second," I call over my shoulder, hiding surprise at the fact that Spencer has stood up to come after me, and thankfully, she keeps her distance.

"Yeah, _Ash_, listen to your girlfrie-"

I have the one that spoke pinned to the wall a second later, and as it turns out, it's the boy who walked by us earlier. "What was that?" I might be a girl, but I could definitely take this guy. Especially when I'm mad. I don't even care that we're causing a scene, either. "If you have a problem, go ahead and tell me." All of his friends are too scared to help him, and I have to try hard not to laugh.

He stutters for a moment, and I look away from him briefly when I see there's a security guard nearing us. Spencer looks pretty worried, so I turn around quickly and pretend to punch the boy in the face, messing with him. He flinches, raising his arms and hands up, and I think back to the hurt expression on Spencer's face just a minute ago, then knee him in the groin without hesitation, pulling away as he crumples to the ground.

Several things happen all at once: his friends start shouting and hurry over to help him up, the security guard speeds up his pace, shouting too, and I head for Spencer, grabbing her hand and tugging her back towards our table urgently, even though I know I'm grinning and I feel like laughing. This is actually kind of fun. "C'mon, we've gotta get out of here before that guard catches us," I say, and Spencer looks like she's going to argue, but then she glances over her shoulder and sees a second security guard headed for us, and simply follows my lead as I snatch up all of our bags and take off at a run through the wide halls of the food court, keeping my fingers laced with Spencer's.

"You're insane!" she exclaims to me as I practically skid around a corner, trying to remember the way back to the front of the mall. Within seconds, we're elbowing our way through crowds of people, keeping our heads down so that no one looking for us will recognize us, and weaving around people talking on cell phones, reading magazines, and testing perfume.

"Maybe," I finally call back to Spencer, grinning at her. "But he hurt your feelings."

"That doesn't mean you had to take away his ability to have children," Spencer retorts, though I can tell she's getting the same kind of rush out of all this excitement as I am. "Besides, since when are you so protective?"

I scoff as we finally find our way out of the mall, and we both walk to my car quickly, on the off-chance we might still be caught. "I've always been protective of you. Since the day I met you." I look around hastily as we get into my car, making sure we really are home-free before I pull out of the parking lot. I sigh in relief once we're on the road. "Well, I'm willing to bet that that's the craziest thing you've ever done sober, Spencer."

She wrinkles her nose. "And I'm willing to bet that you're not going to be making any more bets that have anything to do with me. Right?"

I can practically feel my face going red. "Um. Right. Let's go home."


	16. The Gay Test

When couples kiss for the first time, there is supposedly some kind of huge firework-fest going on in both of their mouths the whole time; this electric shock that starts at their lips and flows through their bodies until it reaches their fingers and toes. I thought that was one of the dumbest things I'd ever heard. Then I kissed Spencer.

The second kiss is supposed to be _almost _as amazing, but the feeling's more familiar, so it isn't, and same with the third. It's a little less mind-blowing than the second. The pattern continues with the fourth, fifth, sixth, and so on…until you're old and married and all you ever do is peck occasionally and it feels like something you're obligated to do. Of course, _I've _never thought of myself as being married (or old) one day, but if I did get married, I wouldn't want kissing to turn into something I felt _obligated _to do. I'd have to marry someone who I'd never lose that spark with, who I'd _never _get used to kissing.

Spencer and I work that way. With Spencer, every kiss feels like the first to me.

I'm only mentioning this because it's what's currently on my mind at the moment, considering it's been a few hours since we got back from the mall, and I'm lying down on Spencer's bed, making out with her while her body's nearly flat on top of mine. We've been going at it ever since her parents went to bed, which was like…an hour ago? I don't know. I've lost track of time. But I do know that I'm supposed to be sleeping on the couch right now, courtesy of Paula Carlin's ability to boss Arthur around when she really wants to. There's no way I'm leaving this bed anytime soon, though.

Currently, Spencer's hands are in my hair, helping anchor my lips up to hers, and both of my hands are on her hips. I'm desperately itching to slide them upwards, under her shirt, but so far I've successfully kept my hands in check, remembering the rules I so stupidly had Spencer set for us.

No, no, they weren't stupid. But they feel stupid right now.

Spencer catches me off-guard by breaking our kiss and moving her lips to my neck for the first time in…well, _ever_, and I'm even more surprised when I have to stifle a moan, my breath coming out in short pants as I tilt my head to the side so she has better access to my skin. "Spence…can I touch you?" I breathe out in a rush, shutting my eyes tightly when she nips at my neck.

"Where?" she whispers, her voice laced thickly with lust, and I'm pretty sure the temperature in her room just shot up at least ten more scorching degrees. As if it wasn't hot enough in here already. Her lips latch onto a spot on my neck, and her tongue slides against my skin, sending a tingling sensation to more than one place in my body. I can't muffle my next moan. She pulls away again, her breath sliding along my neck as she exhales, then mutters, "Never mind where. _Yes_." And I know that she is trusting me with her body right now, even if she doesn't realize it.

My hands are under her shirt in a fraction of a second, exploring her back and stomach while she sucks harder on my neck. I'm pretty sure if she wasn't seventeen, I'd be tearing her clothes off right now if she'd let me. But for right now, her skin quivering beneath my fingertips feels pretty damn good.

Still…I'm not used to this. Wanting something I can't have, when it's so close to being mine. I went through this for a couple of weeks before Spencer decided what she wanted, and now here I am again, but the wait's going to be a lot longer than two weeks this time. Knowing how I feel right now, with Spencer above me like this, convinces me that waiting five months for sex with Spencer will definitely be worth it, but I also know that it'd definitely be nice if Spencer could refresh my memory of what this feels like once in a while. Because I know that if I can remember this feeling, of her lips on me and my arms wrapped around her, I'll never ever want to leave her.

"Spencer, we have to do this more often," I tell her just before she kisses my lips again, and she pulls away after only a few seconds, smiling down at me softly. "Okay?"

Her smile widens, and then her lips are on mine again, and she mumbles her response into my mouth.

"Do I look like I'm complaining?"

* * *

When I come out of Spencer's closet the next morning in my outfit for the day, she laughs at me. _Hard_.

"It's…um…" She barely stifles another snicker at the murderous glare I'm giving her. "It matches your pants?"

I'm wearing a turtleneck.

"This is your fault," I snap, brushing past her to go look in the bathroom mirror. I cringe when I do. It's worse than I thought.

"How? You kissed me first. What was it you said?" She pretends to think for a second, then mocks me in a husky voice. "'I've been waiting to get my hands on you all day, Spence.' Right?"

"That wasn't code for 'give me a hickey'," I reply curtly, pulling back part of Spencer's rather disgusting article of clothing in order to get another look at the hickey Spencer left on my neck.

"You seemed to be enjoying it at the time."

"Yeah, because that's how hickeys work. You like them when you're getting them, but you hate them in the morning. Especially when you're currently living with the family of your secret girlfriend, and the only turtleneck she has is the ugliest thing you've ever seen put on someone's body. And if it looks ugly on _me_, you know it's ugly."

"My grandma bought that for me," Spencer whines.

"Your grandma has an awful sense of style," I retort, letting the material snap back into place against my neck. "And it's itchy." I scratch my stomach through the sweater for emphasis. "Don't you have anything else?"

"Not that wouldn't raise questions."

"And _this _wouldn't?"

"Er…well, I don't know. We'll have to test it."

"I'm not showing up in front of your family like this. Do you have makeup I can just hide it with?"

Spencer raises an eyebrow at me. "Have you _seen _that thing?"

I groan, spinning around and pinning her to the wall of the bathroom without warning. She looks a little surprised, and I look at her pointedly. "If I have one, you get one, too."

She swallows, squirming slightly, but we both know she's not going anywhere. "See, as good of an idea as that sounds like, it's already suspicious enough that you're wearing a turtleneck. If we both go downstairs with our necks covered, it'll be a total giveaway, and we'll be busted on your third day here. And then you'll spend Christmas alone, I'll get sent to some kind of correctional facility by my mom, and we'll both be miserable." She tilts her head to the side slightly, and I frown at her. "Or you can tough it out for a couple of days, and spend Christmas with my family and me…" She leans forward, kissing the corner of my mouth quickly. "…and continue to sneak up to my room every night."

I swallow, looking away from her for a moment, then tug on the collar of this stupid sweater again, letting out a quiet sigh. "How long are we going to keep this a secret?"

"Just until it fades away, Ash."

"Not what I meant," I deadpan, my frown coming back again, and Spencer lifts her hand to mine, pulling my hand away from my collar.

"Oh." She bites her lip. "Well…I don't really know."

"Yesterday, at the mall…I mean, it was nice. But I want to be able to be like that all the time, not just when we're around people we'll never see again, or when we're alone. Aiden knows, Kyla knows…I honestly don't know how much longer it'll stay a secret. And I'd rather you come out when it's your choice, instead of being forced after everyone else has found out from other people."

Spencer sighs, looking over at me dejectedly. "How do you expect me to come out to other people? I haven't even come out to myself yet. Yeah, I like you, Ash. A lot. And you're a girl. And I don't and never have really liked guys, and recently, I've been checking out girls, and thinking about them a lot more than I think about guys. But before I say _it _officially, I want to be completely sure. And right now the only thing I'm sure about is that I want to be with you. Does that make me gay?"

I'm silent for a moment, absorbing all of this, then lick my lips, giving her a determined look. "Alright, come on. We're gonna go figure this out."

A few minutes later, we're walking through the kitchen on our way to the front door, and my car keys are in my hand. We pass Glen on the way out, who raises an eyebrow at me curiously. "What's with the ugly turtleneck?"

"It's cold out," I snap in response, refusing to look back at him, and Spencer hides a grin as I pull her out through the front door. "I'm changing into another shirt in the car," I mutter to her.

* * *

"Okay…what about her?"

Spencer wrinkles her nose, drumming her fingers on the table between us, then shaking her head. "No."

"No? I think she's kind of hot."

"I don't."

"Huh." I straighten up, spotting another girl walking in through the front doors of Grey's, where Spencer and I are sitting together and drinking coffee. "Her?"

"Nope."

I glance over at Spencer, then roll my eyes when I see where her eyes are glued. "You are such a liar, Spence. You're totally checking her out."

"Am not," Spencer argues, but I watch as a pink tint covers her cheeks.

"Come on. If you're not honest, this isn't going to work."

She sighs. "Fine. She's…okay."

"That's it?"

"Um…she has nice legs."

"What do you like about them?"

"I don't know," Spencer groans out, glaring at me. "This is too weird, Ash. You're my _girlfriend_."

"Well, don't think of me as your girlfriend right now. Think of me as your gay best friend who's trying to help you figure out whether or not you like girls." Another girl walks in, and I gesture towards her. "And her? Let's say she was gay, and she liked you. Just based on looks, would you ever consider dating her?"

Spencer sighs, then turns slightly to follow my gaze, and I watch her eyes do a quick once-over of the girl I've pointed out. She swallows, then turns back towards me. "Honestly…yeah."

Something inside of me sinks just a teeny bit, and I frown at her. "You would?"

She rolls her eyes at me. "You're getting jealous now, aren't you?"

"…No."

"You're supposed to be my gay best friend, remember?"

I stick my tongue out at her. "Maybe I'm your gay best friend who has a secret crush on you."

She raises an eyebrow, smirking slightly. "Now why does that sound so familiar?"

"I said a _secret_ crush, Spence."

"Oh, right."

I see the door open out of the corner of my eye again, and turn to see who is entering. This time, it's a guy. "Okay, him. Do you think he's cute?"

"…Yeah. For a guy, I guess."

"So you think he's cute?"

"Sure."

"And based on looks, would you date him if he asked you out?"

"Um…I _guess _so. Maybe."

"Alright. So who do you feel more attracted to: _him_, or the girl I just pointed out?"

"Which girl?"

"The last one."

Spencer bites her lip, then mumbles, "The girl."

"Okay." I pause for a moment, trying to think of what to do next. "Ooh, I have an idea. Role play. I want you to imagine this with me: you're in a club by yourself. The music's turned up really loudly, the base is all heavy and thumping and all that…and you're on the dance floor, dancing by yourself." I pause again, looking over at her. "Close your eyes, by the way, it adds to the effect." She looks aggravated with me, but obeys. "Okay, are you imagining it?"

"Sure."

"Alright. So you're dancing alone, and someone comes up behind you and asks you to dance, but you haven't seen who it is yet, you've only heard their voice. However, you do know that it's a stranger; someone you haven't met before. Still imagining?"

"Yup."

"Kay. So…where was I? Oh, yeah. So you turn around, and this person's really good looking. Let's say…brown hair, blue eyes, and a great body. So you agree to dance with them. Got that in your head?"

"_Yes_, Ash."

"Open your eyes."

Spencer raises an eyebrow as her eyes snap open, glaring at me. "What was the point of that?"

"Was it a guy or a girl?" I ask her simply. She looks confused.

"Didn't you say-?"

"I didn't say anything," I tell her. "Did you imagine a guy or a girl?"

She leans forward and puts her head in her hands, staring down at the table as she mumbles, "A girl." She glances up at me hopefully. "Are you sure you didn't say either way?"

I shake my head. "I just said it was a person." I clear my throat. "Okay, one more thing, Spence."

"What?"

"This is something I did when I was trying to figure out if I was gay, and it really put things into perspective for _me_, so I'll try it with you. Just imagine a regular day at King High. The crowded halls, the boring classrooms, the students _in _the crowded halls and boring classrooms, me, you, Aiden, Kyla, Madison…you and I meeting at our lockers between lunch and Contemporary Lit…all the normal stuff. Could you ever see yourself doing everything you do every day…but as the out and proud gay girl?"

She looks up at me at my last few words, her eyebrows furrowed and her expression anxious. "No," she answers honestly, shaking her head, and I lean forward, forcing a half-smile as I look back at her. "What does that mean, though? As far as whether or not I'm gay?"

I shrug. "Nothing. But if you_ are_ gay…it means you're not ready to come out yet."


	17. Glen's Request

Spencer's brother Clay takes after Arthur in that he is one of the nicest guys I've ever met.

At nearly eight o'clock at night on the day after Spencer and I go out for coffee, the doorbell rings while Spencer's family and I are all watching television together. Everyone is up in a second, already knowing who it is, and when Arthur opens the door, we are greeted by the boy I've seen in all of the family photos, aka Clay.

When it's my turn to meet Clay, he raises an eyebrow at me, looking around at his family. "Don't tell me: you guys needed to replace me and just _had _to adopt another?"

"Clay, this is Spencer's friend, Ashley," Arthur supplies through a smile, and Clay offers his hand, so I shake it.

"She's _gay_," Glen adds, and I roll my eyes at him.

"Nice to meet you, Ashley," Clay tells me, seemingly unaffected by what Glen has just told him, and Paula looks slightly perturbed by her adopted son's easy acceptance of my sexuality.

Arthur takes Clay's bags and carries them upstairs to Clay's room, leaving me to feel awkward in the middle of this family reunion, and everyone eventually heads for the living room to sit down. Clay talks about his life at college, and I drift in and out of the conversation, not wanting to get too involved considering Clay deserves time to catch up with his family without my input. At one point, after Arthur gets back downstairs, he grabs some firewood from outside and gets a fire going in the fireplace. I'm glad I'm not wearing that turtleneck from yesterday; Spencer's hickey faded a little overnight last night, so I was able to cover it up with makeup this morning.

"So, you and Spencer are good friends, then?" It takes me a second to pull myself from my thoughts enough to realize that Clay is talking to me. And that I've been absentmindedly tracing random shapes on Spencer's back with my finger for the past five minutes, and she hasn't been complaining. I take my hand off of her back quickly before I reply.

"Yeah."

"And Glen said you were…"

"Gay." I finish, nodding. Glen and Paula and even Spencer look uncomfortable. Clay looks between Spencer and me for a moment, and our faces both flush, already knowing what his next question will be before he asks it. "And we're really good _friends_."

"Spencer's not gay, Clay," Paula cuts in curtly, and Spencer shifts a little beside me, resting her hands in her lap. "You know that."

Clay shrugs. "Well, you never know. I haven't seen you guys since summer. Besides, it's no big deal; it doesn't matter to me whether someone's gay or straight."

Glen looks at Clay like he's crazy, and Paula replies, "I think it's a very big deal. Especially in the eyes of God."

"Here we go," I hear Spencer mumble only loudly enough for me to hear, but Arthur intervenes before any arguments start.

"Hey, in celebration of Clay's return, I suggest we renew Carlin Family Game Night!"

All three Carlin children collectively groan as Arthur practically pulls the Clue board game out of thin air and sets it down on the coffee table.

"If we're gonna do this, we need to make it interesting," Glen tells him, grabbing the Clue box and tossing it to the side. "Let's play some poker. I've been practicing, dad, so get ready to lose."

"I'll get the chips," Clay offers, standing up. "Are they still in the games cupboard?"

"Yeah. So are the cards," Glen tells him, and Clay heads across the room to get both, tossing the cards to Arthur and then bringing the large case of chips over himself. "We should make this interesting," Glen suggests, his eyes on me as he says this, though I'm not sure why. "Whoever wins at the end gets to make a request, and it has to be obeyed, no matter what." He looks over at his dad, next. "So if you're so sure you'll win, then you should be fine with that, shouldn't you, dad?"

"Of course. I agree, Glen. Whoever wins gets a request. It can't be life-changing, or ridiculously impossible to follow, though."

"Deal," Glen tells him, shaking his hand. "But everyone has to agree before we start."

"Hey," I whisper in Spencer's ear, a thought occurring to me. "If either of us wins, we can make Paula let me sleep in your bed every night…"

Spencer quirks an eyebrow at that. "Ash and I are in."

"Awesome. Clay? Mom?"

Paula rolls her eyes, nodding her agreement, and Clay rubs his hands together, already scooting over to the coffee table and beginning to evenly divide the chips.

Less than ten minutes into the whole thing, Paula's already out, which is a bit of a relief, even though she wasn't really trying. I'd rather not be at the mercy of Paula while she has that free request, especially since it'd probably for me to get the hell out and never talk to her daughter again. Then again, that falls under both life-changing _and_ ridiculously impossible.

Clay is out next, much to my disappointment, but that means that Spencer and I have a two in four chance of winning. Arthur actually isn't doing too good at the moment, due to a large fraction of his chips being lost to me just a couple of hands ago, and it looks like I could really have a chance at winning this thing. Spencer on the other hand, has the least amount of chips out of anyone, and I contemplate sneaking some of mine to her under the table, but just as I've finished this thought, Arthur wins a hand against her and takes the rest of her chips. She huffs, crossing her arms, and I swallow nervously. It's just down to Glen, Arthur, and me, with everyone else sitting nearby, watching us.

"No cheating," Glen snaps when Spencer tries to get a peek at his cards, and she raises her hands defensively.

"What? I'm not in the game anymore."

"Like you won't tell Ashley what I have," Glen retorts, and Spencer rolls her eyes, sending me a wink when nobody's watching. Glen looks over at Arthur curiously. "So what're you playing for, dad?"

"I haven't decided yet," Arthur replies, his brow furrowed in concentration as he stares at the cards on the table. Glen's already out of this hand, so it's me and Arthur with a big pile of chips in the middle.

"What about you, lez?"

"Don't call me that. And I'm not telling you unless I win."

"Fine. I won't tell either of you mine unless _I _win, then."

After considerable thought, Arthur not only adds enough chips into the pot to match my amount, but he goes ahead and shoves in the rest of his stack. I have to put all of my chips in if I want to keep going, but if I do that and lose, I'm out of the running for the request. What the heck; I have three aces, so I do it. Arthur has a full house, which is better.

An expletive slips out of my mouth before I can stop it as Arthur takes all of my money, and I immediately add, "Sorry, Paula." Dropping the F bomb in her living room is probably not going to get her to like me.

"Call me Mrs. Carlin."

Ouch.

With only Glen and Arthur left, they are going back and forth over and over, neither of them really gaining much ground on the other for over half an hour. It's tiring watching them, and I eventually get up to go get something to drink from the kitchen. Spencer goes with me, and unexpectedly pinches my side once we're standing in front of the open fridge. I giggle, bumping her hip with mine. "See anything you like?" I ask, gesturing towards the fridge, and knowing full-well what I've set her up to say.

"Yeah, could you get the milk for me?"

"I think that hurt my ego a little bit."

"_I _think my family's just in the other room," Spencer says lightly, and I roll my eyes, handing her the gallon of milk. She goes to pour herself a glass.

"You never take risks."

"Uh, I believe I ran away from mall security with you."

"Yeah, but I started that." I raise an eyebrow as cheering comes from the other room in the form of Glen shouting that he's finally beaten his father at poker. "Great. What do you think he'll ask for?"

"Probably something perverted." I pour my own glass of milk, and Spencer grabs a few chocolate chip cookies out of the pantry, handing a couple of them to me.

"Yum," I approve, dipping one into my milk.

"Only the best for my-"

"Ashley Davies!" Glen calls, skidding into the kitchen and pointing an accusing finger at me. "I have a request, and it isn't life-changing _or_ ridiculously impossible, since I know you used to date Aiden and various other male specimens."

"He's so weird," I mutter to Spencer, and she grins.

Paula, Arthur, and Clay make their way into the kitchen in time to see Glen demand, "I want you to kiss me."

Spencer and I both spit out our milk, and I apologize quickly to "Mrs. Carlin" again for messing up her kitchen floor, then turn back to Glen. "Um…no."

"_Yes_. On the lips. For at least ten seconds. _With _tongue."

I can't believe he just said that in front of his parents.

"Glen…" Arthur starts to say, and I set my milk down, crossing my arms.

"You said one request, dad. This won't be life-changing, because Ashley's _gay_ so it's not like she'll fall in love with me and we'll elope or something." I snort. That's such bull shit. He's doing this because he's hoping it'll turn me back or something. Don't flatter yourself, Glen. "And it's not impossible or even improbable, because according to the ones on the basketball team, she's kissed plenty of guys before."

"Yeah, back before I realized I was gay," I deadpan. I consider rubbing in his face the fact that I'd rather kiss Spencer than him, but decide it isn't a good idea in front of Paula. "Asking me to kiss a guy is like…asking Spencer to kiss a girl!" Haha. I made a funny. Only Spencer gets it, though, and she doesn't look too amused. She looks worried. Probably because her girlfriend might have to make out with her brother. "And we wouldn't want Spencer kissing a girl now, would we?"

In the end, things go further and further downhill until I end up having to kiss Glen in front of his entire family, _including_ Spencer. It's gross and icky and completely embarrassing, and I really just want to go brush my teeth as soon as it's over, but I settle for a glass of milk and another cookie while Spencer watches me with this subdued look on her face. Glen looks happy, of course, Arthur and Clay look disappointed in him, and Paula looks like she's ready to jump on the Glen and Ashley bandwagon.

"So?" Glen finally asks, smugly, and I glare at him.

"That was disgusting," I spit out between sips of milk. "Don't ever kiss me again." His smile is gone in a second. "And I'm definitely still gay."

* * *

Around half an hour later, I'm upstairs in Spencer's bathroom, taking a shower and brushing my teeth while I'm in there. I'm definitely brushing a lot harder than usual.

There's a knock on the bathroom door, and I glance over towards it, then call, "It's unlocked!"

"You're in the shower!" Spencer shouts back.

"So!? You can come in!"

Spencer laughs, and the door swings open a moment later. I grin. Alright, I didn't think she'd do it, but if Spencer wants to see me in all of my naked glory, she can. Whenever she wants.

Instead of what I expected, which was a full perusal of my figure, followed by a dark blush, I am met with a Spencer who is walking in with her back to the shower, a towel in her hand. "I'm leaving this here!" she shouts over the sound of the running water, and I pout, even though she can't see it.

"No turning around?!"

She shakes her head and sets the towel down on the counter, then leaves the bathroom, closing the door behind her while I chuckle at her shyness.

When I'm done with my shower, I walk into her room with the towel on, and she glances up at me from the book she's reading on her bed. Her face pinks slightly, and I notice it.

"Hey, this is nothing. Wait until you see what's underneath," I tell her, grinning as I move to drop the towel, and she lets out a small squeak and covers her eyes. I roll mine, hardly believing this is the same girl I was making out with two nights ago. "Spencer…" I practically purr, walking over to her and climbing onto the bed, still in my towel. I've tucked it in at the top so that it won't fall. "…are you really gonna make me sleep on the couch again tonight?" She peeks through her fingers at me, and I grin. "Don't you want to wake up next to me in the morning?" I ask lightly, sliding a hand up her arm and leaning in to kiss her, but she turns away, wrinkling her nose.

"You kissed my brother."

"Yeah, and it was gross. And I just brushed my teeth for like ten minutes straight. See?" I exhale right into her face, hoping she can smell the toothpaste.

"God, eat a tic-tac or something, Ash," Spencer says, waving her hand in front of her face. I sniff, trying to smell my own breath, but she grins at me a moment later to let me know that she's joking.

"Please, just one. Before I go to bed," I beg, and we both know I'm not talking about tic-tacs. Spencer shakes her head.

"You already got one: from Glen."

"I didn't want that one, though."

"No," she replies simply, shaking her head. "It's your punishment for kissing him."

"What else was I supposed to do?" I complain.

"Maybe in the morning," she says lightly, ignoring my question.

"Spencer." It comes out more serious-sounding than I intended, but it gets her to look at me. "Kiss me."

"Ashley." She deadpans. "No."

I sigh. "Fine." I'm standing up a moment later, heading into her closet to change, and I can't lie: I'm pretty frustrated that Spencer won't kiss me just because I was forced to kiss her brother. It's not like I wanted to do it. I'd much rather kiss _her_.

When I've changed into pajamas and made sure my hair has dried out almost completely, I come out of the closet (hehe), and find Spencer lying down on her bed with her hands on her stomach while she stares up at the ceiling. "Well, I'm gonna head down to the couch. See you tomorrow."

She sits up and looks over at me as I walk to her door, and I pause with my hand on the doorknob, because it looks like she wants to say something. "…Bye." I give her a curt nod, then leave the room.

* * *

Thirty minutes later, I'm back on the couch for the third night in a row, all by myself while everyone else gets to sleep in a bed. Don't get me wrong; this couch is actually really comfortable. But it has nothing on sleeping with Spencer in her bed. And the night before last, at least I got to make out with Spencer for over an hour before I went to bed, so it was easy to fall asleep feeling content. Last night wasn't as easy, but it was still okay, because Spencer and I were okay. Tonight, I'm uncomfortable, and my insides feel all twisted up and squeezed. It's like I can't go to bed without kissing Spencer goodnight first.

I close my eyes, trying to force myself to sleep, and I'm actually considering going upstairs to check and see if Spencer is asleep. Maybe if I can sneak a kiss while she's unconscious, it'll still be good enough for me to sleep. I nearly scoff aloud at that idea. I have seriously just considered sneaking into Spencer's room to kiss her while she's asleep.

A small shuffling sound from near the stairs alerts me to the fact that one of the Carlin children is currently awake and in the room with me, but I keep my eyes closed, in case it's just Glen or Clay coming down for a snack or something. I don't feel like talking to either of them right now, especially Glen.

Instead of heading for the kitchen, though, a person I'm now pretty sure is Spencer sits down beside my "sleeping" form on the couch, then runs a few fingers through my hair. Well, _this _is interesting. I decide to keep my eyes closed and see what happens. Her touch is so soft that I'm completely sure this is Spencer, now, especially since I can smell that shampoo that I'm always talking about. I used it when I took a shower, so my hair smells like Spencer's. Wait. Maybe's it's _my _hair I'm smelling, and Glen just has a really soft touch. Crap.

"You are so beautiful," I hear Spencer whisper from above me, and it takes everything I have to keep my face neutral so that it looks like I'm sleeping. Especially considering I'm super-relieved that this _is _actually Spencer. And she called me beautiful. I think I can feel my heart melting a little bit.

She shifts a little on the couch, and a warm pair of lips are against mine a second later. Spencer gasps in surprise when I smile and kiss her back, then immediately pulls away from me. I let out a soft whine, opening my eyes to see her staring back at me, while her cheeks are turning dark red. "Have you been awake the whole time?"

I nod, giving her a sheepish look. "Sorry. I thought you might be Glen or Clay, and once you said something, I…wanted to hear what else you were going to say."

Her blush darkens even further, and I know she's embarrassed not only because of what she said, but because I've caught her sneaking down here to do…well, exactly what I'd thought about doing. "I can't sleep."

"Me either," I tell her honestly. "Can I sneak up to your room with you?"

"Clay's a light sleeper," Spencer tells me. "He actually caught me coming down here. I had to say I was hungry and wanted a snack, so I don't think we should risk trying to sneak back up together."

We settle into a comfortable silence after that, and I stroke Spencer's cheek with my thumb for a moment, watching her lean into the touch with a small smile on her face.

"My mom wants you and Glen together now," she whispers all of a sudden, not looking perturbed at all by the idea, and it occurs to me that she probably thinks it's just as hilarious as I do.

"Not gonna happen. There's only one Carlin I have any interest in," I tell her.

"I know," she replies quietly, her eyes piercing mine, and I'm a little too absorbed in them to come up with a proper answer. The corner of her mouth upturns. "Ash?"

"Hmm?"

"Nothing. I was just wondering if you were going to say anything."

"Oh." I raise an eyebrow. "Like what?"

"I don't know. Some kind of flirty pick-up line I can roll my eyes at?"

I grin at her. "Spencer Carlin, would you like to sleep with me on this couch?" I scoot over slightly, gesturing towards the empty space I've created.

"I'm not a huge law-breaker."

"We can cuddle?" I ask uncertainly, wincing as soon as I've said it. If Kyla could see me right now…

"Only until you fall asleep," Spencer agrees, getting up and then joining me on the couch again, but this time, she snuggles up next to me under the covers, and I drape an arm around her waist, letting my hand rest on her stomach.

"I'll stay up all night," I promise her even as my eyes are sliding shut.


	18. Caught Part One

**A/N: I've written enough of this story by now that the plot/conflict(s)/ending are kind of coming together in my head, and I'm guessing (but this is an extremely rough estimate) that this is probably going to be around 150,000 words by the end, and probably in between 50 and 60 chapters. But like I said, it's just a guess, and it might end up being a little longer than that. I doubt it'll be shorter, but that's a possibility too, I suppose. Anyway, that means that if you've reached this point in the story, you're about 1/3 of the way through. Congrats :)**

* * *

Today is the day I have decided to ask Paula to let Spencer and I redecorate Spencer's bedroom. We've got Arthur for backup in case we need it, so that bedroom is most _definitely_ getting redecorated. Asking Paula first is mostly a formality.

"Why do _I _have to ask her?" I complain to Spencer as we head for her parents' bedroom, two cups of coffee in each of our hands. They're an early-morning bribe for Paula, and we figured we'd bring Arthur one, too.

"Because it was your idea, and she already hates you anyway, so it doesn't matter if she gets mad at you for suggesting it."

"Thanks."

"You asked."

I roll my eyes as I knock on her parents' bedroom door, turning to look at her fully. "Doesn't it bother you that your mom doesn't approve of me?"

Spencer goes from smiley to serious, and I feel a little bad for asking. "Yeah," she finally says. "I guess it's just easier to joke about it."

I want to reply, but I can hear footsteps approaching the door, and it opens a moment later to reveal a sleepy-looking Arthur on the other side. "Good morning, girls. Isn't it a little early for you two to be up?"

"We brought coffee," Spencer tells him, holding out her extra cup, and Arthur examines it suspiciously for a moment before he accepts it.

"What's the occasion?"

"We want to redecorate Spencer's room today," I explain, and he smiles knowingly, stepping to the side so we can enter the room.

"Paula, honey, the girls are here to see you."

Spencer's mother sits up and rubs her eyes, trying to wake up, and I have to hold back a laugh. Paula has major bed-head. Spencer and I exchange smirks.

"We brought you a cup of coffee," Spencer tells her, taking one from me and handing it over to her mom, who accepts it thankfully. "And Ashley wants to ask you a question." I glare at her, but Spencer just gives me an expectant nod in Paula's direction.

"Uh…we think it'd be cool to redecorate Spencer's room a little bit. Considering she's seventeen and all."

"Redecorate?" Paula echoes sleepily, taking a large sip of her coffee. "Okay," she yawns out, and this time Spencer and I are exchanging looks of surprise.

"Great," Spencer says quickly, grabbing my hand and pulling me from the room. "You witnessed it, dad. She agreed!" she calls back over her shoulder, and Arthur laughs from the bedroom.

"Okay, honey."

"She was half-asleep, Spence," I point out as Spencer tugs me up the stairs to her bedroom. "I'm not sure that counts."

"That's the idea," Spencer replies easily, already reaching for the nearest stuffed animal and tossing it to me. "Now let's start cleaning this place out."

I throw the bear over my shoulder, out into the hall, and immediately start for the most annoying object in her room.

"No, not the-!"

The Kelly Clarkson poster tears with a satisfying ripping noise as I pry it from the wall, crumpling it up into a ball and then throwing it to Spencer's feet. She looks like she might cry, but I feel absolutely zero remorse. "You're not a preteen anymore, Spence. It's time you got some _real _music up on your walls."

She looks down at the crumpled poster, then back up at me. "I can't believe you just did that."

"Sorry," I reply easily, not sounding sorry at all. Little bits and pieces of the poster are still taped to the wall, and I start picking them off and flicking them to the floor. "I'll buy you some new posters next time we go to the mall."

"But Kelly Clarkson's been my favorite since…_forever_."

I turn slightly, raising an eyebrow at her. "Are you sure you didn't just have a major crush on her?"

Spencer's eyes narrow dangerously. "Oh, you'll pay for that."

Before I can defend myself, she's pinned me down on the bed and is straddling my waist, smirking down at me evilly. I raise an eyebrow again. "Spencer, I would've never thought you were into this kind of stuff, especially since we've still got five more months before you turn-"

I interrupt myself to let out a laugh as her fingers begin tickle my sides mercilessly, trying to grab her wrists, but she quickly takes both of my hands in one of hers and pins them above my head effortlessly. Wow. Apparently, Spencer can be strong when she wants to be. "Spencer!" I eventually gasp out through my laughter, trying to work my way out of her grasp, but she just smirks down at me and tightens her hold on my hands.

"Promise me you'll buy me a _Kelly Clarkson _poster when we go shopping," she demands, almost reminding me of a pouting preteen. Maybe this room does suit her, after all.

"Okay, okay!" I agree quickly, and she releases my hands, looking satisfied as she starts to stand up.

I roll us over before she can, trapping her beneath me. I'm pretty sure my grin is far more smug than her earlier one was. "Now who's at whose mercy?" I'm still a little out of breath from laughing so hard, which takes a lot of the sting out of my question, but I'm pretty sure I still got my point across.

"Hmm…I think you're still at mine," she responds cheekily, sitting up and pressing her lips to mine. I blink a few times in surprise, then grin against her lips and kiss back. Who cares if I'm just proving her right? Kissing Spencer is my favorite pastime. Followed by talking to Spencer, and then many other things that just involve being around Spencer. My life practically revolves around her now.

I feel her finger brush down my jaw line as her tongue slips into my mouth, and I slide down a little further so that she can sit up fully. She props herself up with both hands behind her and kind of leans back leisurely as we kiss, which I have to admit is a major turn-on, because it makes her look like she knows exactly what she's doing, even though I know for a fact that she's way more new to all of this than I am.

"Hey Spencer, do you-? Oh."

Shit.

I am off of Spencer in a second, wiping at my mouth as we both turn to face the doorway of Spencer's room. Staring back at us, lips parted in surprise, is...

* * *

**A/N: Teehee. Yeah, I'm really cutting this off right here. Don't worry, though, I'm updating again in a couple hours with the second part of this chapter. I just thought this would be a nice place for a cliffhanger. **


	19. Caught Part Two

**A/N: Part two! **

* * *

Paula Carlin.

No, I'm totally kidding. It's just Clay. Thankfully.

"It's not what it looks like," Spencer spits out quickly, and even _I _have to shoot her an incredulous look at that. Seriously, Spence? You had your tongue down my throat. It's pretty obvious _exactly _what we were doing. Just be glad it was Clay that walked in, and not Paula or Glen. "Ash had something in her mouth, and I was, um……getting it out with my tongue."

Clay stares at her for a long moment, then lets out a loud laugh out of nowhere, shaking his head. I laugh, too, because I was holding it in anyway and just didn't want to let it out during the awkward silence. "Spence, it's okay," he finally tells her, crossing his arms. "I could tell last night that something was up. Why do you think I asked if you two were just friends? And I heard you come upstairs at like two in the morning, anyway."

Spencer fidgets for a moment, and I keep silent, letting the two of them talk it out. "But…mom and Glen-"

"Don't know, right? I'll keep quiet until you're ready." He shrugs. "I've known you since you were seven, Spencer. You've never really been interested in boys."

Spencer and I exchange looks at that, because she still hasn't figured out whether or not she's gay, and here Clay is, telling her she's been showing signs of being gay ever since she was little. Awkward. "Um…yeah. Thanks, Clay."

"No problem," he says easily, and I kind of wish I had a brother like Clay. Don't get me wrong, Kyla is amazing. She's done stuff for me that most people would never dream of doing for a family member, and she helped me turn my life around when I was at rock bottom. But I'll still always remember how big of a deal she made out of it when she found out I was into girls. Clay is totally just taking it in stride. "I'll see you later. Have fun…doing what you're doing."

Spencer looks over at me as Clay leaves the room, biting into her lip anxiously. "Well…what now?"

"Now?" I echo, raising an eyebrow. I glance around the room fleetingly. "Now, we make this room look like a girl in her senior year at King High lives here."

* * *

We spend all day up in Spencer's room, tossing stuffed animals out into the hallway, along with anything else childish. Paula comes upstairs to see what we're doing a couple of times, and she looks disgruntled on both occasions, so I can only assume that she disagrees with what we are doing but can't think of a way to get us to stop. Glen comes in to visit us for a while, too, but he flirts with me the entire time until I finally snap at him to leave.

The only thing we can't change are the pink walls, which sucks because Spencer doesn't even like pink, and I most certainly don't, either. We have to wait until some other time to paint the walls, and until then, everything we've just done is basically useless as long as Spencer has pink walls. I point this out to her, and she says that her dad's already agreed to help her paint them blue sometime.

When we're finally done, Spencer and I collapse on her bed (which now has new sheets and pillowcases that are most certainly _not _flowery) hand-in-hand, staring up at the ceiling. "Looks pretty good, right?" I ask her, looking over at her.

"Yeah," she agrees. "Except the walls are a little bare."

I roll my eyes. "Let the poster go, Spence."

"You're getting me a new one, right?"

"I'll get you five new ones if it'll get you to stop complaining. It's almost like you like her more than you like me," I pout, giving her the most depressed look I can come up with.

"Aww, are you jealous?" Spencer teases, pecking my on the lips, and I'm already grinning by the time she pulls away. "Don't worry. If they had Ashley Davies posters, they'd be all over my walls."

"I don't know, they might soon," I joke. "I _am _the daughter of Raife Davies." I shrug. "Music's really just a hobby for me, though. I mean, I write songs and stuff, but it's not something I'd try to go public with. I already have plenty of money, anyway."

Sometimes I wonder if Spencer could be dating me just because I have a lot of money. I mean, there isn't really anything that great about me other than my looks, at least in my opinion. So I don't understand why she's into me, and why she'd risk everything by dating me. The only explanation I can think of is because of the money. But then I look into her eyes and know that that'll never be true, and I feel guilty for even thinking that it could be.

"Well, most people don't do it for the money, anyway," Spencer tells me. "They do it because they want the experience of going up onstage and performing, don't they?"

I listen to what she's saying, but I'm off in another world at the moment, so I don't really hear it. "Spencer, why do you like me?" I finally ask.

She looks surprised, but rolls over to face me, grinning. "What's not to like?"

"_Everything_," I find myself choking out, and we're both surprised by what has just come out of my mouth, but I don't stop talking for some reason. "I hardly have a family, I used to sleep with girls I didn't know all the time…hell, I made a _bet _that I could get _you _to sleep with me! I'm failing everything at school, I basically have no goals in life, and it's my fault you're on this emotional roller coaster, trying to figure out who you are. And there's still so much you don't even know about me that should make you hate me too, but I know you won't because you're just…perfect, and I'm not even close."

Spencer scoots closer to me and puts a hand on my cheek, smiling softly. "And you also do things like call me perfect, beat up boys that are mean to me, and drop bowling balls on your foot while trying to impress me. And push me up against my brother's car and kiss me when I'm not sure what I want."

I watch as her hand trails down to my chest, and she places it over my heart. I know she can feel how quickly it's beating. "You're sweet, kind, funny, and you have so much love to give. You have no idea how great it feels to be on the receiving end of all that, Ash." She leans forward, then, and kisses me on the cheek. I close my eyes and bite my lip. "And this roller coaster I'm on? I think it's one of those kinds where you're terrified the entire time, but you'd ride it again in a second."

"I haven't done anything to deserve you," I murmur.

"I don't think it works that way."

Before I can respond, Paula peeks into Spencer's bedroom, and Spencer moves her hand off of me and onto her bed instead. "Dinner's ready. And don't forget about getting up early for church tomorrow, Spencer."

When Paula is gone, I raise an eyebrow at Spencer. "Church?"

"You know we go every week. I meant to mention it…you can go with us, if you want. We're going out for lunch afterward to further celebrate Clay's return," she suggests with a smile.

"That's okay. I still have to put the finishing touches on presents, anyway. I can do that tomorrow."

"You sure? I'm sure my dad and Clay wouldn't mind if you came with us."

"You need a family day," I assure her. "You can't spend your_ entire_ break hanging out with me."

"Yeah, well…I certainly wouldn't mind," she mumbles, and it's stuff like this that just makes me grin to myself like an idiot. Sometimes I feel like I'm way more into Spencer than she's into me, but these comments bring me back down to Earth, and in a good kind of way.

"Yeah," is all I manage to say before I'm kissing her again.


	20. Doughnuts are the Perfect Gift

**A/N: I'd just like to take a moment to thank everyone who has favorited this story, reviewed it, or put it on their alerts, because those kinds of things are really the only motivation I have to write this and every time I get an email saying I have a new one it brightens my day :)**

**Thanks so much, guys!**

* * *

With one day until Christmas, as in tonight is Christmas Eve, I'm doing last-minute shopping while Spencer is out with her family, which mainly just consists of spending many _many _hours picking out a car for Kyla (which is what I've decided to get her, obviously). After finally finding a solution to the complicated dilemma of there being only one of me and two cars to get home, I finish wrapping all of my presents (besides the car) and deliver the ones around town that need to be delivered, which actually isn't very many. Just a gift card for Aiden, because I can't hate him for the rest of my life and one of us has to grow up (plus Spencer still feels responsible for Aiden and I not getting along and I don't want her to feel guilty anymore), and a box containing one of those boxing gloves on a spring for Madison, ready to pop out as soon as she opens it. I gave her the same thing for the first Christmas after we stopped being friends, and she came to school with a fading black eye a week later. Since then, she's been wary of my gifts, so I don't actually expect this one to hit her. But it's worth a try.

I feel uncomfortable hanging out at the Carlins' when none of them are home, so I drive around in my car for a little bit and spend some more time by myself, mostly just drinking coffee and checking out places I used to go a couple of months ago but hardly ever think about now that I have Spencer. Ego's the most noteworthy example of these kinds of places, and as I'm looking at it from behind the wheel of my car, I can't help but feel this overwhelming wave of nostalgia wash over me, and it surprises me that I kind of miss this place a little. I don't miss what it represents; the period of my life that it symbolizes…but a part of me _does _miss the drunken sex and the unattached one-night stands, and that's what scares me a little.

Once I've had enough of staring at Ego and freaking myself out, I head back to Spencer's and pull up in front of her house just in time to see the Carlins drive right past me and pull into the driveway. Spencer gets out of the car in the same fancy (and admittedly cute) dress she had on this morning, waving to me enthusiastically. I smile behind the sip of coffee I'm taking, turning off my car and slipping out of the front seat as Clay and Arthur also acknowledge my arrival. Paula's already halfway to the front door by the time I'm even out of the car, and Glen simply doesn't look at me, which is kind of the way I like things, but I'd never tell them that.

"How was church?" I ask Spencer once we're all inside and just the two of us are left in the living room. I can hear Arthur already starting on Christmas dinner in the kitchen.

She shrugs, frowning, and says, "Same as always."

I raise an eyebrow. "You don't seem that into it."

She shrugs again. "They, uh…they talked about homosexuality this week."

"_Oh. _I would've thought they'd do something about Christmas, though."

"Yeah, me too."

We're both quiet for a moment, and I bite my lip awkwardly. "So…that's it?"

She swallows heavily, then nods. "Yeah. Afterwards we went out to eat, caught up with Clay a little more, and…yeah." Spencer clears her throat briefly, examining her fingernails as she continues, and my eyebrows furrow. There's something she's not telling me. "And I…uh…I might've complained to my mom about the whole 'anti-gay' thing a little bit. And now she thinks you're brainwashing me, and that you have a thing for me."

Even though Spencer's being pretty serious right now, I can't help smiling at her anyway. "She said that?"

"And she said that if I'm smart, I'd stay away from you."

Normally, I would've brushed that off, too, but the look on Spencer's face makes my smile fade. "Wait…you're not…_listening _to her, are you?"

"No!" she says quickly, and I think it comes out a little louder than she means for it to, because she lowers her voice a moment later. "Of course not. It's just…now she thinks you like me, and it's like…it's not a very far jump from _that _to me liking you back. And I definitely don't want her figuring that out anytime soon. So I have to find a way to convince her that we're not like that."

"But we are," I point out, and Spencer shoots me a look that tells me now's not the time to be stating the obvious.

"I know that. But she _can't_. So, I'm thinking…" She trails off for a moment, and no matter what she's about to say, I know it can't be good. "Maybe I should…get a boyfriend?"

"No," is my instinctive response, but I bite down on my lip quickly when Spencer gives me another look. "Okay, sorry. But who could you possibly get to go along with this? _Aiden_?"

"Well, it's not…it wouldn't be like that. The whole point would be to convince my mom that it's a real relationship, and it'd be easier to do that if the guy were to think it was real, too. And my mom has this friend from church who has this son named Patrick, and he's my age but doesn't go to our school, so it'd be…" She trails off again, gauging my reaction, and I know my jaw is probably clenched and I probably look pretty pissed off.

"C'mon," I finally say, wanting to talk about this somewhere more private, so I pull Spencer up to her room by the hand, closing and locking the door behind us. When I turn around to face her, I ask, "Is there anything I could possibly do to make you change your mind about this, Spence? Because if there is, I'll do it."

Spencer looks back at me guiltily, then sits down on her bed and sighs. "I don't want her to find out," she finally replies, as though that explains everything.

"You gave me shit for being ashamed of caring about you so much," I state, walking over to her, and she looks nervous as I stop in front of her and cross my arms. "So I'm gonna give you shit for _this_," I continue, looking directly into her eyes. "We're a couple, Spence. If you want to date a guy, date a guy. But you better break up with me before you do it."

Spencer closes her eyes at that, sighing again, and I wait patiently for a response. "Is that what you want?" she finally asks.

"What I _want _is to not play games."

"You've been playing games your whole life," she retorts.

"Stop it," I growl. "That has nothing to do with this. Right now, I'm here with you, and if you don't want the same thing, you should just tell me."

"I want you here," she replies, but it comes out all shaky and when her voice cracks all I can do is close my eyes and shake my head.

"Maybe you're not ready for this, Spence."

"Don't say that."

"And why not?"

"Because you can't read my mind," she replies angrily, standing up so that we're face to face. "You don't know what I'm thinking."

"I know you think you need a boyfriend because _God forbid _your mom realizes that we're dating."

"God, you're so…" Spencer starts, sounding exasperated, and I raise an eyebrow. "You're just…you don't _get it_, you know? I don't want my mom to hate me. That's it. That's all there is to it. I just don't want her to hate me, and this is the solution I came up with."

"Well, clearly I'm not that important to you anyway, if you're thinking about getting a boyfriend, so maybe you should just dump me and-"

"Shut up," Spencer spits out, glaring at me as she cuts me off, and I fall silent without really meaning to listen to her. "You're turning this into something it's not. You're overreacting."

"Overreacting?" I echo incredulously. "My _girlfriend _just told me she's getting a fake boyfriend- who, by the way, will think he's _actually_ dating you- all in order to convince her mom that she isn't dating me, when she actually _is_. And I'm supposed to be okay with that?"

"I didn't say you had to be okay with it," Spencer replies through gritted teeth. "It was a _suggestion_. And you overreacted to it."

"I was under the impression the decision had been made."

"Well, you assumed." Spencer crosses her arms and takes a step towards me, and I step away instinctively, though I'm not sure why it's a reflex, considering normally I'd step closer too and argue right back. "What do you want from me, Ash? Am I supposed to confess my undying love for you to everyone we know, and then be okay with their reactions because I'll still have you?" I want to say yes, but I know that's not what my answer's supposed to be, so I stay quiet.

"Do you want me to just not care about what everyone else thinks? Just because you don't, doesn't mean I'm the same way. I'm sorry if you don't like that, but it's who I am. I care about what other people think of me. And right now, I don't really know what I'm supposed to say to you, because I feel like I'm going back and forth between you and my mom, saying and doing different things to try and make you both happy, and I'm…I'm contradicting myself all over the place between the two of you, and it's driving me crazy because half the time I don't know who I'm telling the truth to." She has me backed into the wall, now, but I can feel my own anger flare up at her last statement, and I straighten up, too, meeting her head on.

"What's that supposed to mean? Now you're not even sure if you _like _me?"

"That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about being _gay_, Ashley. I'm supposed to be gay around you and straight around my mom and I don't even know which one's the real me. And you say you're not into labels, but you're forcing them on me and it's really starting to stress me out. So is that what you want, for me to be gay?"

"I thought that's what you wanted," I tell her, and my tone's really only still angry because hers still is. Both of our faces are red just from trying to keep ourselves quiet when we really want to shout at each other. "I thought it would help clear things up."

"Well, it didn't. It only made things more confusing, and now you're pissed off at me and so is my mom and clearly I can't make both of you happy, so I can only choose one."

"No, you don't have to do that," I retort quickly, because I have a feeling that when it comes down to Paula and me, Spencer can't turn her back on her own family, and even though I'm angry at her, I don't want to lose her. "You know what? Fine. Get a boyfriend. Date…Peyton or whatever his name is. I'll be here when you get back."

"I'm not ditching you for him," she insists, pressing her palms to the wall on either side of my head and leaning in closer. "I just…" She searches for the right words for a moment, then gets mad again when she can't find them, and her nostrils flare for a moment before she finally spits out, "Fine, then. I'm gay, okay? Is that what you want me to say?"

"No," I reply quietly, my anger draining completely, because I wanted the first time she said it to be when she was ready, and clearly, she wasn't.

She's breathing heavily just in front of me, and when I finally raise my eyes to meet hers, she asks, "Then what?"

"What do you _think_?" slips past my lips before I can stop it, and I think we both know that I'm mocking her from the night Aiden came over, when I was the one trying to figure out what the right thing to do was. This time, I'm really not sure what she can do to fix this, other than to go downstairs and come out to her family, which would actually only make things more complicated.

Her eyes darken with fury and for a moment, I'm afraid, but then that passes when I remember what started this argument, and I'm pretty sure my own eyes are displaying my anger less than a second later. Just when I think we're both as pissed off as we can possibly get and that Spencer is probably about to open her mouth to break up with me, her eyes leave mine and slip down to my lips, and just that one move is enough.

I'm pretty sure I lean forward first, but Spencer's hands are on the side of my neck and in my hair a moment later, holding me close even as I kiss her harder and force her backwards towards her bed. I'm not used to kissing Spencer while we're both angry at each other, but it's a lot hotter and a lot more likely to leave bruises.

We collapse onto the bed with Spencer below me, and after that, our kisses slow down and begin to soften, until Spencer loosens her grip on my hair while I force my nails to stop digging so sharply into her back. "We're both stupid," she finally mutters against my lips, and I bury my face in her neck a moment later to muffle a laugh.

"Is it sad that this is the best Christmas Eve I've ever had?"

"Extremely sad," Spencer confirms, and we're both quiet for a long time before she finally adds, "I missed you today."

"Yeah?" I ask to make sure I heard her right. Spencer says things out of nowhere sometimes, and I'm still getting used to it.

"Yeah. My life's too boring without you."

* * *

Apparently, Glen's mental age is about eleven, because it's hardly six o'clock before he is shaking me awake on the couch (after already rousing every single member of the Carlin family).

"It's Christmas!" is the first thing he says to me.

"Duh," I mumble, shoving him away and sitting up to rub my eyes, and then a much more soothing voice tells me that she's brought me coffee, and I'm immediately fully awake, grinning when Spencer extends one of the cups in her hands to me.

The tree is in the living room, which is where I sleep, so I'm surprised that the presents managed to find their way under the tree during the night without waking me up in the process. But there they are, in plain view.

Stockings have been put up over the fireplace, too, and one of them even has my name sewn onto it, which only makes my grin widen and my heart grow warm. I've always spent Christmas either with one of my mom's maids, or, in my most recent Christmas's case, with Kyla, but this has to trump all of those combined. "Your dad really went all-out," I whisper to Spencer, a little in awe, and she smiles right back at me, kissing me on the cheek once Glen has left to double-check that everyone else has gotten up.

"You're one of the family," she tells me, resting her head on my shoulder, and that single statement makes up for the whole fight we had last night.

"C'mon, let's open presents!" Glen exclaims, charging back in with Clay, Paula, and Arthur in tow, and I get up wordlessly to go get my presents for the Carlins, which are currently hidden in the back of Spencer's closet.

When I come back downstairs, Glen is already tearing into his fourth present, and Clay is working on his second, while Spencer has chosen to gather all of hers and set them down beside her on the couch. When I sit down next to her, she hands me three presents and tells me that one is from Clay and Glen, one is from her parents, and one is from Kyla. I'm trying to bottle up how excited and happy and anxious I am, but I think it shows through when I accept the gifts with trembling hands.

"My present was too big to fit under the tree," she tells me, and I look over at her curiously.

"The best friend present?" I question quietly, and she bites her lip and nods, glancing over at her parents, who are mainly focused on Glen and Clay, but glance over at Spencer and I every few seconds.

"I'll get it in a few minutes," she promises, reaching for her own presents, and I take that as the cue to open mine, doing it neatly and carefully because I can tell that I'm going to remember this Christmas forever, and I want to do everything slowly so I can savor it.

I get a box of doughnuts from Glen and Clay, and Clay tells me that it was Glen's idea, who, in turn, insists that I already have plenty of money and that food is priceless, and doughnuts are the best kind of food around, therefore he has gotten me the best present possible. I don't argue with him because it's Christmas and Glen's an idiot.

Paula and Arthur give me a card, and it has a gift card to my favorite store inside, along with a note that says my custom stocking is mine to keep, and I can't really decide whether I'm more happy that Spencer knew and told them what my favorite store was, or that I now have a stocking with my name on it.

Kyla's present is a new mp3 player, because I've been complaining a lot about my old one being weird and randomly shutting off, and it also has a little card from Chelsea wishing me a Merry Christmas and apologizing for stealing Kyla away for two weeks. The card makes me smile, mostly because it's ironic that Chelsea is apologizing for basically making my Christmas the most amazing it's ever been. Not that Kyla ruins my Christmas or anything, but because she left, I got to spend it with the Carlins.

Eventually, the present-unwrapping is nearly complete, and everyone except Spencer has opened the gifts I got them. I gave Glen a T-shirt that says "I kissed a girl" on the front and "and I liked it" on the back; Clay a chemistry set because I know he's taking that course this year and has been complaining about needing new supplies; Arthur a Life board game to add to the Carlin Game Night collection; and Paula a book titled "Cooking for Dummies", which I think amused everyone _except _Paula.

Eventually, it becomes painfully obvious that everyone's opened every single present except for the one Spencer still has from me, and she blushes a little when she notices we're all watching her.

"Open it," I command, nudging her, and she glances at me for a second, then tears the paper away gently, opening the box that's revealed when she does. The smile that lights up her face a second later is completely worth the extra half hour I had to spend finding her another gift. Turns out, getting a best friend gift for Spencer was just as hard as getting a girlfriend gift, if not harder, since it couldn't be _too _intimate, but couldn't be not intimate _enough_, either.

I ended up getting her a silver charm bracelet, and enough charms with letters on them so that her whole name is already spelled out across it. "Thank you, Ash," she says sincerely as she slides it onto her wrist. "It's beautiful."

I'm tempted to say something cheesy like "Just like you", but I know I can't do that in front of her family, so I just settle on a silly grin, followed by a dark blush when she kisses me on the cheek again. It doesn't help that Clay has this knowing smirk on his face, and I eventually just avert my gaze to my lap, hoping that if I can't see her family, somehow they can't see me.

"Yeah, well…" I finally mutter, and Spencer just squeezes my hand briefly, then tugs me onto my feet, forcing me to look up again.

"Now I have to give you your present," she points out, and Arthur stands up, too.

"I'll get it, honey," he tells her, and my eyebrows furrow in confusion. Does Spencer's whole family already know what she got me?

When Arthur gets back, he's carrying this giant rectangular present that's about up to just below my shoulders, and I'm only even more confused, because I have no idea what it could be. A pogo stick, maybe? Somehow, I doubt Spencer would get me that, though. Even though I'd still probably enjoy having one. Eh, I can always buy myself one later.

I'm ripped from my pogo stick fantasy when Spencer insists that I open her present, and this time, I'm tearing at the wrapping paper anxiously, wanting to know what she could've possibly gotten me without making her parents suspicious of us, especially since I found the job so hard.

My jaw drops when I've gotten rid of the paper and opened the box beneath it.

Not only is it a guitar, it's an _electric _guitar, and not only is it an electric guitar, it's my favorite brand _and _type of electric guitar. _And _it's got my name written across it in this fancy black script. Plus, from the looks of it, it's already been tuned perfectly.

It's all I can do not to tackle Spencer to the ground and kiss her right in front of everyone, so I just settle for wrapping my arms around her and squeezing her tightly, and even as she's hugging me back, I can tell that we probably look way more intimate than we should look in front of her family. But it doesn't matter at the moment, because it's Christmas morning, everyone's happy, and frankly, Paula will just write it off as me having a crush on Spencer, anyway.

"So you like it?" Spencer whispers in my ear, and I nod silently, afraid I'll cry if I try to speak.

"It's perfect," I finally manage to choke out, and we hold each other for a moment longer before Paula finally clears her throat and we pull apart quickly. I could swear that she smiles at me when I wipe at my eyes, though, and it seems like for one day, she's decided to leave me alone and act like she likes me.

Now that we're all done opening presents, the first thing we do is play the Life game I got Arthur, and everyone is so comfortably happy together for once, that I don't even let it bother me when Spencer puts a blue stick in her car's passenger seat.


	21. Welcome to the New Year

When things have finally settled down and everyone is scattered around the house, doing their own thing, Spencer tugs me up to her room and just kisses me wordlessly, for a long, long time, until I feel like we're melting together and I'm drowning in the resulting goop we've turned into. I need to think of better analogies, because that sounds kind of horrifying even though it's supposed to sound exhilarating and wonderful. God, I love kissing Spencer Carlin.

I'm still a little breathless when she finally gets up off of her bed and heads into her closet, and she comes back out a moment later with two presents in her hands: our girlfriend presents.

"Open mine first," I tell her quickly, sitting up, and I'm immediately nervous, because what if she doesn't like it? I know I'm stuttering my way through an explanation of the gift as she unwraps it, but I'm too anxious to stop. "I know it's kind of plain now; I was supposed to get it engraved, too, but there was this guy and _after _he sold it to me he told me about…_appointments _and all booked up and…oh God, you hate it."

"Ash, stop," she retorts, rolling her eyes and smiling at me. "I love it. We can go and get it engraved together tomorrow, alright?" I nod, but I don't think she sees it because she's busy lifting the necklace out of its box and offering it to me. "Could you put it on?"

"Um…sure."

Spencer moves her hair out of the way and stands up with her back to me, and it takes me a second to get the necklace clasped again, because I've never done anything like this before and my fingers are trembling. Spencer sighs and turns around to face me. "What are you so freaked out about?"

"I'm not," I lie, and she raises an eyebrow. "Alright. I'm just not used to this kind of stuff."

Spencer squeezes my hand and then kisses me again, smiling when she pulls away. "Open your present, now," she tells me, grabbing a rectangular-shaped gift and offering it to me. "Kyla helped me with it, too."

"Kyla?" I echo curiously, shaking the present lightly and listening for any kind of rattling noise. There is none. "What is it?"

"Well, open it and you'll find out," Spencer insists, and I'm definitely not averse to that idea. If her best friend present was a guitar, then this present has to be completely mind-blowing.

Not unlike how I was when Spencer was opening my present, Spencer starts rambling anxiously next to me. "There are still a few empty spaces because I figured you'd want to add more later on, but most of it's full already. Kyla had to ask your mother to give her a bunch and then I picked out my favorites, plus Kyla found some in your closet…and she also took the more recent ones during those last couple weeks at school, so…"

Just looking at the front, it's hard to tell what my present is, but when I open it, I know immediately. It's a photo album, and the first two pages are littered with baby pictures of me, most likely taken by my dad when I was younger.

"Like I said, I had some help from Kyla…" Spencer adds again just as I spot a picture of myself as a toddler playing one of my dad's guitars. I grin, sliding my thumb over the picture, then scoot closer to Spencer and kiss her on the cheek, moving the photo album so that it's half on my lap and half on hers.

"Come on, let's look at it together," I insist, turning to the next page, which has more pictures of me, but I look slightly older in these: around six or seven years old. One picture is of me riding a bike, and I spot another of me playing _my _first guitar. "This is like a perfect timeline of my life," I mutter, more to myself than to Spencer. I turn another page, and this one is covered in pictures of my dad and I. In some of them we're smiling, but in most of them we're laughing. I wipe at my eyes quickly, feeling tears welling up in them, then rest my head on Spencer's shoulder while she slides an arm around my waist and kisses the top of my head.

We end up going through three or four more pages that lead up to my preteen years, followed by two pages of me ages eleven through thirteen, where I can literally see my clothing becoming more and more skimpy as the years go by. Finally, I'm fourteen, and there are a few pictures of Madison and I that I'd kept buried in the back of my closet (until apparently Kyla found them), and even a few pictures of Aiden and I. We look so happy in them that I almost feel bad for fighting with him now, and it makes me glad that I at least sent him a Christmas present.

Then, I'm sixteen, and my smiles look a bit forced, at least to me, even in my pictures with Kyla. Those give way to an even more recent me, though, and I look a little happier. There's one picture I can even remember Aiden taking, shortly after I met Spencer for the first time, but before he started dating her. Kyla and I are half-hugging and sticking our tongues out at the camera.

I turn the page another time, and my eyes widen in surprise when I see several pictures of Spencer and I, but then I recall a two-day period where Kyla randomly brought a camera to school and claimed she was joining the school yearbook or something. She must've taken them whenever I wasn't paying attention. There's one of Spencer and I sitting at lunch together, and then one right below that that was clearly taken about two seconds later, which is just of us holding hands under the table. "You've been planning this for a while," I comment without looking up, smiling as I'm turning another page curiously, but the next page is mostly blank, except for a picture of Spencer kissing me on the cheek in the school parking lot, which makes me think Kyla would make a good stalker.

"Yeah," is all she says in response, but it's enough to make me smile again. "Do you…is it okay?"

"It's amazing," I tell her honestly, already thinking of ideas for pictures to add, but I quickly stop that train of thought when my mind takes a sharp turn towards less-than-innocent thoughts of Spencer and me.

"I was thinking…once I'm eighteen…" Spencer starts, and I turn my head towards her quickly at that.

"Yeah?"

"And we can both vote…I could go with you and…you know, a picture of you voting would just be a cool thing to add," she finishes. I'm pretty sure I deflate a little, because she looks at me funny. "What?"

"You're such a dork," is the only thing I can think of to say.

* * *

The next day, I drive Spencer to the mall and we go to the jewelry store where I bought her necklace, and, fortunately, the same guy is at the counter, and he remembers me.

I insist on letting Spencer choose what to get engraved on the necklace on her own, so she goes into a back room with the man by herself to let him know what she wants on it. I'm expecting for her to get something simple, like her name or something along those lines.

She does end up getting something simple, but it's not her name.

It's mine.

* * *

Madison's "present" to me comes three days later in the form of a phone call from Madison herself. She tells me she's throwing a New Year's Party and that since the whole school's invited, that includes me (and "my life partner", her words, not mine). I don't really want to go, but when Spencer gets wind of it, she _does_, so naturally I am forced to go with her. The downside is that Spencer's parents want Glen and Clay to tag along too, so on New Year's Eve, I find myself with Spencer in the backseat of Glen's car, with Glen driving us to the party and Clay reading in the passenger's seat.

"So is there going to be any drinking at this thing?" Glen asks, looking over at me through the rear-view mirror.

"It's Madison, so probably," I reply, shrugging. Spencer wrinkles her nose.

"I don't do well with alcohol."

Glen scoffs. "There's no way I'm letting you drink anything anyway."

"Don't tell me you're taking the whole 'make sure Spencer doesn't get into trouble' thing seriously," I deadpan, not looking forward to be followed around by Glen all night, and he sneers at me in response.

"Well with you there I definitely have a reason to. You probably can't wait to get her drunk."

I roll my eyes at him and cross my arms, turning my attention to my window instead. "I don't need alcohol to get her to kiss me," I mutter.

"What?"

"Nothing, Glen."

Spencer smacks my arm the second Glen isn't paying attention, shooting me a disapproving look once I raise an eyebrow at her.

"And _you _aren't just going to be reading the whole time," Glen says to Clay, snatching the book away from him and snapping it shut with one hand.

"Hey! How am I supposed to know what page I was on?"

"Who cares? Tonight's our one night to take a break from our parents and actually party," Glen retorts, then quickly adds, "Except for Spencer."

"Thanks, _dad_," Spencer cuts in sarcastically. "What do you expect me to do the whole time, then?"

"I don't know. Sit in the corner? Anyway…I need to figure out who I'm going to kiss at the end of the countdown, and you're the first girl I'm going to give the opportunity, Ashley. What d'ya say?"

"Ew," I snap at him.

"I'll kiss you, Glen," Spencer teases.

"Shut up." Glen's cheeks go pink just as we pull up in front of Madison's house, which is surrounded by cars and playing music that's loud enough to hear from over two blocks away. As soon as the car's slowed to a stop, I get out of it quickly and pull Spencer out behind me.

"Come on, let's ditch your brother while we still have the chance," I tell her, tugging her across the front lawn and ignoring Glen's shouts as we burst through the front door of Madison's house.

People are packed into her living room, dancing to the beat of some Lady Gaga song, and I'm glad for once that I used to be friends with Madison, because that means I know the way around her house.

In the kitchen, there are several kegs and plenty of six-packs, but I ignore them for now and make sure Spencer does too. The last thing I need to worry about is bringing a drunken Spencer home to Paula and expecting her not to hate me more than she already does.

"Well, we can't dance together," Spencer starts, holding up a finger pointedly as she talks over the music. "We can't get drunk." Two fingers. "We can't kiss." Three. "We can't even _stand _too close. So what are we supposed to do?"

"We can dance," I argue. "Kyla and I dance all the time when we're at clubs and stuff."

"But you two are sisters."

"And we're _friends_," I reply, winking, and Spencer eyes me suspiciously for a moment, then gives me a small smile.

"Oh, alright."

I'm pulling her into the crowd excitedly a second later, and Spencer hooks her hands together behind my neck, resting her arms on my shoulders while I put my hands on her hips. It's hard not to pull her closer, especially since everyone is already packed so tightly together, making the one person I _want _pressed up against me the only one I can't have.

Spencer leans forward all of a sudden to speak into my ear, nodding in a certain direction as she says, "God, look at my brother and Madison."

I turn my head and follow her gaze, spotting Glen and Madison dancing on the other side of the living room, but it looks more like they're trying to have sex with their clothes on. "That's so gross."

We dance for a little while longer, until Spencer starts to wonder aloud where Clay is, and we decide to check the kitchen first, because everyone is getting a little crazy and it's hard to have fun sober at parties like these.

Spencer and I get one beer each and promise each other it's all we'll have, because I don't want to get drunk and Spencer doesn't want to puke, and when Clay obviously isn't in the kitchen, we go upstairs next, forgetting about Clay eventually when I decide to show Spencer around.

"And here's _Madison's _bedroom," I emphasize, pushing a door open and feeling relieved when there's no couple making out on the bed inside. It's actually empty.

I point at Madison's personal bathroom first. "That's where I held back Madison's hair the first time she drank too much and puked for twenty minutes straight." Spencer laughs at that, but seems to hesitate for a moment before she takes her next sip of beer. I address the bed next. "This is where she contracted four out of five of her STDs…"

"Seriously?"

I roll my eyes. "No; I stopped being friends with her before she was a slut. I really have no idea how many she has. But anyway, that bench right there is where she helped me with my makeup before my very first date with Aiden…look how great things turned out with him, though. And _that _mirror is where we tried on countless outfits together, back before she was a cow, when we actually wore similar sizes."

"I'm sensing some animosity," Spencer says lightly, and I smile bitterly at her, taking a swig of my own beer. It burns a little, but I'm used to it. A lot more used to it than I should be at eighteen years old, anyway.

"Yeah, well…our falling out was like the dumbest thing ever, anyway," I tell her. "She was jealous of me and Aiden. _Aiden_. I mean, come on. He totally wasn't even worth it."

"I wonder if he's here tonight," Spencer says, looking over her shoulder as though she thinks he's going to be standing in the hall right behind us, and I shrug in response.

"What would you do if he was?"

"I'm not sure. It would depend on what he does."

"Hmm." I sit down on Madison's bed and relax for a moment, then stand up quickly once I realize that it's _Madison's _bed, and is most likely the most disgusting bed I will ever sit on. We're both quiet for a moment, and when I look over at Spencer's beer, I realize that it's almost empty. "That's really all you're going to drink, right?"

"Huh?" Spencer follows my gaze, and then nods hastily. "Yeah. Promise."

"If you come home drunk, not only will Glen kill me, but-"

"I'm not going to get drunk," Spencer insists, cutting me off. "Relax."

"How many fingers am I holding up?"

"Two," Spencer deadpans, and I cross my arms.

"Just checking."

"Well…what about you, then? How do I know you aren't completely wasted right now?"

"Um…because I have a high tolerance. I've already drank more in my lifetime by _now _than you'll drink in your entire one," I point out.

"How do you know? I might grow up to be some drunken bum who lives in a box and begs for money to buy more beer," Spencer replies, amused.

"Not if I can help it," I tell her, gripping her hand and pulling her out of Madison's room. "Now come on. We still haven't found Clay."

"Wait, it's almost midnight."

I pause at that, peeking back into Madison's room to get a look at her clock. Spencer's right. We've only got about five minutes.

We go back downstairs anyway, noticing that the music has stopped playing, and a huge flat-screen television in Madison's living room has been turned on, with the volume cranked up while everyone watches some news guy talking about New Year's on it.

"Grab a partner, everyone!" Madison's calling out over the television, a wide grin on her face as she latches onto Glen's hand with one of hers, and I wrinkle my nose, quickly pulling Spencer out of sight before anyone can notice us.

"I don't know if-" Spencer starts to say, but she pauses when she sees the look on my face.

"Pleeease?" I beg, pouting at her. "Who else are you going to kiss?"

"Well, we still haven't figured out whether or not _Aiden's_ here…"

I glare at her, already in the process of tugging her back upstairs, where there are far less people, and everyone that _is _up here is busy making out in bedrooms, anyway. Madison's room is still the only sure-fire one that is unoccupied, so this is the one we end up in, even though I'd rather not have to kiss Spencer here.

I pull her over to the bed and sit down on it, trying not to wince at the prospect of what has taken place on it before now, and Spencer sits down next to me, setting her beer to the side. I put mine down on the floor next to me. "Did you know," I tell her, "that whoever you kiss on New Year's Eve is supposed to be the person you spend the rest of the year with?"

Spencer giggles, finding that funny for some reason, and I raise an eyebrow at her.

"Sorry. I'm…I think I might be a _little _drunk. Maybe." I snap my fingers in front of her face a few times, and she blinks rapidly, then laughs and leans over to rest her head on my shoulder.

"I can't believe you made me come here," I say.

She tilts her head to the side slightly and kisses my neck just once, then murmurs, "Sorry. I just figured…you've been cooped up in my house for two weeks now, and haven't seen anyone from school or anything, so…"

"I'd rather spend time alone with you."

"Well, at least we're doing that now, right?"

"Guess so." I bite my lip and look away from her, thinking back to Spencer's whole boyfriend idea from Christmas Eve. We haven't talked about it since then, but it's been stuck in the back of my mind because even though it seems like Spencer's dropped the idea, she hasn't confirmed that decision. "Spencer?"

"Hmm?"

"You're not…still thinking about doing that whole 'fake but sort of real boyfriend' thing, right?"

Spencer smiles at me, then shakes her head. "No. Just as long as I can take my time coming out to my parents."

"Deal."

I perk up when I hear everyone counting, and Spencer straightens, too, turning towards me as the crowd downstairs gets down to "six…five…four…"

She kisses me two seconds early, and even though we're on Madison's bed, Spencer is a little buzzed, and we both taste like beer, it still seems perfect to me.

* * *

**A/N: Just a warning to everyone about the next chapter...**

**Things have been going kind of slowly for the past few chapters as far as time frame, since the whole entire "break" was about two weeks long and took up at least 5-10 chapters, but starting next chapter things are going to be speeding up a little bit. Just thought I'd let you guys know so it doesn't surprise anyone. **


	22. Faking Straight

**A/N: Hello_there, do you mind telling me where you found that info? Everywhere I've looked says something like this: **

**The age of consent is 18, with a misdemeanor if the minor has 3 or fewer years of difference with the major, and potentially a felony if the major is more than 3 years older. It is worth emphasizing that unlike most other states, the close-in-age rule in California (3 years) do not provide an exception nor provide any defense; it merely lowers the crime to a misdemeanor. Penalties increase if the minor is under 16 and the major is above 21 or if the minor is more than 3 years younger.**

* * *

Kyla gets home from Seattle two days later and literally tackles me to the ground when she first sees her new car, promising me a thousand times over that she won't crash it and that she'll drive it to school every morning so that I don't have to give her rides anymore. I decide not to ask her about talking with Aiden behind my back, because the past is the past and Spencer and I are okay now, which is really all that matters to me.

Clay goes back to college, and Spencer helps me pack up all my stuff so that I can move back in with Kyla, and it's by far the most depressing thing I've done all break, especially when she hugs me goodbye and I can tell she's holding back tears. Now that we've gotten a taste of what it's like to live together, it's way harder than I thought it would be to go back to how things were before.

School picks up right where it left off, except it's the first time Spencer and I have been in school together while officially dating. I've gotten so used to being alone with her over the past two weeks that it's even harder than before to act like it's no big deal whenever we touch or meet each other's eyes, or to not blush when Spencer passes me notes in class that say things like "You look beautiful today" or "I wish I could kiss you". The sad thing is that she _could _kiss me, anytime she wanted, if it weren't for Glen and Paula and every other judgmental human being in our high school. The next time she passes me a note telling me she wishes she could kiss me, I reply with, "I wish you _would _kiss me." When she reads it, she gets this guilty look on her face and doesn't pass me any notes for a week.

With Madison still pissed off at him for dumping her, Aiden now has absolutely nobody to sit with at lunch, and after three days of watching him eat alone, I stand up in the middle of lunch and walk over to him, crossing my arms when he looks up at me. "You didn't tell anyone," I point out, because it's the first thing that comes to mind, and he nods noncommittally, but I know Aiden well enough to realize that he just doesn't want to look like he cares. I think back to how crappy I felt when Aiden was the one dating Spencer, imagining that it's probably at least similar to how he feels now, and then sigh. "You can sit with us again if you want, you know." He looks a little surprised, but just nods again, and doesn't get up. "I forgive you," I finally add, and he raises an eyebrow.

"You forgive me?"

I pick at the hem of my shirt for a moment, looking anywhere but at him. "You know. For that night. For trying to turn Spencer against me."

He's quiet for a moment, just looking down at his food, then nods again. "And I forgive you for breaking us up."

That actually stings a little. "Okay." Aiden takes a bite out of his sandwich, and I shove my hands into my pockets. "I…I really like her."

He swallows his food and clears his throat, still not looking at me. "Yeah."

After an awkward moment of silence, I go back to my usual table, and he remains seated. The next day, he sits with us.

Halfway through January, it comes to my attention that the 17th is Spencer and I's one-month anniversary since the day I _officially _asked her to be my girlfriend, and I'm sitting on my bed one afternoon, debating whether or not it's important enough to celebrate, when Kyla enters my room out of nowhere and joins me on my bed, looking like she's ready to gossip. She is.

"So…I've noticed you and Spencer have been getting along pretty well since your two-week stay at her house…" she begins, and I raise an eyebrow.

"Yeah? So?"

"Well…" She grins unexpectedly. "So you two are doing it regularly, then?"

"Huh?"

"Having sex. You and Spencer are?"

I shove her off of my bed, and she barely manages to keep her balance as I point my finger at my bedroom door. "Out, Yoda. I'm thinking."

"Ashley Davies, is that a no?" Kyla asks incredulously.

"Goodbye, Kyla."

"It _is _a no, isn't it?"

"She's seventeen," I finally sigh out, glaring at her. "Happy?"

"When does she turn eighteen?"

"May 5th."

Kyla laughs at that, shaking her head. "You are so whipped."

"Shut up," I growl, standing up, and Kyla runs from my room before I can touch her, seeming to sense that she's really pissed me off this time.

I lock my door and sit back down on my bed, counting on my fingers as I run through the months I've known Spencer in my head. November, December, today's January 14th…

That's three months and two weeks down, and around three months and two weeks left to go.

I'm halfway there.

* * *

On the 17th, I decide to invite Spencer over and set up a surprise dinner for her, and I'm convinced that my plan is going to work when all eight hours of school go by and she seems to suspect nothing so far. In fact, I'm so anxious to surprise her that I don't really even mind that she doesn't remember it's our anniversary.

When I call her around six o'clock, though, things don't go the way I expected them to.

_"Hey!" _she answers enthusiastically, and I'm a little ashamed of myself for smiling just when I hear her voice. _"I was just about to call you, actually. What's up?"_

"Are you doing anything this afternoon?"

_"Um…well, sort of. Why?"_

"Well…I was just wondering if maybe you wanted to come over around seven or something, and hang out with Kyla and I." I decided to use Kyla to make things seem less suspicious. It's part of my perfect plan.

_"Oh. Uh…well, Glen and I actually wanted to know if you wanted to come over and hang out tonight."_

I raise an eyebrow at that. "Glen?"

_"Yeah. He…misses you or something. Says he hasn't seen you at all since you went back to live with Kyla again."_

"Kyla misses _you_, though."

_"Glen misses you more. Kyla sees me every day."_

"Only at lunch."

_"Still, I think it'd just be better if you'd hang out here tonight."_

"Well, maybe I think we'd have more fun at my house."

_"No, no…you should come over here."_

"No, Spence, I really think we'd just be better off at my house. I want you to come over."

_"Well, I want _you _to come over."_

"Why can't you just come over here?"

Spencer's silent for a moment, and I'm practically glaring at my cell phone by now as I wait for an answer. This is all going horribly wrong; I can't surprise her if she won't come over.

All of a sudden, Spencer starts laughing, which only pisses me off more because I feel like I'm missing something.

It takes me about thirty more seconds to get it. "Um...how about we both just bring everything and we go to the park?"

* * *

Aiden hasn't been saying much at lunch, but I do know that he and Kyla talk a lot more than they let on, so it doesn't surprise me when he falls into step beside me while I'm on my way to class one morning and states, "You're not sleeping with her." It's a weird conversation starter, though.

My eyebrows furrow and I'm quiet for a moment, but I shake my head anyway. "No, I'm not."

I'm expecting teasing or for him to rub it in my face or some other classic Aiden move, but he just asks, "And you're not sleeping with anyone else?"

"I'm not," I say again, firmly, and he falls silent after that, then takes the appropriate turn when it's time for us to part ways. It's the end of our conversation.

After that, Aiden starts talking at lunch more and more every day, and what little anger I may have still had towards him diminishes. Everything is almost the way I think it should be except for the fact that Aiden still has a thing for Spencer, and that doesn't matter so much to me as long as Spencer still likes me better and Aiden doesn't try to force himself on her, both of which seem to be the case currently.

Near the end of January, Spencer and I are doing our usual thing at lunch (holding hands briefly when nobody's looking, exchanging secret smiles…like I said: the usual) when Aiden abruptly asks, "So are you two in love or something?"

Neither of us knows what to say.

* * *

"Valentine's Day's coming up."

I look up at Spencer, who is sitting on the edge of my bed, then set the magazine I was reading off to the side. "Yeah?"

Spencer looks a little embarrassed as she asks, "Well…I mean, I can understand if you're not into that kind of stuff, but I was wondering if you wanted to do something."

"What kind of something?" I reply, smirking.

"Well, Valentine's Day's on a Thursday, so I was thinking maybe after school we could come back here and…I don't know, have dinner?"

"I can't cook," I admit.

"Eh, we'll just get takeout," she replies easily, turning around and crawling up the bed until she is hovering over me. "And then after we eat, we can come up here and spend some time alone in your room together…" She slides a hand up my side and bites her lip, and I groan in frustration, grabbing her hand.

"Spencer, you can't say stuff like that to me while you're still seventeen. It's killing me to wait."

"I'm sorry," Spencer says honestly, but she's started running her hands up and down my sides again and it's hard for me to pay attention to what she's saying. "I really do appreciate it though, Ash. You waiting for me."

"How much?" I ask teasingly, regaining my ability to think when she stops moving her hands.

"A whole lot," she replies, leaning forward and nuzzling her face into my neck, then kissing my skin lightly. I'm closing my eyes to relax when it suddenly registers that Spencer has moved to straddle my waist, and she pushes herself up with both hands a moment later, smiling down at me.

I can feel the corners of my lips curving upwards, and I can't help asking, "Want to show me how much?"

Spencer rolls her eyes and says, "You're such a pervert," but cups my face and leans in anyway.

Before Spencer can kiss me, Kyla bursts into the room to brag about some new top she just bought at the mall, but cuts herself off when she sees what position we're in, then wrinkles her nose in disgust. "Ew, you two _so _need to get a room."

Spencer scoffs and pulls away, and I shoot Kyla an incredulous look. "Kyla, we're in _my _bedroom."

Kyla looks flustered at that, and eventually stutters out, "Well…get another room." Then she leaves my bedroom and slams the door behind her.

Even though Kyla completely ruined our original attempt at making out, Spencer kisses me the second she's gone, which for some reason makes me think about how much more often it is that Spencer kisses me instead of me kissing her. I've just decided that it's because I never have any idea when the right time to kiss her is, when Spencer's tongue slides into my mouth and I can't think anymore. Every time we kiss like this, it gets harder and harder not to take things too far.

Three more months until Spencer's birthday, and I'm practically counting down.

* * *

"At least I _have _someone to spend it with," is my comeback when Kyla starts to tease me about my "little date" with Spencer on Valentine's Day. I didn't expect anything less from Kyla, though, considering she _still _won't stop teasing me about the anniversary incident.

Kyla rolls her eyes at me, crossing her arms and saying, "I have someone to spend it with." It comes out defensive, though, and I clearly don't believe her. "I just don't want to tell you who it is."

"Conveniently," I add, and Kyla glares at me as I brush past her and grab my backpack on the way out of the house.

"Just go pick up your girlfriend."

"At least I _have _a…girlfriend," I finish weakly, because that made absolutely no sense considering Kyla's straight.

"At least my insults make sense," Kyla retorts, and the last thing I see before I slam the front door shut is Kyla taking a big bite out of a blueberry muffin.

When I pick Spencer up in front of her house, her nose and ears are pink and she's rubbing her arms through her jacket, while her breath comes out in quick puffs that are visible until she closes the door to my car. "Cold?" I ask, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, well…I've been waiting outside for you this morning."

"Anxious to see me?" I tease as we drive away from her house, and Spencer gives me a pointed look.

"Actually, yes. I wanted to tell you that I talked to my parents about Valentine's Day, and we have a problem."

"Are they not letting you come over?" I question, immediately thinking of ways around this while I wait for Spencer to reply.

"No, actually, they are. My mom's okay with it because she thinks Kyla and Aiden will be there too and we're all just hanging out as friends or something. I don't know; she's totally oblivious, thankfully. The problem's my dad. He's letting me come over, but…just…the way he reacted when I asked if I could stay over at your house after school on Valentine's Day…it was like he expected it. Like, there was zero surprise. You just had to be there. I think he _knows_."

"About us?" I reply, keeping my eyes on the road now that I know Spencer's at least allowed to come over.

"Yeah."

Spencer sounds freaked out, and I'm not sure why. "Well…what did he do?"

"Nothing, but…"

"That's good then, right? That means he's okay with it, and that's even if he actually _does _know. I mean, we're best friends, so maybe that's just why he wasn't surprised."

"Who spends Valentine's Day with their best friend?"

"You do, silly."

"Ash, I'm being serious."

"Sorry." I sigh as Spencer crosses her arms beside me. "Look. I'm sure it's just because we're such good friends. I spent two straight weeks living with you, after all. He must know we're close."

"Well…like I said: you weren't there."

"Then let me be," I suggest, and Spencer's eyebrows furrow as she looks over at me.

"What do you mean?"

"Well…maybe I could come have dinner with your family tonight or something. That way I can scope things out and let you know how suspicious I think he is."

"You'd do that?"

"Yeah, why not? All I have to do is withstand glares from your mom, attempted ass-grabs from Glen, and your dad possibly knowing we're together. It's cool."

"_You're _cool," Spencer says warmly, squeezing my free hand, and I raise an eyebrow, glancing at her only briefly because I don't want to pull a Kyla and completely total my car.

"You were until you said _that_."

"Funny."

"Thanks."

* * *

After school, instead of just dropping Spencer off, I go ahead and wait for her to ask her parents if I can stay for dinner, and when she beckons to me from the front door after about two minutes of me waiting in my car, I assume that that's my cue to stay and have dinner with her family.

"Wow, Ashley, it's just been so long since I've seen you that I think I deserve another hug," Glen greets me, spreading his arms, and I push him away with one hand, not in the mood to deal with him right now. This is all-business; an investigation of the behavior of one Arthur Carlin.

Paula isn't home, and Arthur's on the phone with her when I walk in, letting her know that I'm going to be eating dinner with them tonight. I'm glad I can't hear her reaction.

Spencer leans against the counter and examines her fingernails nervously while Glen tries to get a conversation with me going. "So what have you been up to lately?"

"School," I reply detachedly, still watching Mr. C. talk to Paula on the phone.

"School. Yeah. I remember when I used to go to school."

"Didn't you graduate last year?"

Glen spits out some sad excuse for a response, but I don't hear it because Arthur has hung up the phone and looks like he's about to speak.

"Alright, things are all set with Paula. She only has to work until seven tonight, so we'll wait until then to eat. Is that alright with you girls?"

"It's fine," Spencer replies faintly, still staring down at her nails, and I see Glen frown out of the corner of my eye.

"What about me? Don't I get a say?"

"Well, Ashley's our guest, Glen, and I've always taught you that guests are most important."

"But you said _girls_. That's looping Spencer in with Ashley."

"Do you just strive to be as annoying as possible?" I cut in, glaring at him, and Glen sticks his tongue out at me in response, then turns on his heel and leaves to go watch television in the living room. I can't believe he's actually older than me.

That leaves Spencer and I alone with her dad, which is super awkward until Arthur clears his throat and says, "So…Ashley, the one thing Glen's right about is that it's been a while since we've seen you. How have you been doing?"

"Fine," I reply, trying to be as vague as possible, even though I've been doing pretty amazing. Between dating Spencer, making up with Aiden, and not having to chaperone Kyla around everywhere, things have gotten a lot better since last October, when I first met Spencer.

"That's good." Spencer's eyes flicker back and forth between Arthur and I as he tries to think of something else to say. "Are you, maybe…seeing anyone?"

I think my heart stops for about a second or two, and Spencer's eyes widen at her dad's own forwardness.

Fuck. He knows. Spencer told him she was spending Valentine's Day with me, and if I were seeing anyone else, that wouldn't be the case, so he _has _to know. And if he doesn't, he's basically asking right now.

"U-Um…" Honestly, I really want to tell him yes, to just get it out in the open, because I know that Mr. Carlin is the coolest parent ever and that he'd be happy for Spencer and me…but I can't do that to Spencer. Not if she doesn't want me to. "No, actually. Still single."

"Hmm," is all he says for a while, and Spencer lets out a small sigh and shoots me a thankful look. I give her a small smile in response, and we all fall into another awkward silence after that. "So I guess that's why you and Spencer decided to spend Valentine's Day together?"

God, he's really not going to let this go.

"With Kyla and Aiden, too," I remind him, even though it's a lie.

"Right. Kyla and Aiden. Well, it's nice to know you two are getting along with Aiden again."

"Yeah, well…we couldn't just let him eat lunch alone for the rest of the year," I reply with a shrug, and Arthur smiles at me, then turns to Spencer abruptly, looking concerned.

"You okay, honey? You've been quiet this whole time."

"I'm fine," Spencer mutters, looking anywhere but at her dad.

"You sure?"

"Mhmm."

"Alright, well…" He stares at Spencer for a moment, and when she finally meets his eyes, says, "Just remember that I'll always love you, no matter what, okay?"

"Mhmm," Spencer repeats, but it comes out a little squeakier this time, and Arthur pats her on the shoulder, leaving the room.

The second he's gone, I press a palm to my forehead and let out a sigh. "Shit."

"See?" Spencer asks anxiously.

"Okay, well…we'll just have to do some serious damage control…unless…maybe it'd be okay if he knew?"

"Ash," Spencer says sharply, and I shoot her an exasperated look.

"Alright, fine, but I'm only doing this for you. Just…be as straight as possible at dinner tonight, and I'll…try to think of ways to make it seem like I don't like you or something, like we're just friends. Sound good?"

"What am I supposed to do, exactly?"

"How should I know; I'm not straight. Talk about boys a lot or something. Even feel free to be a little homophobic if you want."

Spencer scoffs. "I can't be homophobic. I'm still friends with you, remember?"

I wrinkle my nose. "You're right. Then just…" I trail off, unable to come up with any more ideas. "Well, you'll think of something. Now come on, we should probably try not to be alone together for too long or it'll look suspicious."

I head for the living room, and Spencer hurries after me just quickly enough to hiss, "I _won't _think of anything!"

"Sure you will," I whisper back, and we both join Glen on the couch in the living room and begin to mentally prepare ourselves to be as non-coupley as humanly possible.


	23. Paula Actually Celebrates Valentines Day

**A/N: Hey guys, sorry for the long wait. I had tons of homework and even a surprise party to go to so these last few days I've been too busy to update. Here's the new chapter!**

* * *

I almost forget about the entire problem regarding Spencer's dad once I'm sitting at the dinner table, because as it turns out, he made meatloaf again, and I'm really just looking forward to eating it rather than having to act like I don't think my girlfriend is my type.

Paula reminds us that we have to say Grace, and when we're finally done with that, I'm just about to take a bite of meatloaf when Spencer kicks me from under the table and shoots me an expectant look. I shrug at her, mouthing, "What am I supposed to do?"

She shrugs back and replies with, "Anything!"

Glen raises an eyebrow and looks back and forth between us, clearly noticing something's going on, and we have to look away from each other after that so we don't look too suspicious.

"So…" I start off, breaking the silence at the table. "Um…do you two have any plans for Valentine's Day?"

I can't believe I just said that to Spencer's parents.

Paula looks like she thinks I'm the rudest person she's ever met (well guess what, _Paula_, you're not exactly my favorite person either), but Arthur smiles at me and replies, "Yes, actually. We're going out to dinner."

"Oh, where?" I ask, although I really have no idea how I can twist this topic of conversation into something regarding the fact that I would never date Spencer.

"Well, we just wanted to do something simple, just to get out of the house, so we're going to Olive Garden."

"Ashley loves Olive Garden," Spencer pipes up, shooting me a look that's _supposed _to tell me something, but I have a feeling there's some miscommunication going on here. "Don't you, Ash?"

"Um…yeah."

"She spent last Valentine's Day there, actually."

"I did," I agree quickly, figuring I should just go along with whatever Spencer's saying. "I went with my old girlfriend." _Oh. _Smart, Spencer. Really smart.

"Oh, really? What was she like?" Arthur asks me. I brush Spencer's foot under the table with mine under the table in what I hope seems like an appreciative gesture, and she smiles down at her food.

"Um…well, I tend to like girls that are really outgoing and talkative," I start, mentally lining up all of Spencer's qualities and then finding their opposites. "And ones with really dark hair, brown eyes, and maybe a few tattoos. She had one on her wrist of a bloody heart." Okay, even though I don't agree with the reason I'm doing this, it _is _kind of fun. "Oh, and she had lots of piercings, you know, up the side of her ears. And a little stud in her nose. And a tongue ring."

Paula and Glen look mildly horrified, and Arthur stares at me for a moment, before bursting into laughter and reaching over to pat me on the back. Glen catches on and starts laughing, too, setting down the glass of water he'd been holding and grinning at me, adding, "Nice one, Ash." Paula goes back to normal and eats her food silently, and Spencer gives me this death glare that tells me I'm in huge trouble. Her whole family thought I was joking. Great.

Knowing there's really no point in denying that I was lying now, I go back to eating my food silently while Arthur and Paula start talking about work that day, and I'm busy moping about the fact that I actually even had to do this in the first place, so I don't really pay attention until I receive a sharp kick under the table from Spencer. My eyes flicker upwards briefly, and Spencer gestures towards her parents in a way that makes me think I probably just missed an opportunity to make some kind of anti me/Spencer comment. I close my eyes for a moment and exhale slowly, because now this whole situation is just starting to aggravate me. It's already hard enough hiding our relationship, but I really don't want to sit here and make statements against it, too.

I think Spencer senses something's wrong, because she says, "I just remembered; Ashley left a shirt here over Christmas Break and it's up in my room. Can we go upstairs so I can give it back to her?"

"Sure, honey," Arthur replies distractedly, still into his conversation with Paula, and Spencer looks over at me and tilts her head towards the stairs pointedly. I frown, but stand up when she does, already crossing my arms as I follow her upstairs. I'm not in the best mood, now, and if she yells at me, I'm yelling back.

"Alright," Spencer starts, closing her bedroom door behind us. "What's going on? You stopped trying."

"Well," I begin carefully, trying to say what I mean without it coming out wrong. "We've been dating for two months now, and what I said down there obviously didn't work, and I just think we should at least tell your dad, since he kind of seems like he knows anyway." Spencer opens her mouth to argue, but I cut her off and continue, "We've been having this argument since we first started dating, Spence, and you've won every time. Kyla knows because she's my sister and she knows everything about me without even trying; Aiden knows because we gave it away on _accident _the day he came over; and Clay knows because he walked in on us kissing. We haven't even really told _anyone_, and I'd like for us to be able to tell people, rather than them finding out from someone else or when they catch us kissing or something. Can't we just tell your dad? He likes me, and he _loves_ you. He won't mind." I sigh, watching as Spencer looks away from me and crosses her arms. "Or…at least, if you won't tell him, don't make me lie for you, because I can't do it again; I can't help that I love…"

Spencer's head turns sharply and her eyes are immediately on mine.

Fuck.

"…um…your dad's meatloaf," I mumble out, looking down at my feet. "It distracted me during dinner." I run a hand through my hair for a moment, then add, "I think I'm gonna go. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Ash…" Spencer starts in this tone that tells me she knows what I'd been about to blurt out, but I'm out of her room before she can stop me, heading downstairs. I can already see the door. "Ash, stop. Please."

"See you later, Spencer," I call back, keeping my tone normal now that I know Spencer's family can hear me. Something tells me Paula and Glen won't be all torn up if I leave early, and I really just need to get out of here, so I head outside without saying goodbye to anyone else, frowning when I realize it's raining out and I have to walk all the way across the front lawn to my car. Because rain is _exactly _what I need right now. Thank you, LA.

Spencer texts me on my way home, but I delete it without reading it, afraid of what it'll say, and when I get home, Kyla's in the kitchen, making some kind of gross-looking sandwich that she probably isn't actually going to eat. She looks up when I walk in, takes one look at my face, and asks, "What happened?"

Sometimes, it's nice to have a sister who knows how to read you like a book. Other times, like right now, it's the most annoying thing on Earth.

"Nothing," I retort, ignoring her attempts at helping me and sitting down on the couch in the living room, turning the television on. Kyla sits down next to me a minute later, abandoning whatever she's calling that thing she made in the kitchen.

"Want to watch a movie?"

I scoff. "You think that's the cure for everything." We exchange looks, and Kyla raises an eyebrow at me questioningly. I roll my eyes. "Fine. But not _Imagine Me and You_." That's practically become our code now for "I'm having Spencer problems", because while I do love being Spencer's girlfriend, our relationship is most certainly not perfect, and I've come home at least four or five times by now with the request to not watch _Imagine Me and You. _Kyla understands by now, and she doesn't question me after that.

I fall asleep with my head on her lap sometime during the last ten minutes of _The Grudge_.

* * *

When I wake up, I'm still on the couch, and I have this awful kink in my neck. Also, I'm practically lying on top of Kyla. "What the hell?" I mutter, nudging her awake and glaring down at her as her eyes flutter open. "Okay, I can understand why you didn't want to carry me to _my _bed, but you couldn't drag your ass like fifty feet to yours?"

"Shut up," Kyla retorts, pushing me off of her and sitting up. "That movie was scary and I didn't want to sleep alone."

"Why'd you choose it if you knew you were going to get scared?"

"Well, _obviously _I didn't know, otherwise I wouldn't have put it in."

"Whatever," I reply, getting off of the couch and stretching while I blink the sleep out of my eyes. I know that's all just Kyla-speak for "I needed an excuse to keep you company", but I play along anyway, just like I always do in these types of situations. We're careful about not acting like we care _too _much about each other. "You're such a baby."

"I'm a baby? You're the one who came in all depressed over Spencer for like the sixth time in two months."

"Who said I was depressed because of Spencer?"

"You said not to watch _Imagine Me and You_, which, need I remind you, is the whole reason we ended up watching a movie that made me afraid to leave the couch."

"Maybe I just didn't want to watch that movie this time."

"Yeah, right." She wrinkles her nose in disgust, then gestures towards my bedroom. "Now go take a shower, you smell like wet dog."

"Maybe because I was laying next to _you _all n-"

Kyla whacks me with one of the couch pillows before I can finish, and I throw it back at her, then run into my room before she can retaliate.

"I hate you," Kyla says from the other side of the door, but I can still sense her affectionate tone from here, and I smile to myself, leaning against the door for a moment.

"Thanks, Kyla," I finally reply, and it's Kyla's turn to be silent. When she _does _actually say something, all signs of joking are gone from her voice.

"No problem, Ash."

_This_ is one of those times where I'm glad Kyla gets me.

* * *

I _almost _don't pick Spencer up from school, just because I'm way too nervous and it's too early for me to see her again after what happened last night, but I'm not mean enough to just ditch her when she's probably expecting a ride. So when I'm on my way to school, I force myself to take the small detour that leads to Spencer's house, stopping in front and waiting patiently like I do every day.

A minute later, her front door opens and I see Spencer turn and wave goodbye to her dad as she leaves, who waves back in response. After that, Arthur smiles at me and gives me my own wave, and I force a smile as I return it, then turn away and grip the steering wheel with both hands until my knuckles turn white. Today is going to be so awful.

Spencer slips into the passenger's seat, and I can't tell if it's just my imagination, but she almost looks like she's floating, which I did not expect, considering I'm miserable right now and she is completely…_not_. Her eyes linger on her dad as he leans against the doorframe, watching us, then she turns to smile at me, and she _finally _looks a little nervous.

"Hey…did you get my text last night? You didn't reply."

I open my mouth to say something, but I'm not really sure how I'm supposed to tell her that I deleted her message without even reading it, so I just close my mouth and shake my head. Her face falls.

"You didn't?"

I clear my throat, finally finding my voice. "No. The battery died on my phone and I had to charge it last night. I didn't check my messages this morning."

"Oh." Her smile is back, and she gestures towards my phone, which is barely sticking out of my pocket. "Why don't you check it?" She looks a little anxious, and I'm starting to regret deleting that message.

"Um…why don't you just tell me what it said…says."

Spencer's too excited to catch my blunder, and she glances back at her dad, who is _still _watching us (probably waiting for us to drive away or something). "Well…it basically was just telling you that I decided to tell him."

Any anger I have towards Spencer evaporates. "What?" I shake my head quickly, scrapping that question. "I mean…did you?"

"Mhmm," Spencer replies proudly, nodding without looking away from Arthur.

"And what did he say to you? How did it go? What did _you_ say to _him_?"

"Ash, if you don't drive, we're going to be late," she tells me, and I glare at her, knowing she's trying to tease me now.

"You better talk on the way there," I command, shifting gears and stepping on the gas pedal.

"Well…" she starts, "after you said…after you left…" Mentally, I'm sighing in relief that she's skimming over the details of last night, because that's something I'm not ready to talk about yet. "I just…I thought about everything, and I decided that you were right, and that I needed to tell him. So after dinner, I told my dad that I needed to talk to him alone, and we went up to my room and sat down on my bed. And…I just kind of blurted out that you and I aren't just friends and that we've been seeing each other for the past two months." She pauses for a moment, and even though it seems like it's for suspense, I'm pretty sure she's just collecting her thoughts. "And then he said that he'd suspected something was going on for a while, ever since Christmas Break, and that the whole Valentine's Day thing basically cemented it. And…he told me he just wants me to be happy, and that as long as I'm happy with you, then he's okay with us." I smile, relieved, and Spencer pauses again. "But then he asked me if I was gay."

My eyebrows furrow at that. "And you said…?" I trail off, not completely sure what her response is going to be, since she's been doing the whole "no-labels" thing for a while now.

"And…I said yes. Just to…kind of test it out, you know? Like you did with Aiden. Or…I didn't say _yes_, but I told him that I think I am, and then I changed it to yes a few seconds later. And it was like you said; back when you told me how you came out to Aiden. It felt right. So I think…yeah." She nods to herself, then smiles at me. "I'm gay."

We fall into comfortable silence after that, and I lace our fingers together, grinning to myself. "You know, Spence," I finally say, "it looks like you might be stuck with me, because you just seriously narrowed down the dating field."

Spencer exaggerates a disappointed sigh. "Well, at least you have a convertible."

"I should've known. It's been the car from the very beginning, hasn't it?"

"Definitely, especially since I met you right before _winter_. The perfect time to ride with the top down."

"Naturally."

Spencer's quiet for a moment while I drum my fingers on the steering wheel, and eventually, our smiles fade and I'm focusing on the road again, deep in my own thoughts, most of which are about what I almost said last night.

"You know…" I glance over at Spencer when I hear her speak again, and she's staring down at our joined hands, running her thumb over mine gently. "If you ever want to tell me anything, Ash…I mean, you can. You can tell me anything. You know that, right?"

I nod, forcing a brief smile before I return my gaze to the street in front of me. I know what she's giving me permission to say, but last night was just too early for me, and honestly, it was a mistake. I rushed liking Spencer before I knew what I was doing, I rushed _dating _her before _she _knew what _she _was doing, and this is something that I'd prefer to wait a little longer to do, or, in this case, say. "Yeah, I know."

There's this brief silence where I think Spencer's waiting for me to say something else, and when I don't, she asks, "Well…is there anything you want to tell me?"

I close my eyes, and bite my lip, but then I remember that I'm driving and open my eyes again hastily. This is probably one of the most difficult positions I've ever been put in, and I can practically hear her unspoken request. _Say you love me_.

I can't.

I don't realize I've said that out loud until Spencer's grip on my hand loosens, and then she pulls her hand away completely. We're pulling into the parking lot as I shoot her an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, Spence. I…it's just too much right now. I feel like I'm giving you everything I have, and…I just need to keep this one thing for myself for a little while."

She looks more hurt than I thought she would, and it dawns on me now that she might've seen this whole situation as some kind of exchange, like my confession for hers. She tells her dad about us, I tell her I love her. And all of a sudden, I know I look as hurt as she does. "You can't…" I force out, trying to find the right words, but they aren't coming. "Why…is that why?" I finally question, and she just stares at me like she doesn't know what I'm trying to ask. "It doesn't work that way," I add, turning my car off and grabbing my keys. "Every person you tell isn't…some kind of _bargaining chip_."

"Wait, what?" Spencer cuts in here, and that's probably because she's just now getting what I'm trying to say. "You think that's why I told him?"

"Well, it sure seems like it now."

"It's not. It's not why I told him. _At all_. It's what convinced me telling him was the right thing to do, but it's not the _reason _I told him." She stares at me, waiting for a response, but I don't really have one. I'm too busy soaking in what she's saying. "Ash…" she eventually continues, "why do we argue so much?"

I swallow, closing my eyes. The last thing we need right now is another fight, especially since tomorrow is Valentine's Day. "I don't know."

I hear Spencer shift beside me, and then her breath is on my face for just a moment before she joins our lips so gently that I know I have to give in. All I ever _do_ is give in around Spencer, and if I don't, we end up fighting. And I don't even think she realizes that that's what's going on, which is part of the reason that this is so hard to stay mad at her for. But we can't keep doing this.

I pull away and break our kiss, shaking my head, and Spencer sighs, watching me as I look down at my lap. "It's temporary, Spence," I insist, still shaking my head. "We'll be fighting again in no time: about who we're telling, who we're _not _telling, what we're doing that's too suspicious, and I'll be caught between not wanting to push you to tell and wanting to be able to kiss you and hold you whenever I want."

"I _just _told my dad, Ash," Spencer presses, and I run a hand through my hair anxiously.

"I know. And that's good, that's such a huge step, but it's just…not _enough_. And I know that sounds bad and really demanding, but…the fact that you're hiding us makes me feel like you're ashamed of me."

"I'm _not_ ashamed of you. You know that."

"I just feel like you don't want to be with me as much as I want to be with you," I finally blurt out, and Spencer looks at me with furrowed eyebrows.

"How can you even say that?"

"Because every time we've had these arguments, I've given up and let you win because I care about your feelings and I didn't want to make you do something you weren't comfortable with. I set what I wanted aside because of what _you _wanted, every single time for the past two months. Yesterday was the first time you finally did give in, and it took me almost saying… _you _know…for you to do it. And when you told your dad, it turns out he was fine with it, and it helped you confirm you were gay. So how do you know telling other people won't be a good thing, too?"

"Somehow, I think kids at our high school won't be as accepting as my dad was." I give her a pointed look, and she sighs. "Okay, I know you've been amazingly understanding ever since we've started dating…"

"And…?"

"And…you're a really good kisser…"

"Spencer…" I whine, until I've realized exactly what she's said. "Wait, really?" Before she can reply, I shake my head quickly, all-business again. "No, come on."

Spencer sighs again, closing her eyes for a moment. "I guess…" She pauses, then opens her eyes. "Just give me some time. I can't do it today or even tomorrow, but I will soon. I'll tell everyone else."

"Okay," I agree, grinning at her.

"And my mom is _not _included in this," Spencer adds quickly. "She's last, right before I move out to go to college."

"What about Glen? Won't he tell?" I point out, but Spencer shakes her head.

"He's not _that _mean. He'll probably hate me, but not enough to tell mom while I'm still living with her."

"Oh." Spencer mentioning that her brother will hate her kind of makes me feel bad for getting her to agree to this. "Um…Spence?"

"It's not your fault," Spencer replies before I can say anything else. "You can't control how my family thinks, or how anyone else thinks. I never blamed this on you. Any of it."

I don't really know what to say to that, or how Spencer managed to figure out exactly what my question was going to be. It reminds me that this is still Spencer, the girl I fell for four months ago who practically knows what I'm thinking before I think it, and not just the Spencer who won't look at me for too long because she's worried it might look suspicious, or the one who is scared to tell everyone that when Madison teases us she's actually completely _right_.

"Do you think that once I do tell, the teasing will get worse?" Spencer asks me, and she sounds so anxious that I'm not sure I can actually tell her the truth.

"Well…" I trail off, and I'm pretty sure that's enough for her to figure out my answer, but I continue anyway. "It's…it depends on what you consider _worse_."

"Ash," Spencer says, and there's a hint of amusement in her tone. "I think worse has a pretty clear definition."

"It's just…there will be _more _of it, but it won't be anything different from what Madison's already saying. So it'll kind of be like a lot more people suddenly turning into Madison."

"Sounds like fun," she deadpans, and I watch her for a moment, sensing she's going to say something else. After a moment, she looks over at me. "But not like something I can't handle."


	24. The Best Day to Say I Love You

The first time I open my locker on Valentine's Day, Kyla and Aiden are on either side of me, bugging me about what Spencer and I's plans are for tonight. I'm just about to tell them that I'm not giving them specifics, when I actually look inside my locker and freeze mid-sentence.

"Ooh, look who's got a _secret admirer_," Kyla teases, snatching the large heart-shaped box of chocolates out of my locker and turning it over in her hands a few times. "Since, clearly, there's no card or signature on it."

"Give me that," I snap, taking the box from her and smiling down at it. Spencer's the only one who knows my locker combination.

"Is that chocolate?" Aiden cuts in, plucking it from my hands and already reaching for the lid. I lunge forward to take it back, but he pulls it out of my reach.

"Give it back; it's mine!" I whine, feeling a little like a small child, but those are _my_ chocolates, dammit! _And _they're from Spencer!

"Hey!" Aiden says all of a sudden as someone else snatches the box out of his hands, and I grin as Spencer dodges his attempt to take them back and then hands them over to me.

"Happy Valentine's Day," she whispers in my ear, and I grin over at Kyla, wiggling my eyebrows because I have Spencer and she has absolutely _no one_. Kyla just rolls her eyes and crosses her arms.

"So, Aiden," Spencer is saying once I stop making fun of Kyla long enough to pay attention, "are you doing something with Madison, or are you two still broken up?"

"Nah, she hates me now," Aiden replies, shrugging. "Ever since I broke up with her in December." I notice that he and Spencer seem to be dancing around the details of why he broke up with Madison, and for that, I'm thankful. Things are finally back to normal and I genuinely think Aiden is over Spencer. He hasn't been looking at her the same way I do for at least the past three weeks. "I actually think…she might be doing something with Glen today."

Spencer pales a little, and I honestly don't blame her. Even I'm feeling a little nauseas at the moment. "My brother?"

"Yeah. She's into the guys who are really good at sports, and when she couldn't have me, I guess Glen was second-best."

"Someone's full of themselves," Kyla replies, raising an eyebrow at Aiden, and he grins back at her, shrugging.

"You know it's true."

"Yeah, whatever. Come on, we wouldn't want you to be late for Weight Training," Kyla replies sarcastically, and I scoff as she pulls him down the hall, turning back to my locker.

"Has he seriously been taking Weight Training?" I ask rhetorically, and Spencer leans against the locker next to mine, looking past me at Aiden and Kyla.

"You know, they've been spending a lot of time together lately."

"Mhmm," I reply, busy staring at my books to try and figure out which one I need for my first class. "Hey, Spence? What do I have first period? I've skipped it so much that I forget sometimes."

"You've had that class all year!" Spencer replies incredulously, nudging me out of the way to grab the right book and hand it to me.

"Yeah, so?"

"It's February."

"And I have a trust fund," I reply easily.

"Don't you think you should still graduate?"

"Trust fund."

"Diploma."

"Who needs a diploma when you have a trust fund?" I point out.

"Uh, someone who wants to have a purpose in life?"

"I have a purpose," I tell her simply. "To spend money. From my trust fund."

"Stop saying that. Don't you want to wear-?"

I cut her off with a laugh at that, raising an eyebrow at her even as we're walking down the hall to our first classes. "No way. Caps and gowns do not look good on me."

"I just think-"

"Yes. You stick to the school thinking, and I'll do the more street-wise thinking. You have more school smarts, and I have more street smarts. It fits."

"Well…I have more common sense, too. You know…the stuff that tells you to do things like _graduate_?"

"Great," I reply easily, smirking at her as we reach my classroom. "So I know where to buy drugs, and you know not to do them. Happy Valentine's Day, Spence."

* * *

"Almost there…"

"Ash, I already know we're going up to your room. Why do I have to wear the blindfold?"

"Because the surprise is what's inside the room."

Spencer huffs, and doesn't say anything else for a minute or two while I get her up the stairs. "So I've been thinking…" she finally starts, "when I start coming out to people, do I tell them I'm gay, or do I say that I'm dating you?"

"Hmm…" I pause just outside of my bedroom, with one of my hands on each of Spencer's shoulders. "Well, if you're more comfortable with one, then I'd just go with that one, but if you don't have a preference, then I'd go with telling them you're gay. Because if you say you're dating me, that doesn't necessarily mean you're gay. But if you say you're gay, then it's immediately understood that you're dating me."

Spencer laughs at that. "Is it, now?"

"Yup."

"And why is that?"

"Maybe because we spend every spare second we have with each other and because I'm openly into girls? Not to mention Madison's constant advertising of our oh-so-obvious lesbianism?"

"Point taken. Now can we go in?"

"Hey, how do you know…Spencer!"

"Sorry," Spencer replies quickly, lifting the blindfold back up over her eyes. "How did you manage to get anything organized, though? You've been with me the whole time, so unless you did it this morning…"

"I have connections," I assure her, reaching for the doorknob and pushing my bedroom door open. I grin when I see that everything's just the way I wanted. "Okay…we are now entering the bedroom."

"Can I take the blindfold off?"

"In a second, Spence." I guide her inside the room and then shut the door behind us, taking in the way everything's set up.

There's a table I had brought in and placed in the center of my room, and it's low enough to the ground that we can sit on a couple of throw pillows and be way over the top of it. On the table are two small boxes of Chinese takeout, two sets of chopsticks, and two drinks, along with a few scented candles and a small mix CD I made her yesterday afternoon. Rose petals are scattered around the table for good measure, and I quickly grab the two decidedly squishiest pillows on my bed and toss them onto the floor next to the table, which makes the rose petals scatter in several different directions. I wince, trying to kick them back into place with my foot, and I've almost got them fixed when Spencer giggles from near the door, and I look up to see that she's taken the blindfold off without my permission. "Spencer…" I whine, and she tosses the blindfold off to the side and walks over to me, pulling me in for a quick kiss before I can complain any further.

"Ash, I love it," she tells me, then she pulls me over to the pillows and plops right down on one, looking up at me expectantly. I flush a little, then clear my throat and sit down next to her, gesturing towards the table.

"Right. Well, I didn't know what you wanted to eat, but I figured chicken and rice was a pretty safe choice and I like playing with the chopsticks, so…" Spencer rolls her eyes at me, smiling, and I squeeze her hand playfully. "And…the candles are scented, as you can probably tell. They're vanilla, just like my shampoo, because you've told me before that vanilla's your favorite smell." Now she's raising an eyebrow at me, and it makes me feel like I'm missing something. "What?"

Spencer laughs, shaking her head. "Just keep going, Ash."

"Alright, well…and I made you this CD as a Valentine's present because we both know I'm completely obsessed with music, and plus it has lots of sappy love songs and I know you love that kind of stuff." She giggles at that, and I stare down at our joined hands for a moment, not knowing what else to say.

"I can't believe you did all this," Spencer tells me, and when I open my mouth to correct her, she says, "You know what I mean."

"Yeah, well…" I trail off, shrugging, and Spencer tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear, smiling sincerely when I meet her eyes.

"Ashley Davies, you are the single most amazing person I've ever met," she tells me, and although I know a silly grin's spreading across my face and my heart is warming over, I have to disagree.

"Nah, I'm not that great, there are plenty of people out there that are more amazing than me. Like…your dad."

"I'm not in love with my dad," Spencer replies easily, rolling her eyes, and I'm pretty sure my heart stops as I wait for her to realize what she's just said.

When she does, her eyes widen and her cheeks turn red, and she stammers out, "I'm sorry; I didn't-"

"Don't apologize," I cut in quickly, and I'm so relieved that I actually found my voice in the first place that I don't even care how desperate I sound. "Please don't apologize for it."

Spencer closes her mouth and averts her gaze to the ground, and I use the quiet to let the full magnitude of what she's said sink in.

Spencer's in love with me.

I'm in love with Spencer.

Happy Valentine's Day to _me_.

I give a small start when I hear a sniff from next to me, and I realize a second later that Spencer's crying. There are tears already running down her face and everything, and it's terrifying to me, because I've never really had to deal with taking care of someone who's crying. Sure, Kyla has her moments, but I just make fun of her and then she wipes away her tears and we argue. That won't work with Spencer, especially now.

"Hey," I say softly, scooting closer to her and wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "Don't cry, Spence. It's Valentine's Day. You're supposed to be happy, and we should be eating rice with chopsticks or making out to the CD I made you right now. What's wrong?" I hesitate for a moment, then reach up and brush away her tears with my thumb, and that's what finally gets her to look at me.

"I just…I didn't want the first time to be like that. Now I know how you felt yesterday. But at least you get another chance. I just ruined mine."

"No, you didn't _ruin_ it," I assure her, rubbing her back in what I hope comes off as a comforting gesture. "I think it was perfect. Any and every time you say that to me, it's going to be perfect, Spencer."

"Yeah?" she asks hopefully, wiping at her eyes with the back of her hand and sniffing again.

"Of course. And you said it on Valentine's Day. When else is there a better time?"

"I guess…" She sighs, then straightens up and brushes her hair out of her face, shifting so she's staring into my eyes. "And…well, since you know now anyway, I suppose I might as well make it official." She leans forward to rest her forehead against mine, and I can feel my heart beating frantically in my chest as I await her next words. "I love you, Ashley Davies."

She kisses me right after she says it so that I don't get a chance to reply, and I'm thankful that Spencer knows me well enough to do stuff like that, because if she hadn't kissed me and had waited for a response instead, I wouldn't have known what to say. What can you say to something like that? "I love you too"?

I wish I could be brave enough to say it, like Spencer is…but I'm not.

Not yet, at least.

* * *

We end up putting the CD I made Spencer into the computer on my desk and curling up on my bed together while we listen to it, foregoing the food completely for now.

"What's the first song?" Spencer asks me just as we're getting settled, and I glance over at the computer, knowing it's going to start playing anytime now.

"You'll see," I reply softly, scooting closer to her and pressing a kiss to the top of her shoulder, and I have to admit that now that we're actually going to listen to this thing together, I'm a little nervous. I mean, I really went all-out with this one. It's got songs with lyrics like "I'm falling even more in love with you" and "I just wanna sit and stare at you". Plus I even put on that Thousand Miles song from _White Chicks_, and a Kelly Clarkson song, just because I know Spencer likes her so much.

Jesus, she's turned me into such a sap. And it's a little terrifying when I think about it, when I really sit back and just _think_ about how much she's changed me. But before Spencer, I was a complete train wreck, and I kind of like this me a lot better than the old me.

At least the whole thing isn't cheesy, though. I put "Dirty Little Secret" on there last, because Spencer'll totally laugh at the joke even if it is in bad taste, and it'll be a good way to ease the tension the other songs will have created.

I have put a lot of thought into this.

Spencer shifts next to me and I realize that we are well into the first song, as well as that Spencer is smiling at me even as we're resting our heads just inches away from each other's on the same pillow. "Is the whole CD going to be this nice?" she asks me gently, and I flush a little when the song we're listening to declares "I'll be the greatest fan of your life".

I _may_ have snuck a few peeks at Spencer's mp3 player over the past week or so, to get an idea of what kind of songs she likes.

"Most of it," I finally tell her, nodding slightly, and she smiles at me in response.

"Goodbye old you, when love is true," she recites, and I snort without meaning to.

"You're so weird."

"It's from a Kelly Clarkson song."

"I noticed."

Spencer grins this time, then snuggles up to me and closes the already miniscule distance between our bodies, resting her head on my chest in a way that makes me sure she can feel my heart pounding frantically.

"Why are you nervous?" she asks almost immediately, and I tense just a little bit, then hope she doesn't notice.

"I'm not."

Spencer tilts her head up until our eyes meet and just stares at me wordlessly for a moment, but she doesn't argue with me, and eventually, I snake an arm around her body and let out a deep breath, closing my eyes and forcing myself to relax. "I knew you had a sensitive side down in there somewhere," Spencer murmurs after a moment, and that's the last thing either of us says for a while, simply resting against each other as the computer clicks through song after song and I grow more and more embarrassed with each passing second that Spencer doesn't tell me what she's thinking.

It's when we reach the Kelly Clarkson song, which is the next to last one, that I feel Spencer move again, and when I open my eyes, her face is over mine and she's grinning down at me. "You know, you still haven't bought me those posters," she reminds me, and I frown at her.

"That's all you have to say?"

Her gaze softens at that, and a small smile forms on her lips. "Of course not, Ash." She seems to think her next words over for a moment, and her expression is serious by the time she finally speaks again. "It's just…have you noticed that almost every song we've listened to has had the word 'love' in it as least once? And I guess I'm wondering…if it's like that because you're too scared to say it yourself."

My cheeks are immediately pink for a reason I can't explain, and I honestly had not considered this for one second while I'd been making the CD, even if maybe it is true. "Of course not, I'm not…" I start to say, but I trail off for some reason, unable to get my last word out, and Spencer leans down to close the distance between us, pressing her lips softly against mine for a moment before she pulls away.

"It's okay to be scared, Ash," she whispers, brushing my hair out of my eyes. "I'm scared, too. We're both…incredibly stubborn, and I'm afraid one day we'll have another fight and we won't be able to sort it out, or one of us will get angry and say something we don't mean. Or that once everyone finds out about us, I won't be strong enough to walk down the halls holding hands with you like I know you want to, and I'll disappoint you even more than I already have."

"You haven't-" I start to say, but Spencer presses a finger to my lips lightly, and I close my eyes instinctively, letting her finish.

"…I've been wondering, too…" she says after a while, and she's still close enough that I can feel her breath on my face, "if…do you think it's naïve of me to hope that we're still together like this ten years from now? To even…_think_ that _maybe_ this isn't just a high school fling?"

My eyes open at that, and my first instinct is…well, I really have no idea what to say to that, actually. Half of me wants to tell her that there's no way I consider us just a fling, and the other half of me is busy fantasizing about Spencer and I being together ten years from now, just to try and figure out what it might be like. Either way, I definitely know how I feel about her.

"I'd love to be with you ten years from now," I tell her honestly, sliding a hand up the smooth skin of her arm, then retracing the path back down once I've reached her shoulder.

Spencer's smile widens just a little bit, and then she tilts her head to the side all of a sudden, turning to look in the direction of my computer. "Is that 'Dirty Little Secret'?"

I give her a sheepish look when her eyes are on me again. "Yeah. But ignore the lyrics of the verses."

Spencer just laughs, though, and leans down so that her eyes are staring deep into mine as she whispers, "I love you." The corners of her lips are still tugging upwards even as I open my mouth for a moment, trying to coax myself into saying it back because I really do love her, but I'm still just not ready to make that commitment yet. Before I can stammer anymore, Spencer covers my lips with her finger again and just breathes out, "I know."

When she kisses me again, I know I'm smiling against her lips.


	25. Coming Out Creates Competition

"I want you."

It's a phrase I've said to Spencer too many times to count. I've said it while we've been making out, I've whispered it into her ear at random times so that only she can hear it (and enjoyed the blush that followed), hell, I've even written it to her in the notes we still pass in Contemporary Literature class.

Tonight, just a few hours after listening to that CD with her, is the first time _she _says it to _me._

We're kissing lightly and casually before she does, but the second the words are out of her mouth, a shiver is making its way down my spine and I can practically feel my eyes darkening a shade.

"Ash." Her voice rips me from my thoughts and I'm immediately focused on the girl currently lying beneath me on my bed. Her cheeks are slightly pink and she looks a little mesmerized once she gets a good look at my eyes.

"Yeah?" I ask huskily, resisting the urge to just kiss her again, and Spencer's blush darkens.

"Well…I was going to ask if you heard me, but it kind of seems like you did. I'm…I'm tired of waiting, Ash. Isn't there _anything _we can get away with?"

It takes me a moment to absorb this. _Spencer _is asking _me _about loopholes?

I shake my head hopelessly. "I don't think so."

We're both quiet, just breathing heavily for a moment, and I feel Spencer reach for my hand in the near-darkness, grabbing onto my wrist and then tugging it upwards lightly. I have no idea where she's going with this until she's actually raised my hand to chest-level and literally pressed my palm to…well, her chest. For a moment I think my eyes are going to pop out of my head, and then this uncomfortable and foreign feeling settles into my stomach, seemingly out of nowhere. I'm all for making out, and at first I was all for having sex, but now that Spencer's just told me she loves me today, the last thing I'm thinking about is actually taking the next step. Sex and love go together for me like oil and water, and it's always been that way. Spencer's not just another girl at some club, so I don't want to treat her like one.

"Spencer, I don't think this is a good idea."

"We're not having sex yet," she replies simply.

"We'll want to."

"I already want to," she says honestly, and I have to struggle to keep my breathing steady as I reply.

"Me too." I close my eyes and swallow so heavily that I can hear it, then force myself to pull my hands away from Spencer and climb off of her, and when even that doesn't help, I get off of my bed completely and take a moment to calm myself down. "But this just makes it worse," I finish between deep breaths and heavy exhales. "We can't do stuff like this. I…I really like you Spencer, and I want to do this right. If I sleep with you…"

Spencer's quiet for a moment, chewing on her bottom lip until she finally looks up at me. "Are you sure this is about that stupid law, Ash?"

I'm quiet for a moment, not sure how to reply to that. "It was at first. But…not so much now. No."

"Then…" She stares at me for a moment. "You're afraid to have sex with me?" I look away from her, feeling my heart pounding quickly in my chest because I have no idea what her reaction's going to be like to what I have to say.

"Not _afraid_…but I haven't had sex with anyone outside of a club since my dad died, which was a while back. That's what it's been like for me for a while now. And I don't know what I'm supposed to do now, because I feel like if we_ did _do it, it'd…like you'd be tainted or something."

"You know…it's different when…when you're in love with someone. Okay?"

"Can we just not talk about this anymore?" I mumble, and Spencer's cheeks go pink.

"I'm sorry..."

"It's okay," I reply, joining her on the bed again, and then looking over at my clock to check the time. "It's almost 8:30," I tell her, fully intending on acting like this conversation never just happened, and I think Spencer gets that. "I wonder where Kyla is. She must've actuallyhad plans for Valentine's Day if she's staying out this late."

Spencer raises an eyebrow at me, looking like she's trying hard not to smile, and I raise an eyebrow right back.

"What?"

"Ash, don't tell me you haven't noticed."

"Noticed what?"

Spencer sighs. "Kyla and _Aiden_. They're…you know. Well, I don't know what they are, actually…but they're probably spending this afternoon together."

I wrinkle my nose, then shrug. "Well, whatever. I guess if you can't find a date, one of your best friends is the next best thing."

"I think they _are _each other's dates, Ash. They're always hanging out together, even when you're not around, and I don't know if you noticed, but the more time Aiden and Kyla started spending together, the less he seemed to like me. And now they're practically inseparable and Aiden doesn't have feelings for me anymore. There's a direct correlation."

"But…" I furrow my eyebrows, wondering how I could've missed this. I'm really a lot more wrapped up in Spencer than I originally thought, I suppose. "I thought they already tried this once and it didn't work."

"Well, maybe they decided to try again."

"That's…" I groan. "Whatever. I'm having a talk with Aiden about this tomorrow."

"Why don't you just talk to Kyla when she comes home tonight?"

I scoff. "Okay, Kyla's stupid, but she's not a _complete _idiot. I'm much more likely to get Aiden to slip up."

Spencer rolls her eyes, and I can tell she's hiding another smile. "If you insist."

* * *

"Aiden."

Just the sound of my voice directly behind him has Aiden jumping and nearly dropping all of his books, and I smirk, crossing my arms as he turns around to face me. "Er…Ash. Hey. What's up?"

"What were you doing with my sister last night?"

Aiden pales, opening and closing his mouth for a moment while he searches for an answer. I wait patiently, and finally, he asks, "How did you know I was with her last night?"

"I didn't," I reply pointedly, and his lips part in surprise, but then he winces as I prod his chest with my index finger, not afraid to lecture him in the middle of the hallway. "Alright, Aiden, this is how it's gonna work: if you want to date my sister, you're _not _going to treat her like shit, you're _not _going to take advantage of her or cheat on her, and you're _definitely _not going to treat her like she's your second choice. If I find out you've done any of those things, you can say goodbye to your little basketball scholarship because I will personally use my inheritance to make sure someone's hired to break both of your legs in several different places. Also, expect the same kind of treatment if I find out that you've told Kyla any of what I just said to you. Are we clear?"

Aiden blinks in surprise for a moment, then nods his head quickly. "It's different this time, Ash, I swear."

I hold up a hand, telling him not to continue. "I don't want to hear it. Just don't fuck this up, and I won't fuck _you _up. Because if I hear from _anyone _that you're dating my sister just have sex with her, like you did _last time_, I'll-"

"Hey, guys!" Kyla cuts in brightly, arriving before I can finish my sentence, and she's grinning so brightly at Aiden that I wonder how I could've possibly not noticed this before.

I give Aiden one last warning glare, then turn to Kyla and ask, "Hey, have you seen Spencer?"

"Not since this morning," Kyla replies, shrugging, and then she smirks at me and crosses her arms. I already know what she's going to ask, because she got in so late last night that we didn't really get to talk anyway. "How did your date go yesterday?"

"Better than yours, I'm sure," I tell her haughtily, "considering I actually _had _a date."

Kyla just sticks her tongue out at me, and I roll my eyes and leave to go find Spencer, content with playing dumb as far as Kyla and Aiden for now. Personally, I'd rather not know the details of what they spent yesterday afternoon doing.

"Hey," I greet her warmly when I've finally found her. She's just outside our Contemporary Lit classroom, apparently having just finished a conversation with Mrs. Yorke. It's a funny way to spend the short break between classes, in my opinion.

"Hey," she replies brightly. "I was just talking to her about colleges and all that. Letters should start coming in soon, and I can't wait to see which ones I've been accepted to."

Whatever I was about to say about Kyla and Aiden dies in my throat, and my eyebrows furrow worriedly. "Right. College."

Spencer catches the look on my face, and grins at me, rolling her eyes. "Don't worry, Ash. I didn't apply to anywhere across the country or something. The farthest one's like four hours away from here."

"Four hours?" I repeat hesitantly. "That's still far away."

"Yeah, but it's close enough that I could come back here every other weekend or so. Don't worry about it." She brushes past me and heads down the hall, and I take that as my cue to fall into step beside her and walk her to her next class. It's our normal daily routine. "So anyway, did you talk to Aiden?"

* * *

After a week has passed since Valentine's Day, it occurs to me that Spencer has been telling me she loves me at least once every single day. It's almost like she has a feeling I'm going to be ready to say it back soon, and wants to give me plenty of opportunities to do so. Instead, I've actually been creating a mental list of ways to change the subject every time she says it, which only makes me feel even _worse _about not being able to say it back.

"I love you," she tells me blatantly one afternoon, as we're walking back to my car so that I can drive her home from school.

"Whatever happened to you coming out?" I ask quickly, catching her off-guard. "You said you'd do it soon."

"Yeah, and that was only a week ago," Spencer points out. "I'm just waiting for the right time."

I snort, rolling my eyes. "There is no right time."

Spencer just gives me this cryptic half-smile, then repeats, "I love you."

"So how's your dad been treating you ever since you told him about us?"

* * *

"I love you."

I shift uncomfortably in my seat, chancing a glance at Spencer out of the corner of my eye, only to see her watching me expectantly.

"Spencer," I mumble under my breath, just quietly enough that nobody can hear us. Spencer's lucky she knows how to whisper, too, because it'd be kind of weird having someone else overhear her telling me she loves me in the middle of class. "Stop saying that all the time. It's really starting to make me uncomfortable."

Spencer just lets out this little laugh that makes me feel like I'm not getting something, and I huff to myself, crossing my arms and glaring at her. "What?"

"Nothing," she replies innocently, twirling her pencil between two fingers, then turning towards me in her seat, still keeping her voice down to a whisper. "Anyway, I meant to tell you: I think I'm going to join prom committee. I hear it's fun. But the first meeting's this Friday, so I was wondering if you could maybe give me a ride home afterward."

"What time?" I reply, rolling my pencil back and forth across my desk absentmindedly.

"Say…sixish?"

"On Friday?"

"Yeah."

I shrug. "Sure."

* * *

"Hey, Ash."

"Hmm?"

"I love you."

I grit my teeth for a moment, then take a few deep breaths to calm myself down, remaining silent for a moment as I listen to the roar of the other students around me in the lunchroom. Kyla and Aiden are flirting across from Spencer and me, oblivious to anything and anyone else, and they're only adding to my frustrations. Meanwhile, Spencer is steadily ruining my Friday by continuously professing her love for me on several different occasions, much like she's been doing ever since Valentine's Day.

I'm already stressed out by this, but then when you throw in Aiden and Kyla, Spencer's coming out issue, the fact that Spencer and I are tiptoeing around the whole sex talk we had, _and _the college issue, along with all of life's everyday problems, I'm seriously about to crack.

"Why are you doing this?" I hiss to her, and Spencer simply shrugs mysteriously, angering me further. "It's driving me crazy, and you're turning it into…" I give up trying to explain, and just sigh instead. "Are you trying to teach me some kind of lesson?"

Spencer fiddles with her fork for a moment, then finally says, "Well…I figure if I say it enough, you'll get so used to it that it won't feel like as much of a big deal when you finally do say it back."

I wrinkle my nose because this makes zero sense to me. I mean, it does as far as what she's just said, but… "Why would you want it to not be a big deal?"

Spencer looks over at me, smiling slightly. "I meant that it won't feel like such a big deal for _you_. It'll be huge for me, of course, but I don't want you stressing about it anymore than you already are."

I'm a little taken aback by this, but I'm not quite done with arguing with her yet. "But it's actually making it worse."

"How so?" Spencer questions lightly. "Do you feel more pressured to say it?"

"_Yes_."

"I'm sorry," Spencer says sheepishly when she hears my response, clearly not expecting it. "I'll stop."

I feel my face heat up a little bit, but I nod my agreement, wondering why that actually kind of disappoints me a little bit.

* * *

A week passes, and I'm kind of regretting the whole "making Spencer stop telling me she loves me" idea, because I'm starting to miss hearing her say it. It'd be nice to be able to find a balance between hearing her say it all the time and never hearing her say it at all. But I can't exactly _talk _to her about it. Can I?

"So I heard the new _Twilight _movie's out in theaters," Spencer tells me while I'm rummaging through my locker in the morning, and I pause to look over at her incredulously.

"Let me guess: you want to go see it?"

"Maybe?"

"God," I scoff. "Between Kelly Clarkson and _Twilight_, I don't know how I can stand you."

"I should've known you don't like it. You don't like anything popular."

"I liked you," I point out, wrinkling my nose at her.

"Past tense, Ash?"

"Because you _used _to be popular. Not 'cause I used to like you," I whisper. There are other people around who could be listening in.

"I'm not sure that makes me feel any better," Spencer replies, pouting, and I roll my eyes, turning back to my locker.

"So I meant to tell you…" I start off slowly. "You don't have to stop saying it _completely_."

"Saying what?" Spencer asks obliviously, and I sigh quietly, lowering my voice again.

"That you…you know…_love _me."

Spencer smiles at me, then hugs her books to her chest and glances at the crowded hall we're in the middle of. "Want me to say it right now?"

I follow her gaze, and then feel my face flush red. "Not if you don't want to. I guess I just…kind of miss it," I admit.

"Why?" she questions innocently, and it only makes my blush darken even more.

"I like hearing it every now and then," I tell her quietly, and Spencer's smile widens.

"I like saying it."

"Well, I wasn't banning you from saying it. Just…maybe less frequently, so it stays special."

"Okay," Spencer agrees, and I close my locker and smile at her, moving to get past her so I can walk to my next class. She grabs my arm, though, pulling me back, then steps so close to me that there's no way we look just friendly to anyone watching us. "So…I've been thinking…and I think I know how I want to do the whole 'coming out' thing," she whispers to me, and I know I'm just staring at her, shocked that Spencer's this bold all of a sudden.

"How?" I whisper back, though I'm pretty sure I can already tell because Spencer's leaning forward and her hand is already on my cheek.

Our lips have barely brushed before we're both suddenly being yanked away from each other, and when I come to my senses, Kyla has both of her hands on my shoulders, and Aiden's behind Spencer in the same position.

"What the hell do you two think you're doing?" Kyla hisses to me. "Spencer isn't out yet!"

"That was the _idea_," I say, groaning and looking around us hopefully while Spencer glares up at Aiden. There are a couple of nerdy freshmen guys gaping at us from across the hall and rubbing at their eyes, but they aren't the kind of people anyone else at King High would take seriously, and it seems that nobody else even noticed Spencer and I's sort of almost kiss.

"_That's _how you're going to do it?" Kyla asks incredulously, and Spencer breaks away from Aiden to march over to us. Her arms are crossed.

"It's the easiest way," she insists.

"It's also a total cop-out," Kyla retorts.

"Then how did you come out?" Spencer asks me curiously as Aiden approaches us, too.

"Aiden told everyone," I tell her, shooting him an accusatory glare, and he at least has the decency to look sheepish.

* * *

"I just…I don't know how I'm supposed to do this."

"Are you sure you just aren't as ready as you thought you were?" I ask tentatively, watching Spencer pick at her nails across from me on my bed.

She looks up at me, raising an eyebrow. "No, I'm definitely ready. Stop feeling guilty."

"I don't feel g-" Spencer shoots me a look, and I sigh. "Alright." I pause. "…Are you sure I'm not-?"

"You're not pushing, Ash," Spencer laughs out, rolling her eyes at me and crawling forward until her face is just inches from mine. "It's not like you've given me a deadline or something. I said I'd do it, and I'm ready, so now I've just got to figure out the right way to go about this." She reaches up to cup my cheek, pecking me on the lips so swiftly that I don't have a chance to kiss back. I pout at her. "And as much as I love kissing you, I guess that isn't the best way to do it."

"You could tell Kyla and Aiden to just start spreading the word," I suggest, and Spencer considers that for a moment.

"That's not personal enough, though." She wrinkles her nose. "Maybe I should just stand up on a table in the middle of lunch one day and shout out that I'm gay and dating you."

"Please don't," I reply hastily, and Spencer laughs again.

"I'm just kidding." She leans forward and buries her face in my neck for a moment, and I wrap my arms around her, pulling her closer. I can feel her kissing my neck lightly, and I know my eyes are unconsciously fluttering shut as I let out a soft sigh.

"Hold hands with me tomorrow," I mumble out as another suggestion. "People'll wonder, they'll ask, and we can tell them what's going on. And from there it'll spread."

I feel Spencer smiling against my skin, and she nods shortly in response. "Okay. We'll do that."

* * *

"Hey, Ash, this is Carmen. She's joining prom committee, too."

I stare at the girl Spencer was talking to when I pulled up to the school this afternoon to pick her up, taking in her appearance for a moment while Spencer has this grin on her face that makes me think she's just glad this is one person who knows she's gay now and doesn't hate her.

Uh, yeah. Judging by the way Carmen's looking at Spencer every few seconds, she _definitely _doesn't hate her.

I've come to notice over these past few months that Spencer doesn't have a gaydar. At all. So it doesn't surprise me that she has no idea Carmen is currently confusing her with a large t-bone steak.

Okay, I know Spencer's gorgeous, but this is the _day _she came out! And she did it by holding hands with me all day, _Carmen_, so in case you haven't noticed, she's mine. Not yours. And she never will be.

"Hi, I'm Ashley," I reply, putting on my best fake smile as I shake Carmen's hand. My unoccupied hand finds its way to Spencer's and laces our fingers together, and I see Carmen's eyes dart towards our joined hands. She raises an eyebrow. "Spencer's girlfriend." God, that feels good to finally say.

"Really." Carmen lets go of my hand eventually, crossing her arms and looking back and forth between us. "I thought the whole hand-holding thing was a stunt to help _her _come out..." She better have been the only one with this mindset, because I don't want anyone else thinking Spencer's single. "…Not that you two were actually dating."

I hate her already.

"Nope, Ash and I are together," Spencer says in this obliviously happy tone. She's been this happy ever since people started questioning us this morning, which I'm really glad to see, but I kind of wish she'd just clue in on what's really going on right now.

Just when Aiden's finally out of the way, I have competition again.


	26. Ashley vs Carmen

**A/N: Since I didn't update for three days in a row last week, and these next two chapters kind of go together hand-in-hand anyway, I think I'm going to post both tonight. **

* * *

"So I was thinking…you don't _have _to join prom committee…"

"I know. I want to. Actually, I meant to ask you for another ride tomorrow after school. There's another meeting."

"But…why? Prom sucks, anyway."

Spencer's lips part in surprise, and she shoots me this incredulous look from beside me at our lunch table. It's Monday, so I'm a little half-dead at the moment, but I still don't miss that look. "You think prom sucks?"

"Uh…_yeah_. It's completely overrated. Who'd go?"

Spencer drops her fork at that, then turns to face me. "You don't want to go to prom."

It occurs to me then that I've probably just royally screwed up, because obviously if I was going to prom I'd go with Spencer, and if I don't go to prom, that means she doesn't either. Or if she does go, it's dateless, because I honestly can't see her going with someone else. Not even Carmen. Thankfully. "Well…do you?" It's not until the end of April, so…_maybe _I could convince myself to go by then. If Spencer really wants me to.

"Yeah," Spencer replies, a little guiltily, and I sigh, reaching for her hand and ignoring the kissy faces several guys are making at us right now. The teasing is finally starting to set in, clearly, but I don't really care. If Spencer does, she isn't letting it show. "Will you at least think about it?"

I nod before I can even register that's what I'm doing, and Spencer smiles at me, then kisses me again, and we ignore the ensuing wolf-whistles from those previously mentioned guys.

When we're at our lockers together after lunch, sharp footsteps echo down the halls and reach my ears, but before I can turn to find their source, Madison has blown past me and is slamming Spencer's locker door shut with enough force to make everyone in the hall jump, especially Spencer. Then she starts yelling at Spencer frantically in Spanish, and while I don't understand a thing of it, I know Spencer's pretty good in Spanish and probably can pick up on at least a few select words and phrases.

"I'm sorry, could you repeat that? Ashley was busy hypnotizing me with her lesbian mind control powers and I wasn't paying attention," Spencer deadpans when Madison is finished, and I raise an eyebrow at the two of them curiously, wondering what Madison's problem is.

"_Dios mio_, Spencer, I was _kidding _about you two being lesbians. You weren't supposed to _actually_…" She groans, and I let myself into their conversation.

"Sorry, but I don't see how this has anything to do with you."

Madison turns towards me, glaring, and I cross my arms in response. "I'm dating her brother, aren't I? His business is my business, and if he isn't okay with this, then neither am I."

"Glen knows?" Spencer gasps out, and Madison rolls her eyes, scoffing.

"No, not yet. It spread to the basketball team over the weekend, so he'll know after this afternoon, though. And he's going to kill the two of you when he finds out." She sighs like she actually cares, then shakes her head. "Well, whatever. If you two are as gay as you seem to be, there's nothing he can do to change it. But please don't bother leaving _me _to deal with the pissed off shell of your brother once he realizes you're gay, because _I'm _not taking care of him."

With that, Madison stalks away in her four-inch heels, leaving me and Spencer to exchange looks of disbelief. "Well, isn't she quite a catch," I finally comment.

* * *

The one good thing about Madison's talk with us is that it forewarned us of when Glen was going to find out, so we already decided it would be better to just let him drive Spencer to school Tuesday morning, instead of me showing up at their house.

Unfortunately, that means that when I get out of my car this morning and spot Spencer near the front of the school, talking to _Carmen, _of all people, I've hardly taken a step forward before I'm suddenly pinned against the side of my own car with so much force that it actually hurts.

"What did you do to my sister?"

Even in my current position, I can still manage to be a smart-ass. "I turned her gay and forced her to fall in love with me."

"She's not gay, and she's not in love with you," Glen growls, pressing me harder into the metal, and my mind's actually more occupied with the idea of Spencer and Carmen talking uninterrupted than of Glen practically suffocating me here.

"Did she tell you that?"

"It doesn't matter. She's not _allowed _to love you."

"Says who? She can love whoever she wants, and looks like I'm the lucky girl, so you're just going to have to deal because I love her too," I tell him haughtily, crossing my arms. It's kind of funny that the first time I've said it out loud, it's to Glen. No, actually, that's not funny. It's sad.

"You're a bitch," he spits out venomously.

"And you're an asshole. Now let go of me."

"Not until you promise to leave my sister alone."

I scoff, shoving him away at that, and he's surprised enough by the contact that he actually lets go of me and stumbles a little. "I would rather die," I declare, and Glen cracks his knuckles.

"That can be arranged."

I ignore his comment, continuing with, "Spencer and I have been dating since before I even stayed with you guys over Christmas Break. I hate to break it to you, but I'm not going anywhere unless Spencer wants me to."

Glen works his jaw back and forth for a moment, then retorts, "Fine. We'll see." He storms off without saying anything else, and by the time I get another look at the front of the school, Spencer and Carmen have gone inside. I close my eyes and let out a quiet sigh, then decide to just go ahead and skip first period today and go to Starbucks. I could really use some coffee right now.

* * *

"Where were you this morning?" Spencer asks me when she spots me at my locker between first and second period. I shrug calmly without looking at her.

"I decided to skip class and go for a coffee run," I tell her, being partially truthful, and then it dawns on me that if Glen was such an ass to me this morning, he couldn't have been all sunshine and rainbows to Spencer, either. "Hey, what happened with you and Glen yesterday afternoon, after he found out?"

This seems to distract Spencer from questioning me, and she wrinkles her nose with disgust as I turn to look at her. "Ugh. We spent all afternoon arguing upstairs, where mom and dad wouldn't hear us. Apparently, you've brainwashed me."

"Naturally," I reply, rolling my eyes and crossing my arms, and Spencer sighs quietly as I close my locker and lean against it calmly.

"Hey, you ladies into three-ways?" some idiot asks teasingly as he passed by us, and I raise my middle finger in his general direction without even looking to see who it is. Spencer sighs again.

"Well, Madison's never said _that _before," she attempts to joke after a moment of silence, and I give her a small smile, reaching forward to take her hand.

"It'll get better," I promise.

* * *

When Spencer and I sit down to eat lunch a couple of hours later, Aiden and Kyla are already there, and they are holding hands openly now, apparently having realized that Spencer and I aren't stupid and have clued into their little "thing".

"I'm surprised you're okay with this, actually," Spencer whispers into my ear as we both watch them exchange grins and feed each other fries.

"I had a talk with Aiden," I tell her, shrugging, then turning to frown at her. "Please promise me we'll never get like that."

Spencer plucks a fry off of her tray and waves it in my face, making kissy faces, and I snatch it out of her hand and throw it at Kyla, who furrows her eyebrows and turns towards me when it hits her on the forehead.

"Hey," I say sharply, "We're trying to eat, here."

Kyla scoffs. "Right. Because I totally didn't have to endure you and Spencer tiptoeing around each other for three weeks' worth of lunches. You can deal."

She _does _have a point.

* * *

It's three-fifteen, school has just ended for today, and I can't believe what I'm seriously about to do.

I hate prom, not to mention any other school dances or functions, with a passion, and the _last _group, club, union, _or _committee I would ever consider joining is one involving prom. But here I am anyway, peeking into the cafeteria, where Spencer, Carmen, and many other students are scattered among several tables, chatting as they wait for the meeting to start.

Spencer and Carmen are sitting across from each other at a table by themselves, talking and interacting like they've been best friends since the beginning of time, and I can practically feel the little green monster inside of me lusting after Carmen's blood.

If joining prom committee is what I have to do to keep from losing Spencer to this girl, then so be it. Um…not that I have a reason to worry, right?

My eyebrows furrow as I watch Carmen say something, and Spencer reacts by throwing her head back and laughing, and then _my _girlfriend is gesturing animatedly to Carmen as she responds to whatever was _apparently _so funny.

When she's done talking, Spencer rests one of her hands on the table, and Carmen reaches across the table and covers Spencer's hand with hers, nodding her agreement with whatever Spencer's said before she retracts her hand a moment later. Bur the image of her hand on Spencer's is already burned into my brain. This bitch is going down.

I enter the cafeteria, plastering a smug look on my face, because the way they are seated is with Spencer's back almost directly to me, and Carmen pretty much facing me.

"Oh, yeah," I can hear Spencer saying as I grow closer, and neither of them has noticed me yet. "And I hate how they're always burping and making insensitive comments all the time."

"And leaving the toilet seat up," Carmen adds, and Spencer laughs again.

Geez, she's boy-bashing with this girl and _still _hasn't realized she's gay?

Almost as if to punctuate my thought, Spencer replies, "Definitely. I have no idea how you date them."

Carmen opens her mouth to reply, but then her eyes slide past Spencer and lock on mine, and I simply raise an eyebrow as I continue to approach the table, giving her a look that I know tells her _exactly _what I'm doing here. Her lips form a thin line, and her eyes remain glued to me even as Spencer turns around to see what she's looking at.

I wipe the smug expression off of my face in an instant, grinning as Spencer's face lights up and she asks, "Ash? What're you doing here?"

"Well," I begin, sitting down next to Spencer and completely ignoring Carmen, "I thought about what you said, and I decided that since this means so much to you, I'm joining prom committee, too. And I would love to go to prom with you."

Spencer's jaw drops, and then she lets out an excited squeal and wraps her arms around me, pulling me to her in a tight hug as he replies, "Oh, thank you so much, Ash. I promise we'll have fun. I can even take dancing lessons before we go, if you want, and-"

I cut her off with a laugh. "Relax, Spence. Your dancing's fine, and if you're really that worried, I can get Kyla to teach you."

Spencer just nods and squeezes me tighter, and I turn my head slightly and stick my tongue out at Carmen, who scowls at me in response. This is all going perfectly.

"Thank you," Spencer repeats again, her voice going softer, and I smile genuinely this time, glad that even though my motives might be just a tad bit off, at least I'm doing something that makes her happy. "I love you, Ash."

I pull away from her, letting her see my smile, and she smiles back because even though I _still _haven't said it, she knows I love her too.

Spencer leans in to kiss me, which I hadn't been counting on, but it's definitely not unwelcome, and I kiss her back eagerly right in front of what's-her-face, feeling Spencer still smiling against my lips.

I think she intended for it to be short and sweet, but I'm getting to the point where I'm starting to learn what makes Spencer's cheeks flush and what makes little shivers run down her spine, so I use that knowledge to my advantage, and a second later, we're full-on making out in plain sight, tongues and all. Spencer even moans a little when I nibble on her bottom lip, and then Carmen clears her throat and Spencer breaks our kiss, blushing darkly out of embarrassment.

It takes a second for me to recover, but when I do, I smirk at Carmen again, who just shoots me this venomous look in response. That only makes me happier, though, because it means I've gotten to her.

Some girl from our grade moves to stand in front of everyone in the cafeteria, addressing all of us with some speech about decorations for prom, but I'm already busy not listening. I don't care about prom decorations.

What I do care about is making Bangs over there as jealous as humanly possible, though, and with Spencer sitting next to me, still looking a little flushed as her breathing is evening out, it's almost impossible not to reach over and place my hand on her bare thigh. Now that it's early March and LA is starting to warm up, Spencer wore shorts today, which I am _very _thankful for.

Spencer shoots me a quizzical look, clearly trying to pay attention to what Ms. Prom Organizer is saying, and I just bite down on my bottom lip lightly, playing innocent even though I know it's pointless. Spencer knows I'm never innocent. We're near the back of the group, though, and it's not like many people can see where my hand is, anyway.

"Ash…" she whispers, and if that's supposed to get me to stop, it's not going to work.

My eyes are focused on that girl up front, who is currently babbling on about color coordination, but my mind is completely on what my hand's doing and the way Spencer's breathing is growing more and more erratic with each passing second that we sit here, but it's so quiet that only I'm close enough to hear it.

The plan was to just give Spencer a small reminder of how much she wants _me _and not the girl across from her, but I think either I underestimate how much Spencer loves me, or my own seductive abilities, because it catches me completely off-guard when she stands up in the middle of the meeting, effectively drawing all attention to her.

"Um…sorry, I just remembered I'm late for an appointment. Ash has to give me a ride."

She grabs my hand and pulls me to my feet, then practically drags me out of the meeting without so much as a _glance _at ol' Carmen over there.

Spencer hardly even looks at me either, though, not until we reach my car, and for a split second I'm thinking maybe she actually does have an appointment and I just didn't get the memo, but then she turns around and pulls me to her, joining our lips in one of those soft but firm kisses she's so good at. The ones that say "I love you, but I really want you right now".

My seductive skills are pretty amazing, but I think it'd definitely have to be that I underestimate how much she loves me.

I'm not sure how long we kiss for; I just know that I'm disappointed when it ends, but that's gone when Spencer wraps her arms around me and rests her chin on my shoulder, pulling us close enough that I can feel most of the front of her body against mine. After a few moments of silence, she sighs, then pulls away to look into my eyes. "God. You just…sometimes you make me feel like nothing else matters outside of me and you."

I tilt my head to the side, trying not to smile. "Maybe nothing else does."

She laughs a little at that, then averts her gaze to the ground with this small smile still on her face. "Yeah." She looks like she's thinking something over for a moment, then steps closer to me again, reaching behind me to slip her hand into one of the back pockets of my jeans. For a second I think she's trying to cop a feel, but then I remember that that's where I keep the key to my Porsche.

Spencer opens the _driver's _side door and gets in without saying anything, already sticking the key into the ignition before I'm even in the passenger's seat. I hurry over to the other side of the car and get in, looking over at her nervously. Spencer's never driven my car before, and I'm a little protective. Of the car. But also of Spencer, who would be _in _the car if we were to crash. Oh, and me. I matter too.

"Where are we going?" I ask her as she pulls out of the parking lot. Spencer's a surprisingly good driver, and I relax a little, trusting her.

"My house."


	27. The Talk

"Why?" I ask, thinking about how awkward it'll be to see Mr. Carlin again, and I'm also not in the mood to have Paula glaring at me for the whole afternoon. At least Glen should be at basketball and won't be there to maul me the second I walk through the door.

She doesn't answer, but her house isn't far from the school anyway, so we're only silent for about a minute before she pulls into her driveway and shuts off the car.

"Your parents aren't home?" I question, noticing my car is the only one in the driveway at the moment.

"Come on," is all she says, but it's with a small smile and a squeeze of my hand, so I inwardly shrug and get out of the car, letting Spencer stick my key back in my pocket and then pull me into her house and up to her room.

"Spencer," I press a little anxiously when I see her shut and lock her bedroom door. "What are we doing?" We? I should be asking what _she's _doing. Maybe my subconscious knows what's about to happen and is making me use _we_ because sex requires two people.

I'm already standing at the end of her bed, but Spencer pushes me back lightly so that I'm sitting on it, then gets down on her knees so that we're level, kissing me again, and I'm starting to catch her drift, especially when she tugs on my bottom lip with her teeth.

My lips refuse to form the word "no", and a minute later I'm lying on my back with Spencer on top of me, straddling my hips. Her hand is under my shirt, rubbing my abs. She's told me before that she really likes them, that she thinks they're sexy. I remember trying to figure out when she's seen my abs before.

We're not kissing anymore, just staring at each other intently, and Spencer whispers, "I hope you know that you're my everything." In this instant, I'm wondering how the hell I _ever _could have been jealous of Carmen.

"Spencer," I start a little breathlessly.

"Shhh," she replies gently, sitting up fully to tug her shirt up and over her head. I get zero warning, swallowing a lump in my throat as she tosses her shirt off to the side. The lump comes right back when she reaches around herself, though, and I hardly register a soft click before my hands are pressed against her shoulders, effectively hold her bra straps up so that she can't take it off.

"Spencer, we can't do this."

"I don't care," she replies, completely serious. "I want you."

There it is again. It takes me a second to compose myself enough to reply. "Please don't do this."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm afraid and I don't want to lose you," I blurt out, but Spencer seems unfazed.

"You're not going to lose me, Ash."

"No, you don't understand how I was. For me, sex is…God, Spencer, I want to so badly. Really. But I don't know…what it'll change. Sex has never been about love for me, ever, not even with Aiden, and I don't know what it's going to do to us, or to me, and I just need…some kind of guarantee first. I want to be completely sure that things won't be different or weird for me afterwards, and that's something you can't change, just like I couldn't change how you felt about your sexuality."

"…I want you to tell me, then," she replies, sitting up and rehooking her bra, then pulling her shirt back on over top of it. "Tell me what you used to be like, and then maybe I'll understand. And I don't mean just the sex stuff. Tell me everything."

"Do you remember what Madison told you on the first day you met me?" I ask quietly, not sure how else to start this conversation. I knew it was coming eventually, but spilling my guts to Spencer is not exactly at the top of my "fun things to look forward to doing" list.

Spencer stares at me for a moment, and I think she's trying to remember. Finally, she shakes her head. "No. I disregarded all of it a long time ago and I can't remember what it even was in the first place. Other than the part about you having a miscarriage. But this isn't about that, right?"

"No," I tell her, sighing. "It's about the other stuff. You said that she told you I do drugs and that I'm an alcoholic, and I told you none of it was true. Which…I guess I wasn't lying because at the time it really wasn't true…but it used to be. It was true last year. Last school year, anyway."

"Okay," Spencer replies softly, running her hand up and down my back. "So you did drugs and you drank a lot."

"That's not all," I continue. "And you weren't there. You don't know what it was like. I mean…I only even passed junior year because of Kyla. She did most of my work, and got me to class just frequently enough for me to stay out of trouble. This was all after my dad died, but before Kyla and I turned eighteen, so we still lived with my mom, but she was never around anyway. And before Kyla and I even started getting along was when I was the worst. It wasn't even just drugs and alcohol. I went to different clubs every night and slept with more girls than I can count or even remember, did drugs at least once a week, and drank pretty much every day. And then…" Do not cry. I will _not _cry in front of Spencer right now.

"…I was…before my dad died, I was a lot like how I was just before I met you. Yeah, I partied a lot, and I drank and slept with more people than I should have, but overall I was a decent person. Then I turned into the person that did all of that other stuff, and to top all of it off, I…well, I was really depressed, and I…I mean, I didn't have anybody, Spencer. My mom hated me, my dad was dead, I hated my sister, and Aiden was off with Madison. I had literally nobody to help me cope. Kyla caught me in my old bedroom with a razor about a month after dad's death, and after that was when she started trying to help me and keep my grades passing in school, and I stopped hating her. Then she got my mom to sign me up for therapy over the summer, and by the time we both started a new school year, turned eighteen, and moved out, I had toned it down enough to stop seeing a shrink. I still partied and slept around a lot, but Kyla went with me every time I decided to go to a club, because she knew that I couldn't go overboard if I had to take care of her, too. And then you met me a month later, in October, and now I'm the person I am today."

I can tell Spencer's trying to absorb all of this, and after nearly five minutes of unbearable silence, she finally opens her mouth. "Were you trying to kill yourself?"

I'm racing back through my story for a moment, trying to figure out which specific part she could be talking about. "With the razor?" I eventually ask.

"Yeah."

"No. That was just…something I did a lot back then."

"Oh." Her hand is in mine a moment later, and she's turning it palm-up so she can see my wrists. There aren't any scars. I'm lucky. "So…when you think sex, you think drunken partying and one-night stands with girls you've never met before."

"And things have changed so much since I met you, and now that I haven't done that in a while, I don't know how trying it with you will affect things."

Spencer's still looking down at our hands, but after a moment, she nods. "Okay. But you'll never know until you _do _try it out."

"I will," I promise. "Just not now." I let out a soft sigh, so ready to stop talking about this that I'll pretty much say anything to get Spencer distracted. "Spencer, can I tell you something?" I ask.

"Of course," she replies, staring at me expectantly.

"Alright. Well…um, Carmen's gay."

"…What?"

"She…kind of has a thing for you."

Spencer laughs. "Ash, that's ridiculous."

"Trust me; she's gay."

"How do you know?"

"She's been looking at you. And the way she does…it's like how I used to look at girls at Ego. I just…" I look down at my lap. "I guess I just don't really like you hanging out with her."

"Are…are you jealous?" Spencer asks, but she's not teasing. It's just a question.

"Yes," I reply, nodding without looking up, and Spencer places her hand under my chin and _makes _me look up.

"Then I'll let her know that I'm not into her and that I'm in love with you."

I can't help but smile at that. "Really?"

"Really. Just as long as you don't do things like join prom committee and promise me you'll go to prom with me for all the wrong reasons."

I let out a nervous laugh, flushing a little. "Yeah. Sorry about that. I'll still go to prom with you."

"You don't have to if you don't want to."

"I do," I tell her, imagining Spencer and I all dressed up in fancy dresses, slow-dancing together. It doesn't seem like such a bad idea all of a sudden. "I want to go."

She smiles, then draws me into a hug, and I'm just about to hug her back when I look past her and notice a few opened envelopes on top of her dresser, just a few feet in front of me. "Hey, are those letters from colleges?" I ask, pulling away from her immediately and hopping off of the bed. "You didn't tell me you'd gotten any."

Spencer gets up quickly, like she means to grab the letters before I can read them, but decides against it a moment later, simply watching me look down at all the envelopes. "I meant to tell you…but yeah. I've gotten a letter back from every college I applied to."

"I bet you got a whole lot of acceptance letters," I tell her, and the fake smile plastered to Spencer's face falters a little. "What's wrong? There's no way they all rejected you, right?"

Spencer is suddenly fascinated with her feet. "Um…they all accepted me, actually. Every single one."

"That's fantastic," I reply, genuinely happy for her. "Now you have all these great places to choose from, so I bet it'll take forever for you to decide on which one to go to. I can't say I'm surprised though, as smart as you are. They'd all be lucky to have you," I finish, walking over to her and grinning as I wait for her to look up at me again.

"Ash, stop," she mumbles, and when she does raise her head, there are tears in her eyes. I'm taken aback, until I realize she's probably really stressed out about all the choices, and me mentioning it probably only reminded her. My smile's gone in a second, and I cup her face in my hands, kissing her forehead.

"Don't worry, Spence. I'm sure you'll figure out where you want to go."

She shakes her head, avoiding my eyes. "That's not it."

I pull away from her slightly, furrowing my eyebrows. "Then what's wrong?"

"I don't want to tell you."

"Why not?" I glance over my shoulder at all of the opened envelopes, and when she doesn't answer me, I sit down on her bed, gluing my eyes to my lap as another possibility for her behavior hits me. "You already know where you're going, don't you." My voice comes out flat. If Spencer's worried, then she's clearly chosen a college I'm not going to approve of.

Spencer sits down next to me, resting her hand over mine. "I've always…I really like film-related stuff, like making documentaries and things like that. This school has a really good filmmaking program. And it's not that far away. Just four hours."

When I finally look up at her, it's while I'm letting out a long sigh. "And you're set on this one?"

"It's my first choice…by, well, a lot. I really want to go there."

"When were you going to tell me this?" I ask her, crossing my arms, and right now I can feel myself getting angrier even as my heart's sinking further and further down.

"I didn't want you to be upset."

"Well I'm just ecstatic now, aren't I?" I snap, and Spencer turns away from me, frowning.

"You can't be mad at me for the college I want to go to," she mutters.

"I just can't believe you didn't tell me."

"I only got the acceptance letter a little over a week ago."

"Then that's when you should've said something," I retort, and we're both quiet for a while, just trying to figure out what this means. "Alright," I finally say, shrugging. "I could always just get my own place, you know. Maybe if…if I move close enough, you could even…I mean, you wouldn't have to live in a dorm and with the money I have I could afford somewhere really nice…"

"Ash," Spencer cuts in, already shaking her head. "You live with Kyla, and she's probably going to want to stay here since Aiden wants to go to college close by. You should stay here with her. She's your sister."

I don't really know what to say to that, and after opening and closing my mouth multiple times, I blurt out, "So that's it, then? For the next four years, you want to live four hours away from me? I'm supposed to be okay with that?"

"That's not…" Spencer stammers out, trying to find a response that makes sense to me. I doubt she has one. "I haven't really thought it out, okay? I just don't want you to completely uproot your life for me."

I roll my eyes at that. "Spencer, before you, my _life _was skipping school, drinking, clubbing, and sex with strangers…and now I'm actually showing up to most of my classes, driving you around everywhere, and actually participating in a monogamous relationship. Hell, I don't even drink anymore. So I think I can take one more uprooting."

Spencer just shakes her head again. "My brother and I didn't get along when we were younger. Then Clay came along and we all ended up inseparable. And now Glen won't even look at me anymore, now that he's found out about us, and…I've kind of realized that I took it for granted, getting along with him so well. And I just think that since you and your mom don't talk anymore and Kyla's your only real family, you should at least stay with her while you still have a chance, because you never know when you might not want to talk to each other anymore."

"And what about me and you? Shouldn't we stay together while we still have the chance?"

Spencer gives me this bitter smile that does nothing to make me feel better. "Well…that's kind of what we're doing right now, isn't it?"

At that, I frown, looking down at the ground. "I guess so, huh?" She doesn't say anything, and I finally manage to force a smile. "Well…if you're going to college four hours away next year…we better make the rest of this year as amazing as possible."


	28. Blast from the Past

I'm shoving several books into my locker early in the morning when a slim pair of arms slide around me from behind and rest on my stomach, and I lean back instinctively, smiling when the scent of Spencer's usual strawberry shampoo reaches my nose. "Have I ever told you how much I love the smell of strawberries?" I ask, and Spencer just nips at my ear playfully, making the grin on my face widen. "Hey!" I half-shout suddenly, turning around in her arms. "Vanilla! Like _my_ shampoo?"

"And only a month too late, Ashley Davies," Spencer replies, pinching my side just enough for it to hurt.

"Ow," I say reflexively. "What was that for?"

"You're not wearing green," she tells me simply, pecking me on the lips and then stepping back, pointing at the small, green, four-leaf clover hairclip she's decided to wear today.

"Ooh, let me see," I reply excitedly, slipping it out of her hair gently, then immediately reaching forward to pinch her side.

"Ow!" Spencer exclaims, and I cackle evilly, slamming my locker shut and slipping the hairclip into my own hair even as I hurry off to my next class before Spencer can catch me.

* * *

"I hate you," Spencer deadpans as she slides into the spot next to me at our usual lunch table, nursing her sides with a huff.

"Never remove your green clothing on St. Patrick's Day, Spencer," I advise her. "Not even for me."

"I'll get you back next year," she promises, and I grin widely, then snicker when I see Aiden on the other side of Spencer, sneaking up on her. "Touch me and I'll castrate you," she says without turning around, and Aiden freezes, uncertain of whether or not to continue.

"Haven't you already gotten her five times today, Aid?" comes Kyla's voice from behind Aiden, and he straightens up, looking a little sheepish as he turns to face her. Of course, Aiden would be the one to pinch Spencer so much all day today. He's one of the most immature guys I know.

As Kyla and Aiden take their seats across from us, I address Spencer again. "So how have things been going with Glen?" It's been about two weeks since Spencer came out, and surprisingly, things are pretty much normal at school now, besides the occasional teasing. Mostly, it's just Glen we're worried about, even though Spencer is sure he won't tell Paula.

"Okay, I guess. He still treats me like crap."

"Has he said anything to you about me?"

"Just the usual stuff about how I'm going to burn in Hell with you. Why?"

"Well…" I begin carefully, not sure how to approach telling her this. "I never told you, but he and I had a talk about two weeks ago. Apparently, he's vowed to get you to break up with me."

Spencer rolls her eyes. "Don't worry about that. Nothing he says will work."

"It better not," I warn her lightly, even though I have been a bit worried recently. Between Glen and Carmen, I still don't see how Spencer could possibly want to be with me, despite the fact that she kept her promise and told Carmen she wasn't interested in anything more than friendship. The weird thing is that the few times I _have _seen Carmen, she's been super nice to me lately.

Whatever. I still hate her.

* * *

"Do you ever miss it?" Spencer asks me offhandedly on Friday afternoon, while we're sitting on my bed, flipping through the photo album she got me for Christmas three months ago.

"Miss what?" I ask her, smiling as I run my thumb over one of the pictures we've added since then. It's of Spencer and I kissing, and it's my favorite.

"You know. Clubbing. Partying every night, or every weekend."

I shrug, realizing I hadn't really considered it in a while. "Not really. Sometimes, I guess. Why?"

"Well…I was just thinking. We went to Ego together that one night, and I'd kind of like to try it again with you. But this time, we can dance together because we both want to, and I won't get drunk and puke on the floor. I think it'd be fun."

A night at Ego? I haven't done that in a while. "If you want to," I finally agree. "When do you want to go?"

Spencer chews on her bottom lip for a moment, then smiles shyly. "I was thinking maybe tonight. I'm sure my dad will let me stay over."

"Even though he knows we're dating?"

"He trusts you for some reason," Spencer replies with a smirk, and I glare at her, hiding a smile. "And you know you've got to stop avoiding him eventually. You haven't even been to my house since I told him, not even to pick me up for school."

"I think Glen seems to have that covered," I point out.

"You drop me off a block away every time you take me home, Ash," Spencer deadpans, and I look away from her innocently, closing the photo album after another brief glance at my favorite picture.

"Maybe I think you need the exercise."

"You better be kidding."

"You know I am," I tell her, crinkling my nose, then shifting towards her as I set the album off to the side. "Okay, so tell me what brought up this sudden clubbing idea?"

Spencer averts her gaze, and I immediately know I'm onto something.

"What? Tell me."

"I _may _have a date Saturday night."

"Where are we going?" I ask excitedly. Spencer and I almost never go out on official dates unless it's for some special occasion.

"Er…I didn't mean us. Just me."

Excuse me? "Well…who the hell are you going to go on a date with?"

"My mom's been noticing," Spencer tells me quietly, keeping her eyes locked on the bed beneath her. "Over the past few months. She says I talk about you a lot and that she never sees me with any guys. That you're a bad influence. And I don't think Glen's given anything away directly, but he pretty much encouraged her to set me up on a date. Dad couldn't convince her to change her mind, either. I don't have a choice; I have to go."

"Who?" I repeat curtly.

"Um…remember Patrick?"

Patrick. That sounds familiar. "The guy from church? From, like, _months _ago?"

"Yeah."

I can feel my eyes narrowing. "The guy you wanted to kinda sorta fake date but in a real way?"

"Yes, but not anymore," Spencer replies quickly. "I don't want to go. Really. But if I don't then my mom will get even more suspicious, or Glen might tell her about us."

"Maybe you should just tell her," I suggest. Wow,_ this_ sounds familiar, too.

"When I graduate," Spencer tells me firmly. "I want to be out of there when I tell her."

"Okay." Well, practically everyone else knows, so I guess it would be a little too selfish of me to insist Spencer tells her mom, too. "I'm surprised this kid doesn't even know you're gay."

"He lives across LA and goes to a private school. And our church is kind of far away, too, along with the hospital mom works at. That's why nobody's gotten a chance to spread it to her. She doesn't talk to anyone from our school except for teachers, and there's no way they'd be nosy enough to say anything to her."

"If she finds out somehow from someone else, she's going to be a lot angrier," I point out, and Spencer nods her agreement.

"Yeah. But hopefully if that happens, I won't be around for the big blowup and I can camp out somewhere for a few nights until she calms down."

"Or you could stay here with me," I tell her, rolling my eyes at a mental image of Spencer sleeping in a tent somewhere while I have a perfectly good king-size bed waiting for her.

"That too. Anyway, I have to go to dinner and a movie with him tomorrow night, but I promise that when I get back, I'll call you and tell you about how much it sucked."

"I don't know," I reply, my smile faltering a little. "Maybe you'll have fun."

"Maybe…but not the kind of fun you're talking about." She sighs, and I shrug in a half-hearted agreement. "So can we go to Ego? That way I have something to think about tomorrow while I'm pretending to be interested in Patrick?"

I can't help laughing at that. "You want something to think about that'll distract you from Patrick?"

"Yeah, that's the idea." She raises an eyebrow when I lean just a little closer to her. "Something _active_, Ashley."

"Kissing's active."

"You know what I mean. Like a better, more fun date than the one I'm gonna have with him."

"Hmm." I sneak in a quick kiss anyway, then hop off of my bed and drag Spencer over to my closet. "Okay. But if we're going to Ego, we have to change clothes. I'll find you something sexy to wear."

Spencer forces a laugh. "Yeah, sure. I'm not sexy."

"And I'm not convinced," I reply without looking at her, already rummaging through my large supply of potential clubbing outfits. "You're the most beautiful person I know, Spence."

"But I'm not _sexy_."

"I think you're sexy."

"You have to say that. You're my girlfriend. And I thought I was cute."

"You're both."

"That's not even possible."

"Sure it is." I hesitate for a moment when I spot something that I know will look amazing on Spencer, because a part of me doesn't want her going out in public where other people can see her with the outfit on. "Alright…I'll let you choose. Do you want to wear a short skirt?"

"How short?"

"Um…well, _I _wear it when I go to Ego."

"Really short?"

"Ha ha," I throw over my shoulder. "And yes. So do you want to wear it or not?"

"What do you think?"

"_I _think it'll make you look incredibly hot, but feel free not to wear it. I want you all to myself if we're really going to do this."

Spencer takes the outfit from me wordlessly, and I force a smile, grabbing something for myself and heading for my bathroom to change. "Alright, fine. We'll just make everyone jealous of us," I suggest, and Spencer rolls her eyes at me again just before I close the door behind me.

* * *

"Kyla, Spencer and I are going out," I tell her when I spot her on the couch watching reruns of some black and white show I don't recognize.

"Where?" she replies, turning to look at me, and raising an eyebrow when she does. Kyla knows my outfits better than anyone else, other than me of course. "Ego?"

"Yup. And I convinced her to let me do her makeup, and she borrowed my clothes. She's convinced she's not sexy."

"Uh, right here," Spencer cuts in, peeking into the living room from around a corner.

Kyla sighs. "Alright, Spencer. Let me see what Ashley's turned you into."

"You make it sound like she's a monster," I complain, pouting as Spencer reluctantly enters the room. I meet her halfway and grab her hand, pulling her over to the couch so Kyla can get a better look at her. "Tell me we aren't hot together." I lean over and kiss Spencer on the cheek, feeling her smile just before I pull away.

"At the risk of sounding gay, yes, you two _do _look sexy. Now can you both leave me alone so I can watch TV?"

I clear my throat and cross my arms, scowling at her. "Right. Because I'm obviously the loser sister, considering I'm going clubbing with my incredibly _sexy _girlfriend, while you sit here alone and watch TV shows in black and white."

Kyla doesn't reply for a moment, but I can kind of sense that she's taking my comment to heart because the mood of the room is suddenly subdued. "Yeah, well…you don't need me to go with you, I guess. You have Spencer now."

"I'm gonna go wait in the car," Spencer immediately whispers into my ear, and I almost tell her not to go, but then I realize it's probably best if she does. I sit down next to Kyla.

"Hey…you can go with us if you want."

"It's fine," Kyla replies flatly.

"It doesn't sound fine." When she doesn't say anything, I sigh, nudging her gently. "I'm sorry we don't spend as much time together as we used to, you know. But Spencer's a big part of my life now."

"_I _used to be a big part of your life."

"You still are," I insist. "You've done so much for me, and the least I can do to make it up to you is to make sure we always stick together. If you ever need me, I'm right here. Promise."

Ah, shit. Spencer was right. As much as I want to move with Spencer when she goes off to college, I really can't leave Kyla.

* * *

"Is she okay?" Spencer asks me when I get into the car, and I try not to look upset as I nod, not wanting the fact that I'm really going to have to live four hours away from Spencer ruin my night. So far, I'm pretty unsuccessful, because I really can't see myself having fun tonight.

"Better than me, anyway," I add quietly.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't want to have to only see you on weekends," I tell her. "But you were right; I can't leave Kyla. Can't you just go somewhere closer?"

"You know I can't do that. This school is perfect for me." She reaches for my hand, but I turn away from her and pull it out of her reach. She sighs. "Please don't let this ruin our night, Ash."

"Whatever," I mumble, starting the car and pulling out of the driveway with a huff.

* * *

Okay, so Spencer and I agreed not to drink anything, but I'm mad at her right now and all bets are off, so the first thing I do is order two shots and drink them both without taking a breath in between. New Year's Eve was the last time I drank alcohol, and it's taken me until now to realize I do kind of miss it a little bit. Spencer's about to see another side of me tonight.

"Ash, we said no drinking," Spencer tells me hastily, having only caught up to me once I'd already taken the shots. "Stop it."

"Leave me alone," I snap at her, turning to order another shot, and Spencer crosses her arms. I can see her glaring at me out of the corner of my eye.

"I thought you weren't going to be like this."

"Like what? Angry that I'm only going to see you once a week for the next four years? And that's only if we stay together that long."

Spencer snatches the next shot out of my hand and downs it herself, and I can't figure out whether she just really wanted it, or she just didn't want me to have it. "You're not doing this," she practically orders, and my eyebrows furrow. "Come on."

For a second I think she's going to take me back to the car so we can go home, but she ends up tugging me onto the crowded dance floor instead, then pulls me tightly against her, which completely catches me off-guard. Then I realize what Spencer wanted tonight to be about: forgetting about our problems. Carmen, Glen…Paula, and the date she set up for Spencer…Spencer going to college, Kyla worrying that I don't need her anymore. Right now, it's just Spencer and me, a little bit buzzed and dancing a lot closer than we ever have before.

Spencer's arms hook around my neck and pull me towards her, joining our lips, and my first instinct is to grab her hips and pull her closer, too. She moans into my mouth as my leg slips between hers, and I bite down on her lip lightly, giving her the best seductive look I can manage while I still have her bottom lip between my teeth. Spencer looks pretty entranced, and I can hear her breath hitch when I grind my thigh upwards, kissing her again once I've let go of her lip. My hands slide around her to cup her ass, which I know is pretty bold of me, although Spencer doesn't seem to mind. When I squeeze and then pull upwards slightly, though, she breaks our kiss and stammers out something about being thirsty, then tugs me back in the direction of the bar. I smirk, knowing she just needed a break from dancing with me.

"I thought we weren't going to drink," I murmur into her ear, making sure my lips brush against it as I speak, and Spencer shudders a little before she replies. I realize that until now, she's never had the full brunt of how sexy I can be when I want to. Well, tonight seems like a good time to show her, especially since this is the kind of atmosphere where I'm used to flirting and seducing.

"We're not. I'm just getting us two waters," she promises, and I tug on her hand to get her to stop and turn around, then lean forward, letting our noses brush as our eyes lock and Spencer gets that same mesmerized look in her eyes that she had before on the dance floor.

"I'll find us a place to sit," I whisper, leaning even closer to barely brush my lips against hers. "Hurry back."

Spencer gulps as she pulls away, but her eyes have darkened a shade, and she nods swiftly before heading in the direction of the bar. I smirk again when I notice a few guys watching me from a few feet away with their mouths hanging open in surprise, then roll my eyes at them before I turn to go find somewhere for Spencer and me to sit.

I never realized how much I _really _missed this. Spencer and I should come here more often.

"Ashley?" calls a vaguely familiar voice from somewhere behind me, and I furrow my eyebrows, trying to figure out where I've heard it before. Wait a second…"Ashley Davies?"

Fuck.

* * *

**A/N: (I couldn't resist doing this.)**

**Who could it be? Carmen, secretly stalking Spencer and Ashley and waiting for a chance to eliminate her competition? Kelly, back for revenge after being rejected by Ashley so many months ago? Paula, out for a night of drunken clubbing with her equally lesbian-hating friends from church? Or is it someone even more menacing…?**

**Find out next chapter!**


	29. Meet the Parents, Again

God, what the fuck is her name again? Amy…Andrea…Allison…

"Hey, it's me! Amanda? Remember?"

Oh, that's right.

I've known Amanda since just after my dad died, but I haven't seen her since about last May. She was one of my more regular hookups, but I started avoiding her when she wanted a relationship. I stopped going to the club I usually ran into her at, and haven't seen her since. Apparently, she's chosen to spend tonight at Ego.

Great.

I nod slowly, and her eyes run up and down my body, making me feel a little violated, actually. Spencer's the only person allowed to do that in the first place, but Amanda's doing it in plain sight, right in front of me.

"Wow, you look…amazing. What happened to you? I haven't seen you in so long!"

I bite my lip and scratch the back of my neck awkwardly. "Um…yeah. My sister made me cut down on the partying…" Well, this was sort of true, at least. "…and I didn't have your number, so…"

"Oh." She reaches forward and grabs my hand, then smirks at me, seemingly not even interested in my excuses for basically ditching her all those months ago. "Well, why don't you come with me to the bathroom, for old times' sake?"

"Well, _actually_," I hurry to say, but she cuts me off, wrongly guessing the reason why I want to turn her down.

"Don't worry, Ash. I know you freaked out because I wanted a relationship. Trust me, this is just a one-night thing." Her hand slides down my side until it reaches my hip, and I glance down at it, then raise my eyes to her face again.

"I'm not into that anymore," I tell her, pushing her arm away and stepping back. Amanda looks surprised.

"Don't tell me you're _straight _now, Ashley." Once again, she's misinterpreted what I'm trying to say.

I look past her briefly and see Spencer heading towards me with two waters in her hands, then quickly address Amanda again. "You need to go." Spencer hearing about my past is one thing, but seeing first-hand the kind of people I associated with back then is a whole other deal.

Amanda looks a little pissed off now, and I know I've said the wrong thing. "Why?"

When Spencer gets close enough, she realizes I'm talking to this girl, and she looks a bit confused as she finally stops beside me, placing her drinks on the table behind us. Her eyes meet mine, and I know she wants to know what's going on. "Just give us a minute," I whisper hastily, while Amanda looks between Spencer and me curiously. "I don't want you to hear this."

"Who's this?" Amanda asks, smirking again, and I groan inwardly as Spencer ignores my orders and tells Amanda her name. Amanda looks between us again, _still _smirking. I clench my fists, but she doesn't notice. Spencer is from my present, and Amanda is from my past. The two aren't supposed to mix. _Ever_. "_Oh_. Looks like you're still as suave as ever, Ash. I should've known you'd already have someone else for tonight." Please stop.

"Um, we're dating," Spencer cuts in sharply, seeming to realize exactly what's going on here. But I still wish she'd stay out of it.

"Is that what she told you?" Amanda asks, amused. "Because Ashley doesn't _date_. Why do you think I haven't seen her in almost a year?"

"We should go," I manage to say, grabbing Spencer's hand, but both girls ignore me.

"Well, if you haven't seen her in a year, then you obviously have no room to judge. You don't know her anymore," Spencer snaps.

"I don't _know _her?" Amanda repeats with a laugh. "Honey, I know her a lot better than you do. I've gotten to _know_ her plenty more times than you have; I can guarantee that."

"Spencer, we're leaving," I hiss sharply, tugging a little harder, but this is one of those times where Spencer's really strong when she wants to be.

"Shut the hell up," Spencer snarls, and for a moment, I think she's talking to me, but her eyes are still locked on Amanda. "Don't talk about her like that."

"Wow, Ash, you've got this one wrapped around your finger, don't you? Either that, or she's really drunk. I know you used to make sure they drank a lot before you-"

Spencer pulls away from me and pushes Amanda backwards before she can finish, clenching her fists as the older girl stumbles backwards and then tries to recover. When she does, she glares at Spencer, then starts forward, clenching her fists. "You little bitch," she spits out, pushing Spencer back, and I immediately get in between them, trying to pull them apart as they yank at each other's hair and clothes around me.

Two bouncers are upon us in a matter of seconds, and one grabs Spencer while the other grabs Amanda, forcing them apart while they both continue to stare at each other mutinously, breathing heavily.

"That's enough," the bouncer holding Spencer says. "You three ladies are going to have to leave."

* * *

Spencer and I are both silent for the majority of the car ride home, and it's one of those rare awkward moments where we don't know what to say to each other.

"Spencer," I finally sigh out, glancing at her. Her eyes are glued to her lap. "You shouldn't have done that."

"She deserved it," Spencer mutters, her hands unconsciously forming fists again at her sides.

"I know. But…you should've left when I asked you to. I didn't want you to hear any of that."

"It's fine," she mumbles, closing her eyes. "It didn't bother me."

"Spencer, you practically attacked her."

"I was just standing up for you."

"…It's okay to say it bothered you. It bothered me too. But that's what I was like back then. I told you that. Everything she said was true."

"But you're not like that anymore."

"I'm not," I agree. "But that doesn't mean I want you to stand up for me like you did back there. Let her think what she wants. I don't care. What I do care about is what _you _think of me."

We pull into my driveway and I turn off the car, looking over at her questioningly and waiting for a response.

"I said I didn't care about how bad you were in your past. I love who you are now," she reminds me. "No matter what you did back then."

"Then why won't you look at me?" I ask her quietly, trying not to sound too hurt, but it's true. Her eyes haven't moved from her lap.

"Because you seemed so comfortable there tonight, and…I suggested that we go because every time you drive me somewhere and we pass by Ego, you always give it this look. Like you miss it. So I figured we'd give it a try and…I guess I'm just scared. I got a glimpse of your old life and it was more overwhelming than I expected. I thought I could handle it."

"We don't have to go anymore. You don't have to do it just because you think it'll make me happy," I assure her, tilting her chin up with a finger so that her eyes meet mine. "I do miss it sometimes. But then I look at my life right now, with you, and this is so much better."

Spencer smiles at me shyly, and I lean forward to give her a gentle kiss, then smile back when I pull away.

"I still have your Valentine's Day CD," Spencer tells me all of a sudden. "It's in my purse."

My smile widens into a grin, and I squeeze her hand excitedly, already turning to open the car door. "C'mon, then. Let's go upstairs and listen to it in my room."

* * *

"No, Ash," Spencer says sharply when I slow to a stop at our usual drop-off point a block away from her house. "We're not doing that this morning."

"Come on," I reply, ignoring her and leaning in for a kiss. "Kiss me goodbye like a good girlfriend."

"No," Spencer retorts stubbornly, crossing her arms and turning her head. "I'm not getting out until we're in my driveway."

I sigh. "Spencer, we've been over this."

"It's cold out!"

"It's late March, and we're in LA," I tell her, rolling my eyes. "You'll be fine."

"I don't want to walk a whole block." Spencer looks over at me again. "Ash, you're taking me home, and then you're coming inside and greeting my dad, and then you're going to eat breakfast with us. Alright?"

"No way. I'm not going near your dad, not to mention Glen and Paula."

"I'm going on a date with a boy tonight, and I want some Ashley time beforehand."

"Well, you can have some right now," I point out, trying to kiss her again, but she holds me at bay with both hands.

"No. You don't get to kiss me unless you drive me home and come inside with me."

"Not even on the cheek?"

"No."

"What about a hug?"

Spencer shakes her head. "You don't get hugs, either. Dad and I already talked about this last night, when I told him I was going over to your house. He's setting out an extra plate this morning."

"That's not fair."

"Neither is the fact that my girlfriend _and _best friend hasn't seen my parents in over a month. So this is your ultimatum: no Spencer until you come inside."

I glare at her for a moment, then mumble a curse under my breath and shift my car into drive again. Spencer grins at me triumphantly, crossing her legs and leaning back in her seat with a relaxed sigh. "Don't even comment," I warn her, and she just closes her eyes and smiles.

"I wasn't going to."

* * *

"Heyyyyy…Mr. Carlin," I force out anxiously in my best 'I'm seriously not fucking your daughter, I promise' tone, adding in an innocent smile.

"Hello, Ashley," Spencer's dad replies, opening the front door and letting Spencer and I inside. "It's nice to see you. And remember, I told you to call me Arthur."

"Uh…sure," I say, a little taken aback, and Spencer smiles and mouths 'I told you so' as she's hanging her jacket up in a nearby closet. "So…Spencer says you want me to stay for breakfast."

"That's right," Arthur agrees, nodding, and I look around for Glen and Paula, wondering if they're within hearing or sight range of the three of us. "But first, I thought maybe you and I could have a talk." Just as I'm shooting Spencer a desperate look, he adds, "Alone."

"Okay," Spencer replies, walking over to us with this look on her face that tells me she knew this was coming, and just when I'm about to glare at her, she reaches me and leans forward, pressing her lips against mine. Right in front of her dad. I'm gaping at her when she pulls away and whispers, "I'll see you in a minute."

As soon as she's gone, I turn towards her dad and stammer out, "I'm _so _sorry, I didn't know she was going to-"

"Ashley," Arthur cuts in, putting a hand on my shoulder and steering me into the living room, where we sit down across from each other. "Spencer and I have talked a lot about you. I know a lot more than you probably think I do." Well, what the hell am I supposed to say to that? "And if you're what makes her happy, then I'm happy, too. The problem is what's going to happen if you _don't _make her happy…"

Oh, geez. I'm getting the "don't break my daughter's heart or else" talk from Spencer's dad. And it's a lot scarier than I thought it would be, especially since I've never had this talk from anyone else's dad before.

"Mr. Carlin-"

"Arthur."

"Arthur. Um…Spencer and I…I mean, I don't plan on…on breaking up with her anytime soon." That's about as mushy as I'm willing to go in front of him, but I think he gets what I'm trying to say, because he pats me on the shoulder and nods, standing up. I take that as my cue to stand up, too.

"Good. But one more thing…"

I wince, having almost left the room, then turn back towards him slowly.

"Don't worry about Glen and Paula. They'll come around," Arthur assures me, and I go from wincing to smiling, actually content with the way things are going. "And don't worry yourself over tonight, either. I'm sure Spencer told you that she has a date, but it's-"

"Spencer has a date?" I ask sharply, my eyes narrowing, and Arthur's expression changes immediately to one of surprise and guilt. I drop the façade and grin at him. "No, I'm totally kidding, Mr. C. She told me."

He stands there awkwardly for a moment, not sure how to reply, and I just let out a short laugh and head for kitchen, where I saw Spencer go last.

Paula's chopping strawberries into fourths when I enter and placing them in a small bowl next to her, and she does a double-take when she spots me, the distraction allowing Spencer to grab a couple of strawberries out of the bowl from Paula's other side. Spencer winks at me as she pops one of the pieces into her mouth, but I force my gaze to Paula, watching her set the knife down. Good girl, Paula.

"What are you doing here?"

"Spencer's dad invited me over for breakfast," I tell her easily, leaning against the door frame until Arthur himself comes up behind me and I have to move to let him into the kitchen.

"Arthur, I don't remember discussing this."

"Well, we haven't seen Ashley in a while, and I figured we should spend more time getting to know our daughter's best friend."

Holy shit, for a second I thought he was going to say girlfriend. Judging by the expression on Spencer's face, she thought so, too.

Arthur goes to help Paula cut the strawberries, and they start arguing with each other under their breath. Spencer makes her way over to me, and together, we watch her parents with raised eyebrows. I turn to look at Spencer as she tries to inch her way out of the room.

"Hey," Paula says sharply, her eyes immediately focusing on Spencer, who mutters a curse just quietly enough for me to hear. I try not to smile. "Spencer, set the table."

Glen walks in before Spencer can reply, yawning loudly and rubbing his eyes without looking at me. Honestly, I think he's just too half-asleep to notice that I'm here. "Glen can do it," Spencer retorts quickly, passing me on her way out of the kitchen. I stand in the doorway for a moment, not sure what to do until Spencer tugs on my hand sharply from behind me, pulling me out of the doorway and around the corner, and spinning me around simultaneously. I end up right in her arms with her lips against mine, feeling myself immediately relax into Spencer's grip and kiss back. Then I remember that her family is right around the corner, and break the kiss to point this out to her. "Let's go up to my room," she suggests, already leading me there. "Breakfast probably won't be ready for at least twenty more minutes."

"Spencer Carlin," I chastise, and she rolls her eyes at me when she hears my tone of voice, but makes no move to stop pulling me upstairs. "Taking girls up to your room with your family just downstairs? I believe I've rubbed off on you."

"Well, look who's letting herself be dragged upstairs? Maybe _I'm_ the one rubbing off on _you_."

"You used to let people drag you up the stairs?"

"Very funny. If it's so degrading, why are you letting me pull you up here?"

"Um…because we're gonna make out once we get into your room?"

Spencer stops pulling me once we reach the outside of her room, and I examine the closed door, wondering why she isn't opening it. "_Actually_…I wanted to show you something. _That's_ why I brought you up here." She opens the door now, and I grin when I see that the walls have been painted blue. "Dad and I did it last weekend. He only just moved all of my stuff back in here yesterday, actually."

"No more pink," I point out gratefully, stepping inside to get a better look around.

"Yup. I'm pretty sure the walls could use one more thing, though…"

"I said I'd buy you a new one eventually," I whine, turning around to look at her, and Spencer raises an eyebrow at me.

"At this rate, you better just plan on making it my birthday present."

"Nope."

"Come here," Spencer replies, rolling her eyes and pulling me forward, and I step forward, wrapping my arms around Spencer and lifting her up a couple of inches off the ground. It surprises her, and she lets out this cute little squeal as I let her down over the bed, crawling above her on my hands and knees and grinning at her when my face is above hers. Her hair is fanned out all over her pillow, and I would tell her she's beautiful, but I know I'd probably be embarrassed with myself if I did.

"Hey," I say suddenly, noticing a small golden chain around Spencer's neck. It continues down under her shirt, but of course I can't see that part of it. "Is that the necklace I got you?"

Spencer glances down, following my gaze, then looks back up at me and raises an eyebrow again. "Yeah. I wear it every day." She grins cheekily. "'Cause you're always in my heart."

"Or on your heart, technically," I point out, pulling the necklace out from under her shirt to examine my name engraved on the heart. "I thought you'd get your name."

"What would be the point of that?" Spencer rationalizes.

"Well…what if something happens and we break up? Then it's useless, so what would you do with it?" I reply.

"That hasn't been an issue, so I haven't really thought about it." She shrugs, then smiles again. "Guess you just can't break up with me if you want this to be put to good use every day." Her eyes light up all of sudden. "Hey! I know what I want for my birthday from you. You should write me a song. Kyla says you're really good."

I pull the best "that's ridiculous" face I can manage, telling her, "I wouldn't be able to write anything decent about you." Spencer looks appalled, and I backpedal, rewording my sentence. "I _mean _that nothing I write would do you justice, _not_ that you have no redeeming qualities." I know this from personal experience. I would never tell anyone this, but I have a whole notebook (dubbed "The Spencer Notebook") of songs I've written inspired by Spencer. I'm pretty sure all of them suck.

"I bet you could," she replies, smiling up at me and reaching up to rest her palm against my cheek. "I bet if you really wanted, you could end up being a famous singer/songwriter."

"Like my dad?" I ask, letting my mind wander for a second, recalling memories of my dad onstage and picturing_ myself _in his place. I shake my head quickly, then grin down at Spencer. "You haven't even heard me sing yet, Spence."

"You sang in the shower this morning," she offers. "I could hear you from your bedroom."

I wrinkle my nose in disgust. "Belting out 'I Will Survive' does _not _count as singing."

She opens her mouth to reply, but before she can, I hear her bedroom door open behind us. Spencer tenses beneath me and strains to see who it is, but I turn around calmly. There's really nobody that could be standing in the doorway right now that could scare me at this point. If it's Arthur, great. Glen, not as great, but I'll stand up to him if I have to. And if it's Paula…well, I'll do whatever it takes to make sure she doesn't lay on finger on Spencer.

"Get off my sister," Glen says dully, leaning against the doorframe, and I can tell he's trying not to look too disgusted with us. "Mom sent me up here to tell you two breakfast's ready."

"Thanks," Spencer replies as I roll off of her and she sits up, running a hand through her hair. "We'll be there in a second."

Once Glen has left, I look over at her curiously. "Do you think the idea of us dating is growing on him yet?"

Spencer scoffs. "Definitely not. He's probably just planning sabotage. I'm surprised he hasn't at least _hinted _anything to my mom yet, though. I think he just wants to find a way to break us up, make me straight, and hope it all blows over without mom finding anything out."

"A plan, huh?" I echo, and this makes me think of Carmen and how she's probably a conniving bitch, too. "So have you been having fun with Carmen at those prom committee meetings?"

Spencer gives me a weird look, obviously confused by the change of subject, but she answers me anyway. "Yeah. She's being cool about everything, though."

"She's been nicer to me," I point out, running my hand up and down her arm. Spencer shifts slightly, letting out a soft sigh as I lace our fingers together.

"Good. I told her if she didn't get along with you, I couldn't be friends with her."

That makes me smile. "Well, there's the explanation, then."

"She hasn't flirted with me or anything since. At least, not that I can tell."

"That's good," I reply absentmindedly, wondering if Glen and Carmen have something cooked up together. Then I realize that Glen wouldn't like Carmen with Spencer any more than he'd like me with her, and dismiss the idea. Looks like I'm dealing with two different people who have two different reasons to try and break Spencer and I up.

Wonderful.

* * *

**A/N: I've got some friends coming over tomorrow night so unfortunately I don't think I'll be able to update :(**


	30. Three Is A Crowd

"So, Ashley," Paula says through gritted teeth in the middle of breakfast, and I look up at her, not sure I'm going to like whatever she's about to say. Actually, I'm pretty sure that whatever it is, I'll hate it. "How would you like to spend the night tonight?"

Or…not?

I glance around the table quickly, wondering if someone else will offer up an explanation for what the hell is wrong with Paula, and Arthur gives me a quick wink that pretty much says it all. He talked her into this.

"Sure," I reply, hiding a smile as I lower my gaze to my food. I can see Spencer smiling out of the corner of one eye, and Glen frowning out of the corner of the other. "I'd love to."

"Well, that's good to know," Arthur cuts in, looking over at Glen. "Glen and I are going out of town today and tomorrow to have a little father-son camping trip, and Paula's going to need to some company while Spencer's on her date tonight."

I can't believe I was just trying to hide a smile a second ago.

Nothing like a little "homophobic mother"-"daughter's secret girlfriend" bonding, huh? If this is Arthur's idea of a joke, I'm not laughing.

"What do you mean?" Spencer asks, just as surprised as I am.

"I mean that you three can spend some girl time together this weekend while Glen and I go camping," Arthur replies calmly. "Have some fun. Get to know each other a little better."

Is that code for "tell Paula you two are dating"? Because that's not a good idea.

"Right…" Spencer says slowly. "But when I'm out with Patrick-"

"I'm sure Ashley and Paula can find something to do while you're gone, Spencer." He's seriously insinuating that Paula and I can find something in common. We both love Spencer, but that's about all I can think of at the moment. And I totally love her more, anyway.

* * *

Glen and Arthur leave at noon, and Spencer informs me that her date is at eight, so that's eight hours of trying to find something to do with Spencer and Paula, and then an unknown amount of hours to spend with _just _Paula. Plus I now have to go to church with the two of them on Sunday, which means wearing fancy clothes and lots of praying. Neither of which I do very often.

"So what do you want to do?" I ask Paula as she's cleaning up the breakfast table. I'm trying to be polite, but she won't even look at me. "We can watch a movie. Or…sew!" Anything that doesn't involve talking to each other.

"Let's play Spencer Trivia!" Spencer cuts in with a grin. "You and my mom can have a competition!"

Yeah, because that's exactly what we should do: pit me and Paula against each other.

We end up on the couch with Spencer standing in front of Paula and I, and I think Paula really only agreed to this because it gives her the chance to show me up. Sorry Paula, but you're going down.

"What hospital was I born in?"

What the hell? How am I supposed to know that?

Paula gives her the right answer immediately, and I cross my arms, glaring at Spencer. "That question was biased."

"Okay…I'll ask one that only you'll know, then." She pauses, thinking for a moment. "How many tattoos do I have?"

"What?!"

"None," I say proudly, and Paula stops freaking out and just stares at us for a moment. I could swear I even saw her smile for a second. Looks like she at least understands the concept of "joking".

The game ends in a tie because Spencer just goes back and forth with questions only one of us knows the answer to, and after that we play Scrabble.

Halfway through the game, I'm sitting here in last place, staring down at my letters intently while I rearrange them in my mind. My eyes flicker up to the triple word score space on the board, just waiting to be filled, then back to my letters. Six of them spell out "herpes". I glance back up. They fit.

God, it's so tempting.

But Paula's sitting there, watching me expectantly, and Spencer's messing with the bag that holds all the extra letters, waiting for my turn to be over so she can go, and I know Spencer will think it's hilarious if I put this word down, but Paula will probably hate me even more. Plus, she's only just now started to loosen up a little and is actually _trying _to get along. "Um…'hers'," I say instead, putting the necessary letters down. "Triple word score."

* * *

"We should go bowling," Spencer pipes up halfway through _The Silence of the Lambs_, lifting her head off of my shoulder so that Paula doesn't suspect anything when she looks over at us. We've been holding hands underneath our shared blanket for the past forty-five minutes, though. "Ash and I have gone a couple times since we moved here, mom. I bet you'd like it."

"Your whole family bowls, right?" I ask, and Spencer nods. "So _both _of you are going to crush me now."

Spencer rolls her eyes. "C'mon, you were better the second time we went."

"But not nearly good enough to beat someone as great as _you_."

She sighs dramatically. "I _am _pretty amazing, aren't I?"

Whoops. We're flirting in front of Paula. And she doesn't look too happy about it.

I clear my throat quickly, letting go of Spencer's hand and standing up. "Alright, well…I can drive if-"

"I'll drive," Paula cuts in curtly, reaching for her purse, which is sitting on the coffee table. "Spencer can just give me directions."

I end up sitting alone in the back seat, glaring out the window as Spencer excitedly tells her mom how to get to the bowling alley. Today has already been torture so far, and it's only getting worse. I can't stand to be around Spencer all day and not show any type of affection that could possibly be perceived as "too friendly" by her mom, especially since I already spend most of my spare time with Spencer trying to grope or kiss _some _part of her.

The high of our little bowling excursion is when I somehow manage to roll a strike, and Paula actually smiles and gives me a high-five. The low is the look she gives me right after that, when Spencer squeals and wraps her arms around me, and I hug her back.

And now we're at home, and it's seven-thirty. I've agreed to help Spencer get ready for her date.

"…and _don't _kiss him," I finish, crossing my arms as Spencer puts on earrings in front of her mirror. She rolls her eyes in response to my final rule.

"I'm not gonna kiss him, Ash," she promises. "We'll go out, I'll come back and tell mom he's not my type, and then in another two months I'll tell her the truth." She turns to look at me all of a sudden, and I feel my heart sink a little bit because she looks so beautiful right now, and it isn't for me. "I was thinking…" she starts hesitantly. "If I tell her in May, and go to school in August…that still leaves summer in between. So I was wondering if maybe you and Kyla have room for one more for a couple of months. I mean, if you don't it's fine but-"

"That's a great idea!" I reply, my mood instantly uplifted. "You should stay with us during the summer!"

Spencer smiles nervously. "Are you sure?"

"Absolutely."

"What about Kyla? She owns half the house, right?"

I shrug. "Yeah, but she won't…" Okay, so actually, she probably will mind. "Well, when I tell her I'm staying with her when I _could _move four hours away with you, she'll probably be fine with letting us spend two months in the same house. Kind of like a tradeoff."

Spencer nods her understanding, then looks down at herself. "Do I look okay?"

"Gorgeous," I tell her honestly.

"Thanks," Spencer responds shyly, looking back up at me. "I just wish you were the person I was going out with. And I'm sorry you have to spend the next few hours alone with my mom."

"Yeah."

We're both quiet for a moment, and Spencer sighs, probably noticing the pained expression on my face. "I'm sorry. I really don't want to go."

"…Thinking about you being on a date with someone else makes me physically sick to my stomach," I tell her without thinking, and I regret it until Spencer takes my hand and pulls me forward, resting our foreheads together so that the only place I have to look is into her eyes.

"I love you," she whispers, kissing me so gently that for a second I'm sure I've imagined it. "And I know this is hurting you, but it's hurting me too. I was being stupid when I made that boyfriend suggestion back in December, and that's not what I'm planning on doing here. It's just this one date to get my mom to back off, and then I'm done. I promise."

I nod silently, and, glancing down, I realize that Spencer's still got her necklace on, tucked away beneath her shirt.

* * *

I stay in Spencer's room after Patrick shows up to pick her up, just looking around at old family pictures and other items I managed to not notice when Spencer and I were redecorating. There's one of Glen and Spencer from when they were still toddlers, sitting under the Christmas tree and opening presents together, and it makes me smile because Glen hasn't changed much since then.

Another picture is of just Paula and Spencer, and I'd guess Spencer is around eight years old in this one. They're in front of a pool, and it looks like Paula's trying to push Spencer in, because Spencer looks like she's in the process of falling in, and Paula's arms are outstretched and she's got this big smile on her face that I'm pretty sure I've never seen before. I probably won't ever see it again.

The door opens while I'm still holding the picture up to my face, and I set it down quickly, swallowing the lump in my throat when Paula's standing in the doorway. I'm half-expecting lightning to strike or for an axe to be in one of her hands. But neither of those things happens, thankfully. She just steps into the room and closes the door behind her, then turns to look at me. "Ashley, I need to talk to you."

"About what?" I ask carefully, taking my eyes off of her and looking down at the picture, hoping to somehow channel Smiling Paula into this conversation.

"Spencer." She sits down on the edge of Spencer's bed and gestures for me to sit down, too. So I do. Reluctantly. "I just think we need to establish a few things."

Yeah, anyone who thinks this is going to go well is delusional, including Paula. "Okay. Like what?"

"Well, first of all…I want you to know that I know how you feel about her."

I already knew that. Spencer told me that forever ago. "Okay," I repeat simply. There's really no use in denying it. Spencer's feelings are the secret, not mine.

Paula seems surprised by my lack of argument, though, but it seems to fuel her little anger fire, because she blurts out, "And it's not okay."

I tilt my head to the side innocently. "Why not? I'm not hurting anyone."

"Yes, you are. You're hurting Spencer."

I have to stifle a laugh at that at that. I'm pretty sure I'm doing a lot more good than harm when it comes to Spencer. "How?"

"You're…damaging her morals."

I raise an eyebrow. "What?"

"She's spending all of her time with you, and she hasn't even _looked _at a boy since that one she brought home for dinner."

"So you think I'm turning her gay?"

"Of course not," Paula spits out curtly. "My daughter isn't gay."

"Then what's the problem?"

"I just think that if you know what's good for you, you'll stay away from her."

"Well, I've never really been all that great at knowing what's good for me, anyway."

Paula stares at me for a moment, then stands up slowly, and I stand up, too, not willing to let her tower over me. "I guess we know where we stand, then."

"I guess we do," I agree, crossing my arms and meeting her glare head-on. "Anyway…I think I'll go take a shower."

Honestly, I just want an excuse to get away from her, and as I close the bathroom door behind me and lean against it, I'm convinced that I will never truly have the approval of Paula Carlin.

* * *

Even though I already took a shower this morning, I take another one anyway because I just feel dirty after today, especially with the conversation I just had with Paula. Showers are the best time to think.

I think about Spencer and what she's doing on her date right now, about Paula and how she's never going to like me, about Carmen and Glen and how they both hate me too and don't want me with Spencer, and about Kyla, who I'm beginning to realize I majorly take for granted.

By the time I'm drying myself off, half an hour has passed, and since it's quiet downstairs, I have to assume Spencer isn't back from her date, because otherwise Paula would be busy grilling her about how it went.

I didn't bring any other clothes of my own, so I grab a tank and some pajama bottoms out of Spencer's dresser and change into them, collapsing on her bed with my hair fanned out all over her pillow and my gaze on her ceiling. And while I'm lying here, wearing her clothes and sporting hair that smells just like hers always does, I can close my eyes and practically imagine that Spencer's right here next to me.


	31. Front Porch Rejection

I'm up the second I hear a car pull into the driveway, heading downstairs just in time to see Paula dashing to the front door from the direction of the living room. If it wasn't such a serious situation, I probably would laugh at how Paula and I both simultaneously plaster ourselves to the windows with the best views of the front porch. But it is serious, and I don't laugh. Instead, I watch Patrick and Spencer walk to the front door, oblivious to Paula and I spying on them. They're holding hands, which makes me frown, but when I look more carefully, it seems that Spencer's hand is just kind of dangling there and Patrick has decided to grab onto it as tightly as possible.

Okay, so I guess Spencer didn't initiate the hand-holding. That's a good sign.

They reach the front porch and face each other less than five feet away from Paula and I, and we're both practically holding our breath.

Spencer promised me she wouldn't kiss him. She _promised._

I can't hear what they're saying, but they're both laughing at something Patrick has said, and I'm busy having Carmen flashbacks until I notice that their faces have gone all serious, and then Patrick's hand slips under Spencer's chin and he starts to lean forward.

My heart clenches painfully and for a moment I get this brief glimpse of how I'm going to feel if Spencer lets him kiss her. It feels like my heart's been ripped out and cut into tiny pieces, then thrown into the roaring fire Arthur had going on Carlin Family Game Night last Christmas.

Spencer gives Patrick this polite smile and turns her head to the side slightly, pressing a hand to his shoulder to hold him at bay. Paula lets out this soft gasp from a few feet away, and I bite into my lip, trying not to grin too widely or turn to my left and start making fun of Paula.

Patrick's eyebrows are furrowed, now, and he's taken a step backwards while Spencer says something to him that I can't hear and therefore can't understand. He nods curtly in response to whatever she's said, then shoves his hands into his pockets and turns to step down off of the front porch and make his way back down the walkway. Once he's out of sight, Spencer runs a hand through her hair and then turns to open the front door.

Paula and I are away from the windows in a second, but we're not quick enough, and Spencer raises an eyebrow in response to our guilty expressions as she enters the house and closes the front door behind her. "Were you two spying on me?""

Paula's guilt doesn't last long. "What was that?"

"What was what?" Spencer asks innocently.

"That. Just then."

"So you _were _watching us."

"Spencer, I asked you a question. Why didn't you kiss that boy?"

Spencer looks taken aback, and I'm sure I do, too. Geez, Paula. "…Because I didn't want to?"

"And why not? He was a perfectly nice boy."

"Um…no, actually. He was kind of a jerk. And I don't want to see him again."

"Oh, honey," Paula replies, her tone changing completely like she thinks some great tragedy has occurred. "Why don't we go into the living room, and you can tell me what happened?"

She takes Spencer's hand and proceeds to drag her away, and Spencer rolls her eyes, winking at me when we exchange looks. I smile back at her before I follow them into the living room. Paula sits Spencer down on the couch, then turns to face her, and I stand in the doorway, deciding to keep a safe distance away from them.

"Nothing happened, mom. I just didn't like him. He was arrogant and annoying and completely full of himself. Okay? He's just…not my type."

Paula sighs, leaning back on the couch while she thinks for a moment. "…Not your type?"

"At all," Spencer emphasizes, crossing her arms.

"Well…okay, then. Let me make a few phone calls; I might know someone at the hospital with a son around your age who-"

"Mom," Spencer cuts in quickly, and by now, I'm trying to signal to Spencer that there is no fucking way she's going out on another date. "Stop trying to set me up. I can find dates on my own, alright?"

"I'd just like to make sure you end up with someone-"

"Male?" Spencer interrupts. "You know, I don't really think it matters to you _who _I end up with anymore, as long as it's a guy. As long as it's not Ashley, right?"

Even though I'm pretty sure Spencer just hit the nail on the head, it still hurts to hear it said aloud.

"I have nothing against Ashley, it's just that-"

"Mom, that's not true. You're _always _complaining about her and glaring at her and trying to get me to stay away from her, and you hardly even know her. All you know is that she's gay and she likes me and that's all you care about."

Okay, this just got super awkward to have to stand here and watch.

"It's just not right. I'm sick of watching you parade around with some lesbian who has a crush on you when there are so many other _nice _kids you could be spending your time with."

And _that _hurt a little.

"Ashley _is _nice. You'd know that if you took the time to get to know her rather than judging her right off the bat."

Paula lowers her voice to a whisper, but she's close enough that I can still hear her. "That's not what I mean, Spencer. This girl hardly has a family, and she _doesn't _have a father-"

"Hey, Spencer?" I cut in hesitantly, hoping she can't hear the slight quiver in my voice. She looks over at me, surprised. I think she forgot I was watching them. "I think I'm just gonna go."

Spencer's expression immediately softens, and she stands up, walking over to me and taking my hand. "Please stay?" she asks, but I shake my head.

"No, I'm just in the way; you and your mom should talk, and Kyla and I need some quality sister time anyway, so…"

"Don't let what my mom says get to you, she's just-"

"Your mom," I interrupt, and we're both whispering so quietly that I'm positive Paula can't hear us. "Exactly. She's one of your parents, and she's going to be a part of your life for most of the remainder of it. And for her to bring my dad into this is pathetic. I just need to go, okay?"

"Then I'll go with you."

"Spencer, I need some time alone right now," I tell her curtly. "And you need to talk to your mom without me here. I'll see you later, okay?" I pull away from her and head for the door, deciding I can just come back for my clothes some other time or have Spencer bring them to school for me. The only thing I hate more than crying is crying in front of other people, especially Spencer, and I just need to get out of here before she sees me lose it.

"Ash…" she says gently, and I can hear her following me to the door. We're out of Paula's sight now, and she grabs my hand to stop me, forcing me to turn around and look at her. "I just…I love you, alright?" she whispers, leaning in closer so that our noses are nearly touching, and I know she wants to kiss me but can't tell how I'm going to take it in my current mood.

"Are you leaving?" Paula asks as she comes in from the living room, and Spencer moves away from me quickly, turning to look at her mother as I nod in Paula's direction. "Okay. Spencer, I wasn't done talking to you."

I'm outside before Spencer can say anything else, shoving my hands into my pockets and walking to my car with my head down and my eyes on the ground. A moment later, I hear Paula's voice start back up from behind me, her tone clearly chastising, but whatever else she's saying to Spencer is cut off from my ears when the Carlins' front door is slammed shut.

* * *

When I get home, Kyla's on the couch with her face buried in a magazine, and she raises an eyebrow at me as I close the front door, a mischievous smirk growing on her face. "Where have you been all day? Spencer's?"

"Yeah," I reply quietly, sniffing, and Kyla seems to analyze my expression for a moment, before sighing and setting the magazine off to the side.

"What did she do _now_?"

"Nothing," I insist, glancing around the living room, then over in the direction of the kitchen. "Is there someone else here? There was an extra car in the driveway when I pulled up."

"Don't try to change the subject," Kyla commands as I hear her shower turning on from down the hallway. "You know Chelsea's here."

"Chelsea?" I repeat, brightening a little. "Really? I haven't seen her in _forever_."

"Ash, she's been crashing here once a week for the past three months. You've just been too far off in Spencerland to notice."

"You're lying," I retort, sitting down next to her on the couch and pulling my shoes off, wiggling my toes once they're free.

"I'm not. Ask her when she's done showering."

I cross my arms, and Kyla rolls her eyes, bending one of her legs beneath her and then turning to face me on the couch. "You know, this makes the eighth time in three months, if I'm counting correctly."

"The eighth time _what_?"

"That you've come home upset because of some Spencer-related issue. You're too absorbed."

"With Spencer?" I ask incredulously. "No I'm not."

"You haven't even noticed when Chelsea visits, we don't ever spend any time together anymore, and even Aiden is starting to miss talking to you. All you care about nowadays is Carmen and Glen and Paula and trying to make everyone okay with you and Spencer."

"That's important to me," I defend. "Spencer-"

"You wanna know why I was so upset yesterday?" Kyla cuts in suddenly, glaring at me. "I didn't say anything because I thought maybe you'd figure it out on your own, and I _still _didn't mention it today because I figured late was better than never. Yesterday was the one-year anniversary of the day we started getting along. You promised me last month that we'd do something together to celebrate. And instead, you went to Ego with Spencer and left me home alone to watch old movies."

Crap. That's right; I did promise her. "I'm sorry," I tell her honestly, and she looks away from me, shrugging. "We could do something tonight…with you and Chelsea and I…"

"Is that supposed to make everything okay for now? I don't appreciate being ignored, Ash."

"No…okay. Fine. I might be a little too Spencer-oriented right now. But things are kind of hectic at the moment and I promise I'll spend more time with you once everything's calmed down a little. Kay?"

Kyla chews on her bottom lip for a moment, and then nods, letting me pull her in for a hug. "Okay."

"And I haven't told you yet," I add when I pull away, "but I really wanted to buy a new place, because Spencer's going to college four hours away from here and I wanted to be closer to her. We talked about it, though, and I'm staying here with you. I can't ditch my sister, right?"

"You don't have to do that," Kyla replies, rolling her eyes, but I can tell she's touched. "I know you don't want to."

I give her a small smile. "Well, we should stick together, and honestly, I think Spencer kind of wants to do the independent streak thing for a few years."

"Ugh. We've had plenty of that already," Kyla points out.

"Yeah, that's why you probably need me more than she does, anyway."

She scoffs at that. "I don't need you."

"Sure you do," I argue, nudging her playfully. "Who else would use their electric guitar to wake you up for school in the morning?"

"The electric guitar _Spencer _gave you," Kyla teases, and I smile back at her, glad we're done with heavy stuff and back into our comfort zone. "Speaking of music, how's the writing been coming along?"

"Oh, you know that's just a hobby."

"Doubt it. I've seen some of your stuff, remember? You could seriously follow in daddy's footsteps."

"Yeah, that's what Spencer said, too. But I don't know. I'm not really into the whole famous thing. Being his daughter is enough fame for me."

Kyla lets out a dry laugh all of a sudden. "Remember when they tried to film that documentary of us after he died? And that guy kept trying to get an interview with you, so you punched him in the face?"

"Yeah, well…I wasn't exactly in the mood for an interview," I recall.

"Yeah," Kyla echoes, and we're both silent for a moment.

"So…how are things with Aiden?" I eventually ask, unable to come up with anything else to talk about.

"Pretty good."

"…That's it?"

"Yup. Better than last time, anyway. He actually seems to be interested in me this time, not just having sex with me." Kyla smirks all of a sudden. "Speaking of sex, how are you and-?"

"Kyla," I interrupt, rolling my eyes. "Trust me, you'll know when it happens. _If _it happens."

"If? What happened to 'Spencer's so wonderful; we're going to get married and have little mini Spencers and be together forever'?"

"I never said that," I point out.

"You might as well have."

"Well…I don't know. Things are just weird right now, and Paula can't stand me, so how am I supposed to spend the rest of my life with her if her mom's going to hate me the whole time?"

"I'm sure she'd have to come around eventually." She smiles, then stands up and goes into the kitchen to get something to eat. I turn around and watch her fix a sandwich behind the counter, raising an eyebrow as I try to imagine Paula not ever hating me. "You know, this is never a conversation I imagined having with you."

"Things change," I say, shrugging.

"What's so great about her?" Kyla questions, looking over at me. "I mean, I like Spencer and all, but what makes her any different from the girls you just slept with and never heard from again?"

"Well…I didn't meet her at a club," I tell her, grinning.

"You know what I mean."

I sigh, turning back around so I'm facing away from her. "She's got really twinkly blue eyes…"

"You like her because of her _eyes_?"

"There's more," I snap. "Which you would know if you didn't interrupt me."

"Sorry," Kyla apologizes, joining me on the couch and taking a big bite out of her sandwich. Her next sentence comes out muffled, but I can still understand it. "What else?"

"And she really doesn't have a mean bone in her body. Like, she's all sweet and innocent until I'm alone with her, and _then_-"

"Next!"

"Right." I clear my throat quickly. "Um, well…I don't know a lot of people that could go through what she's been through these past few months. I mean, when I left tonight, she was arguing with her mom. And she had to come out to everyone in school and now she's got Glen trying to break us up and a friend that wants to get with her even though she's dating me. _And _she's still pulling off straight A's, for the most part. I don't know how she does it."

"Maybe she really is perfect," Kyla says wistfully in what I guess is an impression of me. I punch her arm, and she laughs. "Alright, you know what? If Spencer had a bad night tonight, we should do something fun tomorrow, and she can come with. Chelsea's plans are free, too, so she can go with us, and I'll make sure Aiden goes, too."

"Can I bring my friend Sean?"

I adjust my position on the couch to face the doorway of Kyla's room, grinning when I see Chelsea drying her hair off and sporting pajamas that must be hers. "So you really do visit once a week?" I ask her, already standing up to go give her a hug. She laughs as she hugs me back, looking past me at Kyla.

"Is that what she told you?"

"I had to get her to admit she's obsessed with Spencer," Kyla replies, shrugging, and I scoff, pulling away from Chelsea to glare at Kyla.

"It's more like every three weeks. This is only the fourth time I've been here since Christmas, so you're not _too _oblivious. And is this the same Spencer from-?"

"Yup, it's amazing, isn't it?" Kyla answers for me. "Same girl since Ashley started crushing on her in October."

"It wasn't a crush," I complain, crossing my arms, but I brighten when I realize I can show Chelsea what Spencer looks like. "Hey! I have pictures. Let me go get them."

We all sit together on the couch a minute later, and I put the photo album on my lap with a grin. "She gave me this for Christmas." Kyla "hmphs" from beside me, and I add, "Kyla helped her get the older pictures, though. Anyway, let me show you the recent ones." I flip through quickly until I get to the newer pictures, the ones of Spencer and me at lunch before we were dating and the one of Spencer kissing me on the cheek.

"Aww, she's a cutie," Chelsea says, and I stick my tongue out at Kyla, who just wrinkles her nose at me in response. "So you two have been together since December?"

"Yeah, but we were into each other way before that." I blink. "Emotionally."

Chelsea laughs. "Right."

I look over at Kyla. "You haven't told her much about Spencer and I, have you?"

Kyla shrugs. "It's not too far up there on our list of things to talk about." She leans forward and looks past me at Chelsea. "It's been five months since they met and three months since they went all official, and they haven't had sex yet."

Chelsea starts laughing again, and I flush, closing the album and setting it down on the coffee table. I would never tell them the real reason Spencer and I haven't done it yet, so Kyla still thinks it's because we're technically not allowed. "I know how that sounds, and that's _so _not the case. She's not eighteen yet so we can't anyway, and if you must know, I'm doing a better job of waiting than she is."

"I don't believe you," Kyla tells me bluntly. "You're all over her in public."

"Well, like I said, when we're alone-"

"Okay, so about tomorrow," she cuts in, looking over at Chelsea again. "Do you have Sean's number?"

"Yeah, I can call him tomorrow and ask him to meet us somewhere."

"We should go somewhere everyone can get to easily, with plenty of free space on Sundays to hang out and have fun."

* * *

"Basketball?" Spencer questions, raising an eyebrow at me as I smile from the front seat of my car. We're parked in front of her house, with Kyla in the passenger seat and Chelsea in the back.

"In the school gym," I add, nodding. "It was Aiden's idea, of course, but it's a good place to meet up and have some fun."

"I think you've got the wrong Carlin. Glen's on a camping trip. Plus, mom wants to go to church today."

"Well, your mom was also being a bitch last night, so just ditch and come hang out. She doesn't know where we're going, and you're already dressed anyway." I grin. "Hop on in."

Spencer sighs, then throws a glance over her shoulder to where her mom is waiting expectantly on the front porch. "…She's gonna kill me when I get home."


	32. April Fools

**A/N: I'm leaving to go visit some family for Christmas on Wednesday, and even though I'll have my laptop with me, they don't have Wifi, which means no updates until around Saturday :(**

**Fortunately, there will be an update tomorrow night, and it's basically just a coincidence, but the end of that chapter is pretty much the perfect place to leave you guys for a few days (at least in my opinion). So after this chapter, there'll be one more, and then I'll update again on Saturday or Sunday.**

* * *

My grin widens, and Kyla quickly crawls into the back while Spencer opens the passenger's side door and slips into the seat. I can hear Paula yelling something over the sound of my car's engine, but I'm already stepping on the gas before Spencer's even gets her door closed.

"If she's ready to kill you when you get home, you can always crash with me and Kyla," I point out, watching Paula stand in the middle of the street in my rearview mirror. "Geez, she looks pissed."

"I can't believe I just did that," Spencer moans into her hands.

"You'll be okay," I promise, leaning over to kiss her cheek, then focusing on the road in front of me. Spencer turns around after a moment, looking into the backseat.

"Hey, Kyla…oh."

"Hi, I'm Chelsea. Nice to meet you."

"Remember, I told you about Kyla's friend Chelsea?" I remind her.

"Oh yeah. Nice to meet you too, Chelsea."

"She's inviting her friend Sean to come to the gym with us, and Aiden should already be there shooting hoops," Kyla fills in.

"Is that all he ever does?" Spencer asks.

"When he's not at the regular gym," I reply, and Kyla and Chelsea laugh from the backseat.

"Aiden. I haven't seen him since last year," Chelsea points out.

"He hasn't changed too much. He's just less of a jerk and more into the whole 'committal relationship' thing."

"Sounds like someone else we know," Kyla says, and I glare at her in the mirror while Spencer smiles and squeezes my hand. "Expect things to get really mushy when we get to the gym, by the way, Chelsea."

"Yeah," I agree. "Kyla and Aiden love to just sit there and trade compliments and pick each other flowers every day. It's disgusting."

"_Not _who I was talking about."

"And we are _here_," I announce, pulling into the school parking lot to see a couple of cars parked near the gym. "Looks like Sean and Aiden are, too."

When we get into the gym, Aiden and Sean are playing each other one-on-one, but they both turn their heads when we walk in, abandoning the game to come greet us.

Chelsea introduces Spencer and Sean to each other, and then Aiden asks, "So are we going to play or what?"

"Um…why don't you and Kyla play against Sean and Chelsea, and Spencer and I can watch?" I suggest, already pulling a giggling Spencer over to the bleachers so we can sit together. Aiden rolls his eyes, but goes to pick up a basketball anyway, then tosses it to Kyla, who barely manages to catch it. Spencer laughs next to me.

"This is going to be fun to watch," she comments, and now it's my turn to laugh.

"You're actually going to watch them?"

"Do you have a better idea?" Spencer asks, and I hardly give her enough time to raise an eyebrow at me before I press my lips to hers gently. I feel her smile into the kiss just before I pull away.

"I didn't get to do that yesterday," I point out.

"Sorry," she replies quietly, playing with a strand of my hair without looking into my eyes. "My mom didn't give us any time alone."

"She's in denial," I tell her, because I talked to Paula last night and it's one of those things I can kind of just tell. "She gave me this whole lecture about how you're not gay and I need to stay away from you, and she got _that _upset because you wouldn't kiss one guy? I think she just refuses to believe it's true. And…you know, I think once you _do _tell her and she gets over it, she's still going to hate me."

"No she won't," Spencer insists, wrapping her arms around me and pulling me against her. "She can't once she sees how happy you make me."

"You make me happy, too," I mumble, resting my hand on her thigh as Spencer kisses me again. "But I can only take so much drama."

"I'm sorry. But I'm surprised you're not used to drama after the year you've had," Spencer says lightly, still twisting that same strand of hair around her finger, and I smile at her, leaning forward until our noses are practically touching.

"Yeah, well I was just starting to get into the regular swing of things until you came along."

"Yeah? School Monday thru Friday and a different girl every Friday night?"

"Basically," I agree. "But it's better than no school at all and a different girl every night."

"And now?"

I grin at her. "I go to almost all of my classes, and there's just one girl, every day _and _night."

"She's lucky," Spencer replies, and I can see her eyes twinkling just a couple of inches away from my own in that special Spencer way that I love.

"I'm lucky."

"Obsessed!" Kyla calls to us just when we're about to kiss, and I raise my middle finger in what I hope is the right direction, kissing Spencer anyway. She giggles into the kiss until my tongue slips into her mouth, and then she drops that strand of hair and puts her hand on my shoulder instead, pulling me closer as I cup her cheeks with both hands.

A loud bang from just behind me makes us both jump, and I break the kiss to yell out a curse at Aiden, who apparently thought it would be funny to throw the basketball at the bleachers while we were kissing. "Come on, you two!" he calls. "Come play a game with us!"

"I don't even like basketball," I complain, but when I look over at Spencer she seems to be debating joining them. I lean forward before she can open her mouth and press my lips to her neck, and whatever she'd been about to say immediately dies in her throat. "You don't want to go with them, right Spencer?" I murmur, grinning against her skin as she lets out a little whine and Aiden groans loudly.

"We'll play in a minute," Spencer says quickly, tilting her head to the side as I pepper a few more light kisses down her neck. Then I'm thinking about how much I love the way Spencer tastes, and then _that _has me thinking about things that both my heart race and my stomach sink. Sex with Spencer isn't something I'd really given much thought to recently, especially with all the craziness we're already having to deal with. But when I _do _start to think about it now, the idea both exhilarates and frustrates me. I want her, but it feels a lot like the way I used to want girls at Ego. And I'm waiting for it to feel different.

Almost as if she knows what I'm thinking about, Spencer's hands slide down to my hips, then dip just a little bit lower until they're resting on my lower back, dangerously close to several places I'd admittedly like for her to touch.

"Ash! Spencer!"

I pull away from Spencer to see Aiden watching us expectantly. "Um…right. Basketball," I breathe out, standing up a little shakily and then offering my hand to Spencer. Because I'd _so _rather play a stupid sport than make out with her. Thank you, Aiden.

* * *

"So…I'm grounded," Spencer tells me calmly as we're on our way to our lockers the next morning. "For a week."

"Just because of yesterday?" I ask her, wrinkling my nose. "That's so stupid. All we did was hang out in the gym."

"Yeah, but my dad actually ended up agreeing with the decision, even though it was my mom's. He said I was supposed to be spending time with her for the day, not running off with my friends and skipping out on church. So now I'm stuck at home after school for the rest of this week, except to go to the prom committee meeting on Friday."

"Do you need a ride home? That way we at least have a little free time together outside of school?"

Spencer smiles at me and grabs my hand, nodding her agreement. "Definitely. I could use a break from rides with Glen. He's torture."

"Still?" I ask, sighing as we reach our lockers and dropping her hand so I can enter my combination.

"Yeah. I think he can't decide between trying to convince me you're an awful person and trying to convince me I'm not gay. And then there's the occasional 'Ashley is completely ruining your life', which is ridiculous." She glances over at me and catches the look on my face, then immediately pauses, furrowing her eyebrows. "Ash, you don't agree with him, do you?"

"I've thought about it," I admit. "All this stuff that's going on with you…it's kind of my fault. I even made you get your first B."

"That's not true," Spencer insists. "Well…except the part about the B, but that doesn't matter. My life would suck without you."

I raise an eyebrow at her, leaning against my locker. "Kelly Clarkson?"

She shakes her head and gives me a small smile. "No. Spencer Carlin."

* * *

April Fool's Day is easily the most annoying day of the year. Especially when it's on a school day.

That happens to be the case today, because it's officially the morning of Thursday, April 1, and I'm really not in the mood to be pranked today. I'm not ever in the mood to be pranked, actually. But as the school's most famous lesbian, I'm definitely an easy target, and it _does _tend to happen.

I'm opening my locker this morning, wondering if Spencer's gotten to school yet and if I'll have time to meet up with her before first period, when a flood of condoms comes flowing out the second I have it open, spilling out onto the floor around me. Several kids in the hallway around me burst into laughter, and I spot a small group of senior boys watching me with smirks on their faces.

My first instinct is to go beat the shit out of them, because I totally could, but then I realize that if they know where my locker is, they most likely know where Spencer's is, too, so I stalk over to Spencer's locker and enter her combination, then step backwards as another flood of condoms spills out of her locker and onto the floor. I scowl, then begin to clean out her locker until I don't see any more condoms inside, and then kick all of the ones on the floor under her locker over to the pile beneath my own, shutting Spencer's locker behind me. At least now she won't have to deal with any of this.

"I don't need these," I point out to the boys who are still smirking at me, bending down to pick one up. "And if you have this many spares, apparently neither do you."

A few people closest to us let out low "ooh"s, and the boys are immediately glaring at me instead. I spot a younger-looking kid staring at the pile at my feet, and hold the condom in my hand out towards him.

"Want one, kid?" He's hurrying forward immediately, and I decide maybe this isn't such a bad thing after all. "They cost twenty-five cents," I add quickly, and he digs through his pocket for a moment, then pulls out a quarter and trades me it for the condom. A second later, he's running away in the direction of the freshman hall, practically shouting an advertisement about "the chick that's selling condoms at her locker".

I'm surrounded by freshman boys in less than two minutes, selling off the condoms one by one until I've eventually gotten rid of them all and there's at least ten dollars worth of coins and bills in my hand, about enough for four or five days of school lunch. Satisfied with how this day's going so far, I grin at the group of senior boys as I saunter on by, commenting, "Thanks for paying for my girlfriend's lunch all next week, guys. I'm sure she'll appreciate it."

* * *

"Somebody put gum in my hair," Spencer tells me quietly when I see her for the first time, just after the end of first period. Sure enough, when I look, a large chunk of pink bubble gum has been stuck near the bottom of her hair.

"Oh, Spence…" I mumble, watching her wince when I try to tug it out. "Alright. It might be easier to get out if your hair's wet. Let's go to the bathroom."

We spend the next ten minutes wetting Spencer's hair with ice cold water, and she stands still while I try to work the gum out of her hair, trying not to pull faces when I can tell it hurts. "At least it's near the bottom," I point out, hoping I sound optimistic even though I'm really pissed off at whoever did this. "Did you see who-?"

Spencer shakes her head before I even finish. "No. I'm not even sure how long it's been in there."

There are a few girls that come in and out of the bathroom while we're in there, and the polite ones hide their smiles. The bitchiest ones snicker, and if Spencer didn't need me right now, I'd make sure that by the time I'm done with them, their hair would look a lot worse than Spencer's does. Instead, I just pretend I can't hear them, and squeeze Spencer's hand with my free one every few seconds or whenever I see her tense.

"Okay, I think I got all of it. We just need a comb to brush the rest out and you should be fine. Do you have one?"

"No," Spencer replies dejectedly, shaking her head, and I bite down on my bottom lip, wondering what the hell we're going to do now.

Heavy footsteps echo in the bathroom as someone else enters, and a moment later, the last person I want to see appears a few feet away from us.

Madison takes one looks at us and wrinkles her nose disgustedly, hiking her purse up over her shoulder. "Please tell me I'm not walking in on something."

My eyes focus in on her purse, recalling that back in freshman year, Madison used to keep all kinds of crap in her purses. Including a hair brush. "Do you have a comb we can borrow?"

"Uh…yes and no. Yes, I have a comb, but no, you can't borrow it. Lesbianism might be contagious, and I'm not taking that risk. You two dykes have at it; I'll go find a different bathroom."

She turns to leave the bathroom, and I glare at her, taking a step towards her and letting go of Spencer. "God, would you just give it a rest? Someone put gum in Spencer's hair and we need a comb to help brush it out."

"Well, it's no wonder she's getting picked on, considering she's-" Madison pauses, looking past me, and I hear a small thump from behind me, turning around just in time to see Spencer draw her knees up to her chest from her spot on the floor and sob into them loudly enough for it to echo like Madison's footsteps did.

My heart clenches instinctively and I rush to kneel down beside her, putting a hand on her shoulder and leaning towards her, trying to get her to look at me. "Spencer? Spencer, what's wrong?"

"What's wrong?" she echoes, raising her face, and now I kind of wish she hadn't because I can see the tears sliding down her cheeks. "What's _not _wrong, Ash? My mom hates you and Glen hates both me and you and someone put gum in my hair and we can't even get a _brush _from someone to get it out and I just want everything to be okay again! Or for me and you to just go somewhere where everyone will leave us alone and we don't have to worry about getting teased and made fun of anymore."

Madison looks a little uncomfortable watching this, and she reaches down to dig through her purse for a moment, pulling her comb out and walking over to me. "Okay, here. You can have it. Just…get her to stop crying."

"Thanks," I mutter, taking the comb from her and then focusing my attention on Spencer again. I think the only other times I've seen her cry were when Aiden showed up to her house, and on Valentine's Day after she told me she loved me, and even those weren't anything compared to this. I have a feeling I'm watching the result of several months' worth of stress finally bubbling over.

"Um…do you need me to…I don't know. Should I go get someone?" Madison asks, and I'm thankful she's finally taking the time to be sensitive for once, but I shake my head in response.

"It's fine."

"Alright. Well…just give that back whenever, then." She leaves to go find another bathroom, and I rub Spencer's back and whisper anything comforting I can think of in her ear for another few minutes, waiting for her sobs to subside. Eventually, they've turned into little sniffles and I've managed to adjust her so that I can run the comb through her hair, and after that, her breathing starts to even out and her body stops shaking so much.

"Does this feel good?" I ask her, referring to the brushing, and she nods briefly, her chin resting on her knees. Her eyes are closed, and if I look from the right angle, I can see tear-tracks on her cheeks. "It'll be okay," I say after a few more minutes, still brushing even though the gum's all the way out by now. "We're almost done with high school, and the good thing about going to a faraway college is that nobody knows you. So if you want, you don't have to tell anyone there you're gay. You'll fit right in."

Spencer doesn't say anything for a while, but when she finally does speak, it's to apologize for crying. I just kiss her on the cheek and set the comb down, glad that nobody else happened to come in here while she was upset. I don't think Spencer can take anymore teasing at this point. "I'm not going to hide it," she tells me after another long pause. "I don' t want to pretend to be something I'm not."

"Don't ask, don't tell?" I offer, and she nods her agreement, sighing simultaneously.

"I don't know how you handle it."

"It hurt at first," I tell her, leaning back against the wall as Spencer does the same thing beside me. "Eventually you learn to ignore it."

"I don't know how. I can't stop caring," Spencer admits. "I don't think I ever will."

"Well, you just have to tell yourself that anyone who's going to judge you is just stupid, and you don't want to be friends with an idiot, anyway. If they make fun of you, screw 'em. You don't need them." She looks over at me, forcing a smile, and I reach out to wipe a few stray tears still on her cheeks. "You're beautiful, no matter what anyone says," I tell her honestly, and I can see that fake smile morphing into a real one the longer we look into each other's eyes. "The most beautiful person in the whole word," I add childishly, hoping to get a grin out of her, and it works, but Spencer's shaking her head a moment later. "You're not?" I ask, crossing my arms. "Who else is there, then?"

She just laces our fingers together and leans forward, joining our lips softly, and I'm pretty sure I feel myself fall in love all over again.


	33. First Time

**A/N: This took _forever_ to write, so I hope it turned out okay :)**

* * *

When Spencer isn't already in the parking lot by the time I've arrived to pick her up on Friday afternoon, I have to admit I'm mildly worried.

When she still hasn't shown up five minutes later, I'm up to concerned, and after ten minutes have passed, I'm getting out of my car and heading for the lunchroom to go find Spencer myself.

It's completely empty when I get there, meaning everyone has already left, and I'm wondering now if maybe Spencer said four o'clock instead of five and actually ended up getting a ride home with Carmen or something. But if that was the case, she'd probably have at least texted me at some point.

I'm about to leave the lunchroom when I hear voices coming from the hallway just outside it, and when I peek in through the window of the door leading to the hallway, I can see Spencer and Carmen standing across from each other. It looks like they're arguing, and when I open the door just a little bit, I can hear their voices clearly.

"-already talked about this, Carmen."

Why is it that I already know exactly what this is going to be about?

"Okay, but how am I supposed to listen to what you say when your body language is telling me something totally different?"

"Look. We're _friends_. I'm sorry if there was some kind of misunderstanding, but that's all I ever wanted to be. I'm in love with Ashley."

I love you too, Spencer.

"_Ashley." _Carmen spits out my name in the same tone I normally say Madison's in, and it makes me wince a little. "That stuck-up bitch who prances around like she owns the school?" Okay, I _so _do not do that. "What could she possibly have to offer that I can't do ten times better?"

"Well, she doesn't insult you, for one, even though she knows how you feel, which is more than I can say for the way _you _talk about _her_." That's right. Tell her, Spencer. "She helped me realize I was gay, she comforts me when I'm sad, and she would do anything for me without hesitation. Nobody can replace her, or even come close. And I'm sorry if you can't handle it, but I'll always be in love with Ashley. There's nothing you can do to change that."

"Spencer," Carmen replies seriously, taking a step towards her. "I can't just be friends with you, okay? I really like you and I can't just sit back and wait for that girl to break your heart so I can swoop in and pick up the pieces."

"Then don't," Spencer says easily, gesturing towards the opposite end of the hallway from where I'm hiding. "Go. I'm sick of everyone treating Ashley like she's the same person she was last year, or the year before. If you want to talk shit about my girlfriend, go find someone who doesn't like her, because you definitely won't be talking to me anymore."

"So that's it, then? You're just going to throw everything we have away."

"We don't have anything. _Go_."

They stare each other down for a moment, and for a brief second I think about showing myself just in case Carmen gets mad enough to lay a hand on Spencer, but then she turns on her heels and storms down the hall, turning a corner at the end of it and disappearing from my sight.

Spencer stares in the direction Carmen left in, then finally lets out a loud sigh and leans against the lockers, running a hand through her hair. I'm not sure whether to be relieved that Carmen's gone and out of the picture, or worried about how Spencer's going to handle losing her as a friend, but I know that at the moment it feels like a huge weight has been lifted off of me.

"Spencer?" I call anxiously, peeking into the hall, and Spencer looks startled for a moment, then embarrassed when she sees it's me.

"Ash! Um…did you just get here?"

I debate lying for a moment, but I don't want to have to make Spencer explain everything to me when I already know most of what happened. "No. I heard most of that."

"Oh." She bites down on her bottom lip and averts her gaze. "Sorry."

"For what?"

"…I don't know. For what Carmen said, I guess."

I roll my eyes, walking over to Spencer and taking her hand in mine. "I don't care what Carmen says about me. We've hated each other since the day we met."

Spencer raises an eyebrow at me. "Why didn't you tell me?"

I shrug. "She was _your _friend. Not mine. I'm not allowed to choose who you hang out with."

"You should've told me she was such a bitch, though."

"I hinted."

"You did not," Spencer retorts with a smirk, and I just shrug again, feeling my heart beat a little faster when I think about what I really want to ask her.

"Spencer…did you really mean that you'd always love me?"

Spencer's whole face goes red at the abrupt subject change, and she looks away from me again. "Um…" She struggles with what to say for a moment, then sighs, forcing her eyes to meet mine. One of her hands comes up to fiddle with the chain of her necklace, and then she glances down at it briefly. "Remember when you asked me why I wore this every day?" she asks all of a sudden, and I'm not really sure what this has to do with my question, but I go along with it.

"Yeah. And you said it was because I'm always in your heart."

"And then you asked what I'd do with it if we broke up. And I said I didn't know." She tilts her head to the side slightly, still looking at me. "I think I'd probably wear it anyway, because as long as I love you, there's no point in taking it off. And…I'm planning on wearing it forever."

Both my heart and my cheeks feel warm, and I suddenly feel like the biggest asshole in the world, because I haven't even told her I love her yet.

Spencer looks guilty all of a sudden, and she steps away from me, eyeing me nervously. "Does that freak you out?" she asks.

"No," I say quickly, closing the distance she just put between us and grabbing her hand again. "I feel the same way," I'm blurting out without thinking, and while Spencer is processing this, I am too. And I realize that it's completely true. I can't see myself with anyone else besides Spencer ever again. Right here, this, with the two of us, is how things are supposed to be forever. "I love you," I finish, and it feels like I'm finally giving myself over to her completely. My heart is officially in Spencer's hands, and now all I can do is hope she takes good care of it.

* * *

Spencer's fingers are trembling slightly as they struggle to undo the button on my shorts, and I know I'm probably staring at them way too intently, but I'm too nervous to look anywhere else. My shirt was already off by the time we got into my bedroom, and Spencer's is on the floor around here somewhere, too. Fuck, I'm nervous as hell, and by the looks of things, I'm not the only one.

"Just…uh…I'll do it," I breathe out quietly, moving Spencer's hands out of the way gently and pulling the button free. The zipper doesn't even have to be pulled down; my shorts just drop to the floor of their own accord, and I finally raise my eyes as I step out of them.

Spencer's already standing in front of me in just her undergarments, and even though she still has a bra on, she's raised her arms to cover her chest, and her hands are running up and down her upper arms of their own accord. Her eyes are locked onto my abs, of all places, and if my bed wasn't about five feet away at the moment, I'd probably be grinning or laughing at that. I have never felt as unconfident when it comes to sleeping with someone as I do right now. "Spencer?"

Her eyes shoot up to mine, and her cheeks pink as she lets her arms fall to her sides. She's looking at me like she expects me to do something first, and it dawns on me that between Spencer and I, I'm probably the one who should be taking the lead. Otherwise, we're just stuck here in our underwear, staring at each other.

I step forward, then lean in and close the distance between us, and after a moment, Spencer's arms snake around me and she pulls me into her, bringing our bodies together. If I wasn't already turned on enough after the kissing we did coming up the stairs and seeing Spencer nearly naked just now, this is definitely ensuring that I'm _physically_ ready to do this. Now if only the emotional part would just catch up.

"Just go slow," Spencer whispers against my lips, and of course she knows exactly what I'm thinking even as we're making out next to my bed with nearly all of our clothes off.

"Stop thinking," I order, pressing my lips to her neck and trying to sound annoyed, and Spencer lets out a small sigh of contentment, but then pushes me away slightly and leans forward so our noses are nearly touching and her eyes are locked onto mine.

"_You _stop thinking," she commands gently, not fooled by my tone.

I swallow, allowing my gaze to slide to the bed behind Spencer when I feel her hand drift down the front of me, starting around my ribcage and ending on my stomach. When I look into her eyes again, I can still tell she's nervous, but she's evidently trying to hide it for my sake. God, this is Spencer's first time with a girl, and if she has to be the composed one, something is clearly wrong with this picture.

I'm dropping down to my knees before I can think about it, pressing my lips to Spencer's stomach while I rest both of my hands on her hips. I hear her breath hitch from above me as my lips slide against her skin, and right when I'm about to taste it, she pulls on my hands and forces me to my feet again. Before I can complain, she's tugging me to my bed and pulling me down on top of her, and then we're kissing again and my head is swimming because I can feel her skin against mine pretty much from the neck down. My hand is resting on her stomach right over where I was just kissing, and I can't decide whether to go up or down from there, because my whole body is screaming down but my mind is telling me that this has to be different from club sex.

I'm a girl, so obviously I'm used to the sound bras make when they're unclasped. I've heard it a thousand times. So when I hear the same sound now, but my hand hasn't moved, I'm confused for a few seconds. But then I realize Spencer is peeling my bra away from me even as we're kissing, and I pull away to shoot her an incredulous look that has her blushing even as she tosses the bra off to the side. And even though I'm nervous, I'm not self-conscious about my body, so I don't cover myself when her eyes slip from mine and head straight for my chest. I do grin at her when her blush darkens, though. "What happened to going slow?" I complain, but secretly I'm kind of happy she did this, because it's not so tense and I feel a little less anxious now.

"I wanted to see you," she tells me sheepishly, her eyes back on mine again. "You're really beautiful, Ash."

I just smile in response and press a kiss to her bare shoulder, then another to her collarbone, and then a few more all the way up her neck until her breathing has quickened beside my ear and I can feel her breath on my skin. "Do you want to take yours off, or should I?" I mutter as I nibble on her earlobe, and Spencer reaches up to grasp either of my shoulders, seeming a little distracted.

"Huh?"

It takes me a second to realize my thigh has slipped between hers and that that's why she's arching her back the way she is. "Your, um…bra…" I force myself to stay, but I'm a little busy paying attention to the way Spencer's stomach muscles are tensing under my hand. "Should I take it off?"

She swallows audibly through her heavy breathing, but nods, and I reach around her with my free hand and unclasp it effortlessly, then let myself rock forward slightly so that she lets out a gasp and her legs tense on either side of mine. She's only wearing underwear and I can feel what I'm doing to her through it, and it's just now setting in that there's really no turning back at this point. We're actually doing this.

Spencer with no bra on is easily the most gorgeous thing I've ever seen, especially when her cheeks are pinked with both embarrassment and arousal and she's looking back at me like she thinks I'm gorgeous, too.

I plant my palms on either side of her head and kiss her deeply, swallowing her moans as my thigh grinds upwards and she pushes down against it in response. My whole body is throbbing, and I can feel Spencer's heart racing beneath the place where our chests are pressed together, and it isn't long before I have to pull my thigh away and slide one of my hands into her underwear instead. Spencer bites down on my tongue gently without meaning to, and I break the kiss to look down at her, only to find that her eyes are shut tightly and she's biting into her bottom lip now that we're not kissing anymore. Then I realize I didn't even ask if what I just did was okay with her, but I stop worrying about it the second she pushes into my hand and groans so quietly that I almost don't hear it.

My first instinct is to go straight for inside of her, but I quickly quell that urge and let my fingers explore for a moment, listening to the sounds Spencer is making to try and figure out where she wants me to touch. Not that I don't already know the female anatomy well enough to realize where that's going to be, but I'd rather do it this way, slowly. Even so, it isn't long before my thumb has found her clit and Spencer is tensing and twisting beneath me and her hands are squeezing my shoulders so tightly that it almost hurts.

I'm pushing a finger inside of her before I can help myself, and Spencer bites down even harder on her lip and opens her eyes. The second they're staring into mine, my mind goes blank and I forget about everything except for trying to keep her eyes darkened several shades like they are right now.

If Kyla weren't out somewhere with Aiden right now, I have no doubt that she'd be able to hear us, because even though she's trying to be, Spencer isn't very quiet, even when I kiss her or whisper something soft into her ear to try to calm her down. I don't mind too much, though, because we _are _home alone and it's all just turning me on even more.

Despite the whole loudness issue, I'm still going slow because there are so many first times involved in this and I don't want to rush things too much. It's Spencer's first time with a girl, naturally, but it's also both of our first times with someone we're in love with, it's my first time with a girl outside of a club in years, and it's also the first time I've brought someone to orgasm while making eye contact with them the entire time. But that's what happens.

I've done this enough to recognize when a girl is close, and when Spencer's breathing grows increasingly uneven and she clenches down on my fingers, I know exactly what it means. She jerks beneath me and tenses up with a low moan, then pulls me down to her and kisses me while our eyes stay locked and she breathes out my name into my mouth. I almost feel like crying then, because _no one_, not even Aiden, has ever said my name before.

Spencer lays there for a little while to catch her breath, and I roll off of her and rest on my side instead, facing her while I smooth her hair down with one hand and rub her stomach with the other. "You're so beautiful," I whisper in her ear, but I think she's off in another world at the moment and doesn't quite catch it.

"…Ash?" she finally says after at least five minutes of silence, and I smile down at her.

"Hmm?"

"Was that different from what you're used to?"

"Definitely, Spence."

"…In a good way?"

"Yes," I say firmly, and she rolls over to face me, looking a little guilty but also extremely relieved.

"I love you."

I can feel another smile tugging at the corner of my lips as I reply, "I love you too." My own breathing has long since evened out, and I don't feel nervous at all anymore. I'm too happy to be nervous, and I can tell by the way Spencer's eyes are fluttering shut that she's anything _but _anxious or scared about what just happened between us. She was ready for this long before I was.

"I'm tired," she admits quietly, and I realize that this is why she looked guilty a second ago.

"I know," I reply, kissing her forehead. "It's okay."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Just…stay with me tonight."


	34. Fooling the Fool

**A/N: I'm only four chapters ahead of you guys, so I might not be able to update every night anymore. But updates will definitely still be frequent. **

**I hope everyone had a good holiday; I know I sure did :)**

* * *

Kyla's making breakfast when I head downstairs in the morning, and the smell of pancakes and maple syrup only brightens my already overly happy mood.

"The Carlins called last night," is the first thing Kyla says. She hands me my cell phone, which I apparently left on the kitchen counter, and when I open it, it confirms what she's already told me. I have three missed calls, all from the same number. "They were looking for Spencer."

"Oh." I lean against the island in the middle of our kitchen, sighing to myself. "I'll get her to call them when she wakes up," I add, because it doesn't take a genius to figure out that if Spencer wasn't home, she was with me.

"Sorry I got home so late," Kyla replies as she pours some batter into a pan. I've always loved the hissing sound that makes, but then again, I love everything this morning. "Aiden insisted on spending an extra hour at the gym before our date."

"You had a date?" I respond absentmindedly, realizing only too late that that was probably the wrong thing to say.

Kyla just snorts, though, and turns around to look at me. "Yeah. That's what Aiden and I call it when we spend time alone together. What do you and Spencer call it? 'Bonding'?"

"Only around Paula," I retort, shooting her a silly grin, and Kyla smiles, turning back around. I go to the fridge to pour myself a glass of orange juice, then sit down at the table to wait for the pancakes to finish cooking.

"So you two had sex, then?"

And _out _goes the sip of orange juice I just took. "What?"

"You look like someone made you smile and your face got stuck that way," Kyla comments dryly, and I quickly rid myself of the grin that was _still _on my face. God, she's right.

"Maybe we did and maybe we didn't," I say cryptically.

"What happened to waiting until her birthday?"

"Well, it's not like her family would've found out as long as we weren't at her house, anyway," I reply, cringing a moment later when Kyla shoots me a triumphant look. "You better not tell her I told you," I threaten.

"So how was it?" Kyla asks, grabbing two plates and then joining me at the table with our pancakes.

"Good," I reply nonchalantly, and Kyla raises an eyebrow at me. Okay, so maybe she can tell I'm trying extremely hard to spare the details right now. I feel like I might burst if I open my mouth again.

"I take it that's code for 'amazing' or 'perfect'?" Kyla guesses, and I just keep my lips pressed together and nod enthusiastically. "Who topped?"

"Kyla!" I chastise, flushing. "I'm not telling you _that_."

We both look over at the stairs when we hear someone coming down them, and I grin widely at a sleepy Spencer who is fully dressed and rubbing at her eyes. When she lowers her hands and spots us, her eyes go straight to me and a smile spreads across her face. "Hey," she says, almost shyly, and it's so adorable that I can't help but grin back, even though Kyla will probably make fun of me later.

"Hey. Do you want some breakfast?" I ask, gesturing towards the pancakes, and Spencer wordlessly takes the seat next to me while I go to get her a plate. I can tell she wants to talk about last night, and apparently Kyla can too, because my half-sister makes some lame excuse and then leaves the room, taking her plate and pancakes with her. "Here you go," I offer to Spencer, sitting her plate down in front of her, and she murmurs a thanks when I give her a fork, too. "So…are you…how are you?" I wince, and Spencer giggles at the expression on my face.

"Happy," she finally says.

"Me too," I agree, and Spencer pulls me in for a kiss, then reaches over to take my hand. I hate that I kind of have to ruin this. "…Your parents called me last night when you didn't answer your cell. Looking for you, probably."

Spencer frowns at that. "Oh, yeah. They're probably freaking."

"I'm guessing they know you're here, though. Or at least they're assuming you're here."

"Where else would I be?" Spencer points out, nodding her agreement. We're both silent for a moment. "So…" Spencer clears her throat, and I just stare at her, wondering if she's waiting for me to say something. "I just…are we okay?"

"Well…are _you _okay?"

"Of course," Spencer says hastily. "I just…didn't know how you would feel after sleeping on…on everything that happened…and I woke up and you weren't there, so…"

"I'm sorry," I tell her, squeezing her hand. "I laid there for a while and I tried to wake you up but you were completely out of it, so I decided to go downstairs and see what Kyla was doing." I offer her my cell phone. "You should call your parents, though, so that we know ahead of time whether or not they're extending your grounding for not coming home."

"What if they are?" Spencer asks, accepting the phone.

"Then I won't return you until Sunday night."

She smiles over at me as she presses a few buttons, then lifts the phone to her ear and waits for either Paula or Arthur to pick up. From the sound of things on Spencer's end of the conversation, it's Paula.

"Hey mom, it's-…at Ashley's, why?" She pauses to wait for her mom to speak. "_Okay_, I know, but it's no big deal. We just-…what?!" I shoot her a curious look, but Spencer doesn't look at me, and I can hear Paula yelling on the other end of the line, but I'm too far away to make out what she's saying. "Mom! It's not…listen to me! It's _not _mine. Glen must've put it there…I don't _know _why…ugh! No, I'm staying here…I don't care!" There's more yelling on the other end, and Spencer glares into the phone for a moment, then closes it and hands it back to me roughly. I try not to look too confused or curious, and Spencer leans forward, resting her head in her hands and letting out a loud sigh.

"Um…what happened?" I chance, and Spencer is quiet for a moment. When she finally raises her head, her face is red and she looks like she doesn't know whether to shout or cry.

"My mom found pot in my room."

It takes me a second to process this, and when I finally do, my voice comes out meek, mostly because I'm surprised that Spencer would do stuff like that without telling me. "Okay, well…I mean, _I've _done worse than that, so pot really isn't that bad."

Spencer stares at me incredulously, then blurts out, "Ash, I don't smoke pot."

"Oh." Well, this is awkward. "But then how did it get into your room?"

"That's what I was saying to my mom. Glen must've put it there. Mom knows you kind of have a rough past, and she's going to think you're the reason I'm supposedly smoking pot, and then I won't be allowed to be friends with you anymore."

"I thought you already weren't allowed," I point out, and Spencer sighs.

"That's different. Before, my mom didn't approve. Now, it's totally out of the question. And even with my dad on my side, how are we supposed to prove Glen put it there?"

"Oh, I'll get it out of him," I tell her, standing up and already raising one hand to crack my knuckles, but Spencer stands up quickly, giving me a pointed look.

"No, you won't."

"Why not?"

"Because the last thing you need to do is give my mom an even bigger excuse to make me stay away from you. And picking a fight with my brother will do just that."

"Then what are we supposed to do?"

"I don't _know_," Spencer groans out.

"Why don't we just frame him back?" I suggest. "Plant drugs in his room or something."

"Mom'll just think _I _put them in there," Spencer says bitterly, crossing her arms. "Anyway, we can't talk about this right now. My mom wants me home and she knows I'm with you. She's freaking out."

"I thought you weren't going to go home."

"I know, but if I go home I can get this over with and then I can find out what to do about Glen. I'm guessing he'll want something in exchange for admitting he planted the pot. Otherwise he would've used something way worse to get me in more trouble. So once I can figure out what he wants, I can find a way around it, and get him to confess at the same time."

She leans over and kisses me on the cheek, then adds, "I'm going to ask Kyla for a ride home, since it's probably best if you didn't show up at my house right now."

"Right," I reply with as much enthusiasm I can muster at the moment, which isn't really very much. "Good…luck…" I trail off as Spencer hurries off in the direction Kyla left without as much as a goodbye or a wave. "Last night was one of the most amazing nights of my life, but that's okay, you go ahead. I'll find something to do today." And now I'm talking to myself.

* * *

I don't hear from Spencer on Sunday, and she doesn't come to school on Monday.

"What do you think's going on?" I ask Kyla at lunch, trying to seem nonchalant because Aiden's with us and he doesn't know anything about what's going on with Spencer. She filled Kyla in on the way back to her house on Saturday, according to Kyla herself.

"Relax, Ash. Her mom's just probably grilling her all day today and wouldn't let her come to school."

"Paula's going to think it's my fault, though," I insist, dropping the calm act and sliding my tray away from me. Honestly, I'm too worried to be hungry. "What if she tries to keep Spencer away from me?"

"What could she possibly do?" Kyla replies, scoffing.

"What are you two even talking about?" Aiden cuts in curiously, and I roll my eyes in his direction.

"Go ahead. Tell him," I say to Kyla, standing up to go put my tray up. That's it; I'm going to Spencer's.

* * *

Glen answers the door, and I notice there are three cars in the Carlins' driveway, which means Spencer's whole family has stayed home today. Probably for some kind of intervention.

"Ashley," he says matter-of-factly, smiling down at me. "Just the person I wanted to talk to."

"What the hell's wrong with you?" I ask him as he steps outside and shuts the front door behind him. "I know you planted that stuff in Spencer's room to get her in trouble."

"I did," he admits. "And now my mom thinks you gave it to her. So you have two options: things can go on the way they are now, and there's a big chance my mom will force Spencer to switch schools. She wants her to go to a private school that this kid from our church goes to. Or…you can agree to stop seeing my sister, and I'll admit to putting the pot in Spencer's room and take the rap for it."

"Let me inside," I command, ignoring him and shoving past him towards the door, but he grabs my arm and doesn't let go.

"You're not getting in."

"I'm not breaking up with Spencer," I tell him frankly, ripping my arm from his grip once he's pulled me away from the door.

"Then she's switching schools."

"What about your dad? And we only have a month left until the school year's over. What's the point of switching schools?"

"To get her away from you, of course. And after that, she'll be going to college, anyway. Dad doesn't think Spencer smokes pot but he can't really do anything about it with mom as angry as she is."

"Making Spencer switch schools isn't going to stop us from seeing each other."

"The private school is halfway across LA. If she switches, we're moving."

* * *

When I pull up to Spencer's house again later that night, the headlights of my car are off, and luckily, so are the lights of her house, which means her whole family must be asleep. After I've parked across the street, I get out and sneak over to the side of the house, easily finding Spencer's window. Now to find some pebbles.

There aren't any nearby, but I do see a few acorns, so I grab a few of those and toss one up in the direction of her window. The thing is, I suck at sports, and my aim is terrible.

It takes me about ten tries and three different scavengings for acorns, but I finally throw one hard enough for it to hit Spencer's window, and maybe thirty seconds later, the window opens and Spencer peeks out, rubbing her eyes for a moment as her eyes scan the ground. I grin up at her, waving, and she smiles back, then holds out one finger and disappears from the window.

I'm still staring up at it obliviously two minutes later, until I hear a soft "Boo!" from just beside me, and Spencer is left to laugh at me while I try to force my heart to stop pounding so fast. I shove her playfully, but she pulls me in for a hug and rests her chin on my shoulder, sighing beside my ear.

"Mom didn't let me go to school today, and she took my phone so I couldn't call or text you," she tells me, sighing right beside my ear.

"I talked to Glen," I reply, pulling away so I can look at her face.

"You did? When? He wouldn't tell me anything."

"I stopped by earlier today, but he wouldn't let me come inside. You were right; he said he'd admit to planting the pot, but he wants us to stop seeing each other."

Spencer lets out a dry laugh. "We're not doing that."

"We can pretend," I suggest.

"Glen has basketball lackeys everywhere at our school," Spencer reminds me. "They can practically give him daily reports."

"Well, you can't move," I point out. "And I don't want you switching schools."

"It'd just be for a month. Once I'm eighteen I can do whatever I want."

"Then we 'break up' for a month," I suggest. "We pretended to be just friends when we first got back to school, after Christmas Break. We can do it for one month, we'll go to prom, you'll turn eighteen, and then you can move in with me. Plus, you can't let your mom think I gave you drugs."

Spencer nods, but it's reluctant. "I'm just sick of pretending. I have to do it enough around my mom, anyway, and I'd rather do the long-distance thing as a real couple than have to do what we did when we were first together."

"Trust me, we'll have plenty of time to do long-distance," I tell her, cupping her cheek and brushing my thumb across it gently. She leans into me just enough for our lips to meet, and we kiss for a moment until I have to pull away for air. "Plus…this way Glen gets in trouble."

"That's true. I remember when I used to be mom's favorite, though." She sighs. "Now Glen is, and he probably won't even get in that much trouble."

"Yet your mom will _still _hate me," I point out.

"Let's do this every night," Spencer proposes suddenly, smiling at me.

"Meet outside and discuss whether or not to break up?"

"Meet outside and spend time together as a _couple_," Spencer corrects, kissing me again. When her hands slide down my sides and I feel her fingers dip into the sides of my jeans, though, I have to pull away, as well as smother a laugh.

"Spencer, it's freezing out!"

"I'll warm you up," she teases, winking, and I roll my eyes at her, wrapping my arms around myself protectively.

"That sounds nice, but I think I want to wait until it's not this cold outside before you steal away my innocence."

Spencer scoffs. "What innocence?"

"No idea. But I have to go," I reply quickly, glancing over at Spencer's house. "You should get inside before anyone notices you're gone."

She looks disappointed, but wraps her arms around me and kisses me one last time. "I'll tell Glen that we decided to break up."

"Good. Or…not good, but, you know, as opposed to the other…" I pause. "Will you be at school tomorrow?"

"Hopefully."

* * *

When Spencer gets out of Glen's car the next morning, it doesn't take her long to find me standing beside my car in my usual parking spot. Instead of coming over here, though, like she usually does, she just throws a quick wink my way and waves at me when Glen isn't watching, then turns and heads inside.

Glen's the one who _does _come over here, and he's all-business about this whole breaking up thing.

"If you two think-"

"I know, I know…you have people watching, so we can't sneak around or you'll find out," I tell him dryly. "Can we skip to the important stuff?"

"Alright." Glen clears his throat and crosses his arms. "I pretty much snuck Spencer to school this morning so that you two could have a practice day, and I'm owning up to mom this afternoon about the pot, but only if you two keep your promise, starting this morning. If I find out you're continuing to see Spencer behind my back, I'm telling mom about you two. Make sure you pass that on to Spencer."

"Fine," I say haughtily, crossing my arms too.

"Fine."

* * *

"I had no idea our relationship was such a big deal to everyone else," I mutter to Spencer as we walk down the hall, _not _holding hands for the first time in a while. We're getting a lot of weird looks. A thought strikes me suddenly, and I turn to Spencer, pausing in the middle of the hallway. "Oh my God. If Carmen starts hitting on you and trying to be friends again, I'll seriously run her over with my car in the school parking lot."

Spencer laughs, rolling her eyes. "Ash, Carmen and I are done. I'm not talking to her anymore. She even quit prom committee."

"Well at least now that she's quit, I know she has a brain," I point out, grinning. Spencer glares at me. "Sorry. April 30th, I'm totally there. Promise."

"I've been thinking about that, actually…" Spencer starts.

"You don't want to go with me?" I ask tentatively, not sure whether I should be happy about that or not, since prom isn't really my thing. But I was actually starting to warm up to the idea a little bit.

"Of course I do," she retorts, rolling her eyes and lowering her voice. "But, obviously, we can't go together in front of my mom, and she's going to want to get pictures of me with my date and everything. So I was thinking maybe she'd fall for Aiden being my date, and you and Kyla going together as sisters or something."

I can't help laughing at that. "Well, she does think I'm a complete freak for being gay, so I don't know, she'd probably actually buy it. Me going to prom with my sister…" My face falls all of a sudden. "Aiden?"

Spencer shoots me look that tells me not to be stupid. "Who else can we get, Ash? Besides, he's way too into your sister to still like me, in case you haven't noticed."

"I _haven't _noticed," I point out.

"Right. Well, he's the only guy available at the moment, unless you want to drag Kyla's friend Chelsea _and _her friend Sean into this, too. And then Sean would have to be my date or something and Chelsea would have to pretend to be gay and be yours and it would just be way too weird. So Aiden and I, and Kyla and you, is really the only option."

"I'll talk to Kyla about it," I concede, and Spencer grins at me.

"Good. Ask her if she can take me shopping for a dress sometime soon, too. Only three weeks until prom!"

"Yay," I add half-heartedly.

* * *

"Okay, prom's going to suck," is the first thing Spencer says to me the next day, and, needless to say, I'm a little confused.

"Um…why?"

"Because Glen's going."

"Yeah, I know. With Madison. They're going to be too busy making out somewhere to pay attention to you and me, Spence."

"No, he _was _going to go with Madison. _Now_, after he confessed to putting the pot in my room, my parents' punishment is to make him chaperone instead. So now he's going to be at prom, but he'll be serving punch with a perfect view of the dance floor."

"But your dad-"

"Is taking a backseat to my mom again. And trust me, if you could see how often she screams nowadays, you wouldn't mess with her, either. She went off on Glen for half an hour straight yesterday."

"Good," I emphasize. "He deserved it."

"No, bad. Because now we can't go to prom together."

"Spencer," I whine, shaking my head at her pleadingly. "You turn eighteen a week after prom. So if Glen tells your mom when he sees us at prom together, you can crash at my place for a few days, and then you'll be an adult and you can do whatever you want without her stopping you. I know how much you want to go…" Spencer raises an eyebrow at me. "…and Kyla kind of bought me this dress a couple days ago without asking and it looks really good on me and I don't want to waste it on fake prom night with Kyla the whole time. Plus there's no way you're going with _Aiden_."

"I'm not going with Aiden," Spencer agrees. "I just might not go at all."

"But I have to go now, and I need a date." I pout at her, knowing she can never say no to me when I do. "Please, Spencer?" I remember to lower my voice at the last second, and now I'm kind of wishing I'd been to more basketball games, that way I'd know who was on the team, because those are the guys that are going to be spying on us for Glen. "Go to prom with me. Your mom can think you're going with Aiden, like you said, and I can even rent a room somewhere afterwards if you want…"

Spencer smirks at me, and then crosses her arms. "Ash, are you actually asking me to go to prom with you?"

I frown at her. "No. You're going. That's an order."

"You were totally asking."

"Think what you want," I retort, rolling my eyes, "but you're still going."

* * *

We're sitting at lunch, explaining the prom idea to Kyla and Aiden, when a tap on my shoulder startles me right out of the conversation. I hardly talk to anyone besides the three people sitting with me at this table, so this means someone's probably come to tell me I'm in trouble for something.

Or not.

I'm not on a first-name basis with many people. And by that, I mean that I really don't even like hardly anyone enough to actually ask them what their name is. So the fact that I know this girl's name is already kind of a big deal.

It's Sam, and she's in my third period, the class I have right before lunch. I talk to her sometimes, but she's really shy, and she told me she doesn't have many friends, which I can totally relate to. She also told me she's gay, though, and I'm kind of the person she comes to for advice on what to do about it. As far as I know, she's not out, so I'm not sure why she would want to be seen talking to me in plain view of everyone in the lunchroom.

"Hey," I say brightly, because she's actually one of the few decent people at King High and I really _do _like her. Not in the way I like Spencer, of course, but she's still cool to talk to when I don't feel like paying attention in class. Which is every day. "What's up?"

"Well, um…I actually heard you were single, so…"

My first instinct is to feel a little bad for her, because she's really sweet and she's asking me out even though nobody else knows she's gay, which must mean she really thinks I'm special. But then I realize that I kind of like this whole 'being asked out' thing and I could totally get used to the idea of dating if I didn't already have Spencer to spend the rest of my life with.

Crap. Spencer.

I glance over at her and see that her eyes are locked onto her food a little more intently than usual, and this is definitely my cue to let Sam down lightly. Still, someone besides Spencer is finally interested in me for something other than sex, and it's almost like this is the final nail in Old Ashley's coffin. I'm doing relationships and falling in love and having sex in beds, and now I'm getting asked out on dates by people that want to get to know me.

Overall, today is a pretty good day.


	35. Adjusting

When I pull up to Spencer's later that night, I park my car about a block down so that her family won't see it, then walk the rest of the way to her house and toss a few acorns up at her window. This is the third night in a row that I've done this, so my aim's a little better by now.

Spencer kisses me the second she's sure she's gotten outside without her family noticing, and I'm so caught off-guard that I stumble backwards a little bit. I expected her to at least _say _something to me first.

It's silent outside except for the occasional cricket or owl and the sound of heavy breathing and that little popping noise you hear when two people break a kiss, and I have to admit that I really don't mind things this way, especially with the way Spencer has me pulled flush against her and her fingers are sliding up and down my back above my shirt in this possessive way that tells me the whole Sam thing bugged her more than she let on.

I'm up against the side of Spencer's house before I can figure out how she got me there, and I can feel a moan trying to escape me as Spencer's mouth leaves mine and she presses her lips to my neck, licking and sucking and even nibbling a little. There's this underlying aggressiveness in every move she's making and it's actually super sexy, since I've never seen Spencer like this before. I make a mental note to remind her to do this every night when I come over, because it's definitely a pleasant way to greet me.

Her hand slips under my shirt and I realize she doesn't intend to just make out with me for a couple of minutes. Really, Spencer? Against the side of your house?

Apparently, because Spencer's just unclasped my bra and pushed it out of the way and her hands all over my upper body, and it feels so good that I just can't think anymore.

* * *

We're lying out in the grass of Spencer's backyard with clothes beneath us half an hour later, and I'm pretty much naked, while Spencer's still hovering over me without a shirt on. She looks nervous when I finally manage to open my eyes, and she chews on her bottom lip while I try to get myself to start thinking clearly again. She's totally different now compared to how she was just a few minutes ago; more like the Spencer I'm used to. I always thought the first time Spencer touched me, she'd be all hesitant and uncertain and I'd have to guide her, but this wasn't like that at all. It was much better.

"Was I…was it okay?"

I smile up at her and grab her left hand, the one that wasn't just between my legs, and kiss all of her fingertips gently before lacing our fingers together. "The best," I tell her, and even in the dark I can see her blushing.

"You're just saying that."

"I'm not," I insist quietly, closing my eyes again as the ache I can still feel settles down to a dull throb. I pull the hand I'm still holding up to my chest and let Spencer's palm rest over my heart, which is still pounding quickly because I'm definitely ready for round two. "See? Feel."

"Okay," Spencer agrees with a giggle, and it doesn't take long for me figure out why she's laughing, because a second later her hand slips downwards and squeezes my boob instead. I'm not sure what kind of reaction she was expecting, but it was most certainly not for me to moan and push forward into her hand. My breathing's still labored by the time her smile has faded and we're both just staring at each other. After a moment, I clear my throat.

"It's kind of cold out here."

Spencer's blush is back in a second because I've reminded her that I'm naked, and she scrambles off of me quickly, looking around for her shirt while I sit up and look around to make sure nobody saw us. I have to admit that I didn't expect this to be where I'd feel Spencer inside of me for the first time, but the fact that the whole thing was completely spontaneous is kind of a turn-on.

"You should jump me more often," I tell her as I'm tugging my shirt back on. Spencer's watching me, already fully dressed. She looks like my suggestion embarrasses her.

"I don't normally do stuff like that," she admits shyly.

"I know," I remind her, a little upset because now I'm trying not to think of all the other people that got a chance to have sex with Spencer before I did.

I wonder if it's hard for Spencer to not think those same kinds of thoughts about all the people I've slept with, too.

* * *

"Okay, so not dating you really isn't working out for me," I tell Spencer in the middle of lunch one day, right in front of Kyla and Aiden, who look amused at my confession. "How much longer are we doing this?"

"Just until prom," Spencer replies. "Which reminds me…" She turns to Kyla. "…I was wondering if I could borrow your boutonnière, just for show. Because of my mom."

"Her what?" I repeat, raising an eyebrow.

"It's the thing girls pin onto guys' tuxes before prom," Kyla elaborates. "And sure, you can borrow it, Spencer, as long as I get to take it off once we're in the limo and put it back on myself."

"Does that mean I'm going to have to put a corsage on Spencer?" Aiden asks through a mouthful of food, and I wince, cringing away from the spray as Kyla nods at him.

"So anyway," I say, changing subjects as I turn back to Spencer. "Enough about prom. What's Glen been like these past couple weeks?"

"Suspicious," Spencer replies easily. "But he knows the first thing I do every morning is go straight to school, and then I come straight home and spend every afternoon under his watch until we go to bed. And I haven't been out on weekends, either, except for when he let me go with Kyla to get a dress for prom. So there's really no time for us to be hanging out without him realizing it. As far as he knows, anyway."

"What are you two doing, exactly?" Kyla asks us curiously. "I'm pretty sure Ashley would have holed herself up in her room and spent the past two and a half weeks crying if you _actually _stopped seeing each other."

"I sneak out every night after you fall asleep," I tell her quietly, unable to keep the smugness out of my tone. I'm choosing to ignore her statement, mostly because it's the truth.

"We're losing a lot of sleep, but it's worth it," Spencer adds, smothering a yawn at that moment for emphasis. "The only downside is that I'm usually a morning person, so I have to act all perky for Glen all the time."

I look over at her incredulously. "Spencer, you are _so _not a morning person."

"Sure I am," Spencer retorts, raising an eyebrow. "I was up before you almost every morning back when you were staying with us."

"Yeah, but what about when _you _stayed over at _my _house and I tried to wake you up but you wouldn't-"

"That was different," Spencer cuts in quickly, and I can tell she's fighting off a blush. I smirk at her. "And you know it."

Aiden and Kyla pretend like they're not listening to our conversation, and Spencer raises an eyebrow at me as I glance around the lunchroom. Nobody's looking at us as far as I can tell, so I walk my fingers up Spencer's arm flirtatiously, watching her eyebrow arch up even higher. "Mind if I come over tonight?" I ask her quietly.

"You come over every night whether you ask or not," she points out, glancing down at my hand and then at the people closest to us, like she's afraid they're going to see us. We haven't shown any affection in public in what feels like forever, though, and Glen's probably too stupid to actually catch us anyway, so I lean forward and press my lips to Spencer's lightly, surprising her. She kisses back for about a millisecond, then pushes me away, and I have to admit that it hurts my feelings a little bit. "Ash, not here."

I sigh. "Nobody's probably even watching us," I tell her, but I turn back to my food anyway. After a few minutes of silence, I rest my hand on the bench, between Spencer and me, then slowly start to slide it over towards Spencer. The second it touches her thigh, though, she slaps it away, and I have to withdraw it quickly and cradle it to my body. "Ow!"

"Not here," Spencer replies emphatically, shooting me a significant look, and I stick my tongue out at her, feeling playful. I can totally win this game.

"Pleeeeease?" I murmur, letting my lips brush against her ear, and Spencer blushes, but doesn't slap my hand away again when I slide it onto her thigh. "…I can do that thing you like tonight…"

"I have to go to the bathroom," Spencer says quickly, standing up all of a sudden and hurrying from the lunchroom before she can succumb to my almighty flirting powers.

"I don't get why you do that to her," Kyla sighs out, rolling her eyes at me while I smirk back at her. Aiden's busy wiping the drool from the corner of his mouth. "Aiden and I don't find it that hard to keep our hands off of each other."

"Because you can hang out and have sex whenever you want. Plus, my time with Spencer is limited with her going to that college, and the only time I have to spend alone with her is at midnight every night. You'd be all over each other, too." I stand up and wave goodbye to them, pushing both my tray and Spencer's towards them in a silent message to put them up for us. "Now if you don't mind, I have to go find Spencer. Kyla, tell Mrs. Yorke that Spencer and I are going to be a little late for class today, kay?"

"You're so gross," Kyla replies, wrinkling her nose at me, but I just roll my eyes and head off to go find that bathroom.

* * *

I'm sitting with Spencer in the grass later that night, just holding hands with her and letting her rest her head on my shoulder, when she points out, "We've progressed to the bathroom stage."

I wince, turning to look down at what part of her face I can see. "At least it was only making out."

Spencer squeezes my hand. "Yeah. Is it still different?"

"I still love you. I didn't love them."

Spencer's silent for a moment, and I chew on my bottom lip anxiously. "Out here under the stars is nice and all, but I want to wait until we have a bed to do it again."

"Okay," I agree immediately. "I'm renting a room for prom night. Do you think we could get away with it?"

Spencer lets out a small laugh. "Maybe. My dad will know exactly what's going on, but it's hard to say whether or not he'll approve. Mom should be cool with it, though, as long as she thinks I'm going off and having sex with a guy."

I laugh, too. "That's so awful."

_"She's _so awful."

"She would give my mom a run for her money," I agree. "Like a 'Worst Mom Ever' Olympics."

"Event one: insulting your daughter," Spencer adds on. "Irresponsible."

I let out a quiet sigh, hoping Spencer can't hear it. "I can top that. Dyke."

"She said that to you?" Spencer asks incredulously.

"Yeah. When she first found out." I pause. "Is it okay if I don't let you meet her?"

"Yeah," Spencer agrees, nodding with her head still on my shoulder. She chews on her bottom lip for a moment, then finally comes up with, "Immature."

"Stupid," I offer dryly.

"Lazy."

"Spoiled brat."

"…Stubborn."

I smile. "You _are _stubborn."

"It's still an insult," Spencer defends.

"Alright. Um…slut."

"You're not a slut," she says softly.

"Not anymore."

"No, not ever." Spencer sits up and smiles at me, then kisses me gently for a moment. "You just needed someone to straighten you out."

"Interesting choice of words," I reply, raising an eyebrow, and Spencer's eyes twinkle with amusement as she leans in to kiss me again.

We've had sex out here a few times in the past three weeks, but this isn't one of those kinds of kisses, where we both know that that's where it's going. It's just soft and sweet and I don't want it to end.

But it does. Because someone has walked around to the side of Spencer's house and is shining an extremely bright flashlight right into our faces. My heart starts going double-time as Spencer and I hastily pull away from each other and raise our hands to cover our faces.

Don't be Paula. Please don't be Paula. Not with just a little over a week left until Spencer turns eighteen.

"I _knew _it. I fucking _knew _it. I knew you two had to be doing _something _behind my back." I recognize Glen's voice before he shuts the flashlight off so I can actually see him, and before me and Spencer have time to recover, he's marched over to us and pulled Spencer to her feet, grasping her wrist tightly and drawing her to him so forcefully that it scares both of us a little. "That's it. I'm telling mom. You're done."

"Let go of her!" I order, storming over to them and prying his hand off of Spencer's before he can stop me, but instead of letting me tug her away from him, Spencer's right back in front of Glen again, trying to reason with him.

"Please don't, Glen, I'm telling her right after I turn eighteen anyway," she says, completely calm now, and I'm surprised by her tone at first, but then I realize that recently Spencer hasn't seemed too freaked out about her mom actually _finding out_. She just hasn't wanted Glen to be the one to tell.

"No you're not," Glen retorts immediately, and Spencer crosses her arms at that.

"Yes, I am. I want to be the one to tell her, and if you're going to do it right now, then go ahead and let me know, because I'll do it instead."

Glen works his jaw back and forth furiously for a moment, then chucks the flashlight at a nearby tree without warning in what I think is an attempt to rid himself of some anger. It hits the tree and breaks, but nobody flinches. We stand here in silence for over a minute while Spencer and I wait for him to reply, and the cogs are turning in my head even though I'm not sure what Spencer's thinking right now.

"You weren't _actually _going to tell, were you?" I say before I can stop myself, and both Carlins are immediately focused on me. Glen is stammering out an answer, suddenly embarrassed, and I cross my arms smugly. "You're all talk."

"You two can't do this," he snaps all of a sudden. "Look. I've been working my ass off trying to keep our family together, and you know it, Spencer. Mom and Dad are arguing about Ashley constantly, Mom's freaking out because your best friend's gay, you're sneaking out all the time, and I'm not even talking about the nightly outings you two have apparently been going on…"

"This was the first one," Spencer lies smoothly.

"It doesn't _matter_." He points at me accusingly. "_She's _the problem. I'm fixing it. You can't be friends with her anymore, Spencer, and you definitely aren't allowed to date her."

"It's not that simple, Glen. I'm in love with her."

"_No_. Okay? You say that all the fucking time, and I'm sick of it. She's a girl and you're a girl and you're _not _in love with her."

"Um…I think she just said that she _was_…" I cut in, but Spencer shoots me a look that tells me this is between her and Glen, and I back away a bit sheepishly.

"Look. I'm sorry if this is hard for you to…to accept, or understand, but Ashley's not going anywhere, Glen."

"So that's it, then?" Glen asks flatly, gesturing towards me with one hand. "You're going to be gay."

"It's not a choice."

"I have a gay sister," he continues, ignoring Spencer's comment.

"Are you ashamed of that?" she questions, and Glen glares at her like what she's asking is ridiculous.

"I don't give a shit about what you want to do with your life. Just don't screw up mine. If you want to go against everything we've grown up learning, and compromise all of your morals, then whatever. Have fun getting kicked out by mom in a week or two. And don't expect me to be there for you when you realize you took a friendship with some screwed-up chick too far and made out with her a couple times."

Spencer's eyebrows furrow, and she says, "Dad and Clay were fine with this, you know. I don't see what your problem is."

That startles him out of being angry for a moment, and Glen's quiet for a while. "…Dad and Clay know?"

"I thought you knew that. You kept threatening to just tell Mom, so…"

Glen sighs, running a hand through his hair. "Because I figured she'd be the angriest, but…how long has Dad known?"

"Two months. Maybe longer."

Spencer's told me before that the only person Glen looks up to more than Paula is Arthur, so it doesn't surprise me when this completely throws him for a loop. "…And he's okay with it?"

"You've heard him defending Ashley," Spencer points out. "He knows how much I care about her." She pauses, and then adds, "You don't have to like it, but this is who I am now. I'm sorry if you feel like you have to fix me before Mom finds out, but the fact is, I _am _going to tell her, she _is _probably going to kick me out, and then I'm planning on living with Ashley for the summer whether Mom kicks me out or not. Then I'll go to college, and if anyone asks, I'm going to tell them I'm into girls, because I am. You can't do anything to change it, and neither can anyone else." She takes a deep breath. "And Ash is not a problem, so don't talk about her like she's something you have to fix or get rid of."

Glen's eyes are closed now, like he's trying to calmly take all of this in. "Did he ever say _why _he was okay with it?"

"He never gave me a specific reason, if that's what you mean…but maybe you could talk to him about it. _Without _including Mom," Spencer suggests.

"I don't understand this," Glen blurts out suddenly, his eyes darting back and forth between us. "I could never fall in love with a guy."

"Then you know how I feel," Spencer points out, smiling brightly, and Glen tries to keep his face stoic, but I can see the corners of his lips fighting to upturn.

"So…like, if all my guy friends are busy and I need to talk about hot chicks with someone…"

"I'm right here," Spencer finishes lightly, and I can't suppress a snicker. She glances at me briefly, winking, and Glen eyes her curiously for another moment. "And Ash can teach you how to become the master of one-night stands."

"Hey!" I interrupt, even though I know she's kidding. "I've probably forgotten most of the tricks by now, anyway."

Glen looks me up and down for a moment while Spencer laughs, and then points in a random direction and commands, "Alright, go home. I need time to let this sink in, and if I catch you here again after midnight, I'm seriously going to tell our mom."

"Can I kiss Spencer goodnight?" I ask, majorly testing my luck.

"Absolutely not. You're lucky you aren't already dead."

"Bye," I reply quickly, giving Spencer a quick wave and then hurrying towards the road so I can walk the block to my car.

I spend the drive home wondering if Spencer seriously expects me to teach Glen how to get chicks.


	36. Prom

"He's not _that _bad…I guess…"

It's Friday night, prom is Saturday night, and I'm stuck here with Spencer and Glen in the middle of Gray's, seated at a booth and people-watching with both Carlins in a manner that is reminiscent of my own plan to help Spencer figure out her sexuality. Only this time, it was Glen's idea, and he's basically doing the opposite of what I did.

"Okay, so what would be wrong with dating him?"

Spencer mumbles something under her breath, and it's hard to hear over the boom of the music.

"What?"

"He's a _guy_!" she says loudly enough for the both of us. "It's just weird, Glen."

Glen's eyebrows furrow, but then he nods towards the door again a moment later. "Him?"

"It's the same thing. They're all guys."

"But how can you write them _all _off if you haven't even met-?"

"How can _you_?" Spencer retorts, crossing her arms.

"That's different," Glen stammers out. "Because girls start out liking guys _until _they decide to switch over. Normal guys never like guys."

"Stop it!" Spencer snaps, glaring at him. "It's _not _a choice, and I _am _normal. Get it?"

"I'm trying," Glen deadpans. "But this isn't working."

I'm watching them from across the table, slightly bored out of my mind here, because this is going nowhere and we're in a club but we're not doing any dancing or drinking, and I'm not really used to just sitting here in places like this. "Fine. I'll try to do this in a way you understand." Spencer switches sides and slides into the seat next to me so that we're side by side across from Glen, and I sit up straight, taking my palm off of my cheek and looking over at her curiously. It's about _time _things got interesting.

"Hot girl. Right?" Spencer asks, pointing at me. Glen looks suspicious, but nods. "Hot guy." She points at a random guy on the dance floor, and, speaking from the viewpoint of someone who used to be into that kind of thing, he _is _pretty good-looking. "Which do you like better?"

"Is this a trick question?" Glen asks. "Ashley, of course."

"Okay. Me too," Spencer replies, wrapping her arms around me and pressing our cheeks together. I can't help but smile. "Is it really that hard to understand?"

"Okay, but if _that _guy comes over here and flirts with one of us, it's going to be either of you, because guys and girls are supposed to like each other and he'll assume you're straight because that's what most people are."

"Now you see what we have to go through," I point out. "They'll assume, we'll have to tell them otherwise, and then they'll look at us hopefully like they want us to start making out. It never fails. So, if you don't mind backing off a little bit on the gay thing, it'd be nice. We have enough to worry about without you giving us shit about it all the time." Glen glares at me, and I add, "Aren't you supposed to like this kind of stuff, anyway?"

"Not if it's Spencer," he retorts sharply.

"Not even if it's _really _hot?" I tease.

"Spencer's not hot; she's my baby sister."

Spencer scoffs, reaching for my hand. "Come on, Ash. Let's go dance."

She's mumbling something along the lines of "Not hot? I'll show him…" as she pulls me onto the dance floor, and I'm still laughing by the time we've found a good spot and Spencer has tugged me forward and placed her hands on my hips. "What's so funny?"

"You and Glen have got the whole sibling rivalry thing down," I tell her, watching Glen glare at us from across the club. Spencer follows my gaze, then smirks at me and slides a hand to the back of my neck. She doesn't even have to pull me forward to get me to kiss her, though.

Glen's beside us in a second, pulling us apart before things can get too heavy, and then he's practically dragging us out of the club by our arms, ignoring our protests and attempts to pull away the entire time.

"We're going home."

"You can't tell me what to do. I'm almost eighteen, and Ash _is _eighteen. We're adults, too."

"I don't really care how old you are. You'll always be younger than me." He lets go of me all of a sudden, but continues to drag Spencer forward until I catch her other hand and hold her in place.

"I'm not letting go," I promise when Glen is forced to stop in his tracks, and Spencer looks a little nervous about possibly being ripped in half by the two of us.

"I'm taking her home. Let go," Glen commands, tugging on Spencer's hand experimentally.

"Uh…_no_," I emphasize, tugging right back, and Spencer lets out a tiny nervous squeak. I shoot her an apologetic look. "You let go. She's _my _girlfriend."

"Yeah, well she's _my _sister. I care about her way more than you do."

I laugh disbelievingly, unable to suppress it, and Spencer raises an eyebrow at Glen like she doesn't believe him either. "That's _so _not true."

"You're ruining her life," Glen argues, tugging.

"You're making it harder than it needs to be!" I retort with my own tug.

"She was completely normal before she met you!" Tug.

"She wasn't happy!" Tug.

"And you think she's happy _now_?" He pulls particularly hard and I stumble forward a little, but manage to keep my balance and responds with a sharp tug of my own.

"That's your fault, not mine. Everything would be perfect if it wasn't for you and _Paula_!"

"Don't you drag our mom into this."

"I didn't need to drag her; she stuck herself in the middle just fine on her own."

"And for a good reason! Look what's happened!"

"Oh? What?"

"Spencer makes friends with the gay girl, and now she's gay. It's not a coincidence."

"I didn't say it was."

"So you admit you turned her gay?"

"I didn't _do _anything, you're just-"

"Okay, stop!" Spencer intervenes, glaring at the both of us, and I'm a little taken aback. What did _I _do wrong? "Both of you let go of me, now!" We do, and Spencer rubs her arms for a moment, taking deep breaths like she's trying to calm herself down. "This is not okay. Glen, you're my brother, and Ashley's my girlfriend. You two are just going to have to learn to get along. You don't have to like each other, but you _do _have to tolerate each other."

Glen and I exchange glares for a moment, staring each other down while Spencer massages her temples. After a moment, Glen opens his mouth to say something, but Spencer cuts him off with, "This is _not _open for discussion." She turns towards me to see that I've started to say something, too. "Yes, Ash?"

"What?!" Glen cries incredulously. "That's total favoritism!"

"I was just wondering if I could have a goodnight kiss before Glen makes you go home," I say sweetly, and Spencer grins at me, but turns back to Glen without replying.

"Fine; I'll go home. But you have to go get the car so I can say goodnight to Ashley."

"Deal," Glen agrees, taking a ring of keys out of his pocket and twirling them around his finger. "If I come back here and you two are gone, I'm calling Mom and Dad."

"We'll be here," Spencer replies with a roll of her eyes, watching him walk away to go find where he parked.

I'm pulling her in for another kiss the second he's gone.

* * *

It takes me approximately two hours, seven minutes, and forty-three seconds to get ready for prom, which might sound like a while, but it's nothing on Kyla's four hours.

"I can't believe you're seriously putting all of this effort into looking good for _Aiden_," I tell her as she's just finishing up her hair, glancing over at the clock to make sure we aren't going to be late. "The limo's going to be here in fifteen minutes, you know."

"I'm almost ready," Kyla insists, scrambling across her bedroom to grab her shoes off of her bed. "Just give me a minute."

"We have to be at Spencer's by seven."

"I _know_, Ash. Just…one more thing…" She starts messing with her hair in the mirror again, and I roll my eyes and grab her wrist, leading her out of her room and then turning towards her when we're by the front door.

"Okay, how do I look?"

"Perfect. Me?" Kyla replies, doing a quick twirl, and I give her a thumbs up, grabbing her purse off of the coffee table and then handing it over to her.

"Alright. So we'll go to Aiden's first and pick him up, then head to Spencer's. Did you give her that thing she needed?"

"The boutonnière?"

"Yeah, whatever."

"Yup. She's got it."

"Awesome. Let's go."

* * *

Aiden's hair is slicked back and he's got your average black suit on, but for some reason Kyla still thinks he's adorable. I have to tolerate sitting alone in a limo with them for about ten minutes before we get to Spencer's house.

"Corsage?" I ask Aiden as we make our way to the front door.

"Check," he replies, showing it to me, and Kyla awes at how pretty she thinks it is.

I roll my eyes at them, and then point at their joined hands. "Hands?" They let go. "Okay, remember: you two have to act like you're just friends, and Aiden, you have to act like you're actually going with Spencer. But don't be too convincing," I warn him, and he raises his hands defensively.

"Relax, Ash. That's in the past now, and you know it."

"Whatever," I mutter, still not liking that I have to stand there and watch Paula fawn over Spencer and Aiden for the next five minutes.

Kyla rings the doorbell, and Arthur answers it a moment later, smiling down at us as he opens it wider to let us in. "Hi, you must be Kyla," he says to my sister, who nods and shakes hands with him. "I'm assuming you're all here to pick up Spencer?"

"Yup," I tell him, looking around to make sure Paula isn't within earshot. "Is she almost ready?"

"Almost," Arthur confirms, shooting me a knowing smile. "I want her back home safely tomorrow, okay?"

Tomorrow? Okay, Spencer's dad is officially the coolest person alive. "Definitely."

"Alright, here she comes!" Paula practically squeals as she heads down the stairs and stops at the bottom, grinning widely at us. I'm a little nervous now, because if Paula helped Spencer get ready, things can't be good. "She looks beautiful, Aiden. You two are going to have so much fun tonight!"

"Yeah…" Aiden agrees half-heartedly, and I elbow him in the side the second Paula looks away. He clears his throat. "Um…right. I can't wait to see her, Mrs. Carlin."

"Oh, call me Paula, sweetie."

Bitch.

She's got her camera ready a few seconds later, and I can hear Spencer call down from upstairs, "Mom! You don't have to make such a big deal out of this…"

"Spencer, get down here!" Paula retorts. "You didn't go to your junior prom in Ohio and I want to get plenty of pictures of this one!"

"It's embarrassing! _Glen _didn't have to wait until everyone got here to leave!"

"That's because he's being punished, honey!"

Spencer groans, and Kyla and I exchange smirks when we can all hear Spencer's footsteps from upstairs.

She's embarrassed the whole way down the stairs, and I have to remind myself several times not to stare, but it's especially hard when she can't take her eyes off of me, either. I'm pretty sure she even forgets for a second that Aiden's supposed to be her date for the night, but luckily, she comes to her senses by the time she's reached us, and tears her eyes away from me to place herself in front of Aiden instead.

He slips Kyla's corsage onto her wrist, and I can tell Kyla's getting kind of jealous. I know exactly how she feels a second later, though, because Spencer's pinning that thing on Aiden's chest and I'm secretly hoping it pokes him in the process. Paula looks like if she smiles any wider her head might explode, and Kyla and I are immediately forgotten in favor of snapping five-thousand pictures of Spencer and Aiden, who look way too awkward together to actually be a real couple. It's a good thing Paula doesn't notice.

Arthur finally wrestles the camera away from her and offers to take a few group photos, and I make sure I'm as close to Spencer as possible in the pictures. "You look beautiful," I whisper in her ear.

She blushes and murmurs that she can't wait to be alone with me tonight, and I'm officially ready to get the hell out of here and get prom over with so I can go to that hotel room with Spencer, but Arthur Carlin has one more trick up his sleeve.

"…And let's get one of just Spencer and Ashley," he suggests in this perfectly nonchalant way that only Arthur can pull off without making his wife suspicious, and Kyla and Aiden are out of the way before I can even hiss at them to move. Photo album, here we come.

After sneaking a few extra pictures of Spencer and I, Arthur takes a few of just Kyla and Aiden, because he's not an idiot and obviously if I'm Spencer's date, then chances are Kyla and Aiden are going together.

"Have fun!" Paula calls after us as we hurry out the front door, and we're not even to the limo yet before Spencer has handed Aiden his corsage back and Kyla has unpinned the boutonnière so she can put it on Aiden herself.

"Here you go," I offer to Spencer, showing her her _real _corsage, and she responds by producing one of her own and slipping it onto my wrist. I put hers on as we settle into the back of the limo, and Aiden lets out a sigh of relief when the vehicle starts to move again.

"It's a good thing we broke up, Spencer, because that was _way_ too awkward," he comments honestly, and Kyla kisses him on the cheek, while Spencer kisses me.

* * *

Prom is already in full swing by the time we get there, and the first thing Spencer and I do is go and get a prom photo taken. Kyla and Aiden head into the crowd to dance to some upbeat pop song I've never heard before, but I drag Spencer to a table before she can make the same suggestion.

"You don't want to dance?" she asks, pouting, and I glance across the gym at the punch bowl, which Glen is currently standing behind. He's watching us with a deep frown that tells me it's going to take him some time to get used to seeing me with Spencer.

"Maybe in a little while," I tell her, reaching over to squeeze her hand. We watch other people dance for a while, until I finally point out, "So your mom was being pretty nice to you back at your house. Did she apologize for not believing you?"

Spencer laughs dryly. "No. She isn't into that."

"Apologizing when she makes a mistake?"I ask, raising an eyebrow.

"Something like that," Spencer agrees, standing up. "I have to go the bathroom, but I'll be right back," she promises, and I wave her away overdramatically.

"Like I need you. Do you know how many people at this school would kill to dance with me?"

"I'm sure there are plenty," Spencer replies with a roll of her eyes, smiling at me before she turns to head off to the bathroom. Not even a second after she's gone, the current song ends and a slow one starts playing. And I'm sitting here alone like a complete loser. Great.

"Dance with me."

I raise an eyebrow at Glen, hiding my surprise when I see him standing in front of me, his hand extended.

"Aren't you supposed to be manning the punch bowl?"

"It'll be okay without me for a couple of minutes."

"I thought we'd already crossed this bridge. You're a _dude, _…dude."

He rolls his eyes, grabbing me anyway and pulling me to my feet. "Stop being stupid. I need to talk to you."

"Fantastic. My first dance at my senior prom is going to be with my date's older brother."

"You'll get over it. I want to talk about Spencer. If you're really planning on being with her-"

"_Please _don't tell me you're actually going to try and pull that 'protective big brother' shit on me after all the crap you've made me put up with," I cut in, wrapping my arms around his neck anyway. He puts his hands up high on my hips, in safe territory, so that I don't have an excuse to stop dancing with him.

"It's my job," he admits grudgingly. "And I suppose that the first step to treating you two like a real couple would be to threaten you about breaking her heart. At least I'm trying, alright?"

"But you don't want me with her," I comment.

"I don't," he confirms. "But you _are _with her, and as you two have proven, I can't control it."

"What if I was a guy?" I reply idly, and his hands tense at my sides. "Relax. I'm being hypothetical. Spencer's into girls anyway, and I quite enjoy being a lady, thank you very much."

Glen snorts quietly, shaking his head. "If you were a guy, we wouldn't be having this talk."

"Because there wouldn't be a problem with me dating her?"

"Because I wouldn't be dancing with you right now," he corrects, and I wrinkle my nose at him.

"That's offensive."

"And true," he adds.

"Where's Madison?" I ask, changing the subject before any kind of argument about being gay can ensue, and Glen shrugs in response, taking the bait.

"Somewhere around here. She dumped me a while back."

I raise an eyebrow. "How long is 'a while'?"

"Earlier this month. Does she still make fun of you and Spencer?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"I told her about what I was going to do with the pot to try and break you guys up, and she went all 'gay rights activist' on me and started talking about how you two probably go through all kinds of stuff that I don't even know about, and she said that it's people like me that are responsible for all the crap gays have to put up with."

"Wow," I manage to say, thinking back to the hairbrush incident where Madison pretty much watched Spencer break down right in front of her. "She hasn't acted any different towards us, though."

"Then she's a hypocrite," Glen replies, and we're both quiet for a while. I'm waiting for the song to end so I can go find Spencer.

"Thanks for fessing up," I finally say. "I know you could've just let Paula go on believing I gave Spencer drugs."

Glen shrugs. "She still doesn't like you anyway, so you didn't gain much ground."

I sigh, knowing he's right. "Yeah, well…she doesn't have to like me. Spencer's the only one who does."

"Unfortunately," Glen mumbles, and I scoff, pushing him away from me and stepping back.

"I think I hear the punch bowl calling you," I tell him, smirking, and Glen crosses his arms and nods noncommittally.

"Right. I can take a hint. Keep the PDA to a minimum, got it?"

"I'll try."

"Whatever."


	37. Locker Surprises

**A/N: Question: When I'm highlighting this chapter in Word, it says it's 3187 words long. But when I save it on here, it's over 3600 words (not counting this note). So where did the extra 500 words come from? Hmm...**

* * *

"If I'd known we were dancing with siblings first, I would've looked for Kyla when I came back from the bathroom, instead."

"Very funny," I mumble into Spencer's neck, nipping at it lightly while we sway to a slow song in the middle of the dance floor.

Her grip on my hips tightens just a little bit, and a second later she whispers into my ear, "Wanna get out of here?"

I laugh before I can stop myself, pulling away from her neck to rest my forehead against hers. Her eyes are dark, and I see a small smile forming on her lips. "We only just got here. And you spent all that time on prom committee, helping set all of this up. We shouldn't let it go to waste."

"I could say the same thing about that room key," she murmurs lowly, sending a small shiver down my spine.

"It's too early to leave," I insist even though every other part of me besides my mouth and my mind is protesting against what I'm saying. "And I want to dance with you some more."

Spencer raises an eyebrow. "Did I really hear Ashley Davies say she wants to stay at _prom _instead of letting me drag her off to a cozy hotel room?"

"I'm allowed one night to be weird," I tell her, and Spencer just smiles at me when I unhook my arms from behind her head and move one hand to her hip. My other hand rests on the back of her neck, and I kiss her gently, not missing the soft sigh she lets out when I pull away. "And we can leave in a little while. Until then, let me hold you."

"You're sweet."

"You're cute. And I love your eyes," I add the last part on out of nowhere, just because I'm looking into them at the moment and it's completely true.

"Well, _I _love…" She pauses to think for a moment, then smiles sheepishly when she sees me glaring at her. "Sorry. I can't pick one thing out."

"Thanks?" I say uncertainly.

"I meant it as a compliment," she assures me, still smiling. "Have I mentioned you look gorgeous?"

"Trying to dig yourself out of a hole?" I ask, amused, before resting my head on her shoulder and closing my eyes. "You may continue."

Spencer laughs lightly in my ear, and I can almost see her chewing on her bottom lip as she replies, "Yeah. You're just…" Her hand slides upwards from my hips to the top of my back, and when it comes back down, it's in the form of her lightly raking her nails down my back. Okay, the temperature in here officially just shot up. "The second I came downstairs and saw you earlier…God, sexy doesn't even begin to describe it. You looked…_look_…what do you call it when…when you see someone and you just _have _to have sex with them, as soon as possible?"

I let out a low chuckle, pretty confident that my voice has dropped a couple octaves. There's a word bouncing around in my head, but there's no way I'd say it to Spencer in public like this. "_Love_able?" I offer with a grin. "…For lack of a more appropriate word. Or…I guess, a more _inappropriate _wor-"

Spencer giggles, covering my mouth with her hand quickly. "If you don't stop, I'm really going to drag you out of here."

"Sorry?" I reply uncertainly, and Spencer just pulls me closer with a smile and kisses me softly. "Surprisingly, you guys did a pretty good job," I comment when we've separated a little again, looking around at the decorations and the large speakers. "It looks nice in here."

"Thank you. A few people wanted to do a theme, but we decided that was too cheesy."

"I thought prom was supposed to be cheesy."

"Well, hopefully this one isn't," Spencer replies. "I want things to be perfect."

"Aw, they already are. I'm here with you."

She raises an eyebrow. "Now _that _was cheesy."

"Yeah?" I ask, grinning.

"Definitely."

When the song ends, Spencer convinces me to let her sit down and take a break. Apparently, she's not as used to wearing heels as I am. Another slow song starts up, and we're sitting at our table, drinking punch (courtesy of Glen), when a hand unexpectedly grabs mine and pulls me to my feet. I barely have time to wave goodbye to Spencer before Aiden tugs me onto the dance floor and puts his hands on my hips.

"Hey, watch it," I warn him as I link my hands behind his neck, and he grins down at me, moving his hands a little higher.

"Sorry."

"At least Glen had the decency to ask," I point out, looking around us for any sign of my sister. "Where's Kyla?"

"She had to use the bathroom. I figured we should at least dance together _once_, and now was a good time."

"I'll dance with you five times as long as you don't touch Spencer," I tell him honestly, and he laughs my comment off, spinning me so suddenly that it leaves me feeling a little dizzy.

"Relax, Ash. You've got the possessive thing down, but unfortunately, that's a bad thing."

"I'm not possessive," I argue, hitting his arm lightly. "Just when it comes to _you _and her."

"I'm over that," he assures me. "I have been for a while." He lowers his voice like he's about to tell me a secret, then whispers, "I'm going to tell Kyla I love her tonight. Do you think she'll say it back?"

"You love her?" I repeat dumbly, and he hushes me before nodding. "This year has been so crazy."

"You're proof of that," he agrees, looking me up and down in a way that only Aiden can manage to pull off without looking like he's checking me out. "You've changed a lot."

"So have you," I point out, reaching up to fix his tie absentmindedly even as we're swaying to the song playing. "I do miss talking to you, though."

"Yeah, well…" He shrugs. "Spencer and Kyla are hard work."

I force a laugh, already busy thinking about what's going to happen when everyone graduates. If I _did _somehow manage to move in with Spencer, I'd still see Kyla occasionally, and if I stay with Kyla, I'll still see Spencer every weekend or so, but neither of those options includes seeing Aiden frequently. And he'll be busy with college, too. I hadn't even thought of what would happen to Aiden and I after high school.

"Do you think we'll stay friends?" I ask him all of a sudden. "After you graduate?"

He laughs my question off. "Of course, Ash. Now that we're both whipped and there aren't any girls for us to fight over, there's nothing to stop us from getting along."

"We could grow apart."

"We could. But I'm with your sister so you'll probably see plenty of me. By the time we're both old and wrinkly, we'll be sick of each other."

I laugh at that, leaning forward and resting my head on his chest. "Promise?" I know asking him this makes me sound childish, but I feel guilty about how we've treated each other this past year.

"That you'll get sick of me? Absolutely."

"Aiden?" I ask after a few moments of silence.

"Hmm?"

"Thanks for understanding. You know…about Spencer and me."

"It's cool. Besides, who has sore feet right now? Not me."

"She only stepped on my toes like once," I complain, and Aiden grins at me.

"Hey, that's one more time than Kyla's stepped on mine."

I smirk at him, and then dig my heel into his shoe.

"Ow!"

"Go find Kyla, Lover Boy. I'm gonna go sit with Spencer again."

Aiden rolls his eyes at me, and I give him a quick wave, ducking back into the crowd to go find our table again.

Spencer looks a little disgruntled when I sit back down, and I lean over, staring at her with interest. "What's up?"

"Nothing," she mumbles, embarrassed all of a sudden. "Glen just saw that I was alone over here and made me dance with him."

I smile at her sympathetically. "Sorry. I know the feeling."

"But he isn't _your _brother. It's humiliating."

"I'll dance with Kyla, if it'll make you feel better."

"I think she's a little busy," Spencer points out, and I follow her gaze to where Kyla is dancing with Aiden now. They're looking at each other a lot like the way I catch Spencer looking at me sometimes.

"I feel stupid."

"Why?"

"For being paranoid," I tell her honestly, my eyes still on Aiden and Kyla.

"Don't worry; Kyla was, too. We had a long talk back when she took me to go buy this dress. But I think he really does love her. And it doesn't take a genius to see that she loves him, too."

"So we don't get to be the happy couple anymore?" I ask, pouting, and Spencer smiles at me.

"Now we're one of two."

"Or possibly three," I say suddenly, gesturing in another direction when I spot Madison and Glen together on the dance floor. Now I'm wondering what the heck happened to them being broken up.

Meanwhile, Spencer chuckles next to me. "Glen and Madison? Yeah, right. They're the shallowest couple on the planet."

"Yeah," I reply unconvincingly. "I guess so."

* * *

"I can't believe we stayed for this whole thing," Spencer murmurs to me as we're dancing to one of the last songs of the night. The gym's a lot emptier than it was when we first got here, but there are still plenty of couples left, including Kyla and Aiden, and Glen and Madison.

My eyes meet Glen's from across the dance floor, and he mouths something to me that I can't figure out, then points two fingers at his own eyes, then at mine. Oh. Apparently, he's watching me. I roll my eyes at him and slide my hands down to Spencer's lower back. She laughs and squeezes my hips in response, and Glen glares at me for a moment, but then Madison pulls him in for a kiss and he's a bit distracted after that.

"I hope you're not tired," I tell Spencer pointedly just as she lets out a small sigh. Immediately, I feel her tense just a little bit, and I pull her just a little bit closer to me.

"I'm not _now_," she replies with just a hint of amusement, and I lean forward until my lips are resting next to her ear.

"We can leave. You know…right now. If you want."

Spencer's hand finds mine, and then she pulls away from me and kisses me lightly, before letting go of me completely. "You go tell Kyla and Aiden we're going. I'll let Glen know."

Finding Kyla and Aiden isn't that hard. Trying to get them to stop kissing long enough for me to talk to them _is_.

"Hey. Hey! Guys…okay, um…" I settle for just talking to them anyway and hoping they hear me. "Spencer and I are gonna go. I'll call you tomorrow, Kyla. Okay?"

They both give me a thumbs up without breaking apart, and I sigh, heading back to where I originally saw Madison and Glen together. Spencer's still talking to Glen by the time I reach them, and Madison has apparently left to go get a drink, by the looks of things.

"You better take good care of my sister," Glen warns me, and I smirk at him.

"Don't worry; I will."

Spencer blushes next to me, and Glen doesn't look amused. "Anyway, bye," Spencer says quickly, grabbing my hand again and pulling me out of the gym. I wave over my shoulder at Glen until he's out of sight.

* * *

"Hurry _up_…"

"I'm trying," I groan out, fumbling with the key in my hand while Spencer gives my ear another quick nip and then giggles to herself. "It's not going in!"

"Because your hands are shaking," Spencer mumbles, forgoing the nipping completely and just sucking my earlobe into her mouth in the middle of the hallway we're standing in. Luckily, nobody seems to be nearby.

"And that's because you won't stop," I tell her, closing my eyes when one of her hands reaches over from my left and slides up my thigh. I grasp it before it can get too far, then use it to yank Spencer towards me. She stumbles forward with her heels still on, and our lips crash together while my grip loosens on the key.

Spencer kisses me for all of about two seconds before she pulls away abruptly and snatches the key from my hand, then sticks it into the lock on the door and turns it. "See?" she asks, looking over her shoulder at me, and I roll my eyes at her, snatching the key from her and then tossing it into the room, before pushing her inside and then closing and locking the door behind us.

The bed's one of the first things we see, and we're immediately removing both our own clothes and each other's on the way there, only interrupting ourselves for a couple of kisses in the process. Spencer fumbles with the zipper on the back of her dress, and I come up behind her and grab both of her hands, lacing our fingers together while I press myself up against her back. "Spencer?" I question, amused.

"Can you help?" she asks tentatively, and I squeeze her hands in response, then snatch up her zipper between my teeth and pull down slowly. Spencer hears it unzipping but feels my hands against hers, and immediately tries to look over her shoulder to try to see how I'm doing this.

"Teeth," I tell her, and even though it comes out a little muffled, I'm pretty sure she gets it.

I push her dress the rest of the way down once it's loose enough, then let go of her hands and wrap my arms around her, kissing the back of her neck quickly. Spencer turns around in my arms and immediately attaches her lips to_ my_ neck, and I feel my thighs start to quiver, so I push her backwards hastily, onto the bed, and from there on out we're just a tangle of limbs and bodies.

The digital clock on the nightstand beside the bed reads 3:07 just before I fall asleep.

* * *

I'm awake before I actually open my eyes, and I decide to lie still and pretend I'm asleep, because Spencer's fingers are lightly massaging my scalp and it feels _amazing_. Especially with the nails she's managed to grow out.

"Ash…are you awake?" she asks gently, and even though I want to still pretend, I don't want to flat-out lie to her, so I open my eyes and focus in on hers. They're twinkling the second Spencer sees that I am in fact awake, and a slow smile spreads across her lips, one which I return just as slowly and happily. This definitely wasn't our first time having sex together, but it is the first time I get to wake up next to Spencer in a bed afterwards without having to go eat breakfast before she even regains consciousness.

We're both lying here, just staring at each other with our heads still on our pillows, and after a moment, Spencer lifts her hand out from under the covers and rests it against my cheek, then slides forward, joining our lips lightly in a gentle kiss that only lasts a couple of seconds. When she pulls away, her eyes still have that bright twinkle in them that I absolutely cannot get over. It's so adorable.

"I love you," I tell her, forming the words clearly with my lips without actually voicing anything, and Spencer's smile widens. She scoots her whole body over so that the front of it is pressed into mine, and I'm suddenly _very _awake, but then she just slings her arm around my waist and buries her face in my neck, letting out a soft and barely audible sigh. "What time is it?" I ask, and it's not until I hear how hoarse my voice is that I realize I might've overworked it a little last night.

Spencer draws a couple of numbers on my back with her finger, and my eyes flutter shut while I try to analyze how they felt. "Ten?" She nods from just beneath me, kissing my skin, and I wonder aloud, "Don't you have to go to church?"

"Not today," she mumbles. "Too tired."

I open one eye, looking down at the top of her head. "So we stay in bed all day?" She nods. "What if I have to go to the bathroom?"

Spencer pulls away enough so that I can see her raising an eyebrow at me. "If you want another night like last night ever again, you'll hold it."

"Just kidding," I say quickly, grinning at her.

Someone's feisty this morning.

* * *

"Oh. My. God."

It's Monday morning, and Spencer has this horrified look on her face as she's staring into her locker. I'm standing beside her with both eyebrows raised, wondering what she seems to be staring at that's got her so worried.

"Ash, I…I swear I don't know how this got here," Spencer says hastily, withdrawing a condom from the back of her locker. I'm trying _so _hard not to smile right now at how embarrassed and anxious she looks. "I mean…I-I don't even need it; I would _never_…" she stammers out, fumbling with the condom for a moment like she doesn't know what to do with it. I'd completely forgotten about the whole condom fiasco, actually, and after what happened with the gum in Spencer's hair, I never even thought to tell her about it. So, in other words: this is fucking hilarious to watch, even if it is a bit cruel of me not to clue Spencer in.

"You know I like girls, right?" she finally finishes lamely, and I realize that I've just missed about two minutes' worth of ranting about why she wouldn't need to use a condom because condoms are for things that girls don't have, and how she's never going to touch one of those particular things with a ten-foot pole ever again so I don't need to worry about her having a condom because she loves me and won't ever need to use them.

"Hey! _Ash_…why are you laughing?!"

"No reason," I tell her, shaking my head. I'm still smiling as I spot Madison walking down the hall in our direction, and I brighten further when I remember what Glen told me Saturday night, about her sticking up for Spencer and I. "Hi, Madison," I say, trying to be friendly to her for the first time in a while.

"Don't talk to me," she replies briskly, holding a palm up in my direction without pausing or even looking at me, and I can't stop my jaw from dropping.

Okay, so maybe _some _things will never change.


	38. Spencer Turns 18

**Mb168: I promise I won't do that to Spashley :)**

* * *

"So I'm guessing there's a direct correlation between sex with Spencer and the amount of songs you write," Kyla teases me from the doorway of my mini-studio. I look up from The Spencer Notebook, glaring at her. "Because you two haven't been able to keep your hands off of each other lately, and the more you touch Spencer, the more you cling to that notebook, whatever it is."

I lift the notebook up and hold it against my chest so that she can't see it, my frown deepening. "Shut up; Spencer's birthday's tomorrow and she wants to hear a song. And I don't have _anything _to show her."

"Please, Ash," Kyla replies, rolling her eyes. "All of your songs are amazing." She stalks over to me and yanks the notebook out of my hands, immediately flipping to the front cover while I try to control the color of my cheeks. She raises an eyebrow when she reads the title. "You're serious?"

"It's not like they're _all _recently written," I snap, snatching the notebook back. "I've had it since Christmas."

"But they're all about Spencer."

"I have other notebooks," I defend.

"But this _entire _thing is full of songs about Spencer? I see you writing in this all the time!"

"She inspires me," I mumble, opening the notebook again and lifting the pencil still in my hand. I frown, realizing I've lost my train of thought.

Kyla stares at me for a moment, then sits down on the empty stool next to mine, resting her hands on the sides of it. "Does she know you're this crazy about her?"

I shrug, a little embarrassed. "Maybe. I don't know."

"But you are, aren't you? Because it sure seems like it. It's been five months and you still don't have _any _regrets?"

I'm quiet for a moment, silently setting my notebook off to the side, because I can tell this is going to be one of Kyla and I's rare serious conversations. "I really think…like, she's it for me," I admit, chewing on my bottom lip and refusing to look at Kyla's reaction. "Spencer…there's never going to be anyone like her. I want to spend the rest of my life with her. But…do you think it'd freak her out, if I told her that? I mean, we've said stuff about seeing ourselves together a few years from now and wanting to be together forever, but that's different than saying, 'You're the one.' You know? But I think she _is _my one."

"She's going to college in a month," Kyla reminds me sensibly, and I let out a long sigh, closing my eyes. It's almost too painful to think about, and I've been shoving it to the back of my mind ever since I first realized it was really going to happen. But every now and then, it somehow manages to resurface.

"I know."

"And you two will be seeing each other less and less."

"I know," I repeat quietly.

"_And_…Spencer will be doing new things, meeting new people…"

"I _know_," I say through gritted teeth, wishing Kyla would stop making me give this serious thought. I just want to cross that bridge when I come to it, instead of dwelling on it while I still have Spencer with me.

"So…I want you to move out. Go with her."

"I kn-…_what_?"

"Go with Spencer. Move closer to her college. Maybe even share a place with her," Kyla continues, smiling at me when I raise my head and look over at her. "You two are obviously in it for the long haul, so I might as well get used to living alone while you live with Spencer."

"Kyla…you know I can't do that to you," I reply, even though on the inside my heart feels like it's about to burst from my chest and I'm practically waiting with baited breath for Kyla to talk me into this.

"Don't worry about me. I'm a big girl."

And suddenly, the smile is sliding right off of my face. "But so is Spencer," I point out dejectedly. "I bet she won't want me there with her. College was supposed to be her time to get out there and be all independent. I can't ruin that."

"Well, you should at least talk to her about it," Kyla insists, patting my shoulder as she stands up again. "But now you know that whatever you decide, it's up to what you and Spencer think is best. I'm not holding you back."

"Thank you _so _much," I tell her honestly, standing up to hug her, and Kyla hugs me back for a moment, then pulls away.

"_Well_…I'm going to go call my boyfriend and let him know that we might potentially have this place to ourselves starting next August," she says pointedly, giving me a quick wave before she pulls out her cell phone and leaves the room.

The second she's gone, I pick The Spencer Notebook back up and flip through it until I'm on a new blank sheet of paper, then lift my pencil and begin to write.

* * *

"Happy birthday, Spencer…"

Spencer wakes up in the form of yawning loudly and stretching her arms up in the air, then blinking rapidly until her eyes focus in on me. Sunlight is streaming in through her window, and even though it's daytime, I snuck in through said window with a little help from Aiden and Kyla, instead of using the front door. Spencer's parents don't know I'm up here.

It's Saturday, luckily, but I would've skipped a day of school anyway to spend Spencer's birthday with her.

So here we are, sitting at the edge of her bed, and Spencer is eyeing the large pile of rolled-up posters lying on her bedroom floor just in front of us. "Wow."

I shrug. "I figured I'd just get all the ones they had, since you weren't there to pick out your favorites."

"I thought you weren't going to get me a Kelly Clarkson poster for my birthday?"

"Well, I wasn't, but I changed my mind. Besides, these are _posters_. Plural."

"I noticed," she says, grinning despite her own surprise.

"Okay, but here's the thing: I wouldn't bother putting them all up yet, since you're moving out soon anyway, and you're _not _putting these up in my room when you stay with me over the summer. So I think it'd be best to just save them and wait."

_What _she's waiting for, I don't specify, because I have no idea whether or not she'll be living in a dorm or with me a few months from now. And I'm not sure if on her birthday is the right time to ask.

"You're right," Spencer agrees, kissing me on the cheek. "Thank you for _finally _making that torn poster up to me."

"It only took me half a year," I agree, grinning.

"Yeah."

My smile fades quickly, though, because even though I'm spending the whole day with Spencer, there's only one gift left for me to give, and it's nerve-wracking just thinking about it.

"Spencer?"

"Hmm?"

"Um…you know how you said I should write you a song for your birthday?"

"Yeah," she replies, looking over at me with interest now.

"Well…" I pick up the backpack I managed to bring with me into Spencer's room, unzipping it and pulling out The Spencer Notebook. "I did. A lot of them, actually. Ever since we first started dating. I mean…they're all…you'll probably think they're all stupid or something; I don't even know why I bothered bringing this here, actually, but…I figured if you wanted to see it, I could show it to you or let you have it or something. As your birthday present."

Spencer looks shocked by the fact that I have a whole notebook of songs dedicated to her, and she examines the cover for a moment, but I stop her before she can open it.

"And, uh…could you wait until later to look at it, actually? Like, when I'm not around?"

"Ash," Spencer says in a tone that I know means her answer will be no. "You don't need to be nervous about what I'm going to think. It's not like I'm going to make fun of you if they aren't that great, and I'm sure they'll be amazing, anyway." She leans in really close until her forehead is pressing into mine, and pleads, "Will you sing one for me?"

Her hand starts inching up my thigh and I'm a little speechless at the moment, but we both know I can't say no to Spencer, so I just close my mouth and nod, swallowing the lump in my throat. "Tonight, though, okay?"

"Deal," Spencer says, and we both turn our heads swiftly when we hear someone knock on Spencer's door. I'm immediately scrambling for a hiding place while Spencer lays back down and pretends to be asleep.

"Spencer?" comes Arthur's voice from the other side. "I know you're awake, honey. And I can see Ashley's car parked across the street."

He opens the door to see Spencer sitting back up and me exiting her closet sheepishly, then spends a second eyeing the large pile of posters on the floor, before beckoning to me with one finger.

Uh oh. I'm in trouble.

"How did you even get inside?" he asks me as he's leading me back downstairs, and right now I'm just hoping Paula isn't going to catch me.

"The window," I tell him honestly, realizing by now that he's not angry with me. I still don't know what he's doing, though.

"Even with all of those posters?"

"I brought a backpack."

"Ah." We reach the front door, and he opens it, then gestures outside politely. I have no choice but to step outside and let him close the door behind me, but then a second later, he opens it a second later and greets me with a smile. "Ashley! So nice of you to come over for Spencer's birthday today."

"Um…no problem," I reply, smiling as Arthur lets me back inside.

"Ashley's here?" I hear Paula say as she appears from the kitchen, and I shoot Arthur a thankful look, realizing that he's basically saved me from a lot of possible trouble.

"Will that be an issue?" Arthur questions, and Paula looks like she wants to say yes, but apparently she does actually have a soul and doesn't want to start an argument on Spencer's birthday. I'm tempted to stick my tongue out at her as she sighs and turns around to head back into the kitchen. Arthur turns to me when she's gone. "We'll be having a small barbecue in the backyard to celebrate. Spencer's grandmother is flying in, too, and knowing Spencer, she'll want to go pick her up from the airport."

"That's cool. I'll drive her there if she wants me to."

"I'm sure she'd like that," Arthur agrees, watching me go climb the stairs to Spencer's room. "Clay's here, too, actually. He got here last night after Spencer went to sleep, and we've got him up in his room for right now. Don't tell her about it, though. It's supposed to be a surprise."

"You got it, Mr. C," I promise, re-entering Spencer's room with a grin on my face. She's still sitting on her bed, and raises an eyebrow when she sees me.

"What were you two doing?"

"Well, if Paula had caught me up here, things would've been a little awkward," I explain. "But now it doesn't look like I snuck in, thanks to your dad."

I sit down next to her on the bed, and she leans over, resting her head on my shoulder. "Did my dad tell you what we're doing today?"

"That depends. How much do you know?"

"Just that we're having a barbecue and I can invite whoever I want," Spencer tells me.

"Your dad said it would be small."

"Because you're the only person I really wanted to invite," she points out, and I look down at her incredulously.

"What about Madison?"

Spencer laughs. "I hope you're joking. Maybe I'll call Aiden and Kyla, though, if they're not busy."

"Or 'getting busy'," I add.

"Ew. But other than you and them, there's not really anyone I'm _that _close to."

I roll my eyes. "That's ridiculous, Spencer. You have to have more than three fr…" I trail off, furrowing my eyebrows and thinking back.

There's Kyla, Aiden, and me. Then Madison and the rest of the cheerleaders, who used to like Spencer until she liked me. Then Carmen, who liked Spencer until Spencer basically got rid of her to stay with me. And the rest of the school doesn't really associate with her because she's gay. For me.

"Ash, I know what you're thinking, so stop. You know I've never been into the whole popularity thing."

"I guess not," I mumble, looking over at her. She's raised her head by now, and is staring back at me intently. "…Do you ever think about what things would be like if you weren't gay and we'd never started talking to each other?"

Spencer shakes her head solemnly. "Never."

"Why not?"

She gives me a pointed look, and then pecks me on the lips. When she pulls away, she's smiling at me. "Because why would I want to?"

* * *

"Mom, you're cleaning."

I follow Spencer's gaze across the kitchen to see Paula spraying and wiping the dining room table intently, but I don't really see the significance of this, so I just snatch Spencer's toast away from beneath her on the counter and take a bite out of it.

"Give that back," she orders, snatching it away and rolling her eyes at me when I grin at her. Her attention is back on Paula a second later, and judging by the look on Paula's face, she is definitely guilty of something. "You never clean, except for when…" The grin that's already on Spencer's face widens, and Paula sighs loudly.

"It was supposed to be a surprise."

Spencer squeals and runs over to Paula, and I realize that this is the first time I've ever seen Spencer hug her mom. It's kind of nice to watch, especially when Paula looks so kind and unthreatening. "Grandma's flying in?!" Oh, so _that's _what this is about. "When? Is she almost here? Is she _already _here?"

Paula laughs at Spencer's enthusiasm, telling her, "Her flight should arrive in about two hours. Would you like to go pick her up?" Her eyes flicker over towards me, and she forces out, "Ashley's offered to go with you, if you want."

"That's okay," I cut in quickly, deciding I have a better idea. "Spencer should get some alone time with her, instead of having me there in the middle the whole time. But you can borrow my car, Spencer."

"Really?" Spencer asks, her eyes lighting up as she turns to look at me. Ever since she drove my car once, she's wanted to do it again, but there's never been a good time to let her do it for an extended period of time.

"Sure. Here," I reply, digging my keys out of my pocket and tossing them to her. "Spend some quality time with your grandma. I'll hang here."

She grins, then walks back over to me and wraps her arms around me, mumbling a thank you while I hug her back awkwardly. I can see Paula over Spencer's shoulder, and her eyes are telling me I have five seconds to let go of Spencer or else she'll throw me out of the house. Spencer must feel me tensing up, because she pulls back a little and turns her head to look at her mom, and I think that right about now I'm not the only one remembering how Spencer said she'd tell her mom about us after she turns eighteen. Luckily, she glances back at me, and I get the opportunity to whisper, "Not on your birthday, Spence."

She swallows, then nods, entangling herself from me and clearing her throat awkwardly. "Right. Um…I'm gonna go take a shower, and then I'll leave to go pick Grandma up."

Paula gives her a short nod of acknowledgement, and I reply, "Okay. See you later." She waves at us awkwardly, then quickly leaves the room.

"Ashley! I thought I heard your voice!"

Glen claps me on the back so hard that I stumble forward a little, and when I turn around to look at him, he's grinning down at me widely. He's been like this towards me ever since prom, and I think it's in an effort to treat me like "one of the guys" now that I'm dating his sister. It's better than how he used to be, at least.

"Clay and I were having a debate up in his room, and you're the tiebreaker, okay?"

"Alright," I agree half-heartedly, letting him drag me away from Paula and all the way up to Clay's room. He looks around to make sure Spencer isn't watching, then pulls me inside and shuts the door behind him.

Clay's on his bed, reading a book (as usual), and he looks up when we enter, smiling at me. "Look who's still hanging around."

"Yeah, unfortunately for Paula," I reply with a grin, and he stands up to come give me a hug.

"I'm glad to see things are still going well for you and Spencer," he tells me when we pull away, and Glen looks like he's still adjusting to the fact that Clay knows about Spencer and I.

"So what am I the tiebreaker for?" I ask Glen, crossing my arms, and he goes to pick up a magazine on Clay's desk, flipping through it for a moment and then opening to a certain page, before holding it up to my face.

"Who's hotter: Megan Fox or Olivia Wilde?"

* * *

Clay's allowed out of his room once Spencer has left, so by noon, we're all out in the Carlins' backyard with Arthur and Paula, getting the grill started while we wait for Aiden, Kyla, Spencer, and Spencer's grandmother to get here. Paula's cleaning everything in sight, and I'm sitting on a lawn chair, filing my nails while Clay and Glen continue to argue alongside me.

"Dude, Megan Fox was in _Transformers_. That's hot. All Olivia Wilde did was _House _and _The O.C._," Glen is saying, and Clay looks like he's lost interest by now, because he's gone back to his book and is rolling his eyes every time Glen speaks.

"She didn't really do anything in _Transformers_, though," I decide to cut in, defending Clay because he isn't defending himself. "Just ran a lot. And Olivia Wilde makes out with other girls, so she wins hands-down."

"Whatever. You're biased," Glen tells me.

"You asked for my opinion," I point out.

"Because I thought for sure you'd side with me."

I shrug, then smirk. "Sorry. Maybe you could ask Spencer when she gets home."

"Ask Spencer what?"

Glen, Clay, and I all get whiplash simultaneously when we turn to see Paula standing just a few feet away, preparing to wash the outside of a window, and there's this brief silence where the three of us try to figure out who's going to make something up.

"Um…whether she likes blondes or brunettes?" I offer when neither boy comes to the rescue, and Glen snickers from behind me, while Paula rolls her eyes and turns away.

"I think you already know the answer," he murmurs, and I smack his arm quickly, hiding a smile mostly at the fact that he's at least _trying _to act like me and Spencer dating doesn't bother him.

"Shut up."

The doorbell rings from the front door of the house, and I stand up quickly, offering to go answer it and then heading back inside. Glen goes with me for some reason, and when I open the door, I realize why. "Oh, _hell _no."

Madison smirks at me from the doorway, then pushes past me and steps inside, looking around. "So this is where you live, Glen."

"You invited her?!" I exclaim, rounding on Glen, who smiles sheepishly and rubs the back of his head. "There's no way she's staying here. Spencer doesn't even like her, and she _definitely _can't get anywhere near Paula."

"Mom wanted to meet my girl," Glen tells me, wrapping an arm around Madison, "so I invited her to the party. She'll hang with me the whole time, anyway. I'm sure Spencer won't mind."

"Relax," Madison adds, rolling her eyes. "I won't blow your little girlfriend's secret. It'd ruin the party, and I'm not _that _cruel."

"I'm sure you aren't," I retort quickly, directing my attention back to Glen. "I thought you two broke up…but you're back together now?"

"We made up at prom," Glen tells me. "I had some growing up to do, so I did it."

"I haven't seen any difference other than you treating me like a guy," I reply.

"Hey, it's my way of dealing with you dating my sister until I adjust. Just bear with me, alright?"

"Whatever," I snap, starting to head to the backyard again, but the doorbell rings for a second time. Chelsea, Kyla and Aiden are standing on the other side when Glen opens the door.

"Hey, guys, I hope you don't mind but I invited…Madison?" Kyla asks, leading Aiden in by the hand and shooting me a "what the hell is going on?" look. I shrug, rolling my eyes and then smiling at Chelsea, and Aiden clears his throat awkwardly, avoiding looking over at Madison. They aren't exactly on the best of terms at the moment. And on top of all that, Paula still thinks Aiden and Spencer have started dating again.

I sigh, reminding Kyla and Aiden that they can't hold hands, and then leading everyone out to the backyard so we can all get acquainted and reacquainted.

I just hope things don't get _too_ crazy.


	39. The Party

"This is my…best friend, Ashley…"

I give Spencer's grandmother an awkward smile, and Spencer moves on down the line. "Ashley's sister, Kyla…" She pauses, coming to a stop in front of Aiden, and then glancing over at Paula, who is _still _cleaning, but is clearly listening to the conversation. Aiden looks really uncomfortable. "And…um, my friend, Aiden."

"Oh, Spencer, you don't have to be shy!" Told you she was listening.

Paula swoops in without her cleaning supplies and wraps an arm around Spencer, turning towards her mother with a proud smile. "Aiden's Spencer's boyfriend." I'm beginning to think Spencer isn't the only one with mommy issues.

"Oh, how wonderful," Spencer's grandmother coos, and Aiden smiles awkwardly while Kyla and I exchange frustrated looks. "It's so nice to see that Glen isn't the only one who's found somebody." I turn and look across the yard to see Madison talking with Glen and Arthur while they flip burgers on the grill. She's probably trying to get on Arthur's good side, especially since she knows she looks like a bitch after what she did to Spencer all those months ago. Clay's put his book away and is talking to Chelsea by the chairs.

"Anyway," Spencer cuts in, clearing her throat. "I have to go…get something out of my room. I'll be right back, okay?"

"Alright, see you in a minute, sweetie," Paula says, letting go of her and letting Spencer head back inside. That would be my cue to leave.

"I have to use the bathroom," I say abruptly, leaving without waiting for Paula's permission. If I come off rude, whatever. Paula doesn't like me, so chances are her mom won't, either. Judging by the way things have gone so far, it doesn't look like Paula's going to let her mom know I'm gay, though. It would probably reflect badly on Spencer's choice of friends. Once again: whatever.

"Spencer?" I ask lightly, peeking into her bedroom to see her standing on the other side of the room, staring at her family pictures. I've seen them all enough by now to know that she must be looking at the one of her grandmother.

I step inside her room and close the door behind me, and Spencer asks, "How am I supposed to tell her?"

"Do you want to?" I reply, sitting down on the edge of her bed. Spencer sighs, then turns away from the pictures to come sit next to me.

"Yeah. But I know it won't go well. She'll be worse than mom."

I can't help but laugh, and Spencer forces a smile, probably guessing what I'm going to say. "I highly doubt that, Spence."

"I want to have fun, since everyone took the time to come over and celebrate and everything, but how am I supposed to do that if I have to pretend I'm dating Aiden the whole time? And mom's so intent on impressing grandma that she'll be shoving Aiden and I together all day, so I can't even play it off. She's going to want us attached at the hip." She frowns. "And who the hell invited Madison? Glen?"

"She already promised she wouldn't tell," I inform her, remembering that Spencer doesn't even know that Glen and Madison ever broke up in the first place, let alone _why _they broke up. "I guess she's a little nicer now."

"Not by much," Spencer mumbles, resting her head on my shoulder. "Lying about Aiden for prom was a bad idea."

"We wouldn't have been able to go otherwise," I point out.

"Yeah, but now I'm stuck dating him."

"Just for tonight."

Spencer nods. "Grandma's staying until Monday morning, so…I don't know, maybe I could write it to her in a letter and then tell her not to open it until she's home or something. And then I can tell Mom later this week." She groans suddenly. "But my mom would still find out from my grandma before I could tell her, anyway…"

"So tell Paula first," I suggest. "This won't be the last time you see your grandma, right? You could always wait to tell her."

"I think that's what I'll _have _to do," Spencer agrees, standing up again and offering me her hand. "We should probably get back before they notice we're both missing. Plus I've hardly even gotten to see Clay, and he flew in just like Grandma did."

I scoff. "God, today was so weird before you came back…between him and Glen…I think Glen's coping mechanism is treating me like a boy in some half-assed attempt to pretend you're dating a guy."

"It's better than nothing," Spencer replies with a smile.

"Yeah, well you're not the one who has to be the boyfriend," I tell her, wrinkling my nose, and Spencer giggles, pulling me towards her door. I smile to myself, glad I'm at least cheering her up a little. "And hey, guess what? You can vote now."

"Oh God, I totally forgot about that. I'm really eighteen now."

"Yup. You can do whatever you want…"

She forces a laugh at that. "Yeah, I think what we're doing right now is proof that that's still not true." She drops my hand once we're in the hall, almost as if for emphasis, and I sigh, changing the subject somewhat.

"If you commit a crime, you get a harsher sentence now, too."

"Uh oh. That means I can't let you talk me into robbing any banks."

"Of course, because that's _exactly _what I need. More money."

"Whoops. I forget sometimes."

"Trust me," I tell her emphatically as we reach the bottom of the stairs. "That's a good thing."

"Because it means I'm not dating you for the money?"

"Exactly."

She frowns at me, and I catch it out of the corner of my eye. "That's never been an issue, has it?" she asks me.

I furrow my eyebrows, taking my eyes off of everyone outside to look at Spencer. "Of course not. I think I wondered, like, once, and it was for only two seconds. I know you're not like that." I sigh, placing a hand over my heart. "It's just one more perk of dating Ashley Davies."

"Uh huh. Apparently so is your overwhelming modesty."

"You love it."

Spencer rolls her eyes. "As much as I'm enjoying sneaking away to flirt with you, we should probably go back outside."

"Okay. You go. I'll wait a minute or two, you know, to ease the suspicion."

"Ugh. You're so paranoid. C'mon." She tugs on my hand and pulls me out the back door before I can argue, and everyone's attention is immediately on us, since Spencer's the birthday girl and she's supposed to be the center of attention anyway.

"Hamburger or hotdog, Spence?" Glen asks from the grill, capturing Spencer's attention first, and she heads over in his direction, smiling over her shoulder at me and giving me a quick wave goodbye. I spot Kyla and Aiden sitting with Clay and Chelsea, and decide to go see what they're up to.

Kyla smirks at me as I sit down next to her, then leans over and whispers, "Check out Clay and Chelsea. They're totally flirting."

"Well, from what I've heard from Spencer, it's about time Clay found someone anyway," I reply with a smirk. Clay and Chelsea both hear me, and a second later, they're both glaring at me and blushing simultaneously.

"Hey, Ash?" Aiden asks, furrowing his eyebrows. "How many more times am I going to have to pose as Spencer's boyfriend?"

"This is the last time," I promise. "She's telling her mom really soon." I glance over at Paula, who is still catering to her mother's every need, but then Spencer's dad calls me over from across the yard, and I stand up, waving goodbye to Kyla and Aiden. Chelsea and Clay have already gone back to flirting. "What's up, Mr. C?"

"Well, I was thinking we could roast marshmallows out here later tonight, so how would you like to help me build a place to have a fire?"

"Sure," I agree, because I love marshmallows and anything's better than hanging around Paula, Spencer's grandma, or Spencer and Aiden. Not separately, of course; Spencer and Aiden are both fine when they're not together. But for the most part, they're going to have to be during this party.

I'm helping Arthur form a circle with a bunch of large rocks when Spencer practically tackles me from behind and whispers into my ear, "My mom's letting you spend the night tonight!"

"What?" I ask incredulously, turning to face her and accepting the hotdog she offers me. "Is she insane?"

"I'm dating Aiden, remember?" Spencer says matter-of-factly, grinning. I smirk at her, and she adds, "And I know what you're thinking, but my grandmother's going to be staying here tonight, which means _we're _just hanging out, alright? Oh, and since my grandma's spending the night and we're already going to be cramped, plus my mom doesn't want her to know you're gay, Clay's sleeping on the couch, my grandma's taking his bed, and _you're _up in my room with me. To ease the suspicion or something."

"Uh, I don't think so, honey," Arthur cuts in, hearing the last part of our conversation, and I almost choke on the hotdog I've just taken a bite of. Spencer looks equally put off by his statement.

"Why _not_?"

"I think you both know why."

Spencer pouts at him. "I'm eighteen."

"You're still living under my roof."

"It's mom's roof, too."

He pauses for a moment, then bends down to pick up another rock. "Touché." When he straightens up again, he adds, "Alright. I trust you both, but don't make me regret it."

"You got it, Mr. C." Spencer drags me away from her dad before I can say anything else, and we head to a spot across the yard where everyone seems to have formed a circle on the ground. On the way there, we pass Paula and Spencer's grandmother heading in the opposite direction, apparently to go talk to Arthur. "We're playing truth or dare!"

"Ugh," I groan in response. "Spencer, you're the youngest one here, and you're eighteen now. Aren't we a little old for this?"

"You're never too old for truth or dare," Glen insists as Spencer pulls me down to the ground between her and Kyla, and looking around, I notice that there are eight of us. Four couples, if you count Chelsea and Clay. "Clay, truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Okay…" Glen pauses for a moment, thinking. "Would you ever date a stripper?"

Clay rolls his eyes. "No. Um…Kyla, truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"If you had to kiss one girl here, who would it be?"

Everyone looks surprised that Clay asked such a bold question, and Kyla smirks, her eyes sweeping the circle. "Well, Ash is out of the question, obviously…there's no way I'm kissing _Madison_…" Madison glares at her. "And Ash would kill me if I kissed Spencer…so I guess that leaves Chelsea."

Chelsea pretends to look flattered, and Kyla grins, then looks over at Spencer. "Spencer, truth or dare?"

"Um…dare," Spencer replies on an impulse, shrugging as she says it. Apparently, she doesn't know Kyla as well as I thought, because most people with common sense would not say dare and put themselves at Kyla's mercy like that.

My sister takes about two seconds to think about it before she reaches into one of her pockets and pulls out a small, plastic-wrapped peppermint, looking like she's just won the Olympics. "Eat this. But it has to start out in Ashley's mouth."

"Is this supposed to be a punishment?" I question, holding my hand out and letting Kyla place it in my hand. Spencer's blushing beside me as I unwrap it and pop it into my mouth. "Because it's not working."

Spencer doesn't really seem to agree, because when I turn to look at her, she's looking past me, in the direction we came from to get here. I follow her gaze, and see that both Paula and Spencer's grandma have their backs to us.

"You two better hurry before they look," Kyla warns, and I glance across the circle briefly, catching Glen talking to Madison and paying almost zero attention to what we're doing. It's not in an "I'm not going to watch this" way, either. He just doesn't really seem to care. It makes me smile, and I turn back to Spencer, sticking out my tongue so she can see the peppermint, then wiggling it playfully.

"Want it?"

"Not really, no," she replies, regaining her composure enough to be sassy. "I don't like peppermints that much." I raise an eyebrow, and she sighs, looking around at everyone else, and then at her mom again. I'm guessing Paula's still not looking, because Spencer leans forward and kisses me quickly a second later, pulling away with the peppermint before I have time to enjoy it.

"Aiden, truth or dare?" she asks while I'm pouting next to her.

"Um…I'll take a dare."

Spencer grins immediately, then spits out this gem: "I dare you to take off your shirt and ask my mom if she thinks you'd make a good model."

Almost everyone at least smiles, and Glen and Clay both look mildly horrified as Aiden stands up and pulls his shirt off, then makes his way over to their mother. Clearly, Spencer's had this dare in mind ever since the game started.

I can't bear to watch it, really, because I've already heard enough stories from Spencer about what Paula thinks of Aiden to last a lifetime, but it's evident from the way I hear people snorting or snickering every few seconds that Paula's answer was probably a slightly distracted yes.

"Ash, truth or dare?" he asks when he's finally back and fully clothed.

"Dare," I say, secretly hoping he'll make me get that peppermint back.

"Um…" Kyla whispers something in his ear, and he commands, "Give Clay a lap dance."

"Uh, no," I reply quickly while Clay's face turns red and Spencer shakes her head next to me.

"Fine, then give Spencer a lap dance," he offers, raising an eyebrow at the two of us. "Better?"

"Not in front of her parents," I tell him, although that idea could certainly grow on me. Maybe some other time.

He sighs, then tries again. "Show everyone your tattoo?"

"_That _I can do," I agree, standing up and turning around, then pulling my shirt up just a little bit so they can all see the tattoo on my lower back. "Alright, Madison. Truth or dare?"

"Truth," she replies, although it's a bit disgruntled. I have a feeling she's only playing because Glen talked her into it.

Speaking of Glen talking… "What do you _really_ think of Spencer and me?" Yeah, that's right. Time for her to drop the bitch act.

"I think you're both two of the most annoying lesbians I've ever met."

Or not.

I raise an eyebrow at her, and she sighs. "And…I guess you both take more crap than you deserve." I clear my throat expectantly, and she sighs again. "_And _most of it's from me, so…whatever. Sorry."

"Thank you," I reply smugly, and before Madison can say anything else, Arthur appears beside us.

"Who wants cake?"

* * *

Since almost everyone was invited on a whim, there isn't much present-opening (which Spencer says she is fine with), but there _is _plenty of chocolate cake.

"You're not gonna have another piece?" I ask Spencer, surprised when I see her throw her plate away after eating just one slice of cake. We're all lounging around in the living room now, watching TV and just talking.

"_Some _of us actually have normal metabolisms," she sighs out, collapsing next to me, and I glance down at my stomach, frowning, then looking over at Spencer's. She's got to be at least as skinny as me, if not skinnier. "Plus, I have to save room for those marshmallows."

"Don't you just hate those people that pig out all the time and don't get any fatter?" Kyla asks rhetorically, giving me a pointed look, and I raise both eyebrows in surprise.

"What? _Me_?"

Spencer's grandma lets out one of those short old people laughs, all like "oh, isn't she a sweetheart", and Paula forces a smile while I'm kind of inwardly smirking at her. I can totally tell she's upset I've made a good impression on Granny so far. Geez, she hates me so much that she can't stand when _other_ people like me. That is some deep hatred, people.

"Well, I'm gonna have to get going," Madison says suddenly, entering the living room with Glen by her side. "It was great meeting all of you." She smiles at Spencer's parents, and Glen steers her to the door, obviously eager to have a minute or two alone. Kyla clears her throat a second later, drawing attention to herself.

"We should probably go, too," she says, looking over at Aiden and Chelsea. "You both need a ride, right?" she asks in an effort to act like she and Aiden aren't as close as they actually are, and I have to admit, she's pretty smart when she wants to be.

"Yeah," Aiden replies for both of them, and Kyla and Chelsea hug me and Spencer goodbye, then Kyla and I watch on as Aiden gives Spencer an extremely chaste kiss on the cheek (Paula and Spencer's grandma are "aww"ing in the background), and Chelsea discreetly gives Clay her number. He's blushing even after they're all out the front door.

"Alright," Arthur says, clapping his hands together now that it's just me and the Carlins left here. "We never got around to roasting marshmallows, so is anyone up for it?"

"I am," I agree, standing up and patting my stomach, which suddenly feels extremely empty and ready for more sugar.

So that's how we all end up sitting around a roaring fire with sticks in our hands and marshmallows on the end of them. I'm starting to get a little bit bolder, knowing Paula's not going criticize anything I do with Spencer at the moment because she doesn't want to seem like us laughing and touching and sitting close bothers her. If she _did _show that it bothered her, Spencer's grandmother would wonder why, and then we'd have to explain that I'm gay. And Paula Carlin did not raise her daughter to hang out with _gay _people, so she'd get in trouble with Spencer's grandmother, which is extremely amusing to me.

Anyway, that's as much as Spencer's explained to me on the topic, so I enjoy myself as much as I can without crossing the line _too _much. Laughing and poking each other with sticks is about as far as bad (or good) as things get, other than the occasional hand on a thigh or simply _looking _at each other for a few seconds too long. Luckily, Glen and Clay are around to provide a few distractions, though.

"So, I'm thinking I might get my GED," I say to Spencer, knowing nobody else is really listening at the moment, and she looks surprised for a moment, then smiles at me warmly. "Once we all get out of high school."

"That's great, Ash. You should do it."

I shrug. "Yeah, well, I figure if I'm not going to graduate, I might as well at least get that. It's just one test. Kyla actually suggested it, so…I guess I wanted to know what you thought."

"Take it," Spencer confirms with a nod, leaning over to rest her head on my shoulder.

I ignore the way Paula's staring at us and enjoy having Spencer this close to me, moving one of my hands to the small of her back just so I'm touching her. "You know I won't be able to sing to you tonight, right?" I ask quietly. "I'd have to go home and get a guitar, and then come back. And your mom would see."

"Yeah," she whispers, closing her eyes. "Tomorrow, though, okay?"

* * *

**A/N: So Spashley got through the party relatively unscathed, but there will definitely be some drama pretty soon. I think there's maybe two more chapters left until Paula finds out...**


	40. Good Impression

**A/N: Hey guys, sorry I have sucked so much at updating lately, I've basically just been going through a lot of emotional stuff lately and haven't really had time to update, or even write. I'm actually probably going to post two new chapters right now instead of one just to make up for the lack of updates this past week or so, so as of right now I've actually got two more chapters written after these, I think. Which means I'm going to either have to turn myself back into a writing machine pretty soon, or keep the updates coming way slower than usual. I think I'm going to try and go for a mixture of the two: write more, update less (but more often than once a week), so hopefully that's how things will turn out. **

**I'd kind of like to think of this chapter as the calm before the storm, so here's a little bit of Happy Spashley before Paula comes in and stirs the pot next chapter.**

* * *

"Alright," I agree half-heartedly in response to her suggestion, knowing her grandma will still be here tomorrow, plus she has church, so chances are I won't be able to sing to her then, either. Putting it off is just making me more anxious about it, though. "I want you to pick out which one I should sing," I tell her, and she nods against me.

"Good. I can't wait to look through that notebook again." She lowers her voice even more, and I have to struggle to hear it. "I can't believe you wrote all those songs about me."

"Me either," I joke, and she chuckles, then sits up and stretches her arms over her head, looking across the fire at her parents and grandmother.

"I'm getting tired, mom. Is it okay if I go to bed?"

"Sure," Paula says a little stiffly, and I stand up too, but she adds, "That doesn't mean Ashley has to go too, though."

"Um…I'm actually kind of tired too, so-" I start to say, but she cuts me off.

"Okay. I think maybe it'd be better if Clay and Glen shared a bed, actually, and that way you can have the couch and Spencer can have some privacy."

"What?!" Glen starts to complain, obviously completely oblivious to the fact that he's now indirectly fighting to have Spencer and I share a bed. "Clay hardly fits into that thing by _himself_!"

"He's right, honey," Spencer's grandmother says, putting a hand on Paula's arm, and I know instantly that we've won. "It'd be much easier for the girls to share a bed than for those boys to have to squeeze in together."

"Exactly. So we're gonna go," I say, and Spencer offers a polite goodnight. I fake a yawn as we head inside, and the second we're out of sight, we race up the steps, laughing, and Spencer pulls me into the room by the arm, closing the door behind us and then pressing me against it. "I thought we were just hanging out tonight," I point out, raising an eyebrow mischievously, and Spencer rolls her eyes.

"That doesn't mean we can't kiss a _little_," she says lightly, cupping my cheek and holding my gaze while she runs her thumb over my bottom lip.

And she thinks she's not sexy.

"Or a lot?" I suggest hopefully, clearing my throat when my voice sounds a little off, and she gets this smug little smile on her face for just a second or two, but it's enough to make me feel embarrassed that she can get to me this easily. "Or, you know, not at all, because that's cool too," I add nonchalantly, and Spencer just laughs like she knows that I'm trying to hide the fact that Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get It On" has been playing in my mind for about the past fifteen seconds. I would laugh, too, if the roles were reversed.

Once she moves in for the summer, I should make a new CD. That'll be the first song. Followed by…oh, let's say…John Mayer's "Your Body Is a Wonderland" and maybe that one Nine Inch Nails song. What was it? Oh, yeah, "I Wanna Fu-"

I'm pulled right out of my thoughts and into the present when Spencer leans in so close that her nose is brushing against mine, and then my eyes flutter shut and she gently presses her lips to mine, just enough for me to feel the pressure. "How's that?" she whispers, pulling away, and I shake my head quickly, keeping still a moment later when she leans forward and kisses me just a little bit harder.

When she pulls away this time, her lips skim my cheek and her breath ghosts along my skin, and it's enough for my body to start sending "hey, something hot's going on here" signals down to between my legs even as her fingers are brushing along my other cheek and her lips are repeatedly pressing against my neck. "It's my birthday, Ash," she reminds me quietly, and this time, her breath tickles my neck instead, making me shiver. "You know what I _really _want?"

She's teased me before, but never like this. "Sex?" I ask hopefully, and it successfully ruins the mood completely.

She pulls away from me and bursts into laughter, and I can't help smiling, too, because saying something stupid at a time like this is just so like me, and being unable to contain her laughter _at _said stupidity is a lot like Spencer, too. "Close." She smiles at me, then tucks a strand of my hair behind me ear and asks, "How about the next best thing?"

"It's almost eleven," I point out. "Everyone could be in bed by now, you know." I raise an eyebrow curiously. "Wait, what's next best?"

Spencer bites her lip shyly, and although it's a much different approach from her previous one, it still works just as well. Whatever it is, the answer's already yes. "A massage?"

A mental image of me rubbing Spencer down pops into my mind before I can stop it, and I have to try hard not to drool. "Please."

Spencer raises an eyebrow. "I meant _you _have to massage _me_, Ash."

"I know," I reply, grinning, and she just smiles at me again, then turns away from me and heads towards her bed, reaching down to tug her shirt up and over her head.

I move away from the door quickly, wanting to lock it but knowing it's a dead giveaway to anyone that might check on us if they see that the door's locked, so it looks like we're just going to have to risk it. Spencer's eighteen anyway; she can do whatever the hell she wants now. And if she wants me rubbing every visible part of her half-naked body, then so be it.

I permanently burn that mental imagine from earlier into my long-term memory.

"How are we doing this?" I ask, trying to sound calm, but I think a little bit of excitement creeps into my voice, because Spencer grins at me over her shoulder, and then unhooks her bra without turning around so that I'm staring at her completely bare back.

Yeah, that signal's still transmitting loud and clear, but now that I know I'm probably not getting any, I really wish it'd stop.

And now she's pulling her pants down. Great.

I have to bite my lip to keep from groaning.

When she's finally done removing clothes and is left in only her underwear, she crosses her arms over her chest in an unintentional "ha ha you can't see anything" move that leaves me _really_ wanting to groan (but honestly, I think she's still shy about this kind of stuff), then sits down on her bed, and gestures for me to come closer as best as she can without moving her arms. I get the message, though.

"What do you want me to do?" I ask her carefully, trying to keep my voice steady because my fingers are actually itching to touch her now.

"Touch me," she breathes out, and apparently we are on the same page, but there's still a huge reservation at the front of my mind, so I voice it.

"I won't be able to stop," I warn her, glancing over at the door. The hallway light's off, and the whole house is silent around us.

"That's okay," she replies quietly, still sounding a little breathless, and just like that, I have permission to have sex with Spencer in her own bed. "I'm eighteen. If we get caught, I'm already moving out anyway." She leans forward and kisses me before I can argue that she shouldn't have to do that, and both of my hands instantly find her back, sliding up it as slowly as I can manage with my entire body screaming at me to just forget any kind of massage and just try to coax Spencer into having sex. I can't do that to her on her birthday, though, so I break the kiss and maneuver us so that she's lying face-down with her head on her pillow and I'm straddling her waist while my eyes wander all over the parts of her body I can see. I wonder how we're going to explain this if someone walks in, but there really is no way. If Paula catches us, that's it. We're found out.

"I've never done this before," I admit when both of my hands are resting on her shoulders, and Spencer nods to let me know she's heard. "But I'll try to make it feel good."

"You always make me feel good," Spencer mumbles, and geez, she is in the _zone _tonight as far as flirting and sexual innuendos go.

"Yeah?" I reply, moving my hands further down her back, and Spencer relaxes with me, nodding again when I squeeze lightly. For the next ten minutes, I really have no idea what I'm doing, but Spencer moans and "mmm"s a lot, so I guess I must be doing something right.

Eventually, the sounds she's making and the way her skin feels beneath my fingertips is just too much, and I slide back just a little and place my palms on the mattress, pressing my lips to the skin of her lower back and enjoying the way her breath hitches in surprise and she tenses beneath me in that same amazing way she always does when we're in bed together and I do something she likes. I can feel her trying to roll over, but I press one hand to her back gently and she stays still, grabbing hold of her sheets lightly and letting me kiss my way up her back until I reach her shoulders and her neck. "Spencer?" I whisper once my lips are by her ear, and I back off this time, letting her roll over so we can look at each other.

"Yeah?" she replies, reaching up to cup my cheek again, and I close my eyes when her thumb brushes against my skin, opening them a second later so I can look into hers.

I hover over her for a moment, then ask, "Do you trust me?"

"Of course." Spencer leans up and kisses me, already tugging on the hem of my shirt. "I love you," she mumbles against my lips in explanation, and I smile into our kiss, then break it to discard the rest of my clothes. Shirt, pants, bra, underwear…gone. I press myself fully against her when I'm completely naked and she's just got her underwear still on, and she immediately pulls me down for another kiss, then rolls us over so she's on top a moment later. I don't complain, though, because it's her birthday and we're doing whatever she wants to do. "Do _you _trust _me_?"

"Yes."

She dips her head and kisses my neck, shifting a little lower on top of me, and I'm immediately curious as to what exactly she's planning on doing, but my mind's getting hazier and my breathing's getting heavier the lower she goes, until her lips reach my chest and I let my head fall back onto her pillow while my fingers slide into her hair. My body arches into her and feels completely out of my control, like I'm reacting to everything Spencer does before I can think about it.

She slips a little lower after a few minutes, and by now I'm quivering all over the place and I'm aching even worse than I was the first time Spencer topped that night outside of her house, when she was the most dominant I've ever seen her. But now isn't like that at all, even though this is the only time other than that night that Spencer _has _been on top of me, doing stuff like this. Even on prom night, she let me take the lead. Now she's being gentle and loving and I decide that no matter what I say later, _this _is my favorite side of Spencer: the side who touches me so lightly I can barely feel it and kisses me like she's never going to be able to do it again and nips my inner thigh when-

_SCREEECH! _goes my little Spencer-admiring session and I start struggling beneath her almost immediately until she takes the hint and pulls her face away from between my legs, giving me this knowing look while I stare at her with wide eyes. "Ash, I want to."

Judging by what's going on with my body, I really wanted her to too, but common sense tells me that it'd be stupid of me to let her do it tonight, especially since nothing we've done has ever gone in that direction before. "Spence, it's _your _birthday."

She blushes, because that kind of makes it sound like I think the roles should be reversed (and maybe I do), then scoots up so she's on her knees between my legs while I'm propping myself up with both of my hands in front of her. "I know. But you're better at keeping quiet than I am and I want to try this anyway. So let me." She puts both of her hands on either of my thighs and then slowly spreads my legs without taking her eyes off of mine, and I know I probably look like an idiot with my eyes still wide the way they are, but she just leans forward and captures my lips gently with hers, and before I know it, my back's on the bed again and her mouth is working its way back down my body.

One of her hands finds mine and squeezes it lightly, and my fingers curl around hers while I raise my other arm to cover my eyes just because watching all of this would be way too much, and I actually wouldn't mind if the sheets were covering us right about now so that if someone were to walk in they wouldn't see _everything_.

Spencer seems to be on the same wavelength because all of a sudden I feel her blankets being pulled up to cover most of my upper body and all of my lower, and then Spencer's lips are against mine for about a millisecond before she disappears beneath the sheets and I feel her placing gentle kisses up the inside of my thighs. I know I'm quivering again but I can't really do anything to stop it, so I just squeeze Spencer's hand tighter, and a second later her tongue is doing things to me that nobody else's has done in a really long time, except she's doing it _way _better, and I've realized by now that Spencer just has an amazing knack for knowing exactly what I like, or else she's just really good at sex in general.

I have to bite down on my lip so I don't make noise, but a few whimpers slip out anyway, and I'm kind of humiliated at the moment because it's been like two seconds and I'm already fighting off an orgasm and Spencer has to hold my legs apart to stop me from closing them and I really just need her to stop right this second or else I'm gonna-

I barely manage to muffle a moan, but it still comes out louder than I would've liked, and Spencer pulls her face away from me just before my hips jerk and more profanity than I expected slips past my lips, and then waves of something only Spencer can make me feel crash over me with only a few seconds between them. I have no clue how long it lasts, but it feels _amazing_.

Spencer's there when I finally open my eyes, and her lips are curved upward in a small smile that looks both intensely happy and somehow smug at the same time. "You taste good," is the first thing she says, then she smiles when I moan again and lets me kiss her to see for myself. I'm pretty sure more than a couple of minutes pass before we break apart, and when we do, she looks over at her door for a moment, then tucks a strand of my hair behind me ear and smiles back down at me again. "Silence," she points out. "We didn't get caught."

"We're not done yet," I tell her, and she looks surprised when I flip us over and immediately begin tugging her underwear down her legs.

"Aren't you tired?" she asks incredulously, trying to sit up, but I push her back down and settle on top of her, letting my hand slide up from her ankle all the way to her thigh.

"I won't ever be too tired for this," I assure her, moving forward to kiss her neck, and her breath hitches when my fingers find their mark and apply just enough pressure for her to feel me there. "But give me about ten minutes, and _you'll _be exhausted."

* * *

Spencer walks a little funny the next morning, and Glen spits out his cereal when he notices, looking like he might just throw up and refusing to eat anything else after that.

"What's wrong, honey?" Spencer's grandma asks him, patting his back gently while Paula appears at his other side.

He swallows heavily, glances at me for a moment, and then says, "I just remembered that I saw a rat in my room last night."

Both women gasp, then insist on going upstairs to check, and since Arthur and Clay are still in their own rooms getting ready for church, Glen is free to throw his spoon at me once they're gone. "What the _hell_?!"

"Shut up," Spencer says, wincing a little when she stretches up to grab a bowl out of a cabinet above her head. "I'm fine."

"Let me help," I mutter, feeling a little guilty and putting a hand on her arm.

"Hands off my little sister," Glen commands immediately, and I just roll my eyes at him and get the bowl for her myself, then go ahead and pour the milk in and add the cereal for her while I'm at it.

"Relax, it's not like we're going to start going at it right in the middle of the kitchen," I point out.

"Well I wouldn't put it past you, since the fact that _everyone _was home last night, along with our _grandma_, apparently didn't stop you from-" He pulls a face, then gestures towards the two of us loosely. "_You know_."

Spencer sighs as I set the bowl down at the table for her, then makes her way over to it while practicing walking as normally as possible, but I can tell from the look on her face that it hurts.

"I'm sorry," I say for about the hundredth time as I sit down next to her, across from Glen, and she forces a smile, lacing our fingers together while she uses her other hand to pick up her spoon. "Is there anything I can do?"

"No," she admits, leaning forward and kissing me lightly, and Glen averts his gaze out of either politeness or just pure "I don't want to see that right now"ness. "…Just…maybe only use three from now on," Spencer adds quietly with a small little smile that screams mischief, and Glen stands up abruptly.

"God, wait until I leave to talk about this, _please_," he says, dumping his bowl in the sink, and I let go of Spencer's hand when I see her mom and grandmother walk back into the room.

"I'll call someone tomorrow to come get rid of it," Paula tells Glen, who hasn't quite managed to get out of the kitchen yet. "We couldn't find it, but I'm sure they'll be able to. For right now, let's go to church with your grandmother and enjoy her only day left with us."

That's my cue to leave. "I'll see you tomorrow, Spence," I say as offhandedly as I can manage, because I really wish I just scoop her up and take her to my house and take care of her today since what she's going through right now is _my_ fault, even if she didn't complain at the time.

"Okay," she replies, sounding a little saddened, too, and I lean forward and wrap my arms around her for a moment, resisting the urge to hold her just a little bit longer and pulling away before things get too awkward with Paula. "Do you think you could give me a ride home from school?"

We talked about this earlier this morning, and since we both realized that today wasn't a good day for me to sing her one of my songs, we're doing it tomorrow after school. Asking now is just a formality so that Spencer doesn't have to ask for Paula's permission later. "Yeah, no problem." I have to hide a smile when I realize that Paula can't do a damn thing with Spencer's grandmother in the room, so I kiss Spencer's cheek lightly and add, "I'd do anything for you."

Spencer's blushing like crazy when I pull away and stand up, Paula looks like she wants to strangle me, and Glen's got his arms crossed and is still refusing to look directly at any kind of affectionate gestures between Spencer and I.

Just before I close the front door behind me on my way out of Spencer's house, I hear her grandma comment, "Well, isn't she a sweetheart?"


	41. Mother to Daughter

Spencer's grandmother and Clay both leave Sunday night, and Spencer's waiting for me at my locker the next morning with a strangely familiar notebook held against her chest, and I get a little nervous and a little anxious at the same time, because this means she's looked through the whole thing and read all of my songs about her. She's smiling, though, and kisses me before I have a chance to say anything to her, so hopefully those are both supposed to be good signs.

"They're awful, right?" I say anyway, though, because there is a such thing as too nice, and Spencer can be it when she really wants to be.

Spencer rolls her eyes and pushes me back gently so that I'm against my locker, then opens the notebook to a page she has marked with a small strip of paper. "Sing this one?" she suggests hopefully, showing me the song on the page, and oh God, it's the one I wrote the day after the first time we had sex.

"Why that one?" I ask, hoping I'm not blushing in the middle of the hallway.

"Just because." She sighs. "Why don't you want to sing it to me?"

"Spencer, it's called 'Dirty Mind'. Do I really need another reason?"

"That's _your _title, not mine. Not my fault." She pecks me on the lips and closes the notebook. "You said you'd sing a song to me as part of my birthday present, and that's the one I want."

"Alright," I groan out, spotting Aiden and Kyla nearing us and figuring I should end this conversation before Aiden catches sight of The Spencer Notebook and all hell (or teasing) breaks loose. "I'll sing that one. Just put the notebook away before Aiden gets here."

"What, you're ashamed?" Spencer asks, raising an eyebrow and sounding a little hurt.

"Not ashamed. Embarrassed," I hiss, and she rolls her eyes, but puts it into her backpack anyway.

"Well, I was embarrassed _yesterday_, when Mom insisted I do the whole 'confession' thing before we left church, but you weren't there to help," she half-teases, and my mouth falls open in surprise.

"Spencer, you _didn't_."

"No, do you think I'm stupid? The priest definitely would've blabbed to my mom."

I smirk. "Ooh, Spencerrrr…you're totally going to hell, now."

"I think we've already got that covered," she points out, kissing me again for emphasis.

* * *

"Okay, so…hold on, I don't think this is tuned right."

"Naturally," Spencer comments off-handedly in a tone that makes me pause and look over at her.

"What?"

"Nothing. Your car wouldn't start, you couldn't find the right key to your house, the floors needed mopping…"

I clear my throat delicately. "Are you implying something, Spencer?"

"Not at all."

"Alright, then." I return my attention to the acoustic guitar in my lap, twisting at the knobs on it for a few more seconds, then strumming experimentally. "Uh oh. I think one of the strings is-"

"Ash," Spencer interrupts, putting a hand on the stool I'm sitting on and taking hold of my hand with her other one. "Look at me."

I do, but it's reluctant.

"I _love _you…okay?"

"Okay," I mumble.

"There's _nothing _you need to worry about."

"Okay," I repeat, and after much more coaxing from Spencer and about five minutes of making out, I think I might have the guts to actually do this.

"Alright…if this sucks, it's your fault for making me do it," I warn, grinning to let her know I'm joking, and Spencer wipes away the remainder of my doubts with one look and a warm smile.

And I sing.

* * *

"Hey, are you busy?" I ask, leaning against the doorframe of Kyla's room. She's lying on her bed, reading a magazine and listening to music, but she sits up when she hears me and sets the magazine down on the bed next to her.

"Yeah, but I can squeeze you in," she replies, smiling and patting the bed, then looking over at the doorway curiously once I've sat down next to her. "Spencer's not still here? I should've known; you're spending time with _me_, after all." She catches the look I'm giving her, and laughs, bumping her shoulder into mine playfully. "Relax, Ash, I'm kidding. What's up?"

"I sang her one of my songs," I blurt out, and Kyla doesn't look surprised like I expected.

"I know. I came home and saw you two in your studio together. She was all over you, so I figured you wouldn't want me interrupting. I'm guessing that was _after _you sang, though?"

"It might've been before," I admit, furrowing my eyebrows. "But it was probably after." I pause, shifting a little so I'm sitting cross-legged, then staring down at my lap. "She says if I wanted, I could do it…you know, like, as a career. That I'm really good."

"Well, I've been saying that forever, Ash. You could. But you've always said you never really wanted to be famous or perform in front of audiences."

"I don't know," I admit sheepishly, glancing at her. "The idea's kind of growing on me now that I have something…some_one_… to inspire me. I love writing songs and I've always loved singing them, just not in front of other people. But if you say I'm good and Spencer does too, then…maybe I'm meant to follow in Daddy's footsteps after all, you know?"

"Well, _I _definitely can't do it," Kyla points out with a smirk. "I can't sing. So maybe there's a reason you _can_."

I bite my lip, closing my eyes and sighing quietly, and I hear Kyla pick up her magazine again. When I open my eyes, she's gone back to reading it. "Yeah. Maybe."

* * *

_"This _is your plan?"

"What?" Spencer asks a little defensively, looking from me, to the large suitcase on her bed, then back to me again. "What's wrong with it? I pack this now, and then when I want to tell her, I'll have clothes and stuff ready when I need it."

"You don't have a car," I point out. "You'd have to call me for a ride anyway, so instead of hiding this thing under your bed until whenever you decide to tell, you could just give it to me and I'll already have it at my house so you won't have to lug it around. Or you should at least talk to your dad about this beforehand, so he knows what's going on."

"Trust me. I've thought about it, and this is gonna work," she says, abandoning her suitcase to come give me a kiss by her bedroom door, which is now closed, because the last thing we need is for Paula to walk in on Spencer packing. "_And _I've already talked to Dad, and he's cool with me moving in with you and Kyla for the summer. The only problem is coming back later for _more _stuff, because the only thing going into this suitcase are the basics." She sighs. "Anyway, I'm probably going to tell her Friday night so she has the weekend to soak it in before she has to go back to work on Monday."

"Aw, look at you, being all considerate," I tease, and Spencer sticks her tongue out at me, retreating to her suitcase and examining her dresser for anything else she might want to add.

"Hey, Ash?" she asks over her shoulder, smiling once she has my attention. "I know we usually don't, but could you lock the door this time? I really don't wan-"

The door flies open just as I'm reaching over to lock it, and I jerk my hand away in shock because the door nearly just detached it from my wrist. "Spencer, I know Ashley's here, but dinner's ready…"

Paula stands in the doorway for a moment, eyeing the rather large and extremely prominent suitcase in plain view on Spencer's bed, and I feel like an idiot just standing here with my mouth open, but Spencer doesn't look much better.

"Spencer, are you _packing_?"

The question is: what do we do now?

"Um…yeah," Spencer replies carefully, clearly recovering way before I do. After we had sex here the other night and didn't get caught, I really thought we could get away with anything.

"…Why…?" Paula questions slowly, looking over at me like she expects _me _to answer, and all that does is remind me to close my mouth and at least attempt to look composed.

"Because I'm moving in with Ashley," Spencer comments like they're talking about the weather, leaning over the suitcase and closing the top, then starting to zip it up. My mouth drops open again. I wasn't exactly expecting her to be so honest.

"Why would you move in with Ashley?" Paula asks incredulously, laughing a little like she can't believe it, and Spencer glances at me for just a second, but it's enough to let me know that this is it.

She picks the suitcase up off of her bed and offers it to me, silently conveying with her eyes that I should just go ahead and take this to my car before Mount Paula erupts, and I really don't want to leave her alone with her mom like this, but she presses the suitcase into my hands, forcing me to take it, then mouths "Wait in the car."

I give the smallest of nods and close my eyes for a moment, then turn and brush past Paula and out of the bedroom, heading down the stairs and to the front door. Glen and Arthur take one look at me with the suitcase and immediately get up to go to Spencer's bedroom.

I'm sitting in my car with the suitcase in the backseat about a minute later, staring down at my lap and waiting with baited breath for this all to just be over. I'm tempted to go back inside and make sure Spencer's okay, and have to remind myself several times that Arthur's there and he'd never let Paula hurt Spencer.

The front door flies open all of a sudden, and Spencer storms out, calling over her shoulder, "I'm eighteen; you can't do a damn thing about it!" and anyone with ears and eyes can tell she's pissed.

"Spencer, get back here this instant!" That's Paula, who follows Spencer outside but doesn't leave the front porch; just watches Spencer go to my car, and I feel horrible now because even though I don't like Paula, it's like I'm watching a family fall apart in front of my eyes, and I feel like the cause of it. "Do you hear me!? Alright…fine! Your college fund's _gone_!"

"Like I care!"

"I'll pay for you to go to college, Spence," I say meekly once she's in the car.

Spencer puts her seatbelt on, then turns to look at me. "Don't be ridiculous, Ash. Dad won't let her do that."

"What _happened _in there? What did you say to her?" I question anxiously, squeezing the steering wheel as we practically speed away from the Carlin residence.

"I didn't really have to say much. I think she just knew. The second you were out of the house she starting shouting." Her cell phone goes off before she can continue, and she pulls it out and looks down at it while I glance over at her. "It's Glen. Hello?"

I can barely hear Glen's voice coming through from the other end, and he sounds either scared or pissed. I can't tell. "_Spencer, what did you _do? _Hell, what are you _doing_?_"

"I just need to get away from Mom right now."

"_By moving in with Ashley?_"

Spencer sighs before replying, "I already got permission from Dad, and I'm only staying with Ashley for the summer. Look, we both knew this wasn't going to go well, and I needed somewhere to stay while things blow over."

"_Okay, but Mom's freaking out. She's threatening to call the cops."_

I shoot Spencer an incredulous look, not sure if this is such a good idea if there's a possibility that I'll get arrested or something, and she shakes her head and rolls her eyes. "She didn't _kidnap _me, and you better make sure Mom knows that. As of Saturday, I'm an adult, so there's nothing she can do."

_"So you're serious about this, then?"_

"Glen, I packed a suitcase and told my mom she's made my life a living hell for the past six months. I'm serious."

I try not to look too surprised, and inwardly wonder what else Spencer said while Glen takes a moment to reply. _"Well…is there anything you need me to do?"_

Spencer smiles a little, then says, "No, that's okay. We've got everything covered."

"Your other stuff," I hiss to her quickly.

"Oh, that's right! Um, you know where Ash and Kyla live, right Glen?"

_"Nope_."

"Okay, well I'll give you directions as long as you promise not to pass them on to Mom. I need you to bring some stuff over later this week, just extra things I'm going to need to stay there for a couple of months."

_"Alright. Just…let me know when, I guess." _

"Thanks, Glen," she replies, snapping her phone shut a moment later and then resting her head against the seat and closing her eyes as she heaves another sigh. "This is crazy."

"Yeah, I know. Glen's actually being helpful."

Spencer looks over at me with one eyebrow raised, and I smile at her, reaching over to hold her hand.

"It'll be okay, Spence."

* * *

"The walls are thin, remember?" Kyla peeks into my room to warn us while we're sitting on my bed together, tapping on the one next to her for emphasis.

"You're hilarious," I deadpan while Spencer just smiles weakly next to me. She's been a little subdued ever since we got back here, but that's pretty understandable after what's already happened tonight.

"Just thought I'd let you know, since Spencer'll be sleeping in your bed for the next like eighty nights or so."

"We get it," I assure her. "Goodnight."

"Alright, alright…just trying to lighten the mood a little," Kyla replies, raising her hands defensively and then reaching for the doorknob. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Kyla," Spencer says politely, even waving goodbye to her, too, and I just roll my eyes and scoot back a little, then lie down so that I'm facing Spencer.

"Feeling any better?"

"A little. It's all starting to sink in, at least. That my family won't ever be the same again."

"Well, that's not necessarily a bad thing," I point out. "Your mom's kind of a psycho bitch and Glen used to be a douchebag, but he's better now and maybe soon she will be, too."

Spencer gives me a small smile and scoots closer to me, then closes her eyes as she grabs my hand and laces our fingers together. "You can be my new family," she suggests, nuzzling her face into my neck, and I blush a little when I realize that Spencer still can give me butterflies with just a few words.

"Spence?"

"Hmm?"

"I want to say something to you…but I'm afraid it might freak you out."

She leans back a little and opens her eyes, sliding one of her hands to my shoulder and squeezing lightly. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's _wrong_…" I force a laugh. "I mean, I lot of things are wrong right now, but this…it's a good thing. I think. If it doesn't freak you out, it's a good thing." She just stares at me, waiting patiently, and I open my mouth, but end up shaking my head and laughing again. "Forget it; it's stupid. I don't even really _need _to say it but I just thought maybe it'd be better to get everything out in the open."

"If there's something you want to tell me, you shouldn't ever be afraid to say it, Ash," Spencer whispers carefully, snuggling up to me again and relaxing, and I nod more to myself than to her, because she can't see it anyway.

"Have you ever been…well, I guess you probably haven't, but it's just…" I pause for a moment, a little embarrassed, and finish, "I just…I love you so much that I know I'll never need anyone else, and I know we've talked about the future before…but you're going to college soon and I'm just terrified that something will happen and I'll lose you and I'll never be this happy again. And I really can't lose you, Spence. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"You won't lose me," Spencer assures me, kissing me on the cheek lightly, and I know for sure that she's gotten what I'm trying to say when she adds, "You're _my _one, too."

* * *

"Spencer, someone wants to see you in the office."

Spencer and I both look up from our Contemporary Lit books, and just as Spencer's standing up, my phone starts buzzing in my purse, and I pull it out quickly, hiding it under my desk to read the text message Kyla has apparently just sent me.

**I was on my way back from the bathroom and I just saw Spencer's mom walk into the school!**

"Can I go to the bathroom?" I ask hastily, getting the idea from the text message itself, and Spencer pauses at the doorway, shooting me a confused look as Mrs. Yorke gives me the bathroom pass. She lets me catch up to her before we leave the room together.

"Kyla just texted me," I tell her once we're in the hallway. "She says she saw your mom."

"Are you kidding me?" Spencer hisses, peeking around the corner so she can see the office down at the end of the next hallway. "She came here looking for me?"

"After last night, I'm not surprised she's stalking you now. We're going to have to switch vehicles and stuff on our way home."

"I can't do this with her at school," Spencer groans out, pretty much ignoring my comment.

"I could play messenger," I offer, trying not to sound too reluctant and already imagining several ways Paula could attempt to kill me with her bare hands if I were to get anywhere near her.

"Only if you have a death wish," Spencer mutters right on cue, and I grimace, peeking around the corner myself this time. Paula's pacing back and forth at the end of the hallway, too angry to even notice us watching her.

"You're right. I don't wanna die."

"Fuck," Spencer breathes out, crossing her arms just below her chest and shutting her eyes tightly, and I look over at her incredulously. I've never heard her drop the F bomb before…aside from certain more intimate situations where it can be excused. "I have to go talk to her or they'll just call me down to the office again."

"Maybe she'll leave eventually," I offer, and Spencer shoots me a disbelieving look. "Yeah, you're right. But you can't _go_, either. She'll tear you apart."

"Oh, and you think _you'd _get treated better?"

"No…" I brighten suddenly. "Let's skip."

"She'll come back tomorrow."

"Oh, yeah." I pause. "Let's go to Cabo."

"We can't go to _Cabo_; I have to graduate in two weeks."

"Told you diplomas are _stupid_," I hiss in her ear even as we're both still staring around the corner at Paula, and all of a sudden, she looks up sharply and spots us. "_Shit!" _

Spencer throws her arm out and pushes me back around the corner, pressing me against the wall and then leaning forward to kiss me gently, to my surprise. "I'm going to go talk to her. There's nothing I have to say to her that I didn't already say last night, so I'll just have to let her know that this is the way things are and she's just going to have to accept it."

"And what if she _won't _accept it?"

"Then she loses a daughter," Spencer retorts firmly, pecking me on the lips one last time and then letting go of me and hurrying around the corner. I stand still for a moment, chewing on my lip, then groan loudly before hurrying back to class.


	42. Live Performance

"She wants to go to therapy," Spencer tells me the next chance she gets, which happens to be right before our last class of the day, while we're at our lockers. Kyla and Aiden are with us.

"She didn't yell at you?" I ask, surprised, and Spencer shakes her head simply.

"I could tell she wanted to, but…I think she had some kind of deal with my dad that prevented her from losing her temper. Or she at least talked to him or something. I guess he finally put his foot down."

"That would explain the therapy," Kyla points out.

"So are you going to do it?" I ask. "It'd be like a family thing, right, so Paula would be outnumbered anyway. Maybe it's a good idea, as long as the therapist isn't one of those guys that tries to make you straight or something."

"If Dad organized this, it wouldn't be like that," Spencer mutters. "And it's, um…not _family _therapy, per se. Or…it _would _be, but you're…invited to go too. If you want."

I wince instinctively, immediately thinking back to my own experiences in therapy, which only makes Spencer look even more embarrassed. I have a lot of bad shrink memories. "Okay, let me get this straight: your _mom _wants not only to go to therapy with a _real _therapist that won't try to 'turn you back' or anything, but she's also inviting _me_?"

"I think so."

"What's the catch? Is every chair going to be equipped with a trapdoor beneath it that leads to some fiery pit Paula can send us to if she doesn't like what she's hearing?" I shake my head reluctantly. "I don't want to do it, Spence, but I think you should if you really think it'll help. If I go, it'll just be me and your mom arguing the whole time. This should be just a family thing."

"I think Ash is right, Spence," Aiden adds helpfully. "Paula and Ashley in a room together for an extended period of time doesn't exactly sound like the best option right now."

Spencer sighs, nodding half-heartedly. "You know, everyone keeps saying my mom will 'come around', especially Dad. And I don't understand what he's seeing that I'm not."

* * *

Glen stops by Saturday morning with Spencer's stuff, and Kyla and Spencer are still asleep, leaving me to answer the door.

"Let's see…I've got…_way _too many Kelly Clarkson posters, Spence's favorite stuffed animal from when she was little, her old camcorder that we thought got lost in the move but I _actually _found in a box in her closet, a few old yearbooks from Ohio, the laptop Grandma gave her last Christmas, her mp3 player, aaaaand…" He takes a peek into the only thing left in his hands: a small, brown box, before handing it over to me. "Old family photos."

"Thanks," I reply, giving him a small smile before I turn to go set everything down on the kitchen counter. Glen leads against the doorframe, looking into the house with interest, and I gesture towards the living room. "Do you want to come in?"

"Nah, I'm fine here." He glances towards the stairs, instinctively (and correctly) guessing where my room is, then asks, "Is Spencer still asleep?"

"Yeah. She's pretty exhausted," I admit, and I don't mean it in a perverted way this time, so I'm glad Glen doesn't end up taking it that way.

"Rough week?" he guesses.

"Slightly." I run a hand through my hair, returning to the front door and then crossing my arms. "She isn't sure whether or not to do the therapy thing."

"I already told Dad I'd go. What about you?"

I shake my head, shrugging. "I think it should be a family thing."

Glen snorts. "And you aren't her family?"

"A _biological _family thing," I correct, chewing on my bottom lip for a few quiet moments while Glen just watches me. "Thanks. For…you know, helping out. Bringing Spencer's stuff over."

"Yeah, well…I'm trying this new thing where I'm nice to the people I care about."

I force a laugh. "Yeah, sure. What _are_ you getting out of this, exactly?"

"Well…I figure once you and Spencer get married and are ready to have kids, you're gonna need a donor, and maybe you'll look back on this moment and think, 'Glen and I should do it the old-fashioned way'."

He wiggles his eyebrows, and I roll my eyes, putting a hand on the door. "No thanks. I think I got enough of you when you forced me to make out with you in front of your whole family."

Glen smiles a little at that, scratching the back of his head sheepishly. "Yeah. Sorry about that. Sorry for…everything, I guess. I was an ass." He sighs. "Just…don't hurt my little sister, alright? I'll feel stupid for doing all of this stuff for the two of you if it just turns out to be this huge train wreck."

"Somehow, I doubt things can get worse than they are right now," I point out.

"Yeah, well…Dad's trying his best to fix it all. That's what he does best." He sighs, then turns to glance back at his car. "Anyway, I should go."

"Okay." I hesitate for a second, then step forward and wrap my arms around him, and Glen seems surprised, but hugs me back anyway. "See you around…you know, wherever the hell you hang out these days."

"Tell Spence to call me if she needs anything else," Glen says once I've pulled away, and I nod once, hardly believing this is the same guy who was doing everything he could to keep us apart just a few weeks ago.

It gives me hope that maybe even someone like Paula can change.

* * *

"Who whazzat?" Spencer mumbles into her (my) pillow when she hears me come back into my room and shut the door behind me, and I make my way over to the bed and grab onto her hand, pulling lightly in an effort to get her to sit up. She groans into the pillow and refuses to budge.

"Come on, Spence. I brought coffee…" I sing out, and she shakes her head emphatically without even looking at me. "Please? I even made it just the way you like it."

I set the coffee on my nightstand and sit down next to Spencer, sweeping her hair off to the side and kissing the back of her neck lightly. I'm not surprised when she still doesn't move; getting Spencer up in the morning has been the most difficult part of my day ever since she started staying here three nights ago. "I don't wanna get up. This pillow smells like you."

But I guess I don't mind all that much.

"_I _smell like me," I point out, and she's still for a moment, before finally letting out a small huff and pushing herself up enough to rest her head on my shoulder instead.

"What are we doing today?" she mumbles, and I bite my lip nervously because she's just reminded me of tonight and what I let Kyla talk me into doing.

"I mean to talk to you about that," I start, and Spencer must hear the slight edge to my voice, because she pulls away and looks at me, wide awake now. "I thought about what you said, and about what Kyla's _been _saying…about my music, you know?"

Spencer raises an eyebrow at me, her lips already spreading into a smile. "Really?"

"Kyla, um…well, you know Gray, right? We were there that one time together, and then we went there with Glen, too? That was him at the door, by the way. He brought more of your stuff over."

"Don't change the subject," Spencer replies, poking my shoulder. "What about Gray?"

"Kyla…_may _have talked me into playing there tonight."

Spencer gapes at me in surprise. "_No _way."

"I know," I reply, flushing. "I said it was a bad idea but she's making me do it, and I'm already scheduled to perform a song and everything so-"

She lets out a squeal and flings her arms around me, practically tackling me to the bed. "I'm allowed to come watch, right? _Please?_"

"If you want…" I mumble, embarrassed, and Spencer squeezes me tighter and then kisses me on the forehead, hovering over me excitedly for a moment while I manage a shaky smile.

"You're nervous?" she asks, tilting her head to the side slightly.

"Yeah," I admit quietly. "A little. A lot."

"Well, you shouldn't be. You're gonna be awesome, Ash." She frowns, then pushes me all of a sudden, but it doesn't really do anything since I'm already lying down on the bed. "Why didn't you tell me?!"

"I only decided to do it yesterday," I tell her, pouting and reaching up to play with her hair.

"Then you should've told me then."

"Well, you've been stressed out enough as it is, so there was no reason to add _my _drama to what you already have to deal with."

"This isn't _drama_," she defends. "It's good news." She leans forward, her expression softening as she runs her fingers lightly over my cheek. "And I could use some of that right about now, you know?"

"Hey Ash, and you making breakfast or should I?" Kyla pauses in the doorway, raising an eyebrow when she gets a good look at us, and I sit up quickly while Spencer moves back so she's sitting on her legs. "Am I interrupting something?"

"Yes," I say at the same time Spencer says the opposite, and we exchange looks for a moment, until Spencer laughs lightly and kisses me on the cheek, then hops out of bed and stretches her arms up in the air.

Her shirt rises a couple inches and I'm stuck staring as Spencer comments, "You know what? I'll make breakfast this morning. You two don't have to take care of me, okay?"

"If you insist," Kyla replies immediately, obviously not reluctant to be relieved of cooking duty this morning, and Spencer grabs the coffee I brought her, kisses me one more time, and then practically skips out of my bedroom, passing a confused Kyla on the way out. "What's with her?"

"I guess she's just trying to make the best of things," I reply. "Something we all should probably be doing, huh?"

"Hey, you're the one that's been depressed," Kyla retorts, walking over to my bed and sitting down next to me. "I thought you'd be happy that Spencer's living with us."

"I _am _happy," I tell her honestly. "I like that she's living with us, it's just…"

Kyla gives me a knowing look. "It's not your fault, you know. Just because Spencer loves you doesn't make you the reason her mom's been such a bitch to her over the past few months, _or _the reason she doesn't feel comfortable enough with her family to keep living with them anymore."

I sigh, shrugging hopelessly. "I know. But that doesn't stop me from feeling guilty."

* * *

I postpone discussing the possibility of living together with Spencer after she starts college, because enough is already going on with both of us right now, and the last thing I want to bring up is more problems, especially ones that we technically don't have to face for another two months or so. Besides, while Spencer might still say no to me moving closer to her college if I were to ask her _now_, maybe after living with me for two straight months and getting a taste of what it's like, she'll say yes once I make the suggestion later.

At any rate, I don't want to force any more conflicts into her head, because this is all swirling around in _my _mind at the moment and I can definitely tell that this isn't a feeling Spencer would want to experience.

Or maybe I'm just in so much turmoil right now because I have five more minutes before I go onstage at Gray.

"If she refuses to go up there, you go for her left arm and I'll go for her right, and we'll drag her up ourselves," I can hear Kyla whispering to Spencer just a few feet away, and I glance at them just in time to see Spencer nod her head determinedly.

God, even my own girlfriend's siding with my sister over me on this one.

I turn back towards the current performer hastily, trying to pay attention, but all I can think about is how I can tell this song's coming to an end and the fact that I haven't even decided which one of my songs I should play yet. "Dirty Mind" has become Spencer's special song in my mind, and I don't ever intend on playing it for anyone other than her, but that only eliminates one song choice in a list of many, and I'm really wishing Aiden would get back with that drink I requested.

"Here you go, Ash." He says, appearing next to me just when I thought he wasn't going to show up in time. "A brought you a Coke."

"Aiden, I asked for a _shot_. Your hearing must really suck," I chastise, taking it from him anyway.

"I forgot my fake ID," he admits, embarrassed. "And Gray is more responsible than Ego. They don't serve minors here; you know that."

"You shouldn't drink soda before you sing," Spencer cuts in, and now she's apparently stopped plotting with Kyla in order to come over here and steal my Coke, but the normalcy of Aiden being stupid and Spencer teasing me is enough to ease my nerves for the next thirty seconds or so.

Then there's someone new standing at the microphone and he's introducing me, and Kyla and Spencer are nudging me onstage while Aiden is now holding the Coke. I watch him take a sip of it before I remember that a lot of people are watching _me_ now and I still have no idea what to sing. I have so many songs in so many notebooks that all the lyrics I've ever written are blending together in my mind and even titles of songs are mixing. I grab the acoustic guitar sitting on a stand onstage and sit down on a stool in front of a microphone, facing people that are drinking and having a good time and mostly just staring up at me.

Somebody mutters something to his friend about hearing that I'm Raife Davies's daughter, and I realize that I have a reputation to uphold here, that I can't just stumble up onstage with no song in mind and make a complete fool of myself. I'm Ashley Davies, daughter of famous rocker Raife Davies, I _know _I can sing, and I need to just get it together. I'm good at this, good at writing songs and music and good at _playing _music and singing lyrics I've written, and it's really the only thing I _am _actually good at other than sex, and for whatever reason, I have this talent, so I shouldn't let it go to waste. So I should just suck it up and go with the flow.

I discover that I kind of like singing in front of crowds, a lot more than I thought I would, anyway, and it's kind of an adrenaline rush to sit there and sing songs straight from my heart with lyrics _I_ wrote and not know what anyone's thinking until I'm done. And hearing people clap and whistle and even stand up in several cases _while _they're clapping and whistling is making me feel a lot like how I remember feeling back when I got high for the first few times, or how I still feel when Spencer kisses me.

Suddenly, I want to do this every night.

* * *

"You were amazing tonight," Spencer tells me while we're sitting on the couch in the living room later that night. Well, Spencer's sitting; I'm lying down with my head in her lap and she's running her fingers through my hair while _Mean Girls _plays on the television in front of us.

"Thanks," I reply, smiling to myself even as I'm fighting to keep my eyes open. Spencer's fingers feel so good right now and in the back of my mind I'm thinking about other things they could do that would feel good, but most of me is just exhausted after tonight and ready to fall asleep. Even if Kyla's over at Aiden's and Spencer and I are home alone. Ugh. I hate being tired. "Spence?"

"Yeah?"

"Have you looked at the stuff Glen brought over this morning?"

"Some of it. He found my old camcorder, which is perfect for the project I have to do for graduation."

"You have to do a graduation project?"

"Well, _technically _it's optional, but I want to do it. Just something simple, though."

"Like what?"

"I haven't decided yet, but I'm leaning towards interviewing a bunch of people, maybe asking them where they see themselves in five or ten years."

I force a laugh, remembering the last time I tried doing something like that. "I did that once, only I interviewed a bunch of people about their first times. Back before you showed up, of course."

"You mean like sex?"

"No, their first times riding a bike," I retort sarcastically, sitting up and bending my legs beneath me. "Yeah, sex."

"Who'd actually _do _that?" Spencer asks, wrinkling her nose. "Did anyone actually give you their stories?"

"Yup. Aiden and Chelsea and Sean did. This was back before Kyla, too. And I did both of my own, of course."

"Both?"

I raise an eyebrow. "Boy and girl?"

Spencer blushes, looking down at her lap. "Oh. Right."

I bite my lip, noticing she's trying to hide her curiosity, and before I can help myself, I blurt out, "But my third first time was the best."

Spencer laughs, probably because I said "third first time", then gets this confused look on her face like she can't figure out what I'm talking about. "What-?"

"My first time with someone I loved," I tell her, and she smiles, leaning towards me.

"Aww…wait." She pauses, furrowing her eyebrows all of a sudden. "You _are _talking about me, right?" I shoot her a look, and she laughs, pulling me towards her by the front of my shirt until I'm practically straddling her. "Just checking." Her lips find mine and her hands settle in my hair, and suddenly I'm not so tired anymore. Spencer's tongue in my mouth is definitely a good way to keep me up.

We kiss for a while, softly and lightly, until Spencer pulls me closer and slides her hands just barely under my shirt, resting them on my back while she moves to kiss my neck, and I'm just starting to wonder if we're really gonna do it on Kyla and I's couch (because we _have _done it in crazier places; see: outside Spencer's house on a pile of clothes. Multiple times.), when Spencer pulls away and breathes out in my ear, "Do you wanna go upstairs?"

Why, yes. Yes I do.


	43. The Lunch from Hell

I wake up to the sound of that song from _The Wizard of Oz _that always plays in the background when the wicked witch shows up, and when I glance over at my nightstand, in the direction of the noise, I see Spencer's cell phone ringing. I sigh, then roll over in my bed and snuggle up closer to Spencer, grinning sleepily when I realize she's still naked.

My eyes are sliding shut again five minutes later, when the phone goes off again. Same ringtone means same person, so I groan, sitting up and rubbing my eyes with one hand while reaching for the phone with the other. "Hello?" I answer sleepily without checking the caller ID.

_"Spencer?" _

The voice on the other end is sharp and curt and I guess the ringtone should've given it away anyway, but I was too sleepy to think until now.

"Uh…" Well…this is awkward. I'm talking to Paula for the first time since Spencer came out. "No."

There's a long pause on the other end, and then a stiff, _"Put Spencer on."_

"She's asleep."

_"Wake her up."_

I grit my teeth, looking over at Spencer's face, which is all relaxed and peaceful, complete with a small, content smile, and I almost say no before I realize that wouldn't be the best idea if Paula and I are going to be spending the rest of our lives in the same family. Which is very possible at this point, if I do say so myself. "One second."

I put the phone down and lean over Spencer, kissing her on the forehead, and mumbling, "Wake up, sleepyhead…"

Her eyes flutter open a moment later, after I've pulled away, and a wider smile spreads across her face when she looks up at me. It takes me a second to realize I'm still naked, too.

"Good morning," I say anyway, grinning down at her.

She sits up slowly, then stretches her arms up over her head and says, "Mmm…yes, it is." She reaches for my hand and plays with my fingers for a moment, before adding (rather loudly), "Last night was _so _amazing…"

That brings me back down to Earth, and I nearly have a heart attack when I glance over at the phone. Spencer gets this confused look on her face and follows my gaze.

"You're mom's on the phone for you," I mutter.

"Oh."

_Awkward._

* * *

_"No_, Spencer. Seriously. I love you, but not this much."

"You look cute," Spencer pouts, staring into the mirror across from us, and I cross my arms, huffing loudly.

"No."

"Yes."

"_No_."

She sighs. "What if tonight I-?"

"No. There is no sexual favor in the world that can make me go to church with you and your family. I don't even know why _you're _going."

"Ash, it's the perfect time for you to start spending time with my whole family as my girlfriend. Nobody there knows either of us is gay, so Mom can't flip out on you in front of them without giving it away, which means things are guaranteed to be civil, like they were with my grandmother. Plus, it'll make a good impression on her for you to go with me. And after church we usually go out to lunch, which is still in a public place so she can't throw a fit, and it'll give us all time to talk. Just once, _pleeease?"_

I feel like crying. "Spencer, do you _see _what I'm wearing?"

"Yes, and I think you look good."

"It's not me."

She sighs. Again. "Look, I know you've got the whole rebellious skimpy clothing thing going on, and trust me, it's super sexy and way appealing to me as your girlfriend, but all you have to do is wear this for like six hours and that's it."

"Did your mom even invite me?" I question, already knowing the answer. But I've already got loads of arguments built up and ready to go, and this is the next one in line.

I gasp suddenly as Spencer opens her mouth. "Oh my god, Spencer…today's Mother's Day, too."

"I know, and she wants me to go, and you'd have to give me a ride anyway, so you might as well just come inside, too." She gives me a small smile. "You can help her celebrate."

This is such a bad idea. "Spencer," I say firmly, turning to face her, and she stares me down just as intently. I pretend I'm not afraid of the look in her eyes. "I'm not going."

* * *

"I haven't been to church since I was a little kid, I'm a lesbian, and technically, I'm not Catholic," I point out even as Spencer is dragging me to the entrance of her family's chosen church. "What if something bad happens to me when I step inside?"

"You're not gonna catch fire, Ash," Spencer says without turning around, and her grip on my hand tightens just as I open my mouth again. "Or get struck by lightning, or whatever the hell you're thinking. Come on."

"Shit," I mutter suddenly, spotting Paula, Arthur, and Glen over near the front doors. "_Spencerrrr_…"

"Don't do that once we get inside," she reminds me curtly, and I seriously think I might cry. Really.

"You said hell," I shoot back in response, just being annoying now because she's making me do this and I'm mad at her at the moment.

"Hell's allowed."

"And shit isn't?"

"_No._"

"So it _is _allowed?"

"Ashley…"

I bite down my lip and decide to shut up, because Spencer's family has just spotted me, and while Arthur gives me a friendly smile and Glen cracks up at what I'm wearing, Paula looks ready to break out the torches and pitchforks. Evidently, what she overheard this morning hasn't exactly improved her opinion of me.

"Spencer," is her greeting, and even her own daughter's name comes out a bit stiffly, reminding me that things aren't exactly amazing between the two of them right now, either. She can't even say _my _name, though, so Arthur does it for her.

"Hello, Ashley. It's very considerate of you to come with us today."

"Uninvited," Paula adds through clenched teeth, and that's it, I'm out of here.

"Ash, stop," Spencer orders when she feels me tugging on her hand, and Paula's eyes shoot to where our hands are joined, like she's just now noticed it. "I invited her, Mom. And she was nice enough to agree to come with us."

Glen looks like he thinks this whole thing is hilarious, which means it's up to Spencer and her dad to play peacemaker while Paula and I glare at each other for approximately the next two minutes. Finally, she says, "Spencer, I need to talk to you. Alone."

Spencer's hand leaves mine while her mom tugs her away, and I contemplate running away for all of five seconds before I notice that Glen and Arthur are grinning and smiling down at me, respectively.

"You're so whipped," Glen finally says, and I just sigh, letting him pull me in for a sympathetic hug.

"I can't do this for six hours," I mumble into his shirt, and he pats me on the back for a moment, letting go when Arthur puts a hand on my shoulder.

"I think it's a wonderful thing you're doing, Ashley. I'm sure Spencer appreciates it, too." He pauses for a moment, looking over his shoulder, and I follow his gaze to where Spencer and Paula are clearly arguing in hushed tones just a few feet away from us. "Why don't we go inside and sit down?"

He puts an arm around me and guides me inside, and I see rows and rows of these little brown wooden benches. We sit down on one, and Glen scoots over a little to make room for Spencer to sit down next to me. I smile over at him thankfully, and he winks. I decide Glen's cooler than I give him credit for.

When Paula and Spencer come back inside, Paula sits down on the other side of Arthur, and Spencer sits down between Glen and me, giving me a small smile in response to my questioning look.

"Just be on your best behavior," she advises quietly, so I roll my eyes but sit completely still, my hands in my lap and my legs crossed politely. Like a _lady_. Paula glances at me every few seconds, and I see it out of the corner of my eye, but keep my eyes focused on the man in front. I can feel Spencer's shoulder and arm brushing against me every few seconds, though, and with last night still fresh in my head, I am forced to use every ounce of self-discipline I have to push all urges and dirty thoughts from my mind. We're in a church, after all. I do have _some _manners.

Okay, no I don't. This is seriously starting to get to me. Her skin's just so _smooth_ and I can feel the heat radiating from her body. Kind of like I could last night. Her skin was smooth then, too.

My mind has now entered the gutter, and it's not coming out anytime soon.

I'm totally going to Hell.

_Spencer kissing me; Spencer pulling my shirt over my head; Spencer nibbling on my collarbone; Spencer kissing me; Spencer's hand rubbing my stomach; Spencer kissing me; Spencer breathing heavily in my ear; Spencer's fingers-_

Aah! Okay. Stop.

I open my eyes hastily, realizing the man has stopped talking and everyone is standing up, and I'm thinking maybe this is one of those places that sings lots of songs and stuff during service, but nope, everyone is filing out of their seats and mingling amiably while several people start to head for the door.

Oh my God. I've just fantasized my way through the entire thing.

I am _so _going to Hell.

"So how was it? Not too bad, right?" Spencer asks me, grinning once we're out in the open with everyone else, instead of on those hard wooden benches that I'm sure have a specific name I just can't remember, and I swallow heavily, then nod.

"Fun." I wince, my mind flashing back to images of Spencer and I doing dirty things again, but Spencer turns away to talk to someone that's just walked up to us, and doesn't seem to notice. When I manage to pull myself out of my mind again, I have to keep myself from gaping.

"This is my friend Ashley, Patrick," Spencer says politely, like she didn't turn him down that one time on the date Paula set up. And she called me her _friend_, which I know she really has to do since we're in church with a bunch of people just like Paula, but still. It hurts.

"Hi, Ashley," he replies in the same polite tone Spencer used, but his eyes say "Well, Spencer wasn't interested, so maybe this one will be." I plaster a smile to my face, shaking his hand.

Meanwhile, Glen's flirting with some girl he probably just met even though he's dating Madison, and Spencer's parents are a few feet away, talking to another happy-looking couple that could easily be just as fake as Paula's being. Maybe they have a gay daughter, too. Kinda makes you wonder how many dirty little secrets everyone in here's keeping from their fellow Catholics, you know?

"Anyway, we're all going out to lunch, so Ash and I are gonna grab Glen and go," Spencer cuts in, clearly wanting to get away from Patrick, and gestures for me to follow her before she turns and heads in Glen's direction. I don't miss the fact that she doesn't grab my hand like she normally would, but I let it go and follow her anyway, waving goodbye to Patrick just to be polite.

We've got Glen and we're on our way back to Paula and Arthur when I notice Patrick standing by the couple they're talking to, which means they must be his parents.

I hate how I can just look at Paula by now and tell she's up to something.

Apparently, Patrick and his parents are joining us for lunch. Wonderful.

We're on our way to the restaurant a couple minutes later, me and Spencer in my car, following her parents, while Patrick's family follows _us_, and I'm giving her one-worded answers that are probably letting her know something's up.

"I'm sure it'll be fine."

"Yeah."

"Patrick's parents are nice, anyway. We see them every week."

"Yup."

"And I've been to the place we're eating at. It's nice, too."

"Sure."

"Ash…"

"Mhmm?"

"I know this sucks, okay? But it's just one meal. And now my mom doesn't have a chance to be a bitch over lunch, either, since Patrick and his parents will be with us."

"Okay."

She's silent for a moment, and I glance at her briefly to see her fists clench. My grip on the steering wheel tightens a little.

"Fine. Don't talk to me, then. I'll talk to _Patrick _at lunch."

I don't reply, and Spencer sighs.

"…I don't even likehim as a _person_, okay? But my family's friends with his family, so it's pretty likely that we're going to see each other often. We already do every Sunday, anyway, and he gets it. He knows I'm not interested. So…if that's why you're upset, or if that's why my mom invited them…it's pointless. He knows not to mess with me."

That makes me feel a little better, and I give her a small smile. "That's good."

She raises an eyebrow. "Oh, up to two words now?"

"Guess so."

Arthur pulls into the restaurant's parking lot in front of us, and I follow him in, parking in a spot close to him and turning the car off. "Are you going to start talking once we get inside?" she asks me, grabbing my hand before I can get out of the car.

"Probably not," I admit.

"Not even a little?"

"Depends on how your mom treats me," I tell her, abandoning the small responses so we can have an actual conversation. "Although I don't really expect her to even look at me or anything."

"Well, maybe Patrick's family will distract her and she'll be too busy talking to them to be mean, anyway," Spencer points out, and I shrug, already too used to Paula's hatred of me to really care either way.

"Yeah, maybe."

We head inside in a big group of eight and end up getting seated at a large table. Spencer, me, and Patrick all sit down in that order, with Arthur, Paula, and Patrick's mom sitting across from us respectively, and Glen and Patrick's dad grab the opposite ends of the table, leaving us sitting in one giant rectangle while I get to look up into Paula Carlin's face every second I'm not eating.

"So I don't believe we've met before…"

"Ashley," I offer hastily to Patrick's mom, not wanting to make too bad of an impression, especially since this woman's son has been sitting next to me, ogling me for the last fifteen minutes, and it hasn't gone unnoticed, even by Spencer. She's on my other side, and I can see her stabbing into her food a little too roughly. Arthur and Glen both catch this, but they both look amused. Glen even comments to her under his breath, but she tells him to shut up. I squeeze her hand when nobody's paying attention.

"So you go to King High?" Patrick asks me in a lame attempt to start a conversation.

"Yup." That's code for "I'm not interested; back off".

I guess he doesn't comprehend. "That's cool. I heard it's a good school."

"The best," I agree without a hint of conviction.

"I always wanted to go to a public school, but I graduated from a private one last year. I started my first year of college last fall." I don't say anything, but it doesn't faze him. "Do you have any idea where you want to go?"

"Not going to college," I murmur through a mouthful of food, not looking at him.

"Oh." I think at this point he at least gets that I'm not his type. "Well, that's cool, too. It just depends on what you want to do with your life." Or not.

"Spencer tells me Ashley's a musician," Paula cuts into our conversation without warning, like she actually likes me, and she and Spencer are on good terms. I squeeze the knife I'm currently wielding…er, holding…a little bit tighter, trying to keep myself from glaring at her. I know what she's trying to do.

"Really? That's amazing," Patrick says, half to me and half to Paula. "Have you ever thought about majoring in some kind of music field, though? I bet it'd really help if you were interested in a career as a musician."

I'm actually opening my mouth to tell him to buzz of, when his dad changes the subject completely, looking over at me with interest. "This is the first time you've been to our church, right, Ashley?"

"Mhmm."

"Well, I think it's great of you to join us, but do you mind me asking where you attended prior to today?"

"Uh…I don't usually go to church."

Patrick's dad just sorta goes "Uh huh…", and then the whole table falls silent while we all eat our food. Spencer and I exchange looks that say "oh my god when will this end", and I hear her let out a soft sigh and turn away from me. Paula catches me looking at her daughter, and for a split second I think she might lunge across the table and strangle me, but she just glances away quickly and stiffens a little, returning her attention to the family she apparently wants to try and make me a part of. I grab the ketchup bottle and struggle to open it for a moment, and Patrick reaches for it, laughing lightly.

"Here, I'll open it for you."

"I can do it myself," I mumble, tugging harder at the little flippy cap thing on the top, and this time Spencer's tinkling laugh reaches my ears, and she takes the bottle from me lightly, flipping it open with her thumb.

"You were pulling on the wrong end," she informs me, letting her fingers linger on mine a little longer than necessary when she hands the bottle back, and despite my bad mood, I can't help giving her a sheepish smile. Paula's staring at us again, though, and I look away from Spencer quickly, focusing on squirting some ketchup onto my plate.

In case it isn't apparent by now, Ashley Davies doesn't take orders from anyone, except maybe Spencer sometimes, and so it's practically killing me to act like Paula's bitch right now. But I'm not cruel enough to completely ruin church for Spencer's family, either. So I won't punch Patrick in the face or tell his parents to pull out the sticks they have shoved up their asses, _and _I won't scream at Paula.

Or, I'll at least try not to do any of those things. I've been doing well so far.

"So how have you been doing, Spencer?" Patrick's mom says lightly, directing her attention to the youngest and sexiest Carlin, who happens to be staring at me at the moment. Spencer blushes, noticing I've caught her looking, and swiftly meets the older woman's eyes. "Any luck with the boys? Patrick told me about the little date you two went on, and how you told him there was someone else."

Uh, I was not aware of this. She told him there was someone else?

Paula looks like she's just been informed that someone spit in her food, and suddenly all of the attention's on Spencer. Glen's still finding this entire lunch hilarious, which I guess is a step up from acting like mini-Paula, but it's still aggravating. And Arthur doesn't look like he knows what to do.

"Um…" Well, Spencer's not an idiot, so obviously she can't come out to any friends from church without jeopardizing their membership. Or whatever it's called. "Nope. No luck with boys."

"Oh, I'm sorry things didn't work out," Patrick's mom replies sympathetically while Paula visibly relaxes next to her and lets go of the edge of the table. Her knuckles are white, I notice.

"I'm not too torn up about it," Spencer quips, smirking to herself, and I'm about to smile too, but another look from Paula wipes it off of my face.

Okay, seriously. Boss me around one more time with those silent glares, bitch.

Just when I think things can't get any more awkward or worse, Patrick's mom spots something across the restaurant and pulls a face, then apparently decides to run her mouth even more. But all she says is, "Oh", in this disappointed and kind of disgusted tone. Naturally, almost everyone at the table turns to see what she's looking at.

Two guys. At the front of restaurant. Holding hands.

Big whoop.

I turn my head a little to look at Spencer, watching her eyes sparkle for a moment, and I can tell just seeing another gay couple has pretty much made her day. She was friends with Carmen, and met Sam, but I don't think she's ever seen another gay_ couple_ before.

The spell's broken when Patrick's dad mutters, "God, do they have to do that in public?"

Spencer looks hurt, I'm trying not to look angry, Glen's shooting sympathetic and not-so-subtle glances towards Spencer and I, and Arthur seems offended and _still _unsure of what to do. I love the guy to death, but he's gotta man up more than ten percent of the time. _Please. _To my surprise, though, Paula doesn't seem like she knows what to say, either. But is that a hint of protectiveness I'm seeing in her eyes when they flicker towards Spencer? No. I have to have imagined it.

A second later, Paula's jaw is set again and she's clearing her throat, drawing the attention of homophobic family number two back to her. "Yes, well…unfortunately, some people just can't seem to control their emotions."

Told you I imagined it. Just like that, she's done a 180.

Arthur opens his mouth to say something, then, and Spencer tenses beside me again, but Patrick's mom answers back with, "I suppose so. People like that…well, they'll be judged when the time comes."

Wow. It's Paula's long-lost twin. No wonder they get along so well.

"You're right." Yeah, that's Spencer's _mother _saying that right now. In front of her gay daughter. I'm pissed right now. Like, seeing red. Insulting me is one thing, but nobody does that to Spencer on my watch. "I just don't understand..."Her gaze flickers towards Spencer again, "…why some people would make that decision, knowing what the consequences are."

Keep your mouth shut, Ash. You can do it. Don't open it. Don't say a word.

Spencer looks like she's having similar issues. So does Arthur.

"It's disgusting," Patrick's mom deems with a nod of her head, and that last word sets me off.

I stand up before I realize what I'm doing, opening my mouth to retaliate, but then everyone's eyes settle on me, and I recover enough to simply say through gritted teeth, "I'm going home."

Spencer's catches my wrist before I can make a break for it, getting to her feet hastily and preventing me from leaving. I'm expecting her to beg me to stay, but instead she just says, "I'm going with you."

"Spencer Carlin, sit down this instant!" Paula hisses, trying not to attract too much attention to our table, and Spencer squeezes my hand tighter, glaring over at her mother.

"No. You are so out of line, Mom, and I tried to give you a chance. _Ashley _tried to give you a chance. And…instead you turned what was supposed to be a way to get to know my _girlfriend _into a complete set-up, and all you've done is proved that you're…you're an awful mother, and you don't care about me or who I love or what I want. This was your last chance, and I'm done now, alright? If you want me in your life, you better make some quick adjustments right this second, because I promise you that no amount of therapy is going to make up for what you've put me through. It's now or never."

I think my jaw drops, because I've never seen Spencer stand up for herself quite like this before, and Paula seems just as shocked. Meanwhile, Patrick and his parents are exchanging confused looks, like they're trying to decipher if "girlfriend" was meant in the way it sounded like it was meant, and Paula glances over at them quickly, like she's thinking of a way to cover up what just happened. That's enough of an answer for Spencer.

"Goodbye," she says curtly, already tugging me towards the door, and ignoring Paula when she calls Spencer's name as we're exiting the restaurant.

"Holy shit, Spencer," I breathe out as soon as we're to the car, and she grins sheepishly, her usual semi-shyness back now that we're calmer. "That was amazing!" And hot.

"It did feel kind of cool," she admits, and I laugh, wrapping my arms around her and resting my chin on her shoulder while she smiles against my cheek.

"Spencer."

And apparently, things aren't over yet.

We pull apart to see Paula walking across the parking lot almost briskly, and Spencer immediately folds her arms over her chest, her expression changing completely. I can almost see her trying to get the courage she had in the restaurant back.

"Spencer, we need to talk. Please talk to me."

"What more is there to say?"

I back away a bit, sensing I should just shut up and let Spencer do the talking.

"I just want what's best for you, Spencer…"

"_Ashley's _what's best for me."

Paula stares at her hopelessly for a moment, briefly glancing at me, then sighing. "Honey, I tried today but-"

"_That? _You call _that, _what happened in there,_ trying_? That was pathetic."

"I'm sorry. You know I can't be a part of this lifestyle."

"I'm not asking you to be," Spencer snaps. "I'm not asking you for anything anymore. Not to accept me, or even…or even to tolerate me. I love you, Mom, but you're trying to make me feel guilty for this when I'm not doing anything wrong. _You're _the one with the problem. Not me. And until you learn that, I don't want anything more to do with you."

I've never seen Paula Carlin look more lost and helpless than she does at this moment. And all on Mother's Day.

For a second, I actually feel a little sorry for her.

* * *

After we left the restaurant, I went through Dairy Queen's drive thru to pick up some ice cream to help cheer Spencer up, and then we went back home, cringing when we walked in on Kyla and Aiden making out on the couch. Okay, _my _mother sucks, so I have an excuse, and Kyla's lives across the country, but shouldn't Aiden be spending the day with his family on Mother's Day?

"How'd church go?" Kyla asks us with a smirk, not looking nearly as embarrassed as Aiden does, and Spencer just sort of shrugs dejectedly and plops down on the closest chair, ice cream cone still in her hand. I opt to follow her lead and not answer. "…That bad?"

* * *

I'm on my side, lying in my bed with my back to Spencer and staring at the clock on my nightstand. It's a little past midnight, and after the day I've had, I'll be lucky to even get an hour of sleep tonight.

The sheets rustle next to me and Spencer's leg brushes against mine. A second later, I feel her roll over so that her breath is tickling my neck. But something's definitely wrong, because it's uneven.

She sniffs quietly, then muffles another noise, most likely by pressing her face into the pillow, and I squeeze my eyes shut, realizing that she's crying, and I really have absolutely no idea what to do this time. I don't know what it's like to lose a mom. I never really had one.

So I keep my mouth shut and pretend to be asleep, secretly wondering how often Spencer cries herself to sleep at night.


	44. Moving Back

"Okay, Ash, where do you want to be five years from now?"

Spencer steadies the camcorder in her hands, smiling behind it even as she's pointing it at me. I smile back, biting my lip and tilting to my head to the side in thought. "Well…if someone had asked me that about a week ago, I wouldn't have had any idea, career-wise. But…I've been thinking, and I really like the idea of performing my music, so maybe I might be still trying to do that by then. So that's the career part, at least. And I'd probably still be living in LA, but not in this place, because Kyla's always liked it better than me so I'm gonna let her have it when it's time for one of us to move out."

"What about…relationship-wise?" Spencer asks, her tone teasing, but I sense an undercurrent of anxiety, too.

"Still with you," I tell her honestly, trying not to think of college or her mother or anything else that's been clawing at the back of both of our minds lately. "That won't ever change."

She grins this time, and I smile in response, watching her put down and turn off the camera before she sits down next to me on my bed and sighs, wrapping her arms around me. Her head finds my shoulder, and I turn my head to breathe in the smell of her hair. "I love you," she says softly. "No matter what."

I know she's thinking about her mom again. It's been about a week since the restaurant incident, and we haven't heard from Paula since. I can't decide whether or not that's a good thing.

"Love you too," I murmur, kissing the top of her head, and of course Kyla decides to burst in at that moment and catch us snuggling together. She's too hyper to be fazed, though.

"Oh. My. God. Ashley, you are going to love me even more than you love Spencer when I tell you the news I have."

"Doubt it," I say flatly, squeezing Spencer tighter, but Kyla quickly grabs me and pulls me to my feet, dragging me out of my room and into hers. Her laptop is sitting, open, on her desk. Her email is up.

Spencer follows us into the room just as I'm leaning over to read the email, and Kyla is letting out little noises beside me like she can barely contain herself.

"Kyla," I read aloud, noticing the message is from the owner of Ego. "We got the video you sent us of your sister singing, and we would love to have her perform here on open-mic night on Saturday. There is one spot still open, so respond as quickly as possible to confirm…" I look over at her incredulously. "What the hell did you do?"

"Well…ever since you performed at Gray and did great…I figured it was time to take things up a notch!" Kyla exclaims. I didn't know it was possible to feel excited and nauseas at the same time, but guess what? It is. "So you're gonna do it, right?"

"That's tomorrow, though," I point out, looking at the message again. "Saturday night."

"Yeah, so let me send that reply, and then you have a day to get prepared."

I sigh, pretending I have to think it over even though I really don't. "Fine." Kyla squeals, hurrying forward to type a response, and I furrow my eyebrows, nudging her all of a sudden. "Wait, what video of me?"

Kyla turns around briefly to grin at Spencer, who blushes when I look over at her too.

Her and that damn camcorder.

* * *

I spend most of early Saturday in my little studio, deciding Ego is definitely worth practicing for and it's best not to just wing it like I did at Gray. Spencer tries to convince me to come out and spend time with her instead even though we're practically inseparable anyway, and when I refuse, she just sighs against the glass window she's peeking at me through and writes "I heart you" where her breath has left a mark, then leaves, presumably to go hang out with Kyla. I swear, if those two weren't already kind of like sisters before Spencer moved in, they definitely are now. That's okay, though. I'm glad they get along so well.

"That looks _amazing _on you, Spence!"

I wince, messing up mid-strum of my guitar, then setting it down and preparing to go reprimand them.

Except when they're getting along _too _well. I'm pretty sure they've made up a new game: finding ways to try and distract me from practicing. Which makes no sense considering _they _were the ones who set up this performance at Ego.

"Hey, could you guys…keep it…down…"

I'm already wondering what they're doing in my room in the first place, but once I see them, it's pretty obvious.

They're trying on my bikinis.

Or, more specifically, Spencer's trying on my bikinis.

"Spencer doesn't think it looks hot," Kyla says, not even acknowledging my request, and I can tell from the way she's grinning at me that she's trying to tease me. At least _Spencer_ looks completely innocent. "Tell her it does."

The corners of my lips twitch in annoyance, but it's hard to be mad at Kyla with Spencer examining herself in a bikini like five feet away from me. "Whose idea was this?"

"Kyla's," Spencer replies immediately, putting a hand on her stomach self-consciously and looking in the nearest mirror, twisting her body slightly. I forget about Kyla for a couple seconds while I'm watching her.

"See? Ashley's drooling. Told you it looks good."

"I'm not drooling!"

Spencer glances between Kyla and me for a second, then grins at me, and even though I smile back, I start to wonder if she's really as happy here as she looks. These past few nights certainly don't make it seem like it. She's cried more than once since Mother's Day, and I don't know what to do about it. Half of me wants to hold her tight and never let go, and the other half is afraid I'll say something stupid and make things worse.

I think my smile fades a little, because Spencer looks concerned all of a sudden. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I reply quickly. "Just…nervous about tonight, you know?" I'm not, actually. Not right now, anyway; not yet.

"Aw, don't worry," Spencer tells me, walking over to me and wrapping her arms around me, which I have to admit distracts me for a second. She's still wearing that bikini, after all. "You'll be great."

"Thanks," I say lamely, not even able to enjoy hugging bikini-clad Spencer because now Kyla looks like she knows something's up. "Anyway," I clear my throat hastily, pulling away. "I have to go practice. So can you guys just stay quiet for a little while? I promise I'll come out soon."

Spencer sighs. "Alright. I'll put your bikini back."

"Or…you know, you could leave it on…" I start, and Spencer giggles while Kyla lights up all of a sudden.

"Hey, I heard it was going to be really warm tomorrow. We could go to the beach!"

"Alright. And Spencer can wear this," I agree, poking Spencer in the stomach. She giggles again, and if I was in the mood, I'd crack a Pillsbury Doughboy joke. Instead, I smile and peck her on the lips quickly, then leave her and Kyla to their own devices for a while.

* * *

If I'd forgotten before how much more crowded Ego tends to get compared to Gray, then I definitely remember _now_.

It's packed. And I'm nauseas.

Kyla is having the time of her life and has decided to bring Aiden along for the ride once again, which means they're both now drunk off their asses together somewhere, leaving Spencer to be the one to take care of me and calm me down.

"I need a drink," I murmur, rubbing my temples and staring down at the table we're sitting at, but Spencer just rubs my back gently. It doesn't do much to comfort me.

"No, you don't."

I chuckle a little. "Trust me, I do. But you're not letting me have one, anyway."

"You know me too well," she agrees, kissing me on the cheek while I let out a sigh. It's barely audible over the sound of the band currently playing and the people dancing and talking nearby. The whole "open mic" thing is just getting underway, and the worst part is that I don't even know when my turn is. So if I'm next to perform, I'll probably freeze up and refuse to do it.

Once I was onstage last time, I wasn't nervous anymore. It's _getting up there _that's the problem. I know this. I think Spencer realizes it, too, and figures I'll be fine, because she seems totally nonchalant about this whole thing, even though she's also been pretty quiet since we got here.

I think she's thinking. About what, I'm not sure, but I haven't been able to get a good enough read on her lately to figure out what's up. I don't really know how she feels about her mom or her family or if she even likes living with me. _I _thought having Spencer in the same house with me would be like paradise, and while I've been having fun, things aren't really like I imagined they'd be. And I hate the idea of Spencer putting on a happy face every day just to make _me_ happy.

Obviously, now's not exactly the best time to talk to her, though.

Luckily, I'mnot called up until near the end of the entire thing, and by that time, I've calmed myself down enough that it's almost no big deal.

Now, I'm not gonna say I got a standing ovation or anything like that, but there _was _a point where I was about to step off of the stage and the manager of Ego stopped me and asked me if I'd mind singing a few more songs, and I can't help thinking that had to mean _something _special.

After all, it didn't happen to anyone else.

* * *

Since Aiden and Kyla are drunk and we only took one car to Ego anyway, Spencer and I dump them in Kyla's bed and watch them lay there unconscious for a moment, before we exchange shrugs and leave Kyla's room to head to mine.

"How angry do you think Kyla will be tomorrow when she finds out what she missed?" Spencer asks me as we change into our pajamas, and I smile at her, slipping under the covers of my bed and resting my head on my pillow.

"Probably pissed off. But that's what she gets for getting drunk with Aiden. Along with a hangover. I wonder if she'll still want to go to the beach. Then again, I'm pretty sure she's never passed up an opportunity to tan."

"Well, not all of us are perfect at it."

I raise an eyebrow. "Geez, first I have a high metabolism, and now I tan perfectly? You flatter me, Spence."

"That's my job." She hops onto the bed and leans over me, smirking. "To remind you how amazing you are…although you do a pretty good job of it without me."

"I'm the most amazing person on Earth," I agree mid-yawn, and Spencer raises an eyebrow at me disbelievingly. "You don't count," I tell her. "'Cause you're out of this world, baby."

She scoffs and whacks me in the head with a pillow, and I grin up at her, reaching for her hand while she rolls her eyes and leans over sideways, resting her head on my chest. After a few minutes of silence, I focus on Spencer's closed eyes and ask, "Spence, can we talk?"

"About what?"she mumbles, and I can tell I better do this quickly before I lose my nerve or Spencer falls asleep.

"Um…your mom. Or your family in general."

_That _wakes her up. "I don't want to talk about them."

I sigh. "Spencer, if you really miss them, you know you don't have to stay he-"

"I _don't _miss them," she interrupts curtly. "I like it here with you."

"I like it too, but I'm just saying that I've noticed-"

"Look. Yeah, it's hard, all this stuff that's going on with my mom. You can't expect me to walk around all smiles and laughter all the time when something as big as last Sunday only just happened. That doesn't mean I want to move back in with my family. Even…even if I do maybe miss them a little." She sighs, closing her eyes again as I reach forward to run my fingers through her hair. "But I like living with you. I could get used to it, you know?"

I smile to myself, nodding even though she can't see it. "Okay. But you know nobody's forcing you to stay here, right? If you want out, I want you to tell me. If you miss your family, I think you should fix things with your mom, and if moving back in is going to help her get over all of this and accept you, if it'll make your life easier…I think it would be best. I just…I can't lie here every night and, and hear you crying and stay convinced that you being here is the right thing, okay? I don't know what to do."

She stiffens a little beside me, opening her eyes again and staring straight ahead, at the wall. "I miss them a lot," she finally admits. "Just…mostly how we used to be. I'm just worried that my mom and I will never be the same again. I miss the old her, the one…"

"Before me?" I offer quietly, and she squeezes me tighter, sighing.

"Do you really have to put it like that?"

"Only because that's the way it is," I reply. "You're not going to hurt my feelings, though, okay? If you need to move out, move out. You'll still be just a few miles away. And we'll still have the summer to spend together."

"Yeah…" she agrees half-heartedly, and after a few more minutes of silence, she sits up and leans over me, kissing me gently before rolling off of me and whispering, "Goodnight, Ash."

"Goodnight, Spence."

* * *

We don't go to the beach the next day.

We were planning on it, and Kyla and Aiden managed to get on bathing suits even though they were completely hung over, but when the three of us were waiting for Spencer by the front door, and she wasn't coming, I of course was sent to go figure out what was taking so long.

I found her on my bed, not even in a bathing suit yet, with the box of Carlin family photos Glen brought over on the bed next to her while she stared at two in her hands. I took one look at the pictures, at the smiling faces of the "pre-Ashley" Carlin family, and at the second picture of Spencer and Paula, and knew there was no way I could let Spencer continue to stay with me while she felt like this, while she was looking at old pictures of her family instead of enjoying her time living with me. And I think she knew it then, too. She needs to fix things with her family first, before anything else. _Definitely _before trying to live with me.

Now we're all packed up and in my car, on our way back to the Carlin residence, and we haven't said anything since my bedroom. But Spencer's hand has been in mine for the past seven minutes, and her thumb is brushing the back of it, so I have to hope that that's at least a good sign. But I really don't know what any of this means. Does she need a break from dating me, too? I know she still loves me, but maybe she really does blame me for tearing her family apart, and in that case, she might think it'd be better if we stopped dating.

If Spencer breaks up with me, I don't know what I'll do. Probably melt into a big pile of misery and stay that way for the rest of my life.

She's supposed to be The One. That's not short for The One Who Ruined My Life by Breaking My Heart. It's not short for anything. It just is what it is. I don't think I can live without her. I don't know how I ever did in the first place.

We get to her house, and Spencer lets go of my hand and places hers in her lap, sighing so quietly I almost don't hear it. We sit in my car for a few silent minutes.

"Are you breaking up with me?" I blurt out, biting down on my lip and cursing myself immediately afterwards, but Spencer just turns and shoots me an incredulous look.

"Are you kidding me?"

My heart's still pounding erratically in my chest. "Is…that a yes?"

She leans forward and cups my cheek, pressing her lips to mine gently. "It's an emphatic no," she says firmly, smiling at me when I raise an eyebrow. "That means definitely not. This doesn't change anything. Where I live doesn't matter; I'm still going to love you." She kisses me again, then adds, "Don't forget that, alright?"

I nod obediently, swallowing, and Spencer kisses me one last time, then gets out of the car and grabs her stuff, insisting she doesn't need my help. "I'll call you as soon as I get a chance," she promises. "I'm probably going to be spending plenty of quality with my mom for a while, but once I fix things with her, we'll have the whole summer to have fun." Her eyes darken a little towards the end of that last sentence, and her voice is filled with enough promise that a pleasant shiver makes its way down my spine despite our current situation.

She goes to the door and rings the bell, and it only takes a few seconds before the front door of the Carlin residence is being opened, and Arthur is on the other side, looking pleasantly surprised. He catches sight of the suitcase in Spencer's hands, then immediately looks past her to me, his smile fading a little bit. I give him a quick wave, though, and he waves back, smiling again as he lets Spencer into the house.

And I decide that maybe this won't be so bad after all. Because Spencer and I are so perfect together right now, that all I really need is a supportive future mother-in-law.


	45. Graduation

**A/N: I finally updated! I've been so busy lately that I almost forgot how long it'd been since I last posted a chapter, so I went straight to my laptop and edited/posted this as soon as I could. I have about two other chapters written and I'm going to be writing more today so hopefully I will have plenty of stuff ready to post soon. **

**Warnings for this chapter: I decided to give you guys a warning (because everybody's_ totally_ afraid to read Spashley sex, as we all know), but seriously, there's nothing descriptive here but there are mentionings of certain objects. I kept things pretty light though, at least IMO. **

**And now for the thing that genuinely needs a warning...huge cliffy at the end of this chapter! But I will get the next chapter up soon, no more two and a half week waits. Promise :)**

* * *

Seniors don't attend the last week of school at King High, and Spencer is so busy with her family and with preparing for Graduation that I don't hear from her at all, in person or by phone, for six days. Kyla is getting pre-grad jitters, so I have my hands full with her.

"And how should I wear my hair?"

This is her twelfth question today. Graduation's tomorrow.

"The same way you always wear it. Just relax, Ky."

"Easy for you to say. You're not even graduating with our class."

"So?"

"So…stop acting like you know what you're talking about. Because you don't."

"Look," I deadpan, glancing over at her as she examines herself in the mirror and silently murmurs something to herself about the size of her gown. "Spencer's graduating, too, and I'm sure she's not nearly as nervous as you are."

"How would you know? You haven't talked to her in a week," Kyla snaps, and I try to mask how much that hurts me, but I don't think it works. "I'm sorry," Kyla immediately apologizes. "That was a bitchy thing to say."

"It was," I agree flatly, standing up and exiting her bedroom, and she knows me well enough to realize I'd rather she just leave me alone tonight.

I end up collapsing on my bed with my mp3 player in my hand and headphones in my ears.

I don't know how she's doing. I don't know if things are okay with her mom. I don't even know if her mom is even _talking _to her. All I know is that she hasn't been kicked out, and that neither she nor Glen has felt the need to call me and give me an update. Are they really _that _busy?

* * *

I attend the Graduation Ceremony, of course, because Aiden, Kyla, and Spencer are all graduating, and to my surprise, I'm waved down by Glen and Arthur when I get there. Glen gestures for me to take a seat next to him, Arthur grins at me and makes a good-natured comment about how he wishes I was down there with my friends too, and Paula…well, she actually manages to twist her expression into something that looks somewhat friendly, and I force a smile right back, realizing that it _is _progress. Whatever Spencer and the rest of the Carlins have been telling her, it's obviously working at least a little bit, because normally she wouldn't even look at me.

"Spencer tells me she has plans after the ceremony," Arthur says to me, meaning it in a conversational way, obviously just trying to get some kind of dialogue going with me. He says it like I should know this already. So naturally, I'm immediately hurt when I don't.

"She hasn't said anything to me about it," I comment quietly, and there's an awkward pause.

"Oh." Arthur shrugs the awkwardness off and smiles at me. "Well, I'm sure she just hasn't had time to mention it. Spencer's been pretty busy this past week."

"I'm sure," I agree half-heartedly, and we don't have time to say much more, because the ceremony starts on the stage in front of us, with our principal making a speech to the "family and friends of this year's graduates". There are a few more speeches, including one by the valedictorian, who, unfortunately, isn't Spencer. I think she told me last week that she got the fourth highest GPA in our grade, and I can't help thinking that she probably would've gotten first if it weren't for that B she got because of me. It's another thing for me to feel guilty about, but I don't dwell on it, because today is supposed to be happy.

They start calling out names, and the Carlins and I all straighten up in our seats, because there really aren't that many people with last names that start with A's and B's.

We cheer the loudest when Spencer gets called up, and she finds us in the crowd relatively easily, giving us a quick wave when she receives her diploma, and looking ecstatic at the fact that I'm sitting with her family.

Aiden is called about a minute later, and we cheer for him, too, and it takes a while to get to Kyla, but I pride myself in being the single loudest cheerer when she's walking across the stage. Aiden tries to give me a run for my money, but fails miserably.

And then it's over, and everyone's throwing their hats into the air, screaming and laughing, and parents are crying, and Aiden has Kyla in his arms and is spinning her in the air in this cheesy way that makes it hard not cringe, while Spencer runs over to me and nearly tackles me. Her cheeks are pink, probably just from happiness, and she immediately grabs my face and kisses me hard, giggling when I nearly fall over with surprise. Her mom's _right there. _

"You're not busy tonight, are you?" she breathes out into my ear, and I shake my head dumbly, flinching in surprise when Glen abruptly rips Spencer from my arms, chanting her name as he throws her over his shoulder, and marches away with her even as she's pounding her fists into his back. I can hear her laughing, though, so it's okay.

I shake my head, grinning, and let her visit her family while I go to Kyla and Aiden, who throw their arms around me as soon as they spot me.

"Yes, you graduated, I know," I deadpan, and Kyla shoves me playfully, rolling her eyes.

"You're such an idiot. You can be happy for Spencer but you can't be happy for us?"

"We're obviously just not special enough," Aiden says, shaking his head and wrapping his arm around Kyla. "Come on, babe, we'll take our celebration elsewhere. Like my house."

"Ew." I wrinkle my nose, watching Aiden practically drag Kyla away, then I turn around to go look for Spencer again.

She's still with her family, but they're all talking now, and I approach them tentatively. Glen wraps an arm around me when he sees me. I shoot him a dubious look, and Spencer giggles, pulling me away from him and into her arms instead. I like it here at lot better.

"Dad, I'm going to stay at Ashley's tonight, okay?" she more tells her dad than asks, wrapping her arms around my midsection from behind and resting her chin on my shoulder, and I blush furiously, avoiding Paula's eyes as Arthur nods his understanding. But Paula doesn't complain, or make any comment at all, thankfully, and Spencer returns her attention to me, smiling when she notices my blush. "We have to stop at my house so I can get a few things first, but then we'll go out to eat, and then we'll go back to your place, okay?"

I swallow, but it sounds more like a gulp. "Okay."

* * *

By the time we've gotten back to my place from Spencer's restaurant of choice, it's dark out. Kyla's over at Aiden's, obviously, so it's quiet when we get inside, and Spencer immediately takes my hand with the one of hers that's not holding a small plastic bag and pulls me upstairs to my bedroom.

I'm not complaining.

"I've missed you," she admits quietly, wrapping her arms around me and pulling me in for the lightest of kisses, and I smile against her lips, before slowly pulling away.

"Are things going okay with your mom?"

She raises an eyebrow at me. "You so did not just bring up my mom when we're about to have sex."

I fake a gasp, though inwardly, my heart rate just doubled. "We're about to have sex?"

"Shut up," she mumbles, leaning in for another kiss. "You're ruining the mood."

"Mmm…sorry…"

She releases me after another minute or two, now that I'm all heavy-lidded and puffy-lipped, and when she reaches down into the bag and pulls out the contents, which turn out to be a CD case, I'm wondering if she stole my idea and made a CD for us to have sex to.

She puts it into my computer, though, and walks back over to me and pulls me close once it starts playing, then slowly starts to sway to the music.

Dancing? Okay, I can do that. As long as she doesn't stop kissing my neck.

"I brought you something else," she murmurs to me, and her tone doesn't exactly help with my naturally perverted mind set, and I instinctively let out a whimper as several imaginary scenarios flash through my mind. Spencer hears me and giggles. "Not like _that_. Better."

"Better?" I try to echo, but my voice sounds squeakier than hers did. A lot squeakier. My hormones are serving as my brain at the moment.

She laughs again, teasing me with a clearly fake sigh and, "Alright, fine. If you don't want it…"

"Oh, I want it," I groan out, and she pushes me away lightly by my shoulders, holding me at arms' length to shoot me an exasperated look.

"I should've known not to mention sex to you when I still wanted other things to happen _between _the mentioning of sex and the actual sex."

"I haven't seen you in a week," is my explanation.

"Get your mind out of the gutter; this is important," she tells me gently, tilting her head to the side. "Please?"

I nod, exhaling slowly. "Okay, I'm good. What is it?" I focus my eyes on hers, trying not to let my gaze fall to her lips.

"Well…" She trails off, licking her lips, then shoots me another look when I fail miserably at concentrating on her.

"Sorry," I mutter, and she shakes her head.

"Forget it; I'll tell you after we're done."

A second later, I'm being tugged to my bed before I can insist that I'm paying attention, and Spencer's hands are resting on my stomach while she straddles my waist.

Spencer on top of me in my bed, with soft music playing in the background? I'm liking it so far.

Her hands slide up to pin mine over my head, and she leans down to kiss the tip of my nose, grinning when I groan and tilt my head up to try and get her to kiss my lips.

Her lips brush against my cheek, my chin, and even my closed eyelids, but the closest I get to a kiss on the lips is a brush against the corner of them, and then Spencer is nibbling and sucking her way down my neck, and steady waves of warmth are flowing downward in me, pooling between my legs at a spot that Spencer needs to get to, and fast.

I try to pull my hands from hers, but she tightens her grip just slightly and husks into my ear, "Stay still. I graduated, so I get to do what I want tonight. And I wanna make this all about you."

"Does that mean we can have a reversal of this when I get my GED?" I pant out, my eyes still squeezed shut.

"If it'll motivate you to get one," Spencer agrees, licking the shell of my ear and kissing my temple when I shiver.

"Mmkay," I reply without really thinking about it, too focused on Spencer's shifting thigh and how I instinctively know she's going to press it between mine. I still moan when she does it, though. "When we do, after I get it, I want…" I continue, trying not to focus too much on the way she's sucking on my collarbone or the way her thigh is slowly starting to push into me rhythmically, because I know if I do, I'll lose my train of thought. "Can we, ah…can we use a…?" Her tongue flicks against my skin, and I have a momentary lapse in thought.

"Use a what?"

She's stopped now, and that's enough to not only clear my head, but also to get to me to open my eyes. She's staring down at me curiously when I do.

"Uh, you know…" I don't want to say the words, because I'll probably blush and I've already done that enough for today. It's not like we've mentioned this topic before. I mean, I've _thought _about it, _a lot,_ but I'm not sure what Spencer's going to think. My lips curve upwards a little, and I rock my hips suggestively beneath hers, even throwing in a small grunt or two. "_You know_?"

I can see the color filling her cheeks, flooding them with warmth, and I'm powerless to stop myself from at least smiling at _little_. She looks _really _embarrassed, now that I'm actually suggesting this, and like she wants to laugh at my ridiculous impersonation of using a strap-on but isn't sure if she should. "What, like…like what you thought was in the bag?" she whispers, like we have some kind of secret we don't want anyone to know, and I laugh lightly, squeezing her hands gently.

"If you don't want to, it's fine. I was just asking." I know my eyes are darkening; I can feel them as I quietly add, "I think it'd be fun."

She sits up a little, looking around my room. "Do you have one here?"

_Now _I'm blushing. "Huh?"

"Here, do you have one here? In your room or something?"

"U-uh…" I fumble with my words for a moment, not entirely sure where this is going. "I mean, _old _ones I haven't used in forever but-" Her head turns so she's facing me again, and I practically gulp at the look in her eyes. "They're clean and everything," I finish, biting my lip and waiting for a response. My whole body is practically throbbing with anticipation, and I'm wondering why the hell I haven't mentioned this idea before. I'm completely on edge. "I was an adventurous sixteen-year-old," I finally add, hoping to relieve some of the tension.

"Do you know where they are?"

I'm out from under her in a second, practically running to the closet, and I can hear Spencer breathing heavily all the way from the bed as I toss everything that's _not _a box of sex toys over my shoulder.

And then I see it. The box. In the very back of my closet.

Spencer starts wriggling out of her clothes the second she sees me on my way back, and I hastily toss the strap-on onto my bed and immediately reach for my shirt. Spencer's leaving her bra on, so I do too, and by the time I'm pulling my pants down, she's already completely naked from the waist down and is trying to figure out how to put the strap-on on herself.

I think I almost faint.

She wants to…and I…

I hurriedly reach over and help her get it on, and she lets out a nervous laugh, puffing out "This isn't very flattering" into my ear.

"Shhhhhh," I whisper quietly in her ear, tugging her to me by her hips once it's on. "Less talking, more sexing."

She giggles until I practically tackle her onto the bed.

* * *

"I think I might be dead, Spence."

"Yeah," she puffs out, finding my hand and lacing our fingers together, and for once, I think I've found an upside to Spencer moving.

"Just think about what things will be like when you go to college, if _this_ was what things were like after a _week_ apart. Maybe we won't see or hear from each other for _two _weeks," I say almost dreamily, and she chuckles into my pillow, squeezing my hand tighter.

"That's one way to look at it."

"Mhmm…come here…" I mumble, pulling her closer and settling down with my face nuzzled into her neck. "I love you."

"Love you too," she whispers into the top of my head, before letting out a breathy sigh. I feel her pulse quickening beside my cheek. "God…you bouncing up and down on top of me like that…"

I groan, reaching up to press a hand to her mouth. "Stop, please. I'm too tired."

She pushes my hand closer to her mouth and kisses it lightly, before letting it fall to my side. "I still have to give you that thing I brought."

"Can it wait until morning?" I whisper, nearly dead weight by now.

"It can wait however long you want it to wait."

Something about the way she says that makes my eyebrows furrow, and I force myself to pull away a little so I can look at her. "Okay. Let me see it now."

She grins at me, then shakily sits up and slides out of bed, practically wobbling over to where her pants are on the floor and digging into the pocket. She hides whatever she withdraws behind her back, then makes her way back over here, collapsing next to me on her side again, so that we're face to face. "Speaking of how I'm going to college soon…well, I just wanted you to know that no matter how far apart we are, you'll always be the one I love. I wanted to…I guess I wanted to get you something to show you how committed I am to you, and to show you that…" She blushes a little, and I blink a few times, wondering what it is she possibly could've gotten me. "That you're the person I want to spend the rest of my life with."

She swallows loudly enough that I can hear it, then pulls a small box out from behind her back, and my eyes rapidly widen as she slowly opens it to reveal a small, diamond ring.


	46. From Beds to Beaches

My jaw drops.

"Oh my God, are you proposing?" I ask incredulously, my mind racing as I try to figure what the hell I should do. Do I say yes? Are we too young? Do I say no _because _we're too young?

Spencer's cheeks heat up rapidly, and she quickly waves one of her hands defensively. "No! Of course not."

"Oh." Well, she just kind of burst my bubble a little bit there, actually.

"N-Not that…that I _wouldn't_, if…" Spencer stutters out, blushing even darker. "I mean…but I haven't even started college yet…"

"No, no, I get it," I interrupt hastily, feeling embarrassed now for jumping to conclusions. I examine the ring for a moment. "It's beautiful…" Then I lift my gaze to hers. "This isn't an abstinence kind of thing, is it? Because you've got a sick sense of humor if it is."

She laughs at that, shaking her head and rolling her eyes. "No, Ash. It's a promise ring." I open my mouth, but she cuts me off with a look. "_Not _the sex kind. The kind that says I want to be with you until we're old enough to get married."

"Like a pre-engagement ring?" I ask, biting my lip, and Spencer nods, looking embarrassed again.

"Like a promise that one day, we'll _get _engaged. If that's alright with you."

I take a moment to let this sink in, then abruptly leap on top of Spencer and start kissing her again, grinning against her lips as she grins against mine. "Of course it's okay with me, you idiot," I whisper, and she cups my face and pulls me in closer, kissing me in a way that makes me start to think maybe it's time for round four.

I'm kind of getting now why she wanted to do this _before _sex.

"Mmm, wait," she says hastily, pushing me off of her so she can take the ring out of the box. "Can I put this on you?"

I hold out my hand, smiling widely, and she slips it onto my finger, then pecks me on the lips. I take another look at it, and my smile fades a little. "Spencer, this looks expensive."

"Don't," she warns, kissing me again, but I'm too distracted to get into it.

"But-"

"Ashley."

I sigh, breaking another kiss and turning my head to the side resolutely so that she can't get to my lips again. "How did you pay for this?"

"It was my graduation present from my parents. I asked them to go shopping with me, to help me pick it out."

"Your mom was okay with it?" I ask, surprised.

"It's the reason she's tolerating you now," Spencer replies, giving me an impish grin. "She knows she's gotta get used to you."

"But I thought you were supposed to get a car for graduation?"

She shrugs. "I have some money saved up; I can probably get something cheap."

I set my jaw. "I'm buying you a car."

She raises an eyebrow. "Uh, no you're not."

"I am," I singsong, pushing her backwards and crawling on top of her, and it doesn't register until now that we're both still naked.

"You're not," she replies, raking her nails down my back, challenging me.

I purse my lips, then smirk at her. "First one to orgasm loses this argument?"

She flips us over abruptly, sliding a hand between my legs. "Deal."

* * *

"How about this one? It's got four doors, four-wheel drive…and hey, leather seats!"

Spencer shrugs, looking disgruntled. "It's okay."

"Come on, a little more enthusiasm, please?" I quirk an eyebrow at her. "You were plenty enthusiastic last night."

"Shut up; I'm sensitive."

I scoff. "No you're not, I'm just _that _good."

Spencer folds her arms over her chest and stalks past me, looking from car to car until she finds one with an extremely cheap price. "Fine. I want this one."

"Pick one more shitty car and I'm getting you a Lamborghini," I threaten, and Spencer groans, shooting me a hopeless look.

"Do I _have _to let you buy me one?"

"We had a deal," I remind her. "You agreed. And, as I recall, you finished first."

Spencer's jaw clenches, and she turns on her heel and stalks back towards me on the way to look at more cars, hissing in my ear as she passes by, "Oral sex is cheating!"

* * *

Spencer's parents are shocked when we drive up to her house in her new Chrysler 300, bought in Spencer's name and paid for with my money.

It's got a big backseat, and (read: which is why) I picked it out, but Spencer approved of the price, so here we are, in her driveway, with her family walking over here, clearly wondering what the hell is going on.

"I can't believe I let you get me this," Spencer says to me through gritted teeth. I simply smile at her.

"Spencer, you gave me a diamond ring promising we'll get married one day. The least I could do was get you a car so that you can visit me when I want sex," I tell her, and she rolls her eyes at me.

"Well, aren't you the romantic."

"When I wanna be," I sigh out, watching Spencer put on a smile for her family, rolling down her window when they're all standing outside of it. Glen looks past Spencer, staring at me with disbelief, and I throw my hands up in the air and exclaim, "Surprise! Spencer got a car!"

"Ashley, you didn't have to do this," Arthur starts to say, but he's smiling at me and I can tell he appreciates it.

"Dad, make Ashley take it back," Spencer complains, and I cover her mouth quickly, giving Arthur a quick smile.

"Don't listen to her; she loves this thing."

Spencer pushes my hand away. "She _made _me let her buy it for me!"

Paula's eyes, meanwhile, are still focused on the hand that came up to cover Spencer's mouth, and I glance down at it, realizing it's the one with the ring on it. I blush, looking over at her, but she quickly averts her gaze, then leaves the window to go reprimand Glen, who has apparently taken some kind of inappropriate liking to the car.

Meanwhile, Spencer's still talking to Arthur. "I don't want to keep this. It's too much for a gift. I want to go return it."

"Spencer, this car is an expression of my love for you," I say with a completely straight face. "You wouldn't_ return _my love, would you?" I furrow my eyebrows. "Okay, that came out wrong, but you know what I mean. You're keeping the car, just like I'm keeping the ring, and your parents are keeping the money they probably would've had to spend _on _a car had I not bought you one. Got it?"

She mumbles something under her breath, and Arthur smiles at me, amused, as I tell him, "Anyway, Spencer's gotta give me a ride home, so we should probably-"

"Oh, no," he dismisses quickly, cutting me off. "You should stay for dinner. It's the least we can do."

I look over at Spencer, but she's still pouting about the car. I'm not sure I'm ready to face Paula head-on yet. "That's okay. I really should get home."

I think he senses my discomfort, because he nods and accepts my answer, before turning to go find Paula and Glen. That leaves Spencer and I alone again.

I bite my lip. "Soooooo…would it make you feel better if we did it in the backseat? You know, break the car in?"

I can tell she's trying hard not to smile. "You're not usually like this."

"You were different last night," I murmur, scooting towards her and moving to kiss up her neck, but Spencer swats me away hastily, looking around for her parents. I laugh at her, not at all fazed. "This summer is going to be _awesome_."

* * *

Kyla doesn't get home until the next morning, and I'm home alone when she does, eating ice cream and watching SpongeBob reruns just because I can.

"How'd things go with Spencer?" she asks me with amusement.

"How'd things go with _Aiden_?" I counter, smirking when she blushes.

"Shut up."

She plops down next to me on the couch, mutters something about me hogging all the ice cream, looks over at me…and squeals.

I jump over a foot in the air, launching the ice cream across the room, and Kyla latches onto my left hand, exclaiming, "Oh my God, what the hell is this?!" Somehow, she manages to sound excited while shouting the most unflattering things.

I yank my hand away hastily, using my other hand to cover the ring, but she pulls it right back into her grip, and I relent with a sigh, letting her stare my ring down like she's trying to kill it with laser vision. "Are you two engaged?" she asks quietly.

"What makes you think Spencer gave it to me?" I ask, avoiding the question just because I know it'll annoy her.

"_Ashleeeeey…"_

"Okay," I groan out, taking my hand back again. "It's a promise ring. We're _getting _engaged. Just not yet."

Kyla sighs, pretending to wipe her forehead. "Whew. Good. You two are much too young."

"Who are you; my grandma?"

"No, I don't know your grandma. I'm Spencer's grandma," she corrects, and I just stare at her for a moment, before shooting her a bizarre look and getting up to go clean up the ice cream.

* * *

Spencer in a bikini, _in _the ocean.

That's my mission today.

It's summer, we're in LA, and neither of us has any plans. Therefore, it's bikini time. I've been waiting six months for this. Possibly longer.

Very possibly longer.

And it's not exactly one-sided; _that _much I can tell by the way Spencer is watching me pick out which one of _my _bikinis _I'm_ going to wear. Except right now I'm naked. That might be why she's staring.

"How does this one look?"

"Better off of you."

Gotta love a helpful girlfriend.

"Spencer Carlin!" I chastise, throwing the bikini I was holding up to my body off to the side.

"Yeah?" Spencer replies, chewing on her lip while her eyes are glued to my body. She's fully clothed, with her bikini underneath already, but that's cool with me. I still like staring at her.

"My face is up here." I smirk when she has the decency to look guilty, then beckon her to me with one finger. "Your face could be up here too, if you want."

"Oh yeah?" She plays along, wiggling her eyebrows, and I grin at her, nodding as she steps forward and places one hand on my hip, leaning forward and barely brushing her lips against mine. I giggle in response and press forward as Spencer's hands tangle in my hair.

Ever since _that _night…you know, _that _night? Yeah, that one. Ever since _that night_, Spencer and I haven't been able to keep our hands off of each other. Our sex drives are insatiable, which is something I'm actually kind of proud of, because we're getting to the point where we've gone all night on several occasions. And I'm talking about for approximately the last week and a half or so.

What can I say? She spends the night a lot.

So it's no surprise that before long, Spencer has me pressed into the wall, I have one leg wrapped around hers, and her hand is hovering dangerously close to my center, just waiting for the right time to start touching.

"Hey, are you guys almost do-AHHHHH!"

_"Kyla!"_

Luckily, Spencer is so utterly perfect that even though she's blushing furiously, her first instinct is to press forward and cover my naked body with her own clothed one, and luckily, Kyla has enough common sense to cover her eyes and flee the room to go cry in Aiden's arms about how she's been permanently scarred for life.

Ah, well. If she doesn't think it's hot, she has issues. I, for one, would love to be able to watch Spencer and myself go at it.

Not that I would let Kyla watch. I'm just saying.

Spencer laughing into my shoulder pulls me from my thoughts, and pretty soon I start laughing, too, eventually shoving her away lightly. "I should go put on a bikini."

"You should," she confirms, giggling while the pink slowly ebbs from her cheeks until there's just a little bit of color left, the natural amount. I shoot her one last grin before grabbing a bikini and heading for the bathroom, deciding maybe it'd be better to change in there.

Wouldn't want Spencer to try and seduce me again with her incessant _staring. _

* * *

"This isn't too cold, is it?"

"Uhhhhh…" My mind goes blank for about the fiftieth time in the past six seconds, and finally, I manage to shake my head. "No, keep going. Please."

Spencer giggles from somewhere above me and I let myself relax. I'm lying down on a beach towel and Spencer is kneeling next to me, massaging sunscreen into my stomach. And it feels _good_. Spencer's pretty obsessed with my abs and I'm pretty obsessed with Spencer touching me, so I have a feeling we're both enjoying this.

On the other hand, if she doesn't stop soon, a bunch of little kids are seriously about to be scarred for life…like Kyla was half an hour ago. She's been avoiding us ever since, which I don't really mind at the moment.

"Alright…all done!"

Spencer starts to pull her hands away, and I sit up and grab them hastily, holding them against my stomach. "Are you _sure_?"

She smirks at me. "Ash, the sunscreen's rubbed in."

"…I burn easily?"

"No, you don't." I pout at her. "…But I guess you could use a little more…just in case."

I nod my agreement and lie back down excitedly, closing my eyes as Spencer adds another coat of sunscreen.

"So how long before we go home?" I question innocently. Now that I've seen Spencer in a bikini, I'd really just like to take it off.

She laughs lightly. "We just got here!"

"Yeah, but…" She does _something _that feels amazing and I stifle a moan. "_Spencer_…"

"Hey, how're my two favorite lesbos!?"

My eyes shoot open at the sound of a familiar voice, then lock onto Spencer. She already looks guilty. "Please tell me you didn't."

She smiles sheepishly. "I didn't?"

But she did.

I turn my face and lift up my sunglasses to the top of my head and take in the sight of the rest of the Carlin clan, clad in their bathing suits, with towels draped over their arms. Spencer's still kneading my stomach and Glen is smirking at us, but Paula and Arthur watching this is kind of making it awkward.

"Hey, Mr. and Mrs. Carlin!" Kyla exclaims, choosing now to come out of the water and join us. Aiden jogs up right behind her, clearly wondering what's going on. "How'd you guys know we'd be here?"

"Spencer called and invited us," Arthur tells her, shooting his daughter a smile. Spencer finally remembers what her hands are doing and stills them, and I try not to groan.

Glen says something about not getting a greeting, and while he and Kyla are arguing, I manage to get Spencer to look at me so that she actively acknowledges my glare.

"Later," she promises quietly, before stealing a quick kiss from me and getting up to face her family. "So Mom, Ashley and I were just getting ready to tan. Want to lay here with us?"

Without waiting for a response, she takes Paula's towel and lays it down on the other side of her own, presumably so that she can lie down on it next to Spencer, while I stay on Spencer's other side.

Fun day at the beach: ruined. Let the millionth bonding attempt of this year commence.

A few minutes later, Kyla and Aiden are having a splash-fight with Glen in the ocean, Arthur is relaxing in the water on some float thing, and Spencer and I are lying here with Paula, forcing conversation.

"That one looks like Abraham Lincoln." Or, you know, cloud watching. And it's really just me and Spencer participating. But at least Paula's in the vicinity and I'm still breathing, so it's definitely a start.

A soft laugh from beside me makes me forget about Paula for a second, and I shoot Spencer a small smile, but she's still facing the sky. "It so does. And that one looks like a dragon breathing fire, except it has ears and no tail." She points towards the sky and I follow her finger to the cloud in question.

"You're right," I admit.

There's a short pause. It's a sunny day and we're basically out of clouds after those two.

"So Mom…how's work at the hospital going?"

I shift my attention to Paula as both Spencer and I await her response, and can't help thinking that for a woman in her forties who's given birth to two children, she looks pretty good in a bathing suit. Then I almost puke when I realize I just thought that. _Ewwwwwww_.

"It's been fine," Paula replies, her eyes closed, and Spencer waits patiently for a moment, then sighs when she doesn't get any more of a response, rolling over so that she's facing me again.

"She was fine just before I graduated," she murmurs to me, but I can sense her tone is a little teasing. "I think it must be because _you're _here."

"You think?" I counter sarcastically, huffing and then shifting my towel over just a little so that I can lie closer to Spencer. I turn my head so that my chin is resting on her shoulder, then close my eyes and place my hand on Spencer's stomach, letting my fingers skim back and forth over it slowly. She squirms a little and makes a funny noise right next to my ear, but other than that, doesn't react.

We're all silent again, and I haven't heard any sound from Paula so I'm assuming her eyes are still closed. After a few more seconds, I tilt my head down and kiss Spencer's shoulder. She sighs almost longingly and shifts slightly, so I take that as an invitation and place another kiss right where her shoulder meets her neck. My hand stops moving on her stomach when she tilts her head to the side to give me better access, and I smirk to myself, leaning in even more to kiss her neck lightly.

For a second I forget where we are, but all it takes is another small noise from Spencer to alert Paula to exactly what we're doing, and I pull away hastily, feeling a blush rising to my cheeks while Paula gives us one quick disgusted look, then gets up and storms away.

Crap.

Spencer scrambles to her feet and hurries after her, leaving me here to wonder how every time I'm anywhere with Paula, I somehow manage to dig myself into an even deeper hole.


	47. Not Quite According to Plan

"Um…no PDA?" I raise an eyebrow at Spencer in response to her suggestion, and she sighs. "Oh, come on. It totally makes sense."

I take a deep breath, then exhale, nodding determinedly. "Alright. Add it."

Spencer puts her pencil to the sheet of paper in front of us and obeys.

"No flirting?" she questions when she's done writing.

I wrinkle my nose. "No way. We're a couple; we're not going to give _everything _up just to get your mom to like me. I'm still flirting with you in front of her."

"Then…_less _flirting?"

I sigh, and she shoots me an aggravated look. "Alright, alright! Fine. No PDA in front of her, less flirting…what else will help?"

We're on a mission, Spencer and I. And this time, it's not to see each other in a bikini, like it was a couple days ago; it's to get Paula to like me. Or at least accept me with halfway open arms. And since, clearly, she still hates me at the moment and is just quieter and less aggressive about it, Spencer and I have devised a plan. The first step is what we're doing in my room at this very moment: creating a list of guidelines we're going to follow, because, as we now have realized, making out in front of Paula is not going to get her to like me. Once we've got the list completely made, we're going to try out the whole "controlling our hormones around her" thing, I'll be super sweet to Spencer and look like the perfect girlfriend, and then everything will be how it should've been in the first place. And Paula will absolutely adore me. The end.

We've got a long way to go, but we're determined.

"Okay, so we've covered the basics," I establish, crossing my arms. "No being all touchy-feely around her unless we're really sweet about it, and no flirting unless, once again, it's like super innocent. Except I don't really _do _innocent flirting…"

"See, that's why I was going to say no flirting at all," Spencer points out, chewing on the pencil eraser now.

I give her an approving look. "Wow, you know me too well."

She just smirks, then looks back down at the list. "Okay, so…oh! You need to have a filter around her from now on."

"Huh?"

"When you talk," she clarifies. "Think before you speak. She thinks you're rude and obnoxious."

"I _am_ rude and obnoxious."

She wrinkles her nose. "You are not!" I raise an eyebrow at her. "Okay, maybe sometimes. But it's just a part of the Ashley I love. And once my mom approves of you and loosens up a little, you don't have to be so proper and polite around her."

"Okay," I begin, straightening up. "So what's the plan for tonight?"

"Well, as you know, Clay is flying in for the summer, and we're having our first dinner as a whole family again since my birthday. And since you're eventually going to be a part of our family…" I can't help grinning at the thought of that, unconsciously fiddling with the ring on my finger. "…I figured why not invite you over for dinner? Dad approved, Glen approved, and Clay's fine with it, so you're coming over. And now we've just got to get my mom to love you as much as I do, and things'll be great just in time for me to go to college in a couple months."

"Sounds like a plan," I reply, clapping my hands together.

"Think you can do it?" she asks me carefully, raising an eyebrow.

I give a firm nod in response. "Bring on the family dinner."

* * *

We're almost to Spencer's front door when she tugs on my hand all of a sudden, forcing me to come to a stop. "Wait a second."

"Hmm?" I ask, but without responding, Spencer is suddenly tugging me out of view of the front door, pressing me against the side of her house, and kissing me…hard. My hands try to find purchase in her hair but she quickly holds them at bay, confusing me even further until she pulls away, breathing heavily.

"I just figured we should get this out of our systems first," she admits, still a little breathless, then tries to pull away from me, presumably to head for the front door again.

"Nm mm, not done yet then," I say quickly, pulling her back in for another quick make out session…and another…followed by several lengthy kisses until Spencer finally has to separate herself from me forcibly. I let out a groan and rest all my weight on the house, way too turned on to do much else.

The front door swings open and Spencer gasps, then tugs me back onto the sidewalk leading up to it in an effort to look normal.

"Spenc-" Paula starts to say from her spot on the front porch, but then she pauses for a second, staring at us. Finally, she stiffly continues, "I thought I heard someone pull up. Good to see you're here on time."

I turn to shoot Spencer a confused look as Paula heads inside…and immediately blush, realizing why Spencer didn't want my hands in her hair at first and why it was stupid of us to forget about that as soon as we got too into kissing. Her hair…well, it's kind of messy. I'm willing to bet mine doesn't look much better, and it doesn't take a genius to figure out what we must've just been doing.

"That was totally your fault," I tell her bluntly. "Your suggestion."

She just sighs and lets me fix her hair, then returns the favor when I'm done. "Alright, I'll admit this isn't the best start ever, but by the end of tonight…my mom will hate you less than she does right now." Which isn't really saying much. "Deal?"

"Deal," I agree, but suddenly I'm not feeling so confident anymore.

* * *

"Ashley! Dude, you've gotta come check this out, I-"

I yank my arm out of Glen's grasp, glaring at him while he shoots me a confused look. Spencer's gone into the kitchen by now to talk to Clay and every other Carlin besides Glen, who, obviously, is busy bugging me at the moment. "Stop it; I'm not looking at hot girls with you tonight."

His eyebrows furrow. "Why not?"

"I'm trying to impress your mother," I say, sniffing delicately. He blinks, then starts laughing. "Shut up!" I exclaim, shoving him. "You can't ruin this for me; Paula's the only person left who's still giving Spencer and I shit about being together. Once she approves, things will be perfect." I hope I don't sound too wistful, but judging by Glen's expression…I do.

"Uh…I think you might be fighting a losing battle, Ash." He crosses my arms. "I hate to break it to you, but my mom hates your guts. Even if she is managing to hide it for now."

"Shut up," I repeat, glancing in the direction of the kitchen. "She'll love me by the end of tonight. Just wait and see."

He chuckles as I turn on my heel and head into the kitchen, taking my spot next to Spencer and grabbing her hand while the rest of the Carlins watch me.

"Hey, Ashley," Clay says happily, smiling at me. I smile back.

"Hey."

There's a short pause as Glen joins us, and we all stand here for a moment, completely silent. Luckily, the awkward moment is interrupted by the timer going off on the oven.

"Ah…time for Arthur Carlin's famous lasagna!" Arthur brags, grabbing an oven mitt and opening the oven to take the lasagna out. Glen licks his lips.

"I'm starving; hurry it up, Dad."

He laughs, setting the lasagna down on top of the stove so it can cool off. "We can't eat dinner until someone sets the table, Glen, and I think the job might have your name on it."

I cut in before Glen can respond, raising my hand in the air and waving it wildly. "Oh! I'll do it, Mr. Carlin!"

He looks surprised, but grins anyway and gives me an approving nod. "Go right ahead, Ashley; the silverware's in the second drawer on the left."

I'm by that drawer in a second, sneaking a glance Paula's way to see her reaction. She's watching Arthur cut the lasagna into squares, and hasn't even looked at me. Great.

Spencer, on the other hand, is biting her lip and looking kind of amused. I shoot her a silly smile, fumbling with the six spoons, knives, and forks in my arms and trying not to look too terrified when I nearly drop them all.

I finally reach the table with all three Carlin children watching me, then dump the silverware onto it and hurry back into the kitchen for six napkins.

Now…how to set the table. I've never done this before. I know two things go on the left and one goes on the right. Or is it one on the left and two on the right? Which side does the napkin go on? And which silverware goes on the left and which goes on the right? Shit.

"Here," Spencer whispers in my ear, suddenly beside me, and I find myself blushing furiously as she does the cutest thing ever…grabs my hand with hers and guides me through the process of setting up the first napkin, spoon, knife, and fork in the proper places, that way I have a model to work with for the next five times I do this. When we're done, she pulls her hand away and kisses me on the cheek, grinning when she sees how red my face is. "I'll go get the plates," she offers, and just a minute later, I'm done with the table and admiring my handiwork.

Paula seems unimpressed as she sits down at the table, and even a little disgusted that my hands have been on her silverware.

Bitch. I think she's just determined to hate me.

Spencer goes to sit down and I hurry forward, drawing her chair out for her and gesturing for her to take a seat. She and I grin at each other and Glen snickers.

Finally, we're all seated, Clay and Glen on one side of the table, Spencer and I on the other, with Paula and Arthur at the heads. Spencer's playing with my fingers the whole time Arthur's blessing the food, and I can feel my stomach grumbling as I wait for Arthur to finish.

We all dig in eagerly, and I have to admit, I'm pretty proud of myself. No elbows on the table, and I'm chewing with my mouth closed. And I haven't blurted anything stupid out yet.

Clay's just finished summarizing what he thought of his first year at college, when I grab my napkin and dab at my mouth and his eyes suddenly shoot to my hand. "Whoa, what's that?"

I think everyone immediately knows what he's talking about, and I feel my cheeks heating up again. Spencer blushes next to me and mumbles, "A ring."

"Yes, but what _kind _of ring?" Clay presses. Glen's smirking at me, Arthur's smiling, and Paula's staring down at her plate, still eating. "An engagement ring?"

He's reminding me of Kyla right now. "A promise ring," I finally supply, figuring I should speak up. "We're not getting engaged yet."

"And for good reason," Paula cuts in, choosing now to speak. I'm not really liking where this is going, and she's only said four words. "They're way too young, and Spencer's going off to college, meeting new people. A commitment like that is only going to hold her back."

Here we go.

I tense unconsciously, and Spencer counters with, "Well, _mother_, I think we're all pretty aware that Ashley and I are going to get married, so this _commitment _isn't really a problem." She's squeezing my hand kind of tightly now and I don't think she realizes it.

"All I'm saying is that you're going through a lot of changes right now," Paula replies lightly without looking at her. "Who knows? Maybe you'll go off to college and find a nice b-"

"Paula," Arthur warns before she can get the next word out, and inwardly, I'm thanking him a thousand times over because I'm pretty sure Spencer was about to start shouting. "I thought we had this discussion with Spencer already."

"I just want her to keep her options open. She's young and she's got plenty of time to figure things out; I don't want her just rushing into the first-"

"I'm not rushing!"

"Look, I'm just saying that maybe you and Ashley need to take a step back and think about whether or not this is where you want to be in ten years, is all."

"I'm right where I want to be," I cut in swiftly, unable to keep myself from arguing.

"I thought you said you were going to try and understand," Spencer says angrily, crossing her arms.

Paula takes a deep breath, then lets it out slowly. Meanwhile, every male at the table keeps looking back and forth between Spencer, Paula, and I, like they aren't sure what even started this and how badly it's going to end. "I am; I do. I understand that you and Ashley feel that you're in love, and that right now, you two…" She lets out a little laugh before finishing, "…want to spend the rest of your lives together. _But_, I also understand that you're both young and in my opinion, you're too young to be making choices about who to spend the rest of your life with."

"Okay, first of all, we don't _feel _we're in love, we are," Spencer replies, clearly trying to keep her voice even. I join the guys in looking back and forth between her and Paula. "And secondly, don't try to make this about something it's not. Maybe we are young. Who cares? Nothing's finalized anyway." She catches the look I give her and squeezes my hand reassuringly, before turning back to Paula. "But I wouldn't be upset even if it was. This is what I want, and _your _problem is that my life isn't going to go the way you wanted, so don't even try to act like you're worried about what I want or what I'll want in the future. This is about what _you _want." Paula sighs, then puts down her silverware, ready to speak. "And you know what? Even if something _did _happen with Ashley and I, and, God forbid, we broke up…I wouldn't go back to dating guys. This is not a phase, and it's not her fault I'm gay. So maybe you should stop hating her for loving me and start treating her the way she deserves to be treated…like family."

"Spencer-"

"Oh, and who are _you_ to lecture _me _about being too young, anyway?" Spencer injects incredulously, clearly about to go off on a whole different tangent. "I heard you and grandma talking at my birthday party last month. You and Dad got married before you even turned twenty! The only difference between that and _this _is that Ashley's a girl, we're not engaged yet, and I'm not pregnant. So don't even talk to me about being _too young_."

We're all staring at her right now, wide-eyed…even Paula.

Spencer yelling at her mom is even hotter the second time around.

Arthur's the first to get his bearings, and interrupts the silence by clearing his throat. It doesn't do anything to ease the tension. "So…anyone ready for seconds?"


	48. Keep the Telepathy to a Minimum

**A/N: 100,000 hits! You guys are awesome. Your reviews are awesome. The fact that I'm having so much fun writing this story is awesome. And the game Catch Phrase is awesome, so it's in this chapter. That is all. **

* * *

"Is it wrong that I, like…get off on seeing you pissed at your mom?"

"Uh…maybe a little."

After a mostly silent dinner, Glen and Clay went to go play video games in the living room, and seeing as how Arthur kept looking at Paula liked he wanted to speak to her alone, Spencer and I decided to go up to her room for some quality time. Unfortunately, the rest of her family is still up and about, so this is of the semi-innocent variety, even though we're on her bed.

"Well, I think it's hot. Maybe it's just you being angry in general. Like that time we ran into that girl at Ego and you stood up for me…whew. If I hadn't been worried about you, I seriously would've attacked you once we got into my bedroom." I wrinkle my nose at her, running my hands over her stomach while I'm straddling her waist. Like I said…semi-innocent. "But you angry at Paula might be my favorite, just 'cause I don't like her very much."

"Oh, she'll be bawling at our wedding along with everyone else," Spencer assures me, smirking.

"Now _that _I don't deny."

She smacks my arm. "I meant in the happy way. She just needs time."

"And a little more straightening out from you, of course. Maybe I can watch?"

"Shut up; I'm being serious." She squirms under me, and I take the hint and slide back a little, letting her sit up. "Maybe that's what we're doing wrong. I keep trying to convince her, and we both keep trying to prove to her that you're the one for me. Maybe we should just leave it, and over time she'll just…get used to the idea?" She looks to me curiously.

"Whatever you want to do," I reply, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. "I'll love you whether you have a supportive mom or not."

"I know you will," she says lightly, wrapping her arms around my neck and smiling at me.

I raise an eyebrow. "Oh, really now?"

"Yup." She grins. "You adore me."

"I do."

"Practicing for our wedding already?"

"Of course." I lift my hand to look at the ring on my finger, then glance at Spencer's own left hand, which is bare. "Maybe we should go and get you one too."

"Too much money," Spencer says dismissively.

"Not for me."

"You already bought me a car, Ash."

I furrow my eyebrows, then frown at her. "Are you sure you just don't want to wear a ring because you're going to college in a couple of months?"

She shoots me an incredulous look, then forces a smile and tilts her head to the side. "Alright, because I'm _such _an amazing girlfriend, I'll give you the opportunity to take that back in the next three seconds."

"Sorry," I say immediately, letting her pull me in for a quick kiss in her silent acceptance of my apology.

When we break apart, she rests a hand on my cheek and leans forward so our foreheads are pressed together. "Ashley Davies, I have no problem telling everyone on this planet that I'm taken, especially when you're my girlfriend. If you start going all crazy and accusing me of cheating, I might have to have you committed."

I wrinkle my nose. "Well…you're right about one thing. I'm not the girl that gets cheated on." I shoot her a grin. "I'm the other woman."

"If you want to keep me around you better _not _be anyone else's other woman," she threatens playfully.

"Oh? But I can be yours?" I counter.

"You're my _girlfriend_," she corrects, licking her lips and tugging me to her gently by my hair this time.

"Mhmm," I agree wholeheartedly, biting down on her lip and then sucking it into my mouth. Spencer smiles into the kiss and tangles her hands in my hair, scratching lightly at my scalp in a way that makes me feel kind of tingly.

"I should go back to your place with you tonight," she whispers in my ear before trailing her tongue around the edge. I swallow to stop myself from drooling. I'm actually not completely sure I can keep with this new seductive and even sexier Spencer.

"We just had sex, like, three days ago," I remind her, not sure why I'm arguing. Maybe because I'm supposed to be trying to impress her mom tonight, and even though that's pretty much not an option at this point, taking her daughter with me when I leave _probably _isn't the best way to end this disaster of a family dinner night.

She pulls away from me at that, smirking. "Okay, first of all, who says we're having sex just because I said I wanted to go back to your place with you?" I think she just likes seeing me blush. "And secondly, so? Three days feels like forever when we only have sixty days left to live this close to each other."

"You're right," I agree sadly, pouting at her. "We should be having more sex, shouldn't we?"

She rolls her eyes at me. "Now you're just making fun of me."

"Nah, I'm being serious. Let's do it. Right now." I say with a completely straight face.

Spencer glares at me for a moment, trying not to smile, then rolls us over all of a sudden, straddling me and pinning my arms above my head. "Okay," she says simply. "What do you want me to do?"

I blink at her. "Pinch me?"

"Clever."

"Thanks."

I grin at her and sit up, and she lets my hands go a moment later, then surprises me by leaning forward and resting her head on my shoulder and murmuring, "You make me so happy."

Before I can reply, Glen opens the door all of a sudden and interrupts. "Hey, lovebirds, before you two get to doing the dirty dirty just a floor above us straight folk, I thought I'd let you know that Mom and Dad have finished their political discussion on homosexuality and you two are cool to come hang with us, if you want."

Spencer chucks a pillow at him and he closes the door so it misses, then opens it again to stick his tongue out at her before heading back downstairs. "He's such an idiot," Spencer mutters. I just lean over and kiss her ear, figuring it'd be best for me to keep the fact that I think Glen's pretty awesome quiet for now.

"Wanna go downstairs?"

"No," she says immediately. I laugh and she finishes, "But I guess we should, huh?"

"Probably." I smirk at her. "Or we could stay up here and fake a bunch of moans, just to freak your mom out."

"Who says they'd be fake?" Spencer retorts with a smirk of her own.

"Touché." I grab her hand and get off of the bed, then help her to her feet. "But we should probably go downstairs, if we want to have any chance of salvaging any possible positive feelings Paula might have for me at the moment."

"How're you going to do that?"

"I don't know yet. But I'll figure it out."

* * *

"Okay, uh…" Glen stares down at the small electronic device in front of him for a moment, then sets it down on the table and rubs his hands together. "Alright, I got this one."

We're playing Catch Phrase. It's this game where one person is given a random word or phrase, and they have to get their teammates to guess that word or phrase. It's Spencer, me, and Glen versus Arthur, Paula, and Clay. They're kicking our butts, but only because Glen sucks.

"Okay, Mom and Dad are…" He trails off expectantly.

"Old?" That earns Spencer a glare. "Married? Sitting next to each other?"

He sighs, then shakes his head. "_No_. You and Ashley are…"

"Gay!" I cry out.

"No! You're in…"

"…Side?" Spencer tries. Paula, Arthur, and Clay are shooting the three of us knowing looks, and it's aggravating that they all seem to have this figured this out.

"No!" He sighs. "Okay…hearts, the color red, caring about someone…"

"Love!" I shout.

"Yes!" He points at me happily. "Now for the second word!"

Spencer slaps a hand to her forehead.

"You read a…"

"Book. Novel. Newspaper," I list, ticking my fingers off. He sighs again, realizing this isn't going to work.

"Um…" Glen snaps his fingers suddenly. "It's a Taylor Swift song!"

I stare at him blankly, but Spencer jumps up and cries, "Love Story!"

Glen lets out a whoop and wraps his arms around Spencer, pulling her up in an impromptu spin of celebration before dropping back onto the couch with Spencer on his lap. I roll my eyes at them and pull her onto my lap instead as Arthur moves to stand in front of us. It takes him about twenty seconds to get Paula and Clay to guess "a zebra can't change its stripes". Honestly, I don't know how he does it. I think it might be because he and Paula have had plenty of experience with reading each other's minds by now.

It's my turn, so I hop up and take the device when Arthur offers it to me, pressing the button to see what my next word or phrase will be. "Rawr," I say lamely, forming a claw with one hand.

"The Lion King!" Spencer shouts. I grin at her and return to my seat to several aggravated groans from the Carlins. Spencer wraps an arm around me and smiles proudly.

Yeah, it's definitely Glen that sucks. Spencer and I's telepathy rivals her parents'. Plus we're a cuter couple. C'mon…how can Paula resist us? We can even read each other's minds just like she and Arthur.

Catch Phrase was a good idea.

"Okay, um…" Spencer says once she's up there, ready to give us clues. Her cheeks pink a little before she sets the device down, and then she glances over at Paula hastily. For once, Spencer looks stumped.

"Don't count your chickens before they hatch! Innocent until proven guilty!" Glen tries at random while we listen to the timer slowly start to speed up. "Once in a blue moon! It's not over 'til the fat lady sings!"

"Shut up, Glen," Spencer orders, aggravated. She keeps glancing at me and then at Paula and she's still blushing a little like she's nervous and doesn't want to hint at it in front of her mother, and so I guess the first thing that comes to mind.

"I love you?"

"I love you too," she says sweetly, before brightening suddenly like she's just realized something and adding, "Oh, hey, that was totally it!" She practically skips back to the couch and plops down next to me, kissing me on the cheek and whispering, "You're so smart."

"I quit," Glen blurts out, getting up and leaving, and there's some murmured agreement as everyone else in the room begins to disperse. Spencer and I frown, confused.

Surprisingly, Spencer, Paula, and I end up being the only ones left here, and so we all just kind of sit here awkwardly for a moment, trying to figure out what to do.

"Want to play for fun?" Spencer finally suggests, already standing up to go and get the game before I can whisper that that's probably not a very good idea. As we've seen previously, pitting Paula and I against each other is not a good idea.

Grudgingly, I scoot a little closer to Paula so that we're sort of side by side but not really touching, and Spencer clears her throat, before looking down at her first word. She's barely gotten three fingers up before I say, "Three's a crowd."

Irony.

Spencer pouts, then says, "Alright, let me do a second one. That one was too easy." She presses the button again, furrows her eyebrows for a moment, and then fakes a yawn, before rapidly flapping her arms around. Paula looks at her like she's nuts.

"The early bird gets the worm."

Spencer huffs, then clicks the button again, shooting me a look that tells me to give Paula a chance to guess this time. I smile back sheepishly as she glances down to see what word or phrase she's gotten. Then she holds up nine fingers. I keep my mouth shut resolutely.

"Uh…nine yards, nine planets…Nine Inch Nails?" I gotta give her props for that last guess, even though it's wrong.

"Mom, there are only eight planets now," Spencer reminds her shortly, clearly having given up. She shoots me an expectant look.

"Nine lives." That one wasn't Spencer; I just happened to have figured it out. Paula still looks miffed, though, and I can't help but take the opportunity to smirk and abruptly blurt out, "Guess I know Spencer better than you do after all, huh? Glad to have it finally settled."

I'm just joking, but Paula doesn't look at me and just murmurs, almost sadly, "Guess so."

My smile falters, and Spencer just looks aggravated when I catch her eye, like she knows I've screwed up, too. It's the final nail in the coffin.

Tonight was a complete failure, and we both know it.


	49. Spencer Gets Drunk

**A/N: I feel bad for taking longer than usual to update, but hopefully everyone is vacationing right now anyway and is having much fun as I am this week! Happy (late) Easter everyone!**

* * *

I'm at Ego. Alone.

It's totally not what you're thinking.

In fact, it's been a week since Spencer and I's attempt to make Paula like me, and I'm at Ego because I've landed a gig there.

I'm alone because I want to try this without Spencer and Kyla cheering me on. They actually make me more nervous, I think, because right now, I'm completely calm. Ego's manager is introducing me to the crowd at this very moment, and I'm waiting patiently to go up there.

This is no Open Mic Night, or any kind of musical contest between a bunch of amateurs. This is me getting a phone call from them and being requested to play here on this specific night. I'm getting paid for doing this. They liked me _that _much, I guess.

I hope Spencer won't be too mad at me for not sharing this moment with her. I didn't even tell anyone about the phone call. I just kept it to myself for a few days, then told Kyla I felt like going for a drive tonight. And here I am.

"Alright guys, this one's a song I wrote for a person that I was too scared to invite here tonight." I get a few chuckles from the crowd, even though I'm not trying to be funny. I smile anyway, glad that everyone seems nice enough to not heckle me. "It's called Never Been Hurt." With that, I get started on my first song of the night.

* * *

"So, who's the lucky guy?"

"Huh?" I question, looking up from my spot at a booth, where I'm sipping a diet coke to try and cool off. I only finished playing a few minutes ago, and this guy's already flirting with me. Ew.

"That song, the person you dedicated it to." He grins at me, probably thinking he's going to end up going home with me tonight. I'm reminded of why I hate going to clubs now. "Who's the lucky guy?" he repeats.

He's probably not too much taller than me, from what I can tell, and he's got dark hair, and looks to be in his early twenties. He'd be my type if he was Spencer. "Girl," I correct shortly, sipping my drink again.

He quirks an eyebrow, then scoots into the booth across from me without an invitation. I resist the urge to scowl. "A friend?"

Yes, dumbass. With lyrics like "I'm gonna love you like I've never been hurt before", it's totally about a friend.

"Sure," I eventually reply, humoring him. He shoots me another stupid grin and offers me his hand.

"I'm Mark." I eye his outstretched his hand and don't move a muscle other than to blink. His grin fades, and awkwardly, he withdraws it, clearing his throat. "So…your name's Ashley, right?"

"That's what the manager said," I confirm. He quickly realizes I'm not in the mood for chit chat, and nods once, digging his hand into his pants pocket and pulling out a small card, suddenly all business.

"Well, I work for a record company, just a few blocks away from here. I like your sound and I think they might, too. You should check it out." He puts the card on the table and then slides it across. "If you want."

I'm regretting being so cold to him right about now. "Oh. Um…thanks."

"No problem. There's, uh…my number's on there…if you need to call and…talk about anything."

"Right," I reply, holding back a smile this time as I accept the card from him. "I'll do that."

I hope this is legit.

I examine the card for a few seconds.

It _looks _legit.

I might be on my way to turning this into an actual career. The idea makes me kind of giddy.

"Cool, so I'll see you, then?"

And if this guy's just messing with me, I'll kick his ass. He's scrawny enough that I could do it. "Yeah."

That's his cue to leave, and no sooner has he done just that when the manager of Ego sidles up to me and places two-hundred dollars in cash right in the palm of my hand. "Excellent job tonight, Ms. Davies."

"Thanks," I say, already grinning to myself, because I know _exactly _what I'm going to do with this money.

* * *

"Ashley?" Spencer furrows her eyebrows at me, then rubs her eyes and blinks a few times. She has bed-head and it's adorable. "What're you doing here?"

"Get dressed," I tell her excitedly, whipping out a bouquet of her favorite flowers from behind my back, then offering them to her a little roughly. I'm not quite trained in the art of flower-giving, considering this is my first time, and plus I'm too excited to not be bouncing off the walls anyway. Who cares if it's morning? Today, I'm a morning person.

Spencer looks fully awake almost instantly, and the smile that spreads across her face as she takes the flowers from me makes me blush. "Aw, did you really go out and buy me flowers this early in the morning?"

"Yes, I did," I tell her proudly. She grins and leans in to kiss me lightly on the lips, then pulls away and takes my hand in hers, squeezing gently.

"Whatever you did wrong, I promise I won't be mad."

I gape at her. "Spencer, that genuinely offends me." She just gives me an expectant look. "Seriously! I didn't do anything, promise. I just…" I smile sheepishly, fighting off another blush, "…wanted to go on a date with you."

"Right now?" she questions, still with that small smirk on her face, but I know she totally thinks I'm charming. I nod firmly. "…Ash, this whole spontaneous thing would be incredibly suave of you if it wasn't eight-thirty in the morning." I pout at her and she grins, adding, "But you earn extra cuteness points for forgetting to put on real shoes." She points at my feet and I follow her gaze…then practically feel my face turning red.

I'm wearing bunny slippers.

So _that's _why people were looking at me like that in the store this morning…

"Alright," I huff out, glancing over my shoulder briefly to look at my car, before turning back to Spencer. "How about I go back home, grab some real shoes, and then come back, and in the meantime, you get ready to go out."

Spencer raises an eyebrow. "Do I get to know the occasion?"

"Only if you agree to go out with me," I retort, lacing our fingers together fondly. Spencer swings our arms back and forth for a moment, pretending to think, then smiles at me when I sigh impatiently.

"I can think I can last a few hours with you without getting bored."

I just stare at her thoughtfully for a moment. "You know, I really think I'm rubbing off on you."

"Is that a bad thing?"

I tilt my head to the side. "Depends on whether or not I still get to be the man in this relationship."

"Psh. You are so not the man."

"And_ you_ are?" I question, raising an eyebrow.

"I wear the strap-on," she reminds me smugly. My cheeks go dark red again. I only let her wear it because Spencer feels uncomfortable doing things with _me _wearing it, but _no_, she has to go and make it sound like it's some kind of weakness of mine.

"Ewwwwww! I _so _did not need to hear that!" comes a shout from somewhere in the direction of the kitchen, behind Spencer, and Spencer pulls a face, then shrugs her shoulders at me. I try not to smirk.

Clearly, Glen's awake.

"Alright, Spencer; you're clearly incredibly tough and butch. May I go get changed out of my bunny slippers now? I'll try to go slow so you have some time to pump iron before and after your shower."

She giggles and pulls me in for a hug, further evidence of her toughness, then squeezes my hand and breathes out in my ear, "I said I was the man, not The Aiden."

"You're not the man," I assure her, giving her a sympathetic pat on the arm while trying to suppress a laugh at the Aiden joke.

She furrows her eyebrows suddenly. "Wait, who the hell wants to be the man, anyway? Guys are gross. You can totally be the man. I'll be the girl."

My eyebrows furrow, too. She has a point. "But then wouldn't you be the one _dating _the man?"

"Hmm. You're right…" She sighs. "Well, you like them more than I do, so I guess you'd be the girl."

I take a moment to think that over, before proposing what I feel is a suitable solution. "Can we both just be girls?"

She grins at me. "Deal."

I'm glad we solved this.

* * *

"Ready to go, girls?" I hear Kyla call from the other room. Her question is accompanied by a couple affirmatives from voices I recognize, and I unglue my lips from Spencer's as both my eyes and Spencer's shoot open and then widen.

We spent nearly the whole day together, going everywhere from the bowling alley to Gray (which is super tame during the daytime), and I told her about Ego and getting paid for performing there. She understood why I wanted to do it by myself, of course, because she's Spencer and she's amazingly understanding, but I purposely left out the part about Mark, not wanting to get her hopes up over possibly nothing. I'm just keeping that business card somewhere safe for the time being.

And now, we were hoping to come home to an empty place after our day-long date, but apparently that isn't the case.

In fact, Aiden, Glen, and Clay are all sitting on the couch, staring at the two of us. It's kind of awkward, considering I pretty much pushed Spencer in through the front door and then pressed her into the nearest wall the second we were inside.

Spencer clears her throat awkwardly, bringing my attention back to the current situation, and I hastily retract my hand from underneath her shirt, letting her smooth her clothes out while I ask, "Um…what the hell are you guys doing here?"

"Kyla invited us," Glen says carefully, giving me a look that tells me he hasn't forgotten about what he overheard this morning and didn't enjoy watching me kiss his sister just now, either.

"She wants to go out to Ego," Aiden adds nonchalantly. "Decided to turn it into some kind of girls' night. She's been trying to reach the two of you but we eventually figured we'd just leave you alone since you were obviously busy." He smirks a little before looking way, and I shoot him a glare he doesn't see.

Then, Kyla walks out of her bedroom with none other than Chelsea and Madison right behind her. I nearly gag. "Ohmygod, Kyla, what is _she_ doing in here?"

Madison rolls her eyes. "Back from Lesbos already, I see. Did you have fun on your vacation?"

"Yeah, thanks for asking. Let me know how your trip to the clinic goes," I retort.

"Hey, that's my girlfriend you're talking to," Glen says with hardly any venom.

Meanwhile, Kyla's eyes have lit up and she's already moved across the room and grabbed Spencer's hand, tugging her around towards the front door again. "This is perfect! Spencer can go with us now!"

Madison brushes by me, following Kyla, and Spencer shoots me a desperate look as they reach the door. Chelsea joins them after shooting me a smile. "Hey, I'm going too!" I demand, figuring that the least I can do is be there to keep Spencer company, but Kyla scoffs and holds out a palm, forcing me back in the direction of the boys.

"No, you can't go. It's a girl's night, Ash."

I blink at her for a moment, then point downwards. "Yeah; I have a vag, you know."

"But you're like, the man in the relationship, so you have to stay here," Kyla says dismissively, brushing me off with a wave of her hand. My jaw drops, and Spencer's attitude immediately changes.

She's still laughing when Chelsea closes the front door behind their group of four. The four that doesn't include me.

And then everything's silent, minus the sound of the television. When I turn around, Aiden's eyes are glued to some sport being played on the TV, and Clay's twiddling his thumbs. Glen farts all of a sudden, then laughs and starts using his hands to waft it in Clay's direction, who nearly gags in response and hops off of the couch while pinching his nose shut.

"_Damn!_" Aiden cries when the smell reaches him. "Dude, what the hell did you eat today?" he asks through laughter.

"Let's just say this place'll smell like cabbage and onion rings by the time I'm done with it," Glen says proudly. His statement is received by even _more_ laughter.

Shoot. Me. Now.

* * *

"No, dude, seriously…there's no way Kyla's better. Madison's a wildcat in bed."

Yeah, I'm cringing too. I can't believe they're actually discussing this.

"Dude…I've slept with both of them. Kyla's better. End of story."

"Well, of course you're going to say that," Glen taunts. "You're in lurrrrrve."

Aiden flushes, but quickly quips, "How's it feel to be stuck with my sloppy seconds?"

Glen turns red at that, and I decide now would be best to intervene, before they kill each other. "Hey, can we, like, talk about something else now?"

That has absolutely no effect on them, except it draws their attention to me. Aiden smirks like he's just gotten an idea. "Hey, I bet Spencer's amazing in bed, right Ash?"

I have a feeling he's trying to get on Glen's nerves, and it works, because both of Spencer's older brothers immediately wince, and Clay covers his ears.

"Shut up," I retort angrily. "Unlike _you two_, I'm not going to disrespect my girlfriend by talking about our sex life." I don't miss the look Glen shoots me. "And we didn't know you were there; that doesn't count."

"What doesn't count?" Aiden asks.

Glen just flushes again and doesn't say anything, then abruptly turns to his brother. "So, Clay…any action in college yet? It's been a whole year." Clay rolls his eyes and then shakes his head calmly, and Glen explains to Aiden and I, "He's still a virgin."

"Why?" Aiden asks curiously, and I glare at them, then turn and push past Glen to go sit down on the couch. I grab the remote and change the channel to some music award show that's on.

"Not all of us are whores, you know," I turn to say to Aiden once I've set the remote down. "You _do _realize you've made out with every girl that was in here half an hour ago, except for Chelsea?"

Aiden furrows his eyebrows, thinking for a moment. "No I haven't."

"You have," I argue. "Whore," I add on for emphasis. Glen snickers.

"No…" he says slowly, like he has something he knows he should tell me but is reluctant to say. "I, uh…" He rubs the back of his head. "I never got that far with Spencer. She kind of dumped me after we'd only kissed a few times, and they were just pecks."

I don't know why that makes my heart flutter. Well, yeah I do.

Then I furrow my eyebrows, confused. I didn't know one could just give Spencer a peck. I'm pretty tempted to make out with her every time our lips touch. "Huh. I didn't know that."

"She never told you?"

"Nope."

Now I'm stuck thinking about kissing Spencer. And I really want her to come back soon. Instead, I'm stuck _here_, with three _boys_. And none of them are even that cute. Plus, hello, they're boys.

"Hey, who's up for a game of strip poker?" Glen asks suddenly, wiggling his eyebrows at me while Aiden immediately begins to look around for cards.

I fold my arms over my chest, feeling self-conscious all of a sudden.

* * *

"Hey, I'm just going to apologize in advance, for, uh…"

Kyla's slurring her words a little bit, which is already making me nervous enough, and my eyes slowly narrow while she squirms under my scrutiny. Madison's already been "reunited" with Glen, but Chelsea and Spencer are nowhere to be found. I have a feeling I'm about to know why that is.

"Well, I guess I should just show you. Chelsea!"

In comes Chelsea, completely sober, with a giggly, completely non-sober, but somehow still adorable Spencer leaning against one of her shoulders while Chelsea struggles under the weight.

"We gave her a few drinks and told her to loosen up, but I think she must've had a few shots of something strong while we weren't looking," Kyla admits sheepishly. Meanwhile, Spencer's grinning at the side of Chelsea's face and lightly poking her cheek every few seconds, clearly hammered. I'm only mildly horrified.

"Dude, that's our sister!"Glen exclaims, moving forward to take Spencer from Chelsea, but I beat him to it, wrapping an arm around her waist and leading her to the couch while everyone else is still standing in a mob by the door.

Spencer sways in place a little, then her head turns sharply and her eyes focus in on me rather poorly. Then her grin is back, and her hand comes up to brush across my cheek before she leans down and nuzzles her face into my neck. "You're preeeeeetty…"

My face goes red, and I hear several people snickering behind us.

"This should be entertaining," someone mutters, too quietly for me to identify the voice. Meanwhile, Spencer's started kissing my neck. I blush darker and gently guide her away from me by her shoulders, then rest a finger under her chin to look directly into those unfocused eyes of hers.

"Spencer, you're drunk."

"Welllll…" She giggles, running one finger down my cheek and scooting closer to me on the couch to whisper into my ear, "Maybe I am."

"You are," I confirm, unable to keep from smiling. "I bet you don't even know who I am."

"I dooo." She grins. "That's what I'm gonna say at our wedding, 'cause you're Ashleeeey…" She furrows her eyebrows. "Davies. Yeah. And I'll be Spencer Davies." Then she places a sloppy kiss on my cheek and passes out.

I raise an eyebrow at her, not sure what to do, then glance over my shoulder to see everyone else watching us. Even Madison looks amused. "Um…I'm going to take her home," I finally say, turning back around to attempt to get Spencer into my arms.

"Clay and I can get her," Glen suggests, but I shake my head hastily, actually liking the idea of taking care of Drunk Spencer. The last time I saw Spencer this out of it, what she said to me was pretty far over on the unpleasant side, and the next morning she woke up and fled from my bedroom, which wasn't too great either.

New Drunk Spencer memories, here I come.

* * *

"Ugh…"

Spencer's groaning kind of loudly and it's worrying me in more ways than one.

"Don't worry, Spence, we're almost to the top," I inform her quietly, a little worried that we might've already woken up Spencer's parents. We had a pretty loud entrance.

We reach her room and I help Spencer sit down on the edge of the bed, but the second I let her go, she falls backwards and ends up lying there on her back.

"Shit," I mutter quietly, crawling over to her on my hands and knees and helping her sit up again.

"My head hurts," she manages to mumble, a little more soberly now, but she sounds kind of relieved. I don't think she has enough experience with drinking to know that the worst part has only just begun.

"I know," I murmur, kissing the top of it for emphasis, then reaching over and squeezing her hand. "It'll be okay, though. I'll take care of you; I'm always gonna take care of you." I kiss her on the cheek once, before making sure she's steady and then getting up to go get the trashcan from Spencer's bathroom on the other side of her room. I grab the box of tissues I spot, too.

When I get back to Spencer, I set the trashcan down in front of her on the floor and put the tissues on the bed next to us, then slide a hair tie off of my wrist and use it to tie Spencer's hair back into a messy ponytail. "Do you feel okay?" I ask after a few moments.

She hesitates for a moment, nodding, but then grabs the bucket abruptly just two seconds later, leans over, and wretches. I wince a little, reaching over to rub her back gently, and Spencer breathes heavily for a few seconds, before puking again. She sets the bucket down after a few more moments, and I take one of the tissues and gently wipe her mouth off with it, then leave it next to the bucket and grab Spencer's hand, helping her to the head of the bed and tucking her in as best as I can.

"I have vomit breath," she whispers, sounding slightly hoarse, and I chuckle lightly, brushing some of the shorter hairs I couldn't get into the ponytail out of her eyes.

"That's okay, I still love you," I joke, sliding my hand up and down her arm gently while her eyes flutter shut. After a moment, I sigh, realizing I have to leave to go raid the Carlins' kitchen cabinets for aspirin. Spencer's eyes shoot open the second she feels me move.

"Stay with me," she tries to demand, but it comes out pretty weak.

"I will," I promise, leaning down to kiss her forehead lightly, then standing up and turning towards her bedroom door. "I'm just going to get you some aspirin and water, and then I'm going to lie down with you and lecture you on why you are _never_ allowed to go to a club with Kyla ever again. And _then_-"

I pause, blinking in disbelief as both Spencer and I seem to simultaneously notice that Paula Carlin is standing in the doorway, watching us.

I think she's been there the whole time, and while _normally _it'd be creepy, she's got this look on her face. I can't really describe it…

But it almost looks like she's smiling. Not widely or anything…but it's there.


	50. Family Reunion

**A/N: Thanks so much for the positive reviews! I was a total lurker on this site for five years (ever since I was ten, haha) and I've always been too nervous to write and post my own stuff, but I'm really glad I talked myself into it now. You guys totally make the time spent writing this worthwhile, and it makes me super sad that this story's coming to an end soon. I haven't finished it yet but I have a feeling there will be less than ten chapters left after this one. **

**NismoFire - Never Been Hurt is on my Ipod too! I love when crazy stuff like that happens. I was playing bingo the other day at this restaurant with my dad, and was staring down at N34 on my card, and it got called, lol. Not nearly as cool as your story, but oh well =)**

* * *

"Spencer, what exactly were you thinking last night? Not only are you _and _the rest of those girls you were out with underage, but I thought you had enough common sense to know drinking too much _period _has horrible consequences!"

Paula's in mother mode, Spencer's too hung over to even attempt to eat breakfast…and me?

Well, I'm actually enjoying this, strangely. It's the first time Paula and I have been even remotely close to on the same team, and she's warmed up to me quite nicely this morning after she caught me taking care of Spencer last night.

"_Mom_, I already told you that I didn't want to drink, but Kyla-"

"I don't care what Kyla said or did, _you _are responsible for your own actions and I won't have my daughter coming home after midnight so drunk that her…her girlfriend has to escort her up the stairs to keep her from falling!"

I'm nodding along with Paula like a complete hypocrite until about halfway through, when she calls me Spencer's girlfriend. At about the time I freeze, stunned, Spencer stops scowling at Paula and me and raises her eyebrows. "What did you just say?"

Paula's own eyebrows furrow. "What?"

"You, just then, you said-"

Paula clears her throat abruptly, and I swear that, no lie, for a second her cheeks darken a little. "Don't change the subject, Spencer. You're in big trouble."

Spencer lets out a snort. "I'm eighteen, Mom."

"You're still living under my roof. And from now on you have a curfew; I want you home by eleven every night-"

"What?!"

Paula shoots her a look that tells her to shut her mouth, and continues, "And that rule has no exceptions, unless you're staying over at Ashley's, and in that case I want a phone call in advance warning me you're spending the night, and I want to hear from you again by noon the next morning."

Spencer looks more surprised than chagrined at that, and suddenly, Paula turns her attention to me. "And thank you, Ashley, for bringing Spencer home safely last night."

I'm pretty sure my cheeks are red as I mumble, "Um, no problem…thanks for letting me stay the night." I'm kind of wondering if this non-bitchiness is temporary or if Paula has suddenly gotten way nicer overnight, but I'm guessing it's temporary. Might as well try to stay on her good side while I'm there, though. "Well, I'd better go," I say, directing this at Spencer, who frowns at me in response.

"Why?"

"It's Sunday," I remind her, forcing a smile. "You have church."

Glen enters the kitchen just in time to catch my last statement, looking surprised to see me here even as he's laughing in response to what I've said. "Uh, not anymore, we don't. We haven't been to church since Spencer blew the gay secret on Mother's Day." He turns to look at Spencer, and Paula crosses the room, presumably to add more pancake batter to the pan on the oven. "Killer hang over, huh Spence?"

"Shut up," she mumbles, and I take the opportunity while Paula has her back turned to plop down in a chair next to Spencer at the table and kiss her on the cheek.

"Don't talk so loudly, Glen, it'll hurt her ears," I warn him gently, purposefully failing to mention that Paula's lecture a minute ago probably felt a little worse than Glen speaking in his normal tone. He rolls his eyes and goes to grab a pancake from Paula.

"Where are Dad and Clay?" Spencer eventually asks when we're all sitting at the table together, eating breakfast.

"Arthur decided to go into work today," Paula explains. "Clay wanted to go with him; you know how he's studying to be a social worker just like your father." She clears her throat, looking back and forth between Spencer and Glen. "Speaking of which, have you two thought about what _you're_ going to do with your lives?"

"Play basketball," Glen says through a mouthful of pancakes. "Maybe coach a little. Do I need college for that?"

I snicker at the expression on Paula's face, then watch as she turns to Spencer.

"Well, I've already said I want some kind of career involving shooting documentaries," Spencer informs her. Then she smirks. "And then I'll get married and…possibly have kids?" She shoots me a look at that, and I furrow my eyebrows, surprised.

"Huh?"

Spencer's cheeks darken briefly, but she opens her mouth to press on…

Except Paula interrupts her first, scrutinizing me curiously from across the table. "Yes, I think we should clear this up. Do you intend to have kids, Ashley?"

You know what would be really nice right now? If this were one of those Twix commercials where everything freezes and I have like twenty seconds to think of the perfect thing to say. _Need a moment? Chew it over with Twix._

Unfortunately, it's not, and I've now been sitting here with my mouth open for nearly half that amount of time. A nudge from Spencer reminds me where I am. "Uh…um…" I think Glen may have cracked one joke about donating sperm on one occasion, but that's the closest I've ever been to talking with _anyone _about having kids. And Spencer and I certainly haven't talked about this. We're only eighteen!

"Because I _am_ expecting grandkids, you know."

Glen makes an offended noise, but we all ignore him, and I swallow thickly, still able to see Spencer staring at me out of the corner of my eye. I have a feeling she's glad Paula asked this question. "…You mean me and Spencer?" I clarify, a little apprehensive that we're acknowledging the fact that Spencer and I are dating all of a sudden.

Step one: Anger.

Step two: Acknowledgement.

Step three: Asking about grandkids.

I'm a little afraid of whatever step four's going to be.

"Naturally. If you two are dating, and you're intending on getting married, than the next logical step would be to start raising a family. Spencer's always wanted kids, ever since she had her first baby doll to take care of."

"Mom…" Spencer mumbles, sounding embarrassed, and I'm pretty sure it's not because of the doll comment. I think she's upset because Paula revealed something extremely important that Spencer failed to tell me: she wants kids.

Mini-Spencers and Ashleys running around everywhere? Well, when I think about it like that, I'm all for it. "If you want kids, Spence, we can have kids. But that's kind of a while away; we have plenty more time to discuss it. I think it's a little early to be talking about grandkids and kids and…I mean, we're practically kids ourselves."

"Well, Spencer's been set on having children for quite a while," Paula tells me. "So if you were to decide you didn't want any, there'd obviously be a problem."

"Then we'd talk it out," Spencer cuts in, not angrily, but firmly. Her hand finds mine and squeezes, and she shoots me a sweet smile before addressing Paula again. "Just like in any relationship."

Glen grins at me from next to Paula, clearly convinced we're about to witness another mother-daughter smackdown, but Paula just nods in…agreement? "Good. I'm glad to see you're at least taking this seriously; acting like an adult." She stands up, then, missing the look Spencer and I exchange, and lifts her now-empty plate, practically smirking at Spencer as she adds, "Now if you really want to prove to me that you're mature enough to make your own decisions…don't come home drunk again."

I actually laugh out loud.

* * *

It takes me another week of semi-kind behavior from Paula to figure out what she's doing. Obviously, she still wants that cheesy happy family ending for Spencer, with the white fence and the dog and the kids and all that. And, also obviously, if Spencer and I are a permanent thing like we say we are, she's going to have to work around a few things to get to that happy ending. That explains why she asked about us having kids.

Unfortunately, I think this is all more about her trying to find a way to work around the fact that I'm a girl, rather than actually being _happy _for Spencer and me. In other words, her mind is basically saying, "_Okay, so my daughter's gone and fallen in love with a girl. Now how can I make this work?"_

But, as I've probably said many times before…it's better than nothing. And it's a step up from glaring at me every time I'm in sight.

However, _instead_, I end up constantly getting questions like-

"So who's going to be the pregnant one?"

Spencer spits out her drink next to me, and I look over at her, completely bewildered as she struggles to keep from choking on what she _did _manage to swallow.

Glen's eyes are wide, but he's shooting me hopeful looks like maybe I'm still considering his idea to do things the "old-fashioned way", Clay is looking over at Paula incredulously, and Arthur…looks like he's trying _not _to look amused.

Gotta love the family dinners. I'm thinking maybe I should skip the next one, though.

"Ask in five years," I say boldly, and luckily, that ends the conversation.

* * *

I know this might sound crazy.

In fact, it _does _sound crazy. Maybe there's something wrong with me. Maybe _I'm _crazy.

But I'm in the process of turning down sex from Spencer.

And _she's_ in the process of trying to seduce me _because _I'm turning her down.

"Spence, what's a good word that rhymes with luck?"

"Fuck."

I glance up from my notebook, raising an eyebrow at her and shifting slightly on my bed. Alright, I set myself up for that one. "C'mon, I'm serious. Give me another one." I press the tip of my pencil to the paper, waiting.

Instead of answering, she just crawls over to me on her hands and knees and leans in really close to my face. I lean back a little to counter the movement, but she's too quick for me, and before I can move away any further she's captured my bottom lip between hers and is doing things to it that make me feel funny.

I _really _don't have time for this.

"How about…suck?" she whispers in my ear when she's finally allowed my brain to process coherent thoughts again.

I really wish I _did _have time for this.

"That won't work either," I sigh out, scooting back to put some distance between us. Spencer looks slightly hurt, and turns away from me with a soft sigh, sitting on the edge of the bed with her legs dangling off of the side.

"Well, clearly, you're busy, so I guess I better go," she says stiffly, but I recognize the tone she's using and hastily lean forward to grasp her hand.

"Spencer, we're not that kind of couple, so park it and watch me write this song."

She shoots me a confused look, her curiosity overriding her frustration. "What kind of couple?"

"You know, that couple that just spends all their time alone having sex." I pat the bed next to me, reiterating my command. "Sit down with me. We can snuggle while I write." I punctuate my statement with a cute smile I know she can't resist, and after a moment, she smiles and shakes her head, plopping down next to me and settling down with her head on my shoulder.

She stares down at my notebook as she asks, "Why are you so determined to write a song all of a sudden?"

"It's not all of a sudden," I reply defensively, only half-lying. "I just figured I needed some new material." To show to that guy when I finally call him back.

"You have notebooks of stuff," she retorts quietly, nuzzling her face into my neck now. "Plenty of songs."

"And we've had plenty of sex," I point out, kissing the top of her head. "But that doesn't make either of us want it any less, right?"

"Well, apparently, it does," she huffs, pulling away to look at me. "This is the first time you've said no."

"Only because this is important," I tell her gently, not wanting to hurt her feelings again.

"More important?" she mumbles dejectedly.

"Spence." I tilt her face up with one finger under her chin until her eyes are looking into mine. "Never more important." I kiss the tip of her nose, then gesture towards my notebook. "How about you help me out with this, and I'll help you out with a few other things later, okay?" I squeeze her thigh to make sure she gets the picture, and she grins at me, then shifts even closer and moves so her head is resting on my shoulder again while one of her arms is slung around my midsection. Her breath tickles my neck.

"Yuck…duck…buck…stuck…puck…muck…tuck…truck…"

* * *

"So…"

I look up from my bed to see Kyla standing in the doorway of my bedroom. I'm in the process of falling asleep while reading a magazine I borrowed (stole) from Kyla herself, and that probably explains why she's in here: to get it back. Whatever. I kind of feel stupid reading a fashion magazine, anyway. It's not like I need the advice. "What?"

"Spencer was here earlier."

I raise an eyebrow at her, then mentally roll my eyes and turn my attention back to the magazine. "Yup." It was, uh…overall a highly pleasant experience. If you catch my drift.

"Did you talk to her?"

Okay, Kyla's vagueness is already getting annoying. I set the magazine down and shoot her an impatient look. "About what?"

Kyla crosses her arms and leans against the doorframe, looking slightly…nervous? "You know…what we talked about before. Like, late April, early May."

"There are a lot of things we talked about in late April and early May; it's not like I can remember them all."

She huffs in annoyance. "You said you were going to ask Spencer about moving in together when she goes to college, remember? Have you two talked about it?"

I snort, pretending that question doesn't make me feel severely depressed, while simultaneously avoiding answering it. "Why do you care?"

"Because if you move out of here, Aiden can move in. Duh."

I shoot her a disbelieving look. "I thought you were kidding about that. Isn't it a little too early for you two to be moving in together?"

"You and Spencer have only been together like six weeks longer than Aiden and I, and you're like engaged to be engaged or something," she retorts. "And stop avoiding the question. Did you talk to her?"

"No, and I'm not going to," I reply shortly, in a tone that she knows by now is code for her to go away. I pick up the magazine again and start reading about ten exercises to get great abs. Then I remember I already have great abs. Go me.

"Why the hell not?"

"Geez, Kye, take a chill pill," I say without looking up. "Spencer doesn't want to live with me, alright?" Okay, what's wrong with me? My voice should _not _have sounded like that just then: like I'm choking on something. Or, you know, trying not to cry.

"Ash…" Kyla says sympathetically, sitting down next to me on my bed, although I'm pretty sure she wouldn't be doing that if she knew what happened on it a couple of hours ago. She wraps her arms around me and I huff, throwing the stupid magazine across the room dejectedly.

"Get off," I mumble weakly.

Not surprisingly, she doesn't budge. "How do you know what Spencer's thinking if you haven't even talked to her yet?"

"She already moved out once," I point out with a sigh. "If that's not a 'no', then I don't know what is."

"But she only moved out because she had stuff to work out at home. Maybe when that's all finished, there won't be anything to stop her from wanting to live with you."

"Yeah," I retort sarcastically. "You know, other than all the work she'll be doing for college and the fact that she deserves a social life on campus. I'll just hold her back and distract her from studying."

"Okay, first of all, you distract her whether you mean to or not, so that's not even relevant. Secondly, you're not exactly a hermit. Spencer can party _with _you and still be totally independent; she'll just have someone to come home to after class instead. And thirdly, if you _don't _move in with her, you guys will just have to visit each other every weekend, which would suck even more and probably stress you _both _out. Plus, there's no way you two can pull off long distance; you're practically attached at the hip. Clearly, you're better off living together."

I glare at her, mentally acknowledging that she _does _have some good points. "You just want to be able to live here with Aiden."

She rolls her eyes at me, but we both know I'm right. "That doesn't mean what I'm saying doesn't make sense. Talk to her."

"I'll consider it," I concede, mostly just saying it so she'll go away. I hope she doesn't take my agreement seriously. There's no way in hell I'm bringing up this topic with Spencer. I'd never admit this directly out loud…but I'm too afraid of rejection.

"Good." With that, Kyla stands up and exits my bedroom, grabbing her magazine on the way out.

* * *

Flip phone open.

Bright light.

Flip phone closed.

Darkness.

Repeat.

Now multiply that by about a hundred, and that's what I've been doing for the past half hour.

I'm lying awake in bed, wondering what Spencer's doing and if ten o'clock at night is too late to call her. I keep thinking about what Kyla said, and it's pissing me off and making me nervous at the same time.

Could it really be that simple? Could I really just…_ask_?

But what do I say?

"Hey, Spence. I was just wondering if…maybe we could move in together when you go off to college?"

I've seriously resorted to practicing this aloud.

"Hey, we should move in together."

Um…too casual.

"Spencer, remember how you ran away to my house after your mom pretty much kicked you out? We should try that again."

Uh…no.

"Hey baby, how'd you like to wake up next to _this _every morning?"

Okay, now I'm just humoring myself.

Flip phone open.

Bright light.

I pause for a moment, then hit the down button, bringing up my contact list. Spencer changed her contact name to "Lover" sometime recently, I see. I wonder what_ I_ am on _her _phone.

My thumb's hovering over the call button, and my eyebrows are furrowed. I hesitate for a moment, then press the down button once instead and call an entirely different number, completely on impulse. It rings a few times before being answered.

"Hey, um, Mark...Yeah, this is Ashley…I just wanted to talk to you about your offer."

* * *

"I've never been in a recording studio before," I voice, unable to hide my excitement as Mark leads me down a narrow hallway.

He laughs in response. "Don't get too ahead of yourself, there. Today you're just going to sing for my boss and a couple of assistants, to see what they all think. There won't be any contract signing or any serious talk yet. We're a relatively new business though, so you'll be one of the first artists we sign, assuming you sing well today."

"Contract signing?" I repeat, wondering if I'm going to need to hire someone to worry about this stuff for me if I end up needing to sign something.

"Yeah, but don't worry about that yet. If my boss likes you and decides to sign you, then you can hire a manager to take care of all that for you. He or she will handle the legal stuff and other details, and all you'll have to do is sing when we want you to sing."

"Awesome. Sounds good to me."

"Alright, ready to meet her?" We've reached a door and his hand is on the knob, ready to push it open.

I raise an eyebrow. "_Her_?"

"My boss," he clarifies. "She not only owns the record company, but manages it as well. She makes all the decisions, so she'll have to like you if you want to be successful around here."

"What have you told her about me already?" I question suspiciously.

"Absolutely nothing," he replies. "That way you can introduce yourself; start off with a completely blank slate. It's not like I have much to tell her about you anyway, you know. I don't even know your last name."

"It's Davies," I say dismissively, gesturing for him to go ahead and open the door.

He smiles and obeys, saying, "Well, that's funny, considering my…" He trails off when he sees the way I'm looking at the woman waiting on the other side of the door. I can practically feel my blood running cold.

"…Mom?"


	51. Jumping In and Sneaking Out

**A/N: Hey guys! Sorry it took me so long to update, but I took a break from writing to study for finals and finish up the rest of my 10th grade year (so I'm officially a Junior now, yay!). Now that summer has started I promise I'll update a lot more frequently. Also, one thing some of you guys might have already noticed, or would have noticed in the future had I not told you right now, is that I had to change my username. I did it for personal reasons because a lot of my friends know I use that username for stuff (including school-related stuff) and it just occurred to me that it can easily be googled by any one of them. Sorry for the inconvenience but I tried to make the new username as close to the old one as possible!**

**Also, I remember someone asking about Ashley's relationship with her mom because they couldn't remember the details, and the chapter pretty much answers that itself, so I'll just let everyone read on! Expect seriousness, then fluffiness, then a cliffy that isn't really a cliffy. I'll probably post a couple chapters just to make up for lost time, too. **

**

* * *

**

Honestly, my first instinct is to look around for Ashton Kutcher.

After confirming that no, I'm not being punk'd, I turn on my heel and face Mark, who's standing between me and the only way out of here, looking stunned. "Move."

Meanwhile, Christine approaches us from my right, making her way into my peripheral vision, and I see her take her designer sunglasses off and raise an eyebrow at Mark. "Mark, would you kindly explain why the 'potential star' I was supposed to meet with today is my _daughter_?" He stammers out something that makes zero sense, then mumbles out some half-assed explanation about seeing me sing at the club and not knowing there was a relation, but my mother shushes him before he can finish. "Never mind. Just leave."

"Gladly," I reply, already pushing past Mark until a hand grips my arm and stops me from getting any further.

"Not you. Him."

Mark nearly bows, then catches himself and ducks out of the room. Christine tightens her grip on my arm and quickly ushers two more men out of the room, leaving just she and I alone in here. Then she closes the door and gestures for me to take a seat. I just cross my arms and stay put, refusing to comply.

"Oh, Ashley, grow up. You knew this day would come eventually."

"There's a reason I blocked your number from my phone, you know," I say through gritted teeth.

"Yes, I suppose you think I deserved that, despite the fact that I raised you from birth."

"I was raised by the maids. You stopped by to give us cash every month. The only thing you ever did for me was sign those papers so I could go to therapy, and even then Kyla had to talk you into it."

There's a brief silence while Christine crosses the room to pick up what I assume is a mug of coffee. My eyes are trained on her. When her hand is clasped around the mug, she asks, "How is Kyla doing, by the way?"

"She's fine. Can I go now?"

"Graduated by now, I assume?" she replies, ignoring my question.

"Yes."

She raises an eyebrow. "And you?" I just glare at her and don't dignify that with a response. "Of course. I didn't expect you to. Now sit down. We'll have a small chat and you won't hear from me for ten years or so, how's that?"

I grit my teeth and plop down on a chair. "Fine."

Christine sits in the one across from me, eyeing me up and down for a moment while still sipping her coffee. "At least you seem to have grown up a little. You're dressing more conservatively. Or is that because you were supposed to attend a business meeting here?" She lets out a small laugh. "Well, whether that's the case or not, I've done some growing up of my own. I decided to use some of your father's own money to make a little myself. Of course, all he'd ever shut up about was his stupid record label, so I figured, 'Why not create one of my own? I already know everything about them.' And here I am, ten months later: a successful businesswoman."

"I don't really care what you've done since I left," I tell her honestly, meeting her stare with one of my own.

"Hmm." She takes another sip, and I wonder why I haven't stormed out of here yet. "Well, you always did enjoy talking about yourself. So tell me…any boyfriends lately?" She catches my glare and laughs again. I want to strangle her. "Oh, right, you're still going through that whole thing where you like to date girls…although I don't recall much _dating_ occurring back when you lived with me, of course…" She shrugs halfheartedly, and I clench my fists as she suddenly perks up. "I'm getting married, by the way."

"What is this, number seven now?" I question sarcastically.

"Five," she corrects stiffly, holding up her left hand to admire her ring. "Would you like to come to the wedding? You could bring Kyla too, if you want."

"No."

She just rolls her eyes and lets her hand fall to her side. "Does Kyla have a boyfriend?"

"Yes."

"Do I know him?"

I contemplate whether or not I should tell her the truth. "…Aiden, she's dating Aiden."

Up goes Christine's eyebrow again. "The boy that got you-?"

"Yes."

There's an awkward pause, and I can sense she's forcing herself to ask her next question. "So…are you…seeing _anyone_, then?"

I guess that's her way of asking if I have a girlfriend. "Yes."

Another pause. "Pretty?"

"Yes." Gorgeous.

"And how long has _this _one lasted?"

"Seven months."

"Hmm." Sip of coffee. "It's serious, then?"

"Yeah, pretty serious."

"Are you going to marry her?"

"Probably."

She eyes me carefully for a moment. "You look different somehow." I just blink at her and wait for her to continue. "More…together, I suppose."

"I'm not sixteen anymore," I remind her. "Even if you don't think so, I _have _grown up. I can take care of myself now."

"Clearly."

"I've dealt with a lot of things I wouldn't have been able to handle a year ago."

"Mhmm." I can tell she doesn't believe me. I don't know why I care all of a sudden.

"My girlfriend's mother's reminds me of you sometimes," I tell her. "She thinks we're going through a phase." I don't get a response, probably because Christine can't think of anything to say to that. "I don't drink anymore. I spend a lot of my weekends playing games with their family in their living room, and attending family dinners to try and win her mom over."

She doesn't look fazed, but I know her well enough to tell she is. Assuming she hasn't changed, of course. And I can tell she hasn't. "Am I ever going to meet this girl, then?"

"I told her I never want her to meet you." She sits back in her chair, and I exhale slowly, then start to get to my feet. I've had enough of this. "Right, well…nice…seeing you." I barely manage even that before I'm on my way to the door.

"Ashley." My hand's on the doorknob.

"What?" I question without turning around.

"So you're off the drugs, then?"

To my surprise, I almost laugh. "Yeah, I am."

I hear her standing up behind me. "I suppose this girl's what seems best for you, then." She sighs. "…I'm not signing my own daughter, by the way."

I bite my lip. "I know."

"But I know another company that might be interested."

I shake my head without turning around. "It's fine."

I hear her sigh. "Ashley, turn around." Grudgingly, I do. She's standing right in front of me now. "Listen, how involved I was in your childhood may be up for debate, but one thing I will never have my daughter saying is that her mother didn't teach her how to be successful." She holds out a business card, and I sigh, then accept it from her. I don't want her help, though. I probably won't ever look at this card again. "One more thing," she says, before I can turn to leave again.

"What?" I ask, frustrated.

"If I'm never going to meet this girl you're supposedly marrying, I at least deserve to know what she looks like." That's debatable. "Surely you have a picture." She looks at me expectantly and I suppress a groan, then reach down into my purse and find my wallet. One of the photos taken of Spencer and me the day of graduation is inside. I'd rather not part with it, but there's another copy of the same photo pasted into the photo album Spencer gave me on Christmas, so I hand this one over to Christine and let out a sigh.

"Keep it."

"Thank you," she replies, sounding genuinely grateful, but honestly, I don't _care. _I'm done with her. She's just part of a chapter in my life that I never want to have to revisit again.

I still swallow hard anyway, caught between staying for her reaction to the picture and just wanting to leave in case she's about to say something I don't want to hear.

I make my decision, and I'm already halfway out the door when she says my name again. "Ashley."

I stop in my tracks for the second time now, then shoot her an aggravated look, but on the inside, my heart is pounding. _"What?" _

Christine attempts a small smile, but it looks more like a grimace. I blame this on the Botox. It'd look like a normal smile otherwise, I think. "You have a beautiful girlfriend."

She sounds more sincere than she's ever sounded about anything else I've ever heard her say, and I find it kind of ironic that the one time she chooses to be this way, it's during the last thing she'll ever say to me.

"Thank you." I turn away. "Goodbye."

And I leave without looking back.

* * *

"This is such a bad idea. You know that, right?"

Even as Spencer's saying this, she's giggling.

"No, it's an amazing idea. Kyla said earlier today that she's going out to dinner with Aiden and his family, and from what she told me, we should have at least two more hours before they get home. Thus, Aiden's pool is _ours _to use until then, with no interruptions."

With that, I tug her into Aiden's backyard and toss the towels in my hands onto a nearby table. Spencer giggles again and reaches down to pull her shirt up and over her head, then places it on top of the towels and reaches for her shorts. I follow suit, and while I'm getting my own shorts off, Spencer glances around quickly like she thinks someone might be watching us, then carefully approaches the edge of the pool.

"I have to be home early, remember?" she reminds me, rubbing her arms, which have erupted in goose bumps. I stare at the skin that isn't being covered by her bikini, then add my shorts to the pile of clothing and towels.

"We'll make it back in time. Promise." I gasp suddenly. "Spencer, look out!"

"Wha-?"

She doesn't have time to finish before I tackle her into the deep end of the pool, catching her completely by surprise and sending us both underwater in the process. When we surface, Spencer has hair all over her face and I'm smoothing mine back and grinning at her even though I know she can't see me. She ducks back under quickly and shakes her head around underwater, then surfaces and smoothes her own hair back, before finally opening her eyes and glaring at me. "You asshole!" She's still smiling, though.

She tries to splash me, but I take cover under the water again and raise one hand up to splash her in response. When I come back up, she crosses her arms and huffs at me, letting her feet touch the bottom so that her head and shoulders are above water.

"You're mean. You tackled me in, splashed me, and then wouldn't even let me get revenge."

"I'm sorry." I pout at her. "Anything I can do to make it better?"

She nods innocently and moves closer, puckering her lips. I grin and lean in for the kiss, but receive a face full of water instead.

By the time I've recovered enough to stop sputtering, I hear Spencer's laughter getting further and further away. I rub at my eyes quickly and start after her, catching up easily and flinging my arms around her from behind to keep her at bay. "Alright," I pant out, giving in when she turns around in my arms. "We're even, okay?"

She grins again and nods her agreement, and I can't help but notice how wet and warm her body feels pressed into mine. Sex in Aiden's pool is looking pretty good right now…and pretty kinky.

"So…" Spencer says before I can voice my thoughts, running a hand over my hair to smooth it back again. "Want to see something cool?" Without waiting for a response, she pulls away from me and moves nearer to the wall of the deep end, sucks in a breath, and then lowers herself into the water, moving so that her legs are stretched out in front of her. A moment later, she's practically floating on top of the water, spread-eagled. "Pretty neat, huh? Glen taught me how to do it." She turns towards me, smiling in response to my raised eyebrows. "Want me to teach you?"

Why not? "Alright."

A minute later, Spencer's hands are resting just under my back and she's guiding me through the motions of floating. "You've gotta have a lot of air at first; it gives you more buoyancy." I don't know what that means, but okay. "Now spread out your arms and legs…good. Ready?"

"For what?" I question incredulously, jerking my head towards her quickly. The lack of concentration nearly sends me straight underwater, but Spencer keeps me above the surface.

"Don't lose your concentration," she reprimands. "I'm gonna move my hands once you've gotten the hang of it." I set myself up all over again, then try to resist the urge to pinch my nose as Spencer slowly moves her hands out from under me. I hardly have time to be proud of my own accomplishment before Spencer stretches her legs and arms out and starts floating next to me. We both stare up at the night sky for a few moments, and I feel her hand brush mine briefly before she links our pinkies together. "There are too many lights here," Spencer eventually says.

I take a moment to make sure my breathing's even, not wanting to let out too much air at once and send myself back underwater. "What do you mean?"

"In Los Angeles. Back in Ohio, we could see the stars every night. Here, it's just…black and empty." I see her smile out of the corner of my eye. "But you're here, so I guess it's okay."

"I would've never pegged you as the stargazing type, Spence."

"Well…I guess I never appreciated it until I couldn't do it anymore."

I'm quickly losing stability here, so I lower my legs carefully and lift myself up, letting go of Spencer's hand and looking down at her. "Aiden's pool has jets, you know."

Her eyes widen in child-like wonder. "Awesome; where?"

"I'll show you." I offer her my hand, and she grips it instantly, letting me pull her up until she's vertical again. We're already pretty close to the wall, so I search nearby until I've found one, then rest each of my hands on Spencer's hips and walk her over to a jet near the darkest corner of the pool. You know, conveniently. "Right…here. Feel it?"

She sighs contently. "On my back, yeah." She presses herself further into the wall and I take the opportunity to stand right in front of her, resting my hands at about shoulder-level on the side of the pool on either side of Spencer. She's pretty much trapped but I don't think she's complaining.

"What else do you miss about Ohio?" I ask curiously.

Her eyebrows furrow, and I know she's thinking. "Old friends, I guess. My best friend back there was Debbie, but we kind of stopped talking as soon as I moved. I have a feeling she wouldn't exactly be all yay gay though, so that was probably best in the long run." She takes a breath. "I miss how it snowed sometimes. Last Christmas was the first one I didn't spend with snow outside. And I miss watching Bengals games with my family; all the guys were pretty obsessed so it was a weekly thing during football season." She catches the way I know I'm looking at her and blushes suddenly. "What?"

"Nothing," I reply quietly. "I just like watching you talk." She gives me a suspicious look and I quickly add, "About things you love, I mean. Your eyes twinkle." She stares at me for a moment, then a smile spreads across her lips and she shakes her head lightly. Now it's my turn to be embarrassed. "What?"

"You're very smooth, you know that?"

I can feel my cheeks getting darker. "I didn't mean to be."

"Well…" She leans in and rests our foreheads together, then points out, "We've been dating seven months, and we've had sex too many times to count. If you want to make a move, feel free."

I pull away from her abruptly, scoffing. "I was _so _not making a move!"

"You were," she singsongs, poking my nose. "You were making a move and I called you on it and now you're embarrassed."

"That's not what's happening here," I counter. "It's not my fault you have sex on the brain while I'm trying to be sweet."

"Oh, like you weren't eyeing me before you pushed me in the water, then?" she replies, smirking. I glare at her for a moment, then abruptly dunk her head under the water and take off for the opposite side of the deep end while she's coming up for air.

I hear splashing behind me and already have my smirk prepared as I reach the other side and turn around to face her. It takes her a second to catch up, but pretty soon she's treading water in front of me. When she moves in closer, our roles are reversed, with me trapped against the wall.

"That was mean," she repeats, pouting. I make a mental note not to fall for the same kissing trick as last time, and quickly grab her shoulders and reverse our positions again so that her back is pressed into the side of the pool.

"_You're_ mean," I retort, tucking a strand of wet hair behind her ear absentmindedly.

"You're only saying that because I called you out."

"Under false pretenses."

She shakes her head. "Not false."

"False."

"Not false."

"F-"

She cuts me off with an abrupt kiss, pulling me forward by my face and smothering the rest of the word with her lips and tongue. We break apart breathing heavily.

"Okay, so the thought crossed my mind," I admit on an exhale, watching a mischievous smile form on Spencer's lips. Her eyes are saying "Sex in the pool?" and mine are saying "Hell yes."

She cups my cheeks again and pulls me in, and my arms slide around her midsection immediately, holding her to me while we're tucked away inside another dark corner of the pool. One of her hands leaves my cheek and slides right down into the water, over my chest and stomach, dipping into the very top of my bikini bottoms. I press into her fully and nip at her bottom lip, sliding my own hand into her top and squeezing her breast lightly.

She breaks our kiss and her eyes flutter open and bore into mine, dark and full of promise. Her fingers stroke me gently beneath the water and I take a deep breath to try and stay steady. After a few seconds of this, she leans forward and brushes her lips against my ear. For a moment I think she's going to stay something, but instead she just lets out a slow breath. It tickles my ear, and then catches when I barely move the hand on her breast, and I'm in the process of convincing myself that Spencer _has _to have read some kind of book on how to be utterly perfect at this when a loud splash has us separating instantly and turning towards the source of the noise.

We're lucky we're in the dark corner, because apparently we were too distracted to notice that Aiden and his family are back.

And if that's bad enough, Aiden and my sister have just jumped into the pool and are flirting in a way vaguely familiar to the way Spencer and I were when we first showed up.

"Shit," I hear Spencer murmur, and a second later she ducks underwater and swims silently to a nearby ladder. Aiden and Kyla are too wrapped up in each other to notice our presence, and when Spencer resurfaces, she takes a quick look at them and then motions for me to swim to her. My eyes widen and I shake my head rapidly. She grits her teeth and motions more frantically. I take a deep breath, more out of anxiety than due to the need for air, then duck underwater and mimic Spencer exactly, arriving next to the ladder a few seconds later. Unfortunately, I don't quite stick the surfacing, and the small splash is heard by everyone in the pool.

Spencer pushes my head underwater before I have a chance to take a breath, and my eyes shoot open the second I'm under. I look over at her quizzically, and even though it's a little blurry, I can still see her motioning for me to hold onto the ladder. I obey, trying to ignore my need for air, and when I look over at Aiden and Kyla, they look like they're facing each other again. It's safe for us to surface, so we do.

"Anyway," Aiden is murmuring even as he's pressing Kyla against the wall in the shallow end. I pull a face, then feel a little bit like a hypocrite. "My parents have gone to bed, and there's no one else out here but you and me…"

I think I might puke.

We _have _to get out of here, as soon as possible.

I move to start climbing the ladder, but Spencer stops me hastily, leaning in and whispering, "We're gonna have to wait until they're distracted."

"They're plenty distracted!" I hiss in response. Besides, even if Aiden catches us, the consequences have to be better than seeing what we're about to see.

"I told you this was a bad idea," she murmurs to me. I glance over at Kyla and Aiden and get an eyeful of them making out.

"Look, they're not even looking, let's just go."

She sighs, relenting. "On three."

I nod. "One…"

"Two…"

"Three!"

Following my hiss, I immediately scramble up the ladder and Spencer pulls herself up out of the pool, and we run for our lives towards the table with our clothes and towels on it.

"What the-?" I hear Aiden say just as we're grabbing our stuff, but before I can glance back to see how good of a look he got at us in the dark, Spencer tugs on my hand and pulls me out towards the road and out of Aiden's line of sight. We're dripping wet and leaving a trail if he decides to come after us, but it doesn't really matter because I parked my car just down the road, in the opposite direction of the way Aiden's parents would've come back from their dinner.

I'm just smart like that.

"We're so dead," Spencer says by the time my car's in view and we're walking, but she's laughing all the same.

"Do you think he recognized us?" I pant out, clutching my ribs.

"Ash, who else would sneak into his pool while his family isn't home?"

"Yeah, you're right. We're dead."

I reach the back side of my car and lean against it to catch my breath, and Spencer joins me, resting her head on my shoulder even though she doesn't seem to be too winded. I guess I'm out of shape.

"So," I finally say, standing up straight and looking over at her. "I guess we better hurry up and get you back to your-"

I let out a squeal before I can help myself, spinning around hastily because I _know _someone just tapped me on the shoulder. Spencer's eyes are wide when I turn to look at her, and then someone peeks out from right around the side of my car and whispers, "Boo."

We both scream this time and clutch each other for support, but immediately let go when familiar laughter reaches our ears. I try to put my hands on my hips and look angry, but I know I'm failing miserably, especially after such a careless mistake. I parked in front of Madison's house. As if this night wasn't scary enough already, with me and Spencer nearly witnessing Aiden and Kyla doing the nasty.

"So what's up, chicas?"


	52. Advice from Paula

"What are you doing out here?" I ask. Spencer leans down and sticks an arm into my car, then straightens up a moment later with her cell phone in her hand. I know she's checking the time.

"Well…I saw your car parked out in front of my house, so I figured I'm come outside and ask why it's here. Then when I saw there was nobody _with _the car, I decided to wait up for you."

"How considerate of you," I deadpan, still watching Spencer. She catches me staring and sends me a small smile, then opens her phone and starts pressing buttons. I hope she's doing what it looks like she's doing.

"Hey Mom. Just calling to let you know I'm staying over at Ashley's tonight…" Hell yes.

"Anyway, I haven't had much to do this summer," Madison says, drawing my attention back to her. "Glen's all about his family all of a sudden, and Sherry's been off with her new boyfriend. There's nobody for me to hang out with."

"Madison…" I question teasingly. "Are you asking me out on a date?"

Madison gives me a disgusted look. "How was I ever friends with either of you?"

"How are you dating Glen?" I counter.

My phone rings from the car before Madison can respond, and I move towards Spencer, who is still on her own phone, and bend over into the car to grab my purse and take my phone out. Shit. It's Kyla.

"Hey, Madison," I say hastily, pressing the button to answer my phone and then tossing it to her. "It's for you."

While Madison's busy standing there, looking confused, I motion for Spencer to hurry up and get in the car. She takes the hint, and I'm already putting the key in the ignition by the time Madison asks, "Hello?" I shift it into gear, and a moment later I hear, "Hey! Where the hell do you two think you're going?"

Too late. We're home-free, and Spencer is ending her conversation with Paula while I'm slowly realizing that I just left my cell phone in the hands of Madison Duarte.

Oh well. It's better than having my ear screamed off by my little sister.

Time to finish what we started in the pool.

* * *

Spencer's gripping my hips so tightly I can feel her nails digging into my skin, and we haven't even technically started yet. I can't decide whether she's doing this in preparation of pulling me closer, or in order to hold me at bay.

"Spencer, I'm gonna go really slow, okay? I promise." Her nails hurt but I'm trying not to wince.

The farthest I've ever gotten with Spencer is me getting this thing on, and then she always chickens out. I think it's because her few experiences having sex with guys weren't exactly the best ever, and she doesn't want anything that feels even remotely similar inside her. She's giving me a chance, though, and for that, I'm grateful.

Her eyes are open and boring into mine, but the second I start to push in, they flutter shut again. I stop immediately. "Spence…watch me do this, okay? It's just me."

She lets out a deep breath and then her eyes open again, and gently, I press forward, watching her face for any signs of pain or a clue that she might want me to pull out. There aren't any, but she squeezes my hips a little tighter.

My hips meet hers and I know I'm all the way in. I can see her tensing beneath me and I lean down to kiss her stomach, then turn my head upwards so I'm looking into her eyes. "Okay," she breathes out. "Go."

"Eyes open," I remind her. I want her to be with me for this the entire time. She nods shortly and I slowly retreat from inside of her, then push back in in the same manner, watching her eyes widen slightly and her hips rise just a little. My fingers find her clit and stroke around it while I continue this gentle rhythm, and Spencer lets out a tiny moan. I can't hold back a grin. "Are you okay?"

"Ummm…" Her breath hitches and she bites her lip, barely managing, "Yeah, I'm pretty good."

My arms are starting to tremble, and I adjust myself slightly, stilling my hips against Spencer's, then gently rolling us over so that she's on top of me.

_Oh_. I think I can tell why Spencer likes being where I am right now so much.

She shifts nervously on top of me, looking a little confused and more than a little breathless. I slide my hands to her hips and rub light circles into them, shooting her a look that silently asks, "Please try it?"

She's still panting kind of heavily from what we've already done, and I can see her chest rising and falling but I'm trying not to stare. I _really _want her to start moving.

Finally, her hands press down on my abs and she makes a funny noise in the back of her throat that tells me she clearly still loves that part of my body. I feel her push down and she rises off of me a little bit, then relaxes her arms and our hips crash together again. A rush of heat goes straight to between my thighs and Spencer moans. Loudly.

Oh God. I'm not sure who this is going to kill first: her or me.

* * *

Spencer's back is slick and sweaty, she's _still _trying to catch her breath beneath me, and I have to admit, I feel pretty accomplished. "You're really, _really _good at that."

I give her my trademark nose-crinkling smile. "I'm glad you think so." My hand slides up and down her back a few more times while she takes a few more sharp gulps of air, and I nuzzle my face into her neck, biting my lip when her hands find my hips and squeeze. "Thanks for agreeing to it. I know you said it made you uncomfortable last time."

"Yeah…but I think I kind of liked it thistime."

I smirk. "I think you did too."

Her lips form a smile and then her mouth presses against my ear and she kisses it, then whispers, "Can we stay here for the rest of summer?"

I grin and kiss up her neck to her cheek, sitting up to give her a long kiss on the lips. The way she's kissing me back is letting me know that she's not done for tonight, and I definitely don't have a problem with it. "I would love to. But we'd get hungry, and we'd have to go to bathroom eventually too. Three weeks is a long time to lie in bed."

She laughs, but follows it up with a sigh as she reaches up to tuck a strand of my hair behind my ear. "Three weeks. Then I'm off to college…"

I bite my lip. Three weeks until Spencer moves away.

She's giving me a look I can't decipher, but I just force a smile for her benefit and say, "Yeah. I'm gonna miss you."

She just sighs. "I guess so." Then she sees the expression on my face. "Ash, you know I'm gonna miss you too. That's a given."

I want to ask her right now, to move in with me. I'm slowly running out of time to do it. I'm down to three weeks now.

Spencer moved out of here because of Paula, that much was obvious. And Paula's warming up to me now, but she still doesn't _fully _approve. A part of me wonders if that's why Spencer's going off to college without me. I mean, she comes over here a lot during the summer, but maybe she feels guilty going off with me to college and leaving a mother she knows disapproves behind. Maybe she'd be all for the idea if her _mom _was all for the idea.

Alright.

I officially have a plan.

"Now come here."

Spencer giggles. "I'm sure I will."

But first…more sex with Spencer.

* * *

"So, um…I said that I wanted to talk to you…"

Paula blinks at me from across the dining room table. "Mhmm."

This is incredibly awkward. I'm beginning to regret recruiting Glen to busy Spencer so I would have the time to do this. We should've just stayed home for the rest of the night, like we were planning originally. "It's about Spencer."

"I assumed so."

I fold my hands in my lap. "Right. So, uh…I love her." Paula just stares at me, so I continue. "And…I've been wanting to ask her to get a place with me when she moves to college. Like, I would go with her." Still no answer. "But I'm afraid she won't say yes, since she moved out before, because of…" I gesture vaguely towards Paula herself. Her eyes narrow slightly. "So…it would be really cool if you could just, like, approve of us and stuff now. That way she'll say yes when I ask her to move in with me."

I can tell she's still waiting for me to say more, so I press on. "If I _don't _move in with her, we're going to have to go back and forth every weekend. And I'd be around here a lot more because I'd probably miss Spencer so much that I'd, like, sneak into her room and sleep in her bed just to smell her or something." I force a smile, and I swear Paula's expression softens a little. "And if I _was _gone, you wouldn't have to see me as much, so that'd be a plus, and that way everyone would be happy."

I stare at my lap for a moment, then swallow heavily and look up again. "I just…I know Spencer's been talking from the beginning about how she's going to miss me and it's like…she kind of just assumed that she was going to be living alone, which I guess means she doesn't want me there with her, but I just don't think I can be away from her without…" Oh God. I'm starting to blink back tears. I can't believe I'm seriously this pathetic. "I love her so much and we've been through all this crap already and now the distance is going to totally ruin us, or Spencer will find someone better than me and I won't be there to kick the other girl's ass and something will happen and we'll break up and I'll be miserable for the rest of my life!"

Paula sighs across from me, finally cutting in when it's clear I'm about to lose it. "Ashley, I think you're overreacting a little bit. And this is between you and Spencer. No amount of convincing from anyone outside the two of you is going to make a difference. You should talk to Spencer about this."

I sniff loudly and wipe at my eyes, a little surprised that Paula is giving me advice. "What if she says no?"

"Then don't take it personally. Sometimes people just need their space. God knows Spencer loves you; I've spent enough time trying to convince her otherwise to know that. Find something to do for yourself while Spencer goes to college. Your whole life shouldn't revolve around what someone else is doing. People aren't meant to _be _your life; they're meant to be a _part _of your life."

I'm gaping at her by now. "Um…thanks."

She just nods. "Are you staying for dinner?"

I can't help giving her a small smile. I never thought I'd see the day where Paula was kind -like, really, actually, _genuinely _kind- to me.

But I guess things are finally beginning to change.

* * *

Kyla's waiting for me when I get home.

Arms crossed, foot tapping…all that good stuff.

"Hey, Kye, nice to see you, I'll be in my r-"

"Oh no you don't," she cuts in hastily, grabbing my arm before I can get to the stairs. She spins me around so I'm facing her, and I force an innocent grin.

"Have fun with Aiden?"

"Well, that was the plan, but apparently we had company we weren't aware of." She raises an eyebrow. "Would you or Spencer happen to know anything about that?"

"I plead the fifth," I retort, turning towards the stairs. She pulls me back again.

"Repeat after me: I will not sneak into Aiden's pool to have sex with Spencer ever again."

"Hey, we weren't planning on having sex when we first-"

"Aha! So it _was_ the two of you!"

I try not to turn red. "Noooo…"

"You just admitted it, Ashley."

"I do not recall that."

She glares at me. "You're an ass."

"Can I go now?"

She rolls her eyes and releases my arm. "Whatever. We had sex on your bed last week anyway."

It takes everything I have to suppress a gag. "Well…Spencer and I have done it on yours." I'm lying, but she doesn't have to know that.

She doesn't seem fazed at all, and points over her shoulder with her thumb smugly. "Living room couch."

"Living room _floor_." I retort haughtily. And that one's one-hundred percent true. "My recording studio," I add on, just to make sure I win this.

"Your recording studio," she shoots back smugly.

I quirk an eyebrow. "Touché." Then I head up stairs to go to sleep…but not until after I wash my sheets.


	53. Phone Hunt

Sometime around noon, I'm startled awake by my bedroom door flying open and banging into the wall.

My eyes snap open, but I quickly relax when I see it's just Spencer. "Oh, hey, Spence," I say sleepily, still managing to wiggle my eyebrows at her. "Up for a morning fu-?"

"Where is she?" Spencer cuts in, sounding…well, pretty pissed off. I furrow my eyebrows, confused.

"Well, I think Kyla might still be-"

"Not Kyla." She crosses my bedroom and peers into my bathroom, then moves towards my closet a moment later.

"Then who?" I think Spencer's gone temporarily insane.

"You know who," she spits out venomously, wrenching my closet door open.

"Uh…" I mentally think of females I could be hiding in my closet. "I promise I didn't kidnap your mom, Spencer." I slide out of bed, rubbing my eyes, then stand up and head on over to where she is still examining my closet for some reason. "Stop being weird, Spence. Now c'mon, my bed's nice and warm…" I lean in to kiss her, and end up receiving a push so hard that it sends me stumbling back and nearly falling to the floor.

I blink a few times.

Okay, now I'm pissed.

"What the hell was that for?"

"You know exactly what it was for!"

"Uh, no, clearly I don't or else I wouldn't be looking at you like I think you're a fucking psychopath!" I spit out. I immediately regret it when I see the tears pooling at the corners of Spencer's eyes. After a short silence, she heads for my door. I move quickly, though, intercepting her before she can get there, and cupping her face in my hands gently. "Spencer, what's wrong?"

"Don't touch me," she says weakly, trying to push my arms away.

"I'm not letting go until you tell me," I assure her, grabbing her again.

Her bottom lip trembles for a moment, and then she starts, "I called your phone twenty minutes ago…"

Oh God. No further explanation needed. "Spencer-"

"A girl answered and said…that I should back off because you and her were…"

"Spencer," I sigh out again, wiping her tears away. "Madison has my phone. I accidently gave it to her last night and she's had it ever since. She probably saw you were calling and decided to mess with you."

She takes a long time to soak that in. "Oh."

I let out a sigh of relief, glad that she believes me. Wait, what the hell?

I hit her on the arm abruptly.

"Ow!"

"You seriously think I'd cheat on you?"

Spencer flushes dark red. "Well, it was someone else's voice on _your _phone, in the morning, telling me that you _were _cheating on me. What was I supposed to think?"

"Did you not recognize Madison's voice?" I ask, half aggravated and half curious.

She blushes again. "She used an Australian accent."

I raise an eyebrow. "So what was the plan: break into my house and kick some Australian bitch's ass?"

"Um…I didn't really think very far ahead."

"Clearly." I glare at her and she gives me a sheepish look. Then I sigh. "Okay, so now that this has all been cleared up…" I grab her arm and subtly tug in the direction of my bed. "I don't have any plans today and neither do you, so we should stay here and-"

"Wait," she says suddenly, making me sigh and freeze in place. "No plans? Ash, we have to get your phone back."

I sigh again. "Spence, how much damage can she do with it in just one day?"

She raises an eyebrow at me. "Do you wanna find out?"

Hmm. Sex with Spencer all day…or a wild goose chase to find Madison and my cell phone.

I pick sex with Spencer.

* * *

"Get in the car, Ash."

I shake my head and cross my arms stubbornly. "No."

Spencer glares at me, still holding the passenger's side door open for me. "Come _on_."

"Nope."

She groans, then lets go of the door, storms over to me, grabs my hand, and then pushes me up against the side of her car and proceeds to kiss me passionately.

Oh, this is nice.

She finishes up by sucking on my bottom lip for a moment, then finally pulls away and breathes out, "_Now _will you get in?"

"The backseat? Sure."

She rolls her eyes. "Ash, I will seriously leave you here and go after Madison myself, and I promise you, if any part of you values her life, you won't want me to do that."

I have to think about that for a moment. Well, especially right now, Madison's not exactly my favorite person…but she's kind of like the useless baseball ticket you save after you've already gone to the game…she has sentimental value.

Plus I'd rather Spencer didn't go to jail.

"Alright, where are we headed first?"

* * *

"Hi Mrs. Duarte, is Madison home?"

"Ashley!" I force a grin while Madison's mom smothers me in a hug on her front porch. "It's been so long since I've seen you!" After a moment, she notices Spencer standing there, looking uncomfortable. "Oh, and this must be Spencer!" Then she pulls Spencer into a hug. "I've heard so much about you two from Madison."

I laugh a little. "I'm sure you have."

Mrs. Duarte smiles at me and I can tell by the look on her face that we both know Madison doesn't really like Spencer and me too much. Her mom has always been nice, though.

"Do you happen to know where she went?" Spencer asks politely.

Mrs. Duarte shakes her head. "No, she didn't say. She might be with Glen, though."

"Okay. Thanks, Mrs. Duarte."

"No problem, girls."

She goes back inside and Spencer and I hop off the porch and head for Spencer's car. "Why don't we just call Glen?"

Spencer blushes. "I don't have my cell phone."

I raise an eyebrow. "Why not?"

"I was in a hurry to get to your house this morning."

I let out a sigh. "I still can't believe you listened to _Madison_. You know I'm yours, Spence."

She smiles a little and grabs my hand, squeezing it gently. "I know."

I grin and step closer to her. "Want me to show you _how _yours I am?"

She rolls her eyes and pushes me away. "Car, Ashley."

"In the car, on the car, against the car," I tick off, counting my fingers. "However you like it, babe."

"Not what I meant."

* * *

Since we have no idea where Madison is, and since we can't get in touch with Glen, our best option is to go back home to Spencer's and get her cell phone. Plus, if Glen's with Madison, Spencer's parents probably know and can tell us where they are.

Clay looks surprised to see us walk in through the front door together. "Hey Spence…I'm guessing you decided not to kill her?"

Spencer blushes and I shoot her an incredulous look. "Madison has her phone. We're in the process of tracking her down, so we think Glen might know where she is."

"Maybe," Clay agrees, shrugging. "But he's not with her. He went to go play basketball with Aiden."

"Did he say where?" I question.

Clay furrows his eyebrows. "Uh…I can't remember. Mom probably does, though, but she went to the store."

"Alright, first we need to call Glen," I say.

"My cell phone's in my bedroom," Spencer replies, heading for the stairs. I'm practically on her heels the second what she's said has registered. "_You _stay out here," she commands, poking my nose when we reach the door to her room.

"I'm not a dog," I whine.

"No, but you've been showing rabbit-like symptoms today, so now you're not allowed in my bedroom," she counters with a smirk.

"Alright, alright, I get it," I reply calmly. "You don't trust yourself with me in there, Spence. I understand."

"You're such a dork," she says, before slipping into her room and closing the door behind her. She comes back out a moment later, looking a little sheepish. "My phone's dead."

"House phone?" I suggest. She nods and we head back downstairs. A thought strikes me all of a sudden. "Hey! We could just call Madison!"

Spencer raises an eyebrow at me. "Do you know her cell number by heart? Because I sure don't."

My face falls. "Never mind."

Spencer grabs a phone from the kitchen and dials Glen's number, and we both wait patiently. "No answer," she finally says.

"Then let's call Aiden," I propose hastily, taking the phone from her and dialing. It rings a few times, then goes to voicemail. "Nothing. They must be too busy playing."

"Call Mom," Clay suggests, entering the kitchen and heading for the fridge. I hand the phone back to Spencer and she dials a third phone number. Then we wait. And wait. And wait.

"Are you serious?" I ask.

Spencer sighs and puts the phone down, looking over at Clay. "Alright. What store did Mom go to?"

* * *

"Spencer, look! Reese's Puffs!"

"I already told you: we're not shopping. We're looking for my mom."

I pout at her. "They're my favorite."

She beckons to me impatiently. "Come on, we have to find her before she leaves."

You know what would make this so much more fun? If Drunk Spencer were here.

"But I want-"

"No buts."

"Your butt."

"That doesn't even make sense."

"It does when I do this…"

She knocks my hand away before I can squeeze. "There are little kids here!"

I sigh to myself and wander off in a random direction, running my hand through my hair. If I wake up in the morning with sex on the brain, it won't go away for the rest of the day. The funny thing is that this has only started happening basically since the beginning of summer. Probably because school sucks the fun out of life and I'm too half-dead to think about _anything_ when I'm in it. Thank God I'm done with that now.

I realize I've lost track of Spencer and look around quickly, only to see her talking to…hey! She found Paula!

I'm by their sides in a second, joining in just in time to hear Paula say, "-went to play basketball with Aiden, but he didn't say where."

Great. So this entire trip was pointless, and we've hit a dead end.

"Okay, thanks Mom," Spencer replies, clearly disappointed.

"I'm sorry I couldn't help, girls," Paula tells us. "If it helps, I bought new cereal." She reaches into her cart and takes out a large box of Reese's Puffs, and light shines down from Heaven while a shimmering halo appears above Paula's head.

I'm still staring at the box as Spencer's practically dragging me away.

"Okay," she says once she's successfully coaxed me into the car again. "We know Glen's with Aiden. Nobody knows where Glen is…so who do we know that could tell us where _Aiden _went?"

* * *

"Kyla!" I call out, bursting in through our front door and looking around for her. I can hear the sink running from her bathroom, so I head in that direction, peeking inside to see her washing her face. She turns the sink off when she sees me.

"Hey Ash, what's up?"

"Okay, so it's a really long story, but basically we have to find Madison, so we need to find Glen because he might know where she is, and Glen's with Aiden, so we were wondering if you knew where Aiden and Glen went."

"We?" Kyla replies, raising an eyebrow.

"Spencer's waiting in the car," I explain.

She crosses her arms. "And why do you have to find Madison?"

"She has my phone," I admit, rubbing the back of my neck.

Kyla smirks. "Yeah, I thought so, considering she answered it last night. If you gave it to her to avoid talking to me, why should I help you get it back?"

"Because when Spencer called me this morning, Madison answered and acted like she was some other woman I was cheating on Spencer with and so Spencer stormed into my room this morning angry and crying," I say in one breath.

"Wow. What a bitch," Kyla agrees.

"Yeah, so I kind of need my phone back before she does something else."

"Well, I still think this is your fault, but…Aiden and Glen are at the courts outside the school. Not the ones in the gym."

"Thanks," I reply hastily, turning away from her and fast-walking back outside to Spencer's car. "They're at the school," I tell Spencer.

* * *

When we get to the basketball court, Aiden's the only one there, and he's in the process of zipping up a gym bag that's probably filled with shorts and sweaty socks.

I suddenly remember I'm not too keen on talking to him right now.

"Hey, Aiden," Spencer voices when we're a few feet away from him. He looks up briefly, then shakes his head and goes back to his back.

"What do you two want _now_? Another dip in my pool?"

"Hey, hey, that was never proven," I retort, crossing my arms. "We're looking for Glen."

"Well, he just left."

"To go where?" Spencer asks.

Aiden just smirks and remains silent. I groan. "Oh, come on. Don't do this. We've been running around for the past two and a half hours. _Kyla _told us where _you _were."

"Kyla has sisterly obligations," he counters, shouldering his bag and walking back towards the parking lot. Spencer and I flank him on either side.

I snort. "_Hardly_. You might be upset about the pool, but you did it with Kyla on my _bed_!"

Spencer looks horrified, and Aiden, surprisingly, does too. "Did not! Kyla's just messing with you, Ash."

"Dammit," I mumble. "I washed my sheets for nothing." I shake my head hastily, getting back to the task at hand. "You've been one of my best friends since freshman year, so it's not like you don't have obligations too. Just tell us where Glen is."

He smirks a little. "Alright. I'll tell you…for twenty bucks."

"I don't have any money with me," I tell him honestly.

"And I only have five dollars," Spencer adds, holding it up to show him.

He snatches it out of her hands quickly. "That'll do. He went home."

* * *

"Glen!" Spencer and I cry simultaneously when we see him sitting on the living room couch. His eyes widen as we practically maul him, and he raises his hands defensively.

"Ladies, ladies…one at a time, please."

"Where's Madison?" I breathe out quickly, capturing his attention.

"Huh?" His eyebrows furrow.

"Madison. Your _girlfriend_. Where is she?" Spencer questions.

He shrugs. "How should I know?"

We both deflate instantly. "You mean you _don't _know where she is?"

He shakes his head. "Why do you need to find her?"

"She has Ashley's phone," Spencer tells him.

"Okay…so call her."

"We don't know her number," I remind him.

He scoffs. "So call _your _phone, then."

I think I just melted into a puddle of shame and stupidity.

"Right," Spencer says lamely. "Ashley's phone. Of course." She heads into the other room to do just that, and I plop down next to Glen on the couch, trying not to cry.

Spencer comes back into the living room a minute later. "She said she'd meet us at Gray in an hour."

* * *

I feel like we're in a movie.

It'd be kind of funny if Spencer wasn't seething next to me right now.

We're sitting across from Madison, who's got my phone sitting on her end of the table, just out of our reach. My eyes are glued to it.

"What do you want from us?" I finally ask.

If we weren't in the middle of Gray right now, I'm pretty sure Madison would be either breaking out into an evil laugh, or monologue-ing. Luckily, she does neither. "I'll tell you…but Spencer has to leave first."

"Okay," I say immediately, a little relieved. I don't like Madison, but I'm pretty afraid Spencer's going to attack her any minute now, and I don't want that, either.

Unfortunately, Spencer doesn't seem too keen on this, because her head jerks towards me a moment later and she deadpans, "What?"

I lower my voice hastily, "Spencer, she just said…"

"I don't care what she said!" Spencer hisses back. "I'm staying right here!"

We both turn back to Madison, and I smile sweetly. "We'll be _right _back." I grab Spencer's hand and tug her out of her seat and across the club. "Spencer, you have to go."

"I'm not leaving you here with her," Spencer retorts indignantly.

"Why not? What are you afraid of?" I counter, raising an eyebrow. "I understand how it might be hard for you to fathom this, because sometimes I even have trouble understanding it myself, but not _everyone _wants to get with me," I point out. "It's not like Madison's going to jump on top of me the second you're gone and attack me with her lips."

She glares at me, crossing her arms. "What if she does?"

"Okay, you're being ridiculous," I sigh out, rolling my eyes when Spencer scowls at me. "It was a _joke_, Spence. Besides, if she attacks me in any way, shape, or form…I'll kick her ass. I'm stronger than her." I lower my voice and whisper in her ear, hoping Sexy Ashley can put an end to this argument, "_You _of all people know how strong my arms are."

I pull away feeling quite proud of myself, convinced it worked…but then I see that Spencer's bottom lip's trembling and the rims of her eyes are red. I barely have time to look surprised before she throws her arms around me and starts sobbing into my shirt.

I blink a few times in surprise, then wrap my arms around her and pat her back a little awkwardly. "It's okay, Spence…it's just been a rough day, is all."

"Four hours ago I thought you were having sex with someone else," she wails into my shoulder, gripping me tighter. "What if-?"

"No, no, Spencer, stop," I say gently, pulling away from her slightly so I can see her face. "No 'what if's, okay? I haven't had sex with anyone but you since I saw your face for the first time." I wipe the tears away from her eyes and kiss her forehead. "I love you. Nothing anyone says is going to change that, _especially _Madison." I don't think I've wanted to punch anyone more than I want to punch Madison right now, actually. "On the list of things couples have to worry about, this is like the farthest thing down for us, Spence," I reassure her. "I am extremely satisfied in the sex department, and I promise I'll never cheat on you."

She sniffs delicately, then gives me a small smile. "You sure you're satisfied?"

I roll my eyes at her, hiding a blush now. "You know I am."

"I know." She leans forward and presses a gentle kiss to my lips, then rests our foreheads together. "I just wanted to hear you say it again."

I let out a small laugh and kiss her again, then pull away with a sigh and squeeze her hand. "Alright. You go wait outside, and I promise that I'll be out there the second I've done whatever stupid thing Madison wants me to do in exchange for my phone. I'll probably have to go streaking down the street or something."

Spencer doesn't seem too amused by that idea. "Hey, if that's really what she tells you to do, you tell her absolutely not. Nobody gets to see you naked but me from now on."

There's the old Spencer back. I grin at her and give her one last kiss before dropping her hand. "I'll be out in a minute. I promise."

I head back to Madison's table and she waits for Spencer to give me one last wave before exiting. I'm a little thankful Madison avoids any comments about the display she no doubt just witnessed, but instead, she turns towards me and bluntly starts, "I want you."

Wait…huh?

Okay, Spencer can come back in here and kick her ass for me now.

Uh oh, wait. I said _I'd _kick her ass. I don't feel so confident now, though…she _does _have those cheer-muscles, the same ones Spencer still has, and I know from experience how strong _Spencer's _muscles are…

Madison interrupts my mental drool-fest by finishing her sentence. "…to ask Spencer to move in with you."

Uh…what?

I blink at her, then grimace. Everyone is out to get me. I swear. "Not you _too_…"

"Yes, me," Madison replies smugly. "When Kyla called you and I answered and you drove away like the idiot you are, we had a little talk." I'm going to kill Kyla. Even if this is sorta my fault for tossing my phone at Madison in the first place. "Look; you get on both of our nerves. Kyla is with Aiden, now, and I'm dating Glen, and there's no way we want you running around complaining about Spencer all the time after Aiden and I have started college. Kyla wants to live with Aiden, and I want to be able to go to my boyfriend's house without seeing you moping around there because Spencer's four hours away. So here's what's gonna happen: You're going to ask her to let you go off with her to college, she's going to say yes, and you're gonna go far far away where you can live in lesbian fairytale land with Spencer and not annoy every single other person in your life. Alright?"

"Why am I the only person who thinks that _Spencer might say no_?" I say slowly, glaring at her.

She glares right back. "Because you're an idiot." She grabs my phone and pockets it, then stands up, ignoring my protests. "You can have your phone back when you grow a pair."

"I'm _not _the guy!" I whine loudly, attracting the attention of nearly everyone in the club.

By the time I've managed to deflect all the awkward glances, Madison is nowhere in sight.

I'm _so _never getting that phone back.


	54. The Return of Mark

**A/N: Sorry about the wait guys, I visited some relatives who didn't have WiFi so I couldn't get on the internet to update. I'm about ninety-nine percent sure that there will be fifty-seven chapters total, which means there should be about three after this one. I've already written the next two so I'm working on what I think is going to end up being the last chapter. Thanks so much for sticking with this story after so much time! **

* * *

"How'd it go?"

"Fine."

Spencer eyes me curiously. "Where's your phone?"

"Madison has it."

She blinks at me as I brush past her, clearly confused. "Okay…the idea was to get it _back_, remember?"

"Yeah, well…she asked me to do something I couldn't do."

Spencer's eyebrow arches up slightly. "Like what?"

"It's not important," I mumble, getting into Spencer's car and avoiding her eyes when she gets into the driver's seat.

I can hear the anger in her voice already as she starts, "If she-"

"It wasn't anything like that," I correct quickly, already knowing where Spencer's mind is headed. "She's giving me time to do it, still…but I don't think I want to. I'll just cancel the phone and get a new one."

I know she senses I don't want to talk about the particulars of this, and, thankfully, she backs off. "Well…as long as Madison isn't taking calls for you, I guess it all works out."

"Definitely," I agree, nodding. "I'm just ready to go home and relax now. Today has been way too hectic."

"Alright." Spencer reaches over and squeezes my hand reassuringly, but I know she's kind of upset I won't give her details.

Maybe I will eventually.

* * *

We're finally back at my house, and as Spencer pulls into the driveway, I quickly realize that today's about to get even crazier.

Because another car is in my driveway already, and it's not Kyla's.

I'm horrified when I see who is sitting on the steps of the front porch, waiting for me.

Then I'm out of my car in a flash, hurrying to him before Spencer can get there, and hissing, "What are you doing here? You have to leave, right now."

Mark looks startled to see me this upset, and slowly gets to his feet, offering me a small bouquet of flowers that I now realize was laying next to him. "I'm sorry; your mom wanted me to deliver these just to make sure there were no hard feelings. I called your phone to get your address and your friend answered-"

Shitshitshitshitshit.

I am going to _kill _Madison. This is definitely her way of punishing me for not agreeing to her terms.

Spencer crosses her arms as she arrives next to us, looking from me, to Mark, to the flowers he's still offering me. "Who's this?"

"Nobody," I say hastily, already pushing Mark in the direction of his car. "He was just leaving."

"Who's _this_?" Mark echoes Spencer's own words, eyeing her up and down with interest.

Oh my God, leave, please. He's going to get me killed.

"I'm her _girlfriend_," Spencer says curtly. "Who're you?"

Mark's eyes widen, and he turns back to me. "Whoa, you were serious?"

"Go!" I snap, pushing him harder, but he stands his ground and pulls away from me, then offers his hand to Spencer, grinning like an idiot.

"I'm Mark. I work for the record company Ashley's mother runs. We had quite a scare the other day when Ashley showed up to sing for my boss and it turned out to be her own _mother_."

Spencer just looks confused now. "Wait…what?" She turns to me. "You went to sing for a record company? You met with your mom again?" She's sounding less and less happy with each passing word. "Why is he giving you flowers, Ashley?"

"No, okay…I can explain all of this," I say slowly, finally accepting the flowers from Mark in an effort to make him leave.

"Hope things work out with your new label, Ashley," he tells me, clearly oblivious to the fact that I have no plans to use the card Christine gave me. "And with your girlfriend." He winks at the two of us and finally heads for his car.

He's really the least of my problems right now, though.

"Start talking," Spencer deadpans, arms crossed again.

I pull her inside my house hastily, looking around for other signs of life. Kyla's not home anymore, which would explain why Mark was waiting outside.

I lead Spencer to the couch and sit her down gently, then take care to put some distance between us when I take a seat, too. "So…here's the thing…"

"Mhmm," she says expectantly. I really wish she'd stop looking at me like that.

"When I went to Ego one night, the night they paid me to perform…Mark found me afterwards. He gave me his card and said he worked for a record company."

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asks, sounding a little hurt now, but less angry, thankfully.

"I didn't tell anyone. I didn't want to get everyone's hopes up just to have it be for nothing. If something had come out of it, you would've been the first to know, I swear." This seems to make sense to her, because she nods, signaling for me to continue. "So eventually, I called Mark and told him I was interested. He took me to the studio to sing for his 'boss', and when I opened the door, my mom was standing there." I sigh. "Apparently she owns a record label now. So we talked, and I left, and…that's it. Let's just forget about it." I lean in and pucker my lips expectantly, ready to finally get to the sex part of today, but Spencer pushes me away.

"Did things go okay with her?"

I know she's just concerned, but I really don't want to talk about it. "Yeah, they were fine. I gave her a picture of us and told her she'd never meet you, and we agreed not to speak for ten years or so."

"Oh." Spencer seems a little put-off. I think it's because she's a sucker for happy endings and hasn't quite gotten used to the fact that for me and Christine, a happy ending just isn't in the cards. "Well…did she say anything about me?" she finally asks, forcing a small smile.

"She said you were beautiful," I tell her honestly. "And I happen to agree, especially when you're naked, so how about-?"

"Ashley," she deadpans, halting my advances, much to my displeasure. I glare at her momentarily while she sighs. "Today has been a long day, okay?"

I bite my lip. "You just have to lie there, really. I'll find a way."

She rolls her eyes at me. "That's just creepy…and no."

"How about…?"

"No."

"You don't even know what I was thinking!"

She smirks. "Trust me. I do."

I furrow my eyebrows. "Alright, fine. We won't have sex." This "getting turned down" thing doesn't really work for me. I can see why Spencer had such a hard time with it the other day. "But that doesn't exempt you from making out."

Without further ado, I scoop her up into my arms, ignoring her squeal of surprise and the straining of my own muscles as I head for the stairs. I almost trip once, but other than that, everything's smooth sailing, and I kick the door to my room open and then shut it behind us with my foot as well, before lightly placing Spencer on my bed so that her head is on the pillows. I'm immediately on my hands and knees above her, simply grinning down at her while she stares up at me, looking a little flushed.

"You carrying me is kind of a turn-on." I smile hopefully. "But still no sex."

"Why not?"

She sighs. "If you _must _know…-and clearly, you must, because you refuse to leave this alone-…" She blushes slightly and then informs me, "I started my period this morning."

I can't help grinning at the embarrassed look on her face. "Aww…Spencer's finally a big girl."

She smacks my arm. "Not for the first time, idiot."

I just nuzzle my face into her neck and kiss it lightly, mumbling, "We can work around it."

"I don't want to. It's gross." She pauses for a moment. "Seriously, why are we even having this discussion?"

"You could do me," I point out, unfazed.

"I don't wanna do you."

I pout at her. "Why not?"

"Because you emotionally cheated on me this morning."

I scoff at her. "Did not!"

"Yes, you did. Emotionally, I felt like you were cheating on me."

"That's not how it works. If _I'm _emotionally cheating on you, then _I _have to be the one with the feelings for someone else."

She blinks, confused. "Then what do you call what happened this morning?"

"Madison being a bitch to us. And believe me, if you punished me every time _that _happened, I'd be one miserable girl."

She shoots me a toothy grin. "Or a really happy one. Depending on what you consider punishment."

I let out a groan. "No, you can't do that if you're not going to have sex with me." I claim her lips unexpectedly, refusing to let up, even when she pushes on my shoulders. Eventually, her hands slide around to my neck and end up pulling me closer, anyway. I kiss her softly and gently after that, because I _do _realize that today has been a pretty crappy day and it's been an emotional one for Spencer. If I called her phone and another girl answered, I know I'd flip. I'd be in her room with guns blazing; kill first, ask questions later.

It's a good thing Spencer has the common sense to _not _hand over her phone to Madison.

I pull away and kiss the tip of her nose, then her forehead, and finish up with both cheeks, watching her eyes flutter open when I'm done. "You're being really sweet about this," she murmurs.

"You've had a bad day," I reply simply. Then I get a thoughtful look on my face.

Spencer's eyes narrow. "Sing _one _word of that song and you get no more kisses for the rest of today."

I smile sheepishly. "That's so not what I was thinking about," I lie, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. "Anyway, back to how sweet I am?"

She rolls her eyes at me, but then her expression softens. "Yes, you're very sweet." She looks sad all of a sudden. "I don't know what I'll do without you at college."

"Yeah."

Wait…_she looks sad_. What does that mean? Is that an "I wish you were there with me" kind of sad, or an "I'm going to miss you but it's best if I go alone" kind of sad?

There must be some kind of way to tiptoe around the edges of this, to try and get her to reveal how she feels about this particular topic at the moment.

"This is the part where you say something like 'all the more reason to have sex now'," she reminds me jokingly, pulling me from my thoughts.

I force a smile. "Oh. Yeah."

Her eyebrows furrow. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I mumble unconvincingly, pressing my face into her neck again, and in the silence that follows, I make a decision.

I'm going to ask her.

Just not right now.

But…I _will _pick a day, and on that day, I'm going to walk right up and do it. Promise.

I just have to figure out what day that's going to be.

"You're lying," she tells me unnecessarily, sliding one of her hands up and down my side. Then she sighs. "Ash, I want-"

We both jump a little when the phone on my nightstand starts ringing. Normally, it'd be my cell phone going off, but…well, I can't exactly be reached _that _way anymore.

I scoot away from Spencer and reach for the phone. "Hello?"

It's Glen. _"Up for a family dinner?"_

"Uh…not really."

_"Well, you're coming over here, anyway. It's important. Tell Spence to get over here."_

I'm silent for a moment. "Can I spend the night? We have two cars here and I don't want to have to take separate ones in order to get there." I'm not really expecting a yes, honestly. I've only spent the night at Spencer's once since she came out, and that was the night she was drunk.

I wait for a moment while Glen talks to someone in the background, giving Spencer a small smile. She returns it half-heartedly. _"Mom says you have to sleep on the couch. Guess she's worried you two'll be sexing it up if she lets you share a room." _He sounds amused by this, but in a more mocking way.

"Tell her Spencer's on her period," I retort with a grin, earning a gasp from Spencer.

"Don't tell him that!" she hisses. Meanwhile, Glen's gagging.

_"Ew, too much info, Ash," _he emphasizes. _"And if you want Mom to know so bad, come over here and tell her yourself."_

"Give her the phone, then," I command haughtily.

_"Fine_."

I hear more speech as Glen passes the phone off. Spencer's shooting daggers at me as Paula answers, but I think she hasn't attacked me yet because this'll at least get us in the same bed tonight. _"Hello?"_

"Spencer's on her period," I say abruptly, waiting patiently for a response.

Paula takes a while. _"…Thank you, Ashley."_

"So I can sleep in her bed with her?"

She just sighs and hangs up. I assume that means I have permission.

"I hate you," Spencer pouts, crossing her arms.

"No, you love me," I reply easily.

* * *

Arthur really went all-out tonight, and I love him for it.

Fried mozzarella sticks for the appetizers, steak on the grill for the main course with mashed potatoes and asparagus on the side, and for dessert…cherry pie.

It's the best family dinner yet in that everyone is getting along surprisingly well. Things are good from the very beginning of dinner -when Spencer happens to innocently mention how much she loves pie, earning several snickers around the table and even a small smile from Paula- all the way to when we're eating said pie. I'm crediting the smile from Paula to the few glasses of wine she's had, rather than to her newfound kindness, because the kindness is too good to last and I'm still a little suspicious of it.

Spencer's rubbing my thigh under the table even though she's totally sober, and frankly, it's turning me on and annoying the hell out of me at the same time because if she's going to do something like this she better damn well follow it up. Which she won't. Stupid period.

Anyway, thinking about periods while eating cherry pie isn't the best idea ever, so I quickly distract myself from _those _thoughts by voicing aloud, "Only three weeks left of summer, huh? It's gone by fast."

Clay pulls a face. "Oh, I know. Going back to college again is going to be rough."

"That's why you shouldn't have gone, man," Glen tells him calmly, leaning back in his chair and rubbing his bloated stomach. "You and Spence have got it all wrong. Getting a part-time job and chilling with the 'rents is the way to go."

Arthur and Paula look a bit annoyed by this statement. "You know the rule, son," Arthur reminds him, and I'm momentarily confused until he clarifies. "After this next school year, you either move out, go to college, or both. Your mother and I can't continue to support you for the rest of your life."

"Yeah, yeah," he sighs out. "I'll apply for a basketball scholarship and find _somewhere _to go, no problem."

Paula stands up to clear the table as Glen speaks, and I watch Clay and Arthur exchange brief looks before Arthur suggests, "Spencer, do you mind helping your mother clean up?"

Spencer, being the good daughter she is, politely agrees and moves her hand off my thigh in order to stand up. I frown to myself and open my mouth to offer to help too, but Glen beats me to speaking. "Hey, Ash, you gotta come see this new board game Dad got, alright? It's in the living room."

I'm about to argue, but Arthur catches my eye and then barely tilts his head in the direction of the living room. I can take a hint. "Sure."

That's how I end up in the living room with Arthur, Glen, and Clay gathered around me conspiratorially. "We had to get you away from Spencer," Clay explains. "She can't hear this."

"Okay," I reply, confused. "What's up?"

"You can't tell her about this," Glen warns expectantly. "But we're throwing her a going away party in a couple of weeks. The night before she leaves, actually."

"A couple of weeks?" I repeat dumbly. "Why not three?"

"She has to leave early, to get her room set up, get moved in, and get all her school supplies before the classes actually start," Arthur explains. "She might be back and forth between here and there for that last week, but we decided it would be best to the throw the party before she got started on moving."

"Unless, of course…she _doesn't _move into a dorm," Glen says slowly, shooting me an expectant look.

I glare at him. "Oh my God, does _everyone _know about this now?"

"Mom explained," Clay elaborates with a small smile. "We've got a pool going. A bet."

"On whether she'll say yes or no?" I ask incredulously, more than a little offended.

Arthur looks amused, and Glen rolls his eyes and responds, "_No_. On when you'll gather the courage to ask. Madison, Aiden, and Kyla have all chipped in, too."

"Chelsea said she'd get back to me with her selected time slot," Clay adds. "By the way, do you think you could ask her sometime between the 12th and the 15th? I could use money for school supplies."

"I hate all of you," I tell them matter-of-factly. "Even you, Mr. C."

"Sorry, Ashley, I couldn't help but get in on the action," he admits sheepishly.

I huff at them, frustrated, then run a hand through my hair and whine, "What is everyone else seeing that I don't see?"

"Well, if we told you that, it'd be no fun," Glen replies. "Just pick a day and go for it or something."

"I'm going to," I say defensively, crossing my arms. "Eventually."

"Imagine what'll be like when it's time for a proposal," Glen whispers to Clay, earning a furious blush from me. Without further ado, I turn and head back into the kitchen to help with dishes, vowing to ignore everyone but Spencer for the rest of the night. They're all making me look like an idiot; like this is a joke and I'm a wimp. But I bet you they'd all be doing the same thing in my situation.

Well, I'll pick a day, and now I've got the perfect one.

I'll ask her at her party.

* * *

I'm proud to say that Spencer and I have found a happy medium. It's not sex, but it's not _nothing_, either.

We're cuddling in our underwear in her bed and making out like there's no tomorrow, and I'm quite content with our compromise.

Well, okay, not quite. "Still no sex?" I whisper directly after a broken kiss, and Spencer simply shakes her head and leans in for another. I indulge her until I feel the need to speak again. "Not even if it's one-sided?"

She breaks our kiss to laugh. "You're so selfish."

"_You're_ so hot," I breathe out in her ear, successfully claiming her lips again, but she pushes me away a moment later, rolling her eyes and smiling slightly.

"You know, that strategy is going to wear off eventually, and what are you going to do, then?"

"Haven't thought that far ahead," I reply, pressing another kiss to her lips. "Maybe when sexy talk stops working, I can go for the cuteness thing."

"I'm not sure you could pull that off," she teases.

"It works for _you_," I point out, mentally recalling several instances where all Spencer had to do was pout at me in order to get me on top of her.

"No, you're just almost always up for sex." She raises an arm in the air and stretches the other one out in front of her invitingly. "Now c'mon, snuggle with me."

I release a sigh to let her know that I'm not quite satisfied with this, but scoot into her arms anyway, burying my face in her neck and slinging an arm over her midsection. "Smell good," I mumble into her skin while she wraps her arms around me.

She just kisses my cheek and tightens her hold, and I let myself wonder how it'd feel to fall asleep like this _every_ night.


	55. Packing Up

**A/N: Since I made you guys wait another week, I decided to post two updates instead of one, which means after these two chapters, the only one left is the epilogue. I'll try to get that posted the second it's finishedbeing written. **

**Someone asked about a sequel. I have thought about it, but I can't think of a particular storyline I could do other than the usual married and pregnant Spashley one, and don't get me wrong, I'd love to write that, but it's been done so many times that I'm not how I'd be able to make it different or unique, so I'd have to do quite a bit of brainstorming before I could write a sequel. Also, (and you guys can probably tell) the pressure of keeping a steady stream of updates coming is kind of getting to me and I don't think I'd want to have to keep anyone waiting for updates for too long again, so if I were to write a sequel, I'd probably finish it all first and then start posting it, so it'd definitely be a while. Plus I have a few new ideas for stories that I'd like to start on and if I were to write a sequel for this it'd probably have to be as epically long as this one and I'm not sure I'm up for that...ah, well. I guess I'll have to wait and see how I feel about it, but my answer for now is that I probably won't write one unless I get bored with my other ideas and decide I can churn out another story at least 100,000 words long. I will consider it, though. **

* * *

The remaining days of summer are ticking down, and Spencer and I both feel it. We're together twenty-four seven, attached at the hip, and the second Spencer gives me the green light on having sex again, we're at it like bunnies, to the point where Kyla practically lives at Aiden's nowadays for fear of what she'll walk in on when she comes home, and when we're at Spencer's, her family stays away from Spencer's bedroom.

Well, except _one _family member seems to not have gotten that memo, which, with five days left to go until Spencer's surprise party, leads to what might possibly be the most horrifying moment of my life.

Paula walked in on us.

I half-expected her to pull some kind of crazy shit and drag me out by my hair or something, since I was kind of on top of her daughter and all, but luckily that didn't happen, and even more luckily, we weren't really that far along and Spencer and I were both still in our bras and underwear.

I'm pretty sure she just got a brief glance before she gasped and ducked back into the hallway, but it's been two days and Spencer still refuses to say a word to her. I don't blame her, really, considering I've only managed a small, squeaked out "hi" just yesterday. It was awkward.

Pretty much everything is awkward, really. I mean…okay, so it was obvious Spencer and I were having sex regularly, since we practically undress each other with our eyes in public, but it's one thing for a parent to think "that girl is doing my daughter", and _another _thing to know what it looks like _while _we're doing it!

So I'm mortified. Spencer's mortified. Paula's…well, rather stoic again, but I'm used to that.

Yet it still hasn't stopped us from having sex again in Spencer's bedroom.

"Spence, door's unlocked," I manage to breathe out quickly before I'm pushed back so that I'm lying down on her bed. She doesn't respond at first, and I feel her hips press into mine, and then there's heavy breathing in my ear even as she's subtly starting to grind down on me. I suppress a moan, knowing her family's just downstairs.

"She won't come in here again," Spencer reminds me, before leaning back up, straddling me, and lightly scratching her nails down my abs, smirking all the while. I arch my back and go to put my hands on her hips, but she quickly pins them both over my head, then leans down just a little bit so she can slide my hands up to the headboard. I take the hint and latch onto it, and the second Spencer's hands leave mine, they return to my abs, then begin to slide lower and lower. "You're mine for the next two hours, got it?"

I nod enthusiastically, and she grins, then slides off of me all of a sudden. I'm immediately frowning. "Where are you going?"

She doesn't answer, but she doesn't need to, because a second later she's at her dresser and I know she's getting what we've hidden in there.

I love this girl.

* * *

After sex in Spencer's bedroom and another semi-awkward dinner with the Carlins during which Paula doesn't look at Spencer and I, we all sit down to watch a movie together in the living room. Paula, Arthur, and Clay grab the couch, and Glen sits on a chair by himself, leaving Spencer and I to take the smaller couch. I grab a blanket as we sit down and throw it over both of us, and Spencer snuggles up against me and rests her head on my shoulder. Glen catches my eye and mouths, "Five more days…"

I roll my eyes and look away. Nobody knows that I've planned to ask Spencer at her going away party, but whether I'm asking her then or not, I still only have five days remaining until she officially starts moving into her dorm. Maybe asking at the last minute is a bad idea, but I _am _a procrastinator, after all.

The movie starts, and it's one I don't recognize and probably won't pay too much attention to, but the Carlins all seem excited to see it, so I don't complain. Instead, I just pull Spencer tighter to me and kiss her cheek, earning a small smile in response. She shifts, then, so that her back is to me, and settles between my legs, eyes focusing on the screen. I wrap my arms around her midsection and put my chin on her shoulder, then just close my eyes and relax while I try to suppress a yawn.

I must have fallen asleep sometime during the movie, because the next thing I know, something is tickling my nose. I crinkle it and mumble something even _I _don't understand, shutting my eyes tighter. Then there's a whisper in my ear. "Wake up, Ash…"

Fingers slide into my hair and scratch at my scalp and I decide I like this feeling. So I keep my eyes closed and let out a small yawn, then attempt to roll onto my side and snuggle closer into the couch, figuring if I "wake up", the scratching will stop. I hear a sigh. "If you need motivation…everyone else has already gone to sleep, which means no one's around to stop you from spending the night…"

The fingers move from my hair and down my cheek to my shoulder, then down my arm. They end on my stomach, pausing for a moment before sliding down and then underneath my shirt. It tickles, and I smile a little, but resolutely keep my eyes shut to see what'll happen next.

"I see that," Spencer teases, and I force the smile off of my face, trying to look peacefully unconscious again. She sighs for a second time, then unexpectedly pushes my shirt up. I feel lips on my stomach, and then a tongue. My eyes open and I can't suppress a giggle as I shift so I'm lying on my back again. Spencer lifts her head up and grins at me. "Do you wanna go upstairs?"

I stick my arms up in the air and arch my back, stretching, and can't help noticing the way Spencer's eyes drift down towards my stomach. I smirk at her. She's totally checking out my abs again. "Okay."

She practically drags me upstairs even though I'm still waking up, and it doesn't really surprise me that the second we get into her room, she pushes me back so I'm sitting on her bed and then goes to search the drawer in her dresser again. I grab her wrist before she can even get the drawer open, then pull her back to me gently, shaking my head. "Not tonight."

She raises an eyebrow, looking confused. "No sex?"

I roll my eyes at her, smiling and pulling down onto the bed with me. "Yes, sex," I correct, carefully tugging her shirt up and over her head. She raises her arms to make it easier, and I toss the shirt off to the side a moment later. "But just us this time."

"Okay," she agrees, letting me pull her in for a soft kiss. "We haven't done 'just us' in a while." She helps me out of my shirt and I shift to discard my shorts. Then Spencer lets me unbutton and unzip the front of hers. She pushes them down to her ankles and I pull them off, then help her with her socks. I'm not wearing any, so we're down to just our bras and underwear.

"Yeah, well…I think a lot of our time lately has been spent, ah…having sex," I say carefully.

Spencer looks confused. "As opposed to…?"

I kiss her again and gently push her backwards so she's lying down, then break the kiss to settle on top of her. "Well…making love." I brush some hair out of her eyes and add, "Don't get me wrong; sex is amazing and I love it with you…but we're so much more than that, right?"

"Of course we are." She leans up and joins our lips softly, and when she pulls away, she rests her forehead against mine. "I guess I'm just really going to miss you. I don't want to waste a second of the time we have left."

I close my eyes and let out a quiet sigh, wondering how so many conversations we have happen to come back to this topic. "Me either."

She runs her fingers along my cheek, and I feel her breath tickle my face. "Yeah?" Her fingers move to my lips and trace them gently. "We should be together."

I can't help smiling a little, but I keep my eyes closed. "We are." I lower her down carefully and then open my eyes to look at her properly. She looks a little disappointed, and I frown. "What's wrong?"

She just looks away and shakes her head. "Nothing."

"Spencer," I sigh out, tilting her face with my hand so that she's looking at me again. I give her a small smile. "I can't make love to you properly if you're upset about something."

She laughs a little and reaches for my hand, then lifts it up and presses it against her heart. I feel it racing, but wonder why she's showing me this. "Come here," she whispers, pulling me in for a kiss, and if I thought her heart was beating fast just a second ago, it's nothing compared to now. When we break apart, I blink rapidly and register that Spencer's cheeks are flushed. "I'm fine, okay?" she whispers, and I nod immediately, then lean down to capture her lips again.

Her hands slide around to undo my bra and we break apart so she can peel it away, and I do the same to hers. When both of our bras have been discarded, I hold myself up with both arms and just watch her eyes darken, something I'll never get tired of seeing. Her hands rise and begin running across every inch of skin they can get to, and it's got me bowing my head and forcing back moans because I don't want her family to hear us. "You're beautiful," she finally murmurs when she's done, and I shoot her a sheepish smile, glancing down at her body. She's completely bare except for her underwear, and a moment later, her hands slide down and quickly correct that. I help her get them off, and then nearly fall over while trying to get out of mine. Spencer giggles and I blush. She notices how red my face is and pouts at me. "Don't worry; I love when you're awkward in bed."

"I don't," I reply quietly, embarrassed.

She just laughs and pulls me down to her, then kisses me again. The fronts of our bodies press together and I feel my whole body warming. "Sexy Ashley has to take a break every now and then," Spencer whispers to me once we've broken apart, and it only makes me blush harder. Instead of replying, I move to kiss her neck, then slowly go lower, listening to Spencer's breath pick up along the way. I finish up at the swell of her breast and then glance up to see her looking down at me with darkened eyes. I lick my lips and she bites hers, then barely manages, "…Or not?"

I grin at her and come back up to her lips, and she smiles into the kiss and abruptly rolls us over, then pulls away to look down at me. Her hair forms a curtain around both of our faces and it blocks the rest of the world out even more. I raise a hand to trace my fingertip around her lips even as they're forming another smile, and then yank it away when Spencer bites at it playfully. "Hey!" I start to reprimand quietly, but she cuts me off with another kiss and then unexpectedly trails a hand from my shoulder all the way down to my lower stomach. I spread my legs instinctively and she grins, then reaches down with her free hand to grab mine and slide it to her thigh, letting me know in this moment exactly what she wants.

I move my hand before she moves hers, taking only a moment to explore before I enter her with two fingers and quickly roll us back over again. Her eyes widen momentarily but then she regains her senses enough to mimic my movements and enter me, too. I swallow hard and fight to keep my eyes open when she starts to move in and out, then fight even harder just to match her pace.

We're panting together and I'm not sure which is more satisfying: what Spencer's doing to me, or the fact that I can feel her getting wetter every time I moan. Eventually, she puts her free hand on the back of my neck and pulls my face down so we're kissing again, and it's hot and wet and my hips actually buck when her tongue rubs up against mine.

I feel myself getting close and break the kiss to bite my lip, and Spencer opens her eyes and then meets my gaze. I keep eye contact as I go over the edge, and I watch Spencer watch me, then see her eyes darken even further in response to my climax, sending her to her peak as well.

She lets out a groan when it's all over, but it's out of disappointment at being done, and I fail to suppress a smile as I bury my face in her neck and gently slide my fingers out of her. She does the same a moment later and wraps her arms around me, holding me in place on top of her.

We make out for a while and though it was _supposed _to help us cool down, it just gets me hot all over again. Spencer has other plans, though, and they probably involve lots of snuggling and mumbled post-sex declarations that will make us both blush, and so I just roll off of her and bury my face in her neck again when we're done kissing, then sling an arm around her midsection and press my side into hers, waiting for her to be her normal cute self.

"I think I should start packing tomorrow," she says instead, quietly, and I raise my head for a moment to blink at her in surprise.

"Spence…let's not talk about that right now," I reply, biting my lip. She nods obediently and lets me slide even closer, but I notice she's still looking perturbed by the time I start to fall asleep.

* * *

Spencer's walking in and out of my closet every few seconds, and I'm just sitting here on my bed, watching her silently and trying not to look too upset.

Finally, she drops the last of her clothing onto a pile on the floor, letting out a loud sigh. "Alright, I think that's the last of my clothes." She glances around the room. "Is there anything else I've left here?"

I shrug neutrally. "I don't know. Like what?"

"Hmm…" She looks around the room. "Oh! I totally let you borrow that one CD a couple months ago…" She crosses to my desk and starts to sift through the junk on the top. Meanwhile, I eye the pile of clothing curiously.

"Wait a second." I stand and walk to the pile, then lift up a hoodie from the top. Spencer turns to look at me, and I show it to her. "This isn't yours; it's mine."

She furrows her eyebrows. "No…I have one just like it. It's tan. And I left it here."

"I brought it back to your house; it's not here anymore. Besides, this is beige," I correct delicately. "Look." I hold it out to her, and she walks over and accepts it from me, examining it closely.

"Oh." She folds it up neatly and hands it back to me, looking disappointed. "Sorry. You were right."

I glance down at the hoodie, then back to Spencer, who doesn't look like she knows what to say now. This whole atmosphere has just sucked the life out of both of us, really. I don't want her to go, but her getting her stuff together is necessary whether she's going to move in with me or not, and right now, all I can do is plan for a "no" anyway.

"Here," I say after a moment of deliberation, holding the hoodie out to her. "I want you to keep it." Before she can protest, I unfold it and slip it on over her head, then help her wriggle into it until it's on right. "There. Perfect." I smile at her and she smiles back, then closes her eyes and wraps her arms around herself.

"It smells like you," she tells me.

"Well, now you can wear it and you'll always have me around," I point out, hoping I don't sound too sad at the prospect of not being able to be around in person.

She just sighs and nods her agreement, eyes still closed. When she finally opens them again, it's so she can step forward and wrap her arms around me. "Are you gonna miss me?" she mumbles sadly.

"More than anything," I reply honestly, and she pulls away a moment later, then stares at me for the longest time, like she's trying to figure me out.

Eventually, she forces a smile, kisses me on the cheek, and then turns away to go back to packing.

And I wonder if I've said something wrong.


	56. Surprise Party

**A/N: Warning: This chapter is cheesetastic. **

* * *

"Here she comes!" Glen whispers from beside me, and I glance over at him to see him peeking over the top of the couch. Kyla hushes him quickly from my other side, and when I listen closely, I hear the sound of an engine getting louder and louder, then dying. Spencer's just pulled into her driveway. Paula sent her on an errand to get her out of the house for a while.

Footsteps head up the pathway to the front door, then climb three steps to the porch. There's a pause, and then the front door is pushed open.

The lights in the room come on and we all jump up at once. "SURPRISE!"

There's laughter at the look on Spencer's face, and then the chatter starts up immediately as Arthur moves to explain the reason for the party. Spencer's cheeks pink as she looks around the room. Kyla, Aiden, and Chelsea are all here, and even _Madison _managed to worm her way into getting invited.

"You guys didn't have to do this," she says shyly, but Glen just moves forward and wraps an arm around her.

"Of course we did! Little sis is finally moving out; _someone _had to throw a party."

I roll my eyes at him and step between Glen and Spencer in order to get my own comment in. "It was your dad's idea. We all had to keep it a secret." I tilt my head towards the kitchen. "There's cake and everything."

Spencer raises an eyebrow disbelievingly. "_You _managed to keep a secret from me?"

I pretend to look hurt. "I can keep a secret!"

"Mhmm. Right." She pecks me on the lips. "Your mouth runneth over."

Arthur manages to gain everyone's attention, then, and announces, "As you all know, this party was thrown to congratulate Spencer for getting accepted into college and moving out like a mature adult." He throws a look in Glen's direction, and several of us laugh. "But first, before we get started, I'd like to take a look back at the times Spencer…_wasn't _so mature."

"Oh God," I hear Spencer whisper next to me as Arthur heads for the television in the living room. We all crowd around as he turns it on, lifts the remote, and presses a button. The television comes to life, and there's little Toddler Spencer playing with a Barbie doll and a GI Joe.

"Aww," we all chorus, and Spencer covers her eyes in humiliation, hiding behind me. I grin at her and move her in front of me, then wrap my arms around her stomach from behind her, holding her against me while the video continues.

A little blonde boy runs over to Toddler Spencer with another GI Joe in his hand, steals _her _GI Joe _and _the Barbie, and then tugs off the Barbie's head before laughing and running away. "GLEN!" Spencer screams, and the camera follows her as she stands up and heads after him. She catches him hiding behind a couch less than ten seconds later, and starts beating him with the headless Barbie until he cries. Arthur is heard in the background trying to get her to stop, the camera is placed down on a table facing away from the action, and more commotion and crying is heard until the video abruptly cuts off.

Kyla dissolves into giggles and the rest of us aren't far behind. I pull Spencer's hands away from her face to reveal that she's blushing now, and Glen really doesn't look much better, actually. Arthur spares them both further embarrassment by announcing, "Alright, there are burgers waiting to be grilled in the backyard and cake waiting to be eaten in the kitchen, so let's get this party started!"

Nearly everyone cheers, and Spencer and I stand here for a moment, watching them file out of the room behind Arthur. "He did not just say that," Spencer deadpans, blushing again. I turn her around and pout at her sarcastically.

"I'm afraid he did."

She rolls her eyes and punches my arm. "Shut up; why didn't you tell me about this?"

"Because it was supposed to be a surprise," I say simply, reaching for her hand. "Now come on. This party is about you, so you can't be off alone with me right now." I wiggle my eyebrows at her. "_That's_ later." Then I proceed to pull her out to the backyard.

* * *

There's music blaring from the stereo system Arthur's managed to set up, and while Clay and Glen playfully take turns stealing Spencer away from each other for dances, I sip a Coke and watch Chelsea stare at Clay. They're _so _together.

A tap on my shoulder has me glancing over my shoulder a moment later. My smile fades. "Ugh. _What_?"

"Here," Madison says with a roll of her eyes, offering me my phone. "You're such a cheater."

I grin at her as I accept it. I canceled it forever ago, and this is the first time I've seen her since Gray. "Thanks."

She just rolls her eyes, then crosses her arms and tilts her head towards Spencer. "Still haven't asked yet, have you? Glen hasn't given me an update."

I look in the gestured direction to see Glen himself scoop Spencer up and spin her around. She screams and throws her arms around his neck to keep him from dropping her, and I smile a little at the scene. Then I remember who I'm talking to, and the smile disappears again. "I'm going to today, for your information."

"Damn," Madison mutters. "Aiden's got today."

"Does he?" I reply crossly. Inwardly, I'm scowling. I _still _can't believe they all bet on this. "I really do hate you all, you know. I'm just more open about it with you."

"Wouldn't have it any other way," she replies with a smirk, before brushing past me and heading for Arthur by the grill. She's probably off to butter him up or something. Typical Madison. I suppose deep down she cares about me, though.

Now that Madison's gone, I decide to join Kyla and Aiden, who are flirting by the lawn chairs. "So I'm surprised _you're _the one who bet on today," I say to Aiden to get his attention.

He shrugs. "Nobody else thought you'd wait until the _very _last minute, so I kind of got stuck with it. Guess it's paying off, though."

"Why aren't you with Spencer?" Kyla interrupts, raising an eyebrow.

"It's her party, she can hang out with whoever she wants to," I point out.

"Well, I just figured…you're _so _sure she's going to say no, so wouldn't it be best if you spent all the time you can with her now?" Kyla retorts, looking a little smug.

"You're annoying," I tell her bluntly, glancing towards the grill again to see Arthur and Paula talking to Madison. Both of Spencer's parents look a little bored, and I can't help but smile a little.

Glen and Clay, meanwhile, are playing tug-of-war with Spencer's arms, and I decide now would be the best time to step in.

With a quick goodbye to Aiden and Kyla, I walk across the yard just in time to stop Spencer's brothers from ripping her in half. "Alright, back off guys. It's my turn," I say, waving them away, and Spencer looks highly thankful as Glen and Clay reluctantly release her. Chelsea and Madison distract them seconds later. "Having fun?" I ask Spencer, tilting my head to the side.

She raises an eyebrow. "Oh, yeah. Getting sent on a pointless errand, watching an embarrassing baby video, and getting pulled apart by Glen and Clay. I'm loving it so far."

"Want me to make it better?" I offer with a grin, and she immediately grabs my hand and pulls me to her.

"How?" she questions, smirking.

"Not like that," I reply, blushing a little. "Your parents can see us."

"They don't care," she replies, cupping my face and kissing me gently, then resting our foreheads together. "Really."

"What about your mom?" I ask quietly.

"I think she's a little too worried about the fact that I'm going off to college to think about anything else. Frankly, she's probably relieved we're together at this point. At least with you, she knows I'm in relatively good hands."

I snort. "_Relatively_?"

"I'm speaking from her point of view," Spencer corrects. "Plus, bonus number two: you can't get me pregnant. That's enough to make any mother more than satisfied."

"True." I kiss her one more time and then pull away slightly to look around. Kyla and Aiden are talking to Chelsea and Clay now; and Madison and Glen are with Spencer's parents. Everyone's occupied. Now's as good a time as any. "Hey, Spence?"

"Hmm?" she questions, reaching forward and tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear absentmindedly. I see Kyla turn and glance at us out of the corner of my eye, and I swallow hard, before taking Spencer's hand and leading her towards the house. I want to do this in private.

Spencer looks confused the whole way back into the house and all the way into the living room, and then all of a sudden, she doesn't. And by the time we're standing face to face and I'm chewing on my bottom lip, she's just waiting patiently, and I'm feeling dumber the longer we stand here in silence.

"You okay?" Spencer asks, but her eyes are twinkling now and she's trying not to smile.

"I'm fine," I breathe out. "I just…" Oh God. I'm going to chicken out. "You know…wanted to make out in private." I lean in for a kiss, but Spencer presses a hand to my shoulder gently to keep me at bay.

"You're lying," she says teasingly. I feel myself blush, and she puts a hand on my cheek, looking more serious now. "There's something you want to ask me, isn't there?"

"No," I say instinctively, but it sounds way too defensive to be the truth. I blush harder and Spencer's smile widens _that _much more.

"Well…if you _did _have something to ask me…" She leans in close and whispers in my ear, "I think I'd probably say yes."

"Really?" We must not be thinking of the same thing if she's this cool with it. I wonder what she thinks I'm going to ask her. "I'm not sure we're thinking about the same thing, Spence."

Now she looks confused. "We aren't?"

"Uh…well, I mean, _maybe _but…"

"You mean…you weren't gonna ask me to marry you?" Spencer questions, tilting her head to the side, and I swear my face must be blood red by now.

"Uh, um…I mean…" I stammer out.

Spencer bursts into laughter before I can say any more. "Relax, Ash. I'm kidding." She pecks me on the lips. "I know what you're going to ask, and I've been waiting months for you to ask it."

I raise an eyebrow disbelievingly. "You have?"

"Mhmm." She nods. "I've been going crazy because I never thought you would."

"I thought you'd say no," I admit sheepishly.

"Why would I say no? I've been bringing it up all over the place. Kyla told me she gave you the go-ahead to ask me, and I've been waiting for it ever since, but you haven't done it, so I thought _you _didn't want to."

I blink thoughtfully. "Oh. Well, um…" I scratch the back of my head. "This isn't going how I'd imagined." Then I furrow my eyebrows. "They're all betting on it; did you know that?"

"Betting on what?" Spencer asks.

"When I'd ask you," I reply with another blush. "Aiden's got today."

"That's mean of them," she retorts, glancing in the direction of the back yard. "Anyway," she continues quickly, squeezing my hand and returning her attention to me. "I have an idea, then."

"What?" I ask curiously. It sinks in all of a sudden what all of this means, and a grin spreads across my face out of nowhere. I'm moving in with Spencer.

This is going to be awesome.

"Ashley Davies," Spencer says with a dramatic flourish, the beginnings of a smile forming on her lips.

"Yes?" I reply, not sure what she's doing.

She pulls me close and kisses me again, then murmurs, "Will you move in with me?"

I grin uncontrollably into the kiss, and wrap my arms around her so that we're hugging instead. "Yeah."

"Yeah?" she asks my neck. I can feel her smiling.

I nod vigorously. "Yeah."

* * *

The second we step back out into the front yard, everyone turns to look at us. We pause mid-step, looking uncertain. Then, hesitantly, I give them all a thumbs-up.

Aiden lets out a whoop, probably at the fact that he just won the bet, and everyone's immediately gathering around us, offering congratulations, and, in Paula's case, warnings and advice.

"So you _finally _got the courage to ask," Aiden says, patting me on the back, but Spencer cuts him off quickly.

"Not exactly. _I _asked _her_."

"Hey! Technicality!" Glen exclaims with surprise. "That means you don't win the bet, dude."

Aiden scoffs. "No way, I had today. That money's mine; it doesn't matter."

"Hold on," Glen says thoughtfully. He turns away to go grab a clipboard lying on one of the lawn chairs, and Paula winks at me for some reason. I decide she's probably been drinking again, because we haven't exactly been on the best terms lately…or, well, _ever_. "Here, look," Glen announces, waving the clipboard in the air when he returns to us. He scans it for a moment, reading it aloud. "Okay, blah blah blah…there's the 12th to the 15th, the 16th to the 18th, Dad's got the 19th and 20th, Aiden has today…but there's one more entry we forgot about…" He pauses for dramatic effect, then gives us all a wolfish grin. "Never."

I scoff instinctively. Someone thought I'd never ask? How rude.

"So…because Spencer asked Ashley, not the other way around, _technically _Ashley never asked. And that makes Mom the winner!"

"_Paula_?" I mouth to Spencer, who looks a little confused herself. I don't think she counted on _anyone _winning if she asked me.

"_You _were in on this too?" Spencer asks her mother.

"I know you two better than you think." Paula replies with a small smile. "Now where's my money, Glen?"

"Well _damn_," Aiden mutters, looking caught between being disappointed and surprised. Spencer and I just exchange raised eyebrows.

Then I remember we're moving in together and my grin returns.

We all head to the kitchen a minute later, and Arthur gives another speech, then cuts the cake and starts handing pieces out. I drag Spencer to the living room couch once I have a slice, and offer a forkful of it to her once she's sitting on my lap. She opens her mouth obediently and lets me put the fork in. I pull it out a moment later and Spencer chews for a moment, then leans in to peck me on the lips. I taste cake. Yum.

"So where do you want to live?" she eventually questions, resting her head on my shoulder. My grin comes back. I think it's going to take a while to get used to this idea.

"Wherever you want. I'll buy you a dream house and hire servants to wait on you hand and foot," I say seriously.

She pulls away and shakes her head at me, but she's smiling. "I was thinking more along the lines of a loft or apartment, and whether you like it or not, I'm paying half the rent. I'll get a job." I open my mouth to protest this, but she cuts me off with, "And the only person I need waiting on me is you." Then she kisses the tip of my nose. I pout at her, hoping she'll change her mind, but knowing she won't.

"Okay. But you have to let me spoil you at least a little bit," I tell her. "I'll even give you money back for the dorm room, and hire movers, and after we move in we should totally get plasma screen TV's and all kinds of cool shit!"

"You've already bought me a car, and _now _you're giving me a place to live. I don't need you to spoil me, Ash."

"Technically, I'm spoiling _us_," I correct with a grin.

"Well…I do have one request…"

"It's done," I declare.

"I get to hang up at least _one _Kelly Clarkson poster in our room."

Crap. "But-"

Thankfully, Glen distracts Spencer by plopping down next to us on the couch, interrupting our conversation by burping right in Spencer's ear. She gapes at him in disgust and he grins. "I got you a present, Spence."

She looks annoyed. "What?"

"That was it." His smile widens and then he gets up and leaves, heading for the kitchen. He probably wants more cake.

"Pig!" Spencer calls after him. I hide a grin of my own and shift her off of my lap gently, leaning over to kiss her on the cheek. "I'll get him back, babe. Hold my cake."

Without waiting for a response, I creep after Glen, entering the kitchen to see Aiden and Kyla leaning against a counter and chatting. Clay's in here as well, talking to Madison for some reason, and then my eyes land on Glen, who's just arrived at the cake. I grin and sneak up to him, and Aiden looks over and catches my eye. We exchange conspiring nods and he calls out, "Hey, Glen! I heard from Chelsea that the cake smells kind of weird."

I can't see Glen's face, but he sounds confused as he leans his face down towards the cake and replies, "What? I don't smell anyth-"

I cut him off by shoving him face-first into the cake.

There's silence.

Then there's a whole lotta laughter.

Spencer's giggling catches my attention, and I turn around to see her standing in the doorway, having seen the whole event. I smile back at her proudly, until an arm slides around my stomach all of a sudden, and then I feel myself being spun around. A second later, _my _face is in the cake, everyone's _still _laughing, and I hear Glen amongst them this time.

Silently, I lean up, wipe the cake from my face, pick up a handful of it, and then turn around and smash it right into Glen's open mouth. This time, the laughter dies and everyone is silent. They know this means war.

I shoot Glen a smirk, and he's quiet and still for a moment…until we all hear a small snicker from behind him. When he turns around and I get a look past him, I see Spencer struggling to keep from laughing again. "Oh, you think that's funny, Spence?" Glen asks sarcastically, but I can see him barely smiling. Spencer shakes her head quickly, still holding back a grin. "Well, then…maybe you'll enjoy…_this_." He steps forward and snatches my piece of cake off the plate in Spencer's hand, then slowly and deliberately runs it down the side of her cheek, spreading icing all over Spencer's face while she gapes at him. I have the sudden urge to lick it off, but then the tension in the room grows, and we all stand here, silent and still. A few seconds pass.

Suddenly, we're all rushing for the remains of the cake, icing and crumbs are flying through the air, and I'm pretty sure most of us can't even tell who we're throwing cake at by the time we're starting to run out of ammo.

I manage to get a throw in at both Kyla _and _Aiden before Spencer slips on some icing and skids right into me, knocking us both to the ground. I land with an "oof" and Spencer lands right on top of me. Her face is covered in icing and so is mine, and we grin at each other as she reaches forward to wipe off my cheeks and forehead. I do the same to her chin, but that's as far as I get before she leans down and kisses me. She tastes even more like cake than she did before and I happily deepen the kiss to the point where I completely forget what's going on around us.

We're quickly pulled back to reality, though, by the sound of footsteps and a loud cry of, "Hey! What's going on here?"

It's Arthur, with both Paula and Chelsea at his side, looking stunned.

I scramble to my feet and help Spencer up, catching her when she nearly slips on the floor again. Everyone else immediately stops throwing cake, and Glen points at me. "She started it!"

"Did not!" I retort, grabbing more cake and throwing it right at him. He ducks and it sails through the air…straight at Paula's face. I gape in horror as it hits right-on-target. The room goes silent again, and I feel Spencer tighten her grip on my hand.

Oh shit.

We all watch as Paula raises a finger to her cheek, slowly wiping off the icing and then eyeing her finger like she can't believe what just happened.

I'm immediately groveling. "Oh my God, I'm _so _sorry, I really didn't mean -"

I'm interrupted when a piece of cake hits me right in the face, slides down my cheek, and then drops off my chin and onto the floor. When I look up, Paula's smirking at me and the plate in her hand is empty. I'm silent for a moment, stunned along with everyone else, until the expression on her face finally sinks in. I smirk back instantly. "Oh, it's _on,_ now."

Cake fights with Paula, kisses from Spencer, _and _finding out I get to move in with my girlfriend?

Best. Party. Ever.

I wouldn't change a thing.


End file.
